“I’ve never slept with anyone but you two!” Taffy cried shortly after Hats and Pinky arrived at her apartment demanding information regarding her promiscuities. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
Hats stood behind Pinky’s back, snickering.
“Please, Taffy,” Pinky asked. “If you ever cared about me in any way, you have to tell me the truth. If you’ve been with anybody else I have to know.”
“But I haven’t!” she cried. “Do you think I’m some floozy or something?”
Taffy was dressed in a puffy mini skirt and a low-cut half shirt that revealed her white cleavage and butterfly tattoo next to her belly button. She was on her way out to a nightclub when they caught her. One minute later and they probably would never have gotten to question her.
“Of course not,” Pinky said.
Hats laughed even louder.
“Shut up, Hats!” she cried.
Pinky blocked Hats from her view. “They say the rat is a member of the Bozo Family and he’s somebody who’s been sleeping with you.”
“Who the heck is saying that?” she cried. “Is somebody spying on me? What kind of pervert would be keeping track of my sex life?”
“I don’t know.” Pinky shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”
“Forget about that for now.” Pinky tried to speak in a calming tone. “Look, we need your help. Hats isn’t a rat. I’m not a rat. It’s got to be somebody else you’ve been with.”
“Who says it’s not one of you? For all I know, you both could be rats.”
“It’s not us, Taffy. You’ve got to believe me.” He stepped closer and took her hand in his, then looked her in the eyes. “You know me. I’m loyal to the Bozos. I’d give my life for this family. Please, help me figure out who’s the real rat so we can prove our innocence.”
There was a glimmer in Taffy’s eyes as Pinky looked at her. But only for a split second. When the glimmer faded, she jerked his hand away. “I told you. There’s no one else. I can’t believe you’d even think there was. I’ve always been faithful.”
Hats put his hand on Pinky’s shoulder. “Come on, kid. I told you this was a waste of time.”
Pinky sighed and lowered his head. He wondered if Hats was right.
“Oh, wait…,” Taffy said. “I guess there was that one guy, but he doesn’t count…”
Pinky’s eyes brightened. “What guy?”
“Yeah, what guy?” Hats said in a pissed-off tone.
Taffy backed up, getting flustered with the confrontation.
“I don’t remember his name. He was just some guy in the family. A low-level nobody. But I wasn’t really sleeping with him.”
“I thought you said you weren’t sleeping with anyone else, you lying bitch,” Hats cried.
Pinky had to hold him back.
“I wasn’t sleeping with anyone. Well, not exactly. I got in bed with this guy a couple times but I didn’t have an orgasm. It doesn’t count if I don’t have an orgasm.”
Hats looked like he was ready to strangle her. “How the hell does that not count?”
“You know how hard it is to get me off. Why do you think I cheated on Pinky with you in the first place?”
“Are you saying you just used me for sex?” Hats cried.
“You think I’d let you anywhere near me if you were some limp-ballooned loser?”
Pinky tried to break up the argument but couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Back at his place, Hats acted as if he didn’t care for Taffy at all, as if she were just some cheap slut. Now he was getting upset. Either he truly cared for the girl and didn’t realize it until now or he was just getting upset because she’d hurt his ego.
“I thought we had something special going on…” Hats turned away as his voice went soft.
Taffy snickered at him. “Yeah, right. I’d never choose you over Pinky. He’d be the perfect boyfriend if he wasn’t always so gentle in bed.”
Pinky turned to her. “I’m too gentle?”
She looked him in the eyes for a second and then glanced away. Then she shrugged and said, “Well, when we make love…it’s really sweet and all, but sometimes I want more. Sometimes I like it rough.”
“Oh…,” Pinky said.
He felt inadequate. He knew he should’ve been pissed that she cheated on him, but at that moment he figured it was all his fault. He just wasn’t good enough.
In the background, Hats was getting impatient. “So are you going to tell us about this guy you were fucking or not?”
Taffy shrugged. “Like I was saying, I don’t know his name. If he told me I wasn’t paying attention. I only ran into him at clubs when I was drunk.”
“Well, what did he look like?” Hats asked. “What color was his hair? What size were his feet?”
“I don’t know. He looked like an average clown,” she said.
Pinky said, “Think Taffy. Was there any distinguishing feature about him?”
“Not really,” she said. “Except for his clothes.”
“What about his clothes?”
“Well, he always wore this weird bow tie. He wouldn’t ever take it off, even when we were having sex.”
“Holy shit…,” Hats said.
Hats and Pinky looked at each other. In unison, they said “Nicky Bowtie!”
“Yeah,” Taffy said. “I think that’s what he called himself.”
Pinky couldn’t believe it. He’d been working with Nick for months. He couldn’t believe he’d been wearing a wire that whole time.
“Are you sure he’s the one?” Pinky asked. “He’s the only one you’ve slept with besides the two of us?”
“Yeah, I promise,” she said. “Just him.”
“That little shit,” Hats said.
“You know him?” Taffy asked.
“I just saw him today,” Pinky said. “He’s in Spotty’s crew with me.”
“I’m going to kill him.” Hats punched the wall. “I’m going to beat him to a pulp and then I’m going to kill him.”
Then Hats turned and walked away, going down the hall toward the elevator.
“Where are you going?” Pinky called.
Hats didn’t bother turning around. “I’m going downstairs to my place to put on my best hats. We’re going after that son of a bitch.”
When they were alone together, Taffy and Pinky didn’t know what to say to each other for a few minutes. They didn’t make eye contact.
Taffy was the first to speak. “Look, I’m sorry I slept with Hats and that Bowtie clown.”
Pinky didn’t respond.
“Look, I don’t have a ring on my finger,” she said. “I don’t have to be faithful to you. If we’re not married, I’m free to do what I want to do with whoever I want.”
Pinky felt his pocket. He wanted to show her that he did plan to put a ring on her finger, that he planned to propose to her that very night. But as he felt his pants, he couldn’t find the ring. His eyes widened.
“Don’t get all upset about it,” she said when she saw his facial expression change. “I still loved you with all my heart…up until I found out you were a rat.”
Pinky had no idea what could have happened to the ring. He wondered if he lost it when he was shot at. The last time he’d had it was when he received the black joker card. Maybe his mother never gave it back to him when he showed it to her. No matter where it was, he wasn’t able to show it to her yet. He had to forget about proposing to her for the time being.
“So you still think I’m a rat?” Pinky asked.
“Of course I do,” she said.
“Why?”
“If my father says you’re a rat then you’re a rat. I won’t treat you as anything else until you can prove it to the family.”
Pinky nodded. He respected her decision.
“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Pinky said.
As he turned to follow after Hats, she yelled, “And until then you better stay the hell away from me. I don’t want to be around when Mr. Pogo comes for you.”
A smile crept up on Pinky’s face after she said that. No matter what she said or did, he couldn’t help but continue to be hopelessly in love with that woman.