When the routine was finished, Buggy knew he was in big trouble. The act wasn’t going to fly with the audience. He had to figure something out.
On the way out of the club, he ran into Snuffy and said, “I want you to bring your canisters of laughy-gas to the show on Friday.”
“Why do we need that, skipper?”
“Because I want you to gas the crowd, just like you do at your own shows. We need them to laugh and since Goldstein’s performance ain’t gonna do the trick, we need to use some chemical enticement.”
“But the venue’s too big,” Snuffy said. “We’d have to use all three canisters.”
“Then we’ll use all three.”
“But I invested a ton of money into that stuff. Are you going to pay me back?”
“No, I’m not. Because it’s your fault we need to use the gas in the first place. If you didn’t offer a money-back guarantee we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Are you serious?” Snuffy whined. “That’s bullshit and you know it, Buggy.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to? Just bring the canisters to the show or you’re done.”
“Fine…” Snuffy kicked a chair like a disappointed kindergartner.
But the laughy-gas still wasn’t going to be enough. Buggy needed to do one more thing to make sure the show went over successfully. In his current condition, Goldstein wasn’t going to be able to perform in a way that would capture his audience. Eighty percent of comedy was in the presentation, so Buggy had to do something drastic to make sure Goldstein performed with energy and charm.
“On more thing…,” Buggy said.
Snuffy turned back. “Yeah?”
“Pick me up some Happy Juice.”
“Happy Juice? What for? Do you know some vanilla schmuck who wants to be turned into a clown?”
“Yeah, Goldstein,” Buggy said.
“Goldstein wants to become a clown?”
“No, he’s not going to know about it. I want to inject him with a time-released dose just before the show.”
“But how will anyone recognize him if he’s a clown?”
“That’s why it will be time-released. He’ll transform on stage. I’m sure it will be a big hit with the crowd. Not only that, but he’ll have the energy and charisma of a clown. Who knows, he might even do a good job up there.”