Pinky Smiles showed up at Jojo’s doorstep that night, carrying flowers and a bottle of rosé wine.
“Your bride’s not here,” Jojo said. “She’s out with her mother shopping for a chocolate fountain or something ridiculous like that.” Then he pointed at the things in Pinky’s hands. “Those for Taffy?”
The kid was obviously nervous. Jojo was an intimidating figure, especially for a soon-to-be father-in-law. And as second in command of the Bozo Family, he was not the kind of clown whose daughter you wanted to be messing around with.
Pinky looked down, then back up at the clown. “No, they’re for Gianna.”
Jojo laughed and let him inside. “It’s not my wife you have to impress, kid. It’s me. Where’s my bottle?”
Pinky looked down. “I just got the one.”
Jojo shrugged and said, “I guess we’ll have to drink that one then. My wife shouldn’t be having any on her medication anyway.”
The underboss uncorked the bottle and poured each of them a glass, then they went to the living room and took a seat.
“I’m glad you came,” Jojo said. “I’ve been needing to talk to you.”
Pinky took his glass and drank the tiniest sip. “Yeah?”
When Jojo took a sip of the wine, he cringed and spit it back into the glass. “This crap is terrible. Where the hell did you get this?”
Pinky didn’t know how to respond to that. He just shrugged and shrank in his seat.
“Seriously, kid. A real clown drinks whiskey, beer, and scotch…and maybe a little bubblegum cognac now and then. That’s it. None of this wine bullshit. We’re not fucking French.”
Pinky just nodded and sipped his wine.
“So, this was supposed to be a surprise Blue Nose was going to tell you at your bachelor party.” Jojo paused to take a couple of gulps of the wine, despite what he’d just said about never drinking it. “But I’m not invited to your bachelor party, not that I’d go if I was, so to hell with the surprise if I’m not going to be there for it…”
Jojo trailed off to take a few more sips of wine. He cringed after every sip.
“What surprise?” Pinky asked.
Jojo looked at Pinky and raised his glass. “You’re getting made, kid. Congratulations.”
Pinky’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious?”
“Try to act surprised when Vinnie tells you later this week.”
“I can’t believe it…,” Pinky said. All of his dreams were suddenly coming true. “Thank you.”
Even though Spotty had told him it was coming, Pinky was still shocked that it was really happening.
“Come here,” Jojo said, giving the kid a cheers with his glass and then giving him a hug. “By this time next week, after you walk down the aisle, you’ll be a major part of both my families.”
Pinky was practically glowing. “Thank you. This means everything to me.”
“You’re going to be the father of my grandchildren,” Jojo said. “This promotion will ensure you’re able to provide for them. If my brother didn’t approve of Vinnie’s request, I probably would’ve called the wedding off.”
Jojo laughed, but Pinky could tell he wasn’t joking.
“Speaking of my brother, you probably know that me and him don’t always get along too well.”
Pinky nodded. Everyone knew about how much the two Bozo brothers always butted heads.
“There’s going to come a day, maybe even sometime soon, when it will be time for my brother to step down and another clown will have to take his place.”
“Like Jimmy?”
Uncle Jojo frowned at the kid. That was the wrong name to say at that moment.
“No, like me.”
Pinky nodded. “Oh yeah, of course.”
“And when that time comes, I want to make sure you’re on my side. Not Vinnie’s side. Not anyone else’s side.”
The mood in the room became tense. Pinky with his happy-go-lucky personality wasn’t accustomed to this kind of talk. It took him by surprise.
“But Vinnie’s my capo,” Pinky said.
“Yeah, and you should be loyal to him. And my brother’s the boss, you should be loyal to him, too. But I’m going to be your father. The clown who marries my daughter has to be loyal to me over anyone else in the family. Capisce?”
Pinky nodded. It was clear he really had no clue what he was talking about. He didn’t understand why he’d need to be loyal to one clown more than another. He was loyal to the Bozo Family, everyone in the Bozo Family. The idea of choosing sides didn’t make sense.
“I have high hopes for you, kid. Don’t disappoint me.”
Pinky stood up, thinking Jojo was finished with the conversation.
“We’re not through yet,” Jojo said.
Pinky refilled his glass instead.
“The last thing I wanted to talk about is the most important,” Jojo said. He waited for Pinky to sit down before continuing. “It’s about my daughter. Taffy is everything to me. She means more to me than anything else in the world.”
Jojo pulled out a revolver and set it in his lap. He pretended to be polishing it with a napkin while pointing it directly at the kid.
“When I first heard that you and Taffy were engaged, I wasn’t too happy about it,” Jojo said. “In fact, I was a little annoyed…annoyed enough to put a bullet in your head.”
Pinky tried to shift away from his line of fire, but Jojo just tilted it toward his new direction while polishing.
“I didn’t want her to marry someone like you. It’s not because you’re half clown. I don’t care about that. In fact, half clown is better than full clown if you ask me. I was really hoping she’d end up with a nice vanilla boy. A doctor or an engineer, somebody who’d take her away from this town. But you? There was no way I could let her end up with someone like you…” He broke eye contact and looked down at the gun. “Or someone like me.”
Jojo put the gun down.
“But then I started thinking, maybe you’re the perfect guy for Taffy.” Jojo took another swig of wine. “Let’s be honest, she’s not the easiest person to get along with. I spoiled her too much. I love her with all my heart, but she’s kind of a little shit, to be honest. My dream of her ending up with some vanilla doctor? Not going to happen. But you? You’re something else.”
Jojo paused to laugh at the kid. “You have the patience of a saint putting up with her for as long as you two’ve been dating. She’s never had a boyfriend who stuck around as long as you.”
Pinky didn’t know what he was getting at, but smiled anyway. Just thinking about Taffy always put a smile on his face.
“When I think about what really matters to me, it’s not giving her the life I wanted for her. All I really care about is for her to be happy. And I don’t think any guy out there could make her as happy as you do.”
Jojo finished the bottle. By the end, he realized he kind of liked the flowery wine. It tasted a little too much like perfume, but pretty good.
“You’re like me,” Jojo said. “You see her as a princess. And the only way to deal with a princess is to endlessly shower her with gold and presents and admiration, and never ask for anything in return. Not many men are willing to do that for a woman. But you are. Once I realized that, I knew you were the only clown my daughter could marry.”
Pinky didn’t know what to say after that speech. He wanted to give the big guy a hug. But after he stood up, he found the barrel of the revolver shoved in his stomach.
“But if you ever stop treating my daughter like a princess,” Jojo spit in his face. “If you ever hit her, cheat on her, or do anything to even make her cry, I will bury you. Once that ring is on your finger, you’re dedicated to her for life.”
Pinky just smiled at him.
“Of course,” the kid said. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Jojo was thrown off by the half clown. He wouldn’t expect him to be so cheerful with a gun in his stomach. It was like the kid was so confident that he’d always make Taffy happy, the threat was inconsequential to him.
“I’m glad we understand each other,” Jojo said.
Then he gave Pinky an awkward hug so tight the gun nearly went off between them.