Chapter Fifteen

Down the rabbit hole.

—Lewis Carroll

 

THOMAS OPENED THE front door, and they entered the freezing cabin after stomping off their boots. Ryan grabbed his knit hat and went outside to care for his birds. When he returned, he confirmed they were alright and laid four eggs in the basket on the counter.

“Well,” Ryan said, his tone argumentative.

“Same,” Thomas argued again, picking up on the previous conversation.

“Well, if you’re the same,” Ryan posed, “then you want me to have the white fur wedding, um…pillowcase?”

“Oh, no, that’s all him.” Thomas shook his head. “I just want a warm bed and your naked body.” He tossed the rabbit in the sink while Ryan built a fire in the fireplace.

“So he’s the romantic and not you,” Ryan sputtered, trying not to laugh. “Because it seems to me since you are both one and the same, that would also mean you’re the…”

“Fine,” Thomas snapped. “I want it too.”

Ryan grinned back over his shoulder. “Then why didn’t you just say so?”

Thomas went outside, making a human-sounding growling noise, and returned with an armload of wood. He filled the firewood holder and returned again with a stack of the smaller cut wood for the kitchen stove. He quietly built a fire in the box and then went to work on the rabbit in the sink. Ryan stood in front of the opposite counter examining the atilt coffee maker. Thomas waited for him to move it to its previously perfect position. He didn’t. Instead, Ryan approached him from behind.

“But you’ll wash all the blood off and make it all clean, white, and soft…” Ryan said over Thomas’s shoulder as his body shook with laughter.

Thomas ignored him as he carefully skinned the rabbit in the large farmhouse sink.

Ryan’s hands went to Thomas’s hips, and his chin was on his shoulder. “I like my white rabbit fur.”

“Of course you do. We know…we know what you like,” Thomas mumbled. “Aren’t you going to fix the coffee maker?”

“No, I’m not.”

Ryan pressed his hips into Thomas’s backside, and Thomas froze with his hands now bloody in the sink.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Bonding with you,” Ryan said. “Don’t stop. Keep working on my rabbit.”

“Seriously?” Thomas held up his bloody hands.

“Shh.” Ryan slid his hands around Thomas, splaying them out on his stomach. “I think I want many more white rabbits,” he said in a low voice. “I want to watch you work to make them soft for me. Then, I want to watch you carefully sew them together until they cover the entire bed. Then every time we…”

“Fuck,” Thomas whispered.

“Not yet, but soon.” Ryan kissed Thomas’s ear. “Keep working. That’s only the first one. And you in the kitchen—it just does something to me.”

Thomas groaned but continued. Ryan teased and tempted at his waistline, with the first button of his pants. His other hand went under Thomas’s shirt and toyed with a nipple, fingers pinching lightly and then swiping back and forth.

“So, you want us to make you an entirely white fur blanket to cover that big bed.” Thomas panted as Ryan, now hard, slowly ground the front of his body into the back of Thomas’s. “Ryan…” Thomas gripped the sink edge hard.

“Yes, that’s what I want. Wash your hands and finish it later,” Ryan said, and then he was gone from behind him.

Thomas shook his head. “See what you’ve done now,” Thomas ranted at Wolf.

Mate likes white rabbits, Wolf concluded.

Thomas rolled his eyes and rinsed the fur, then squeezed the water out of it. He carried it down to the basement and stretched it out on the flat stone with the first one. After quickly wrapping the half-butchered rabbit and throwing it in the refrigerator, he washed his hands. Thomas paused at the coffee machine left askew. That was new.

Thomas found Ryan in the bath, his head leaned back, eyes closed, and one hand beneath the water making ripples with his movement. Thomas stripped his clothes off and slid into the pool. He went under to rinse himself and then stood before Ryan. Ryan pulled him by the hip to straddle his lap on the wide seat, and Thomas let out an uncontrolled whine, like Wolf.

“Come here,” Ryan whispered and pulled Thomas’s neck so he’d lower his face to Ryan’s.

“Ryan.” Thomas’s voice trembled.

“I know.” Ryan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Thomas’s for the first time in forever. Ryan trembled right along with Thomas as their mouths relearned each other after so long apart.

Thomas slid his fingers into Ryan’s hair, and Ryan worked the tie from Thomas’s hair and did the same. They kissed like they were both starving for each other, an instant passion, and it roared between them. Ryan might not say much with his words, but this was his expression. Ryan’s other hand slid down and pressed into Thomas’s hip, squeezing and pulling, urging him to move. Ryan groaned as Thomas adjusted his position, aligning his body with Ryan’s, and they rocked their hips together. Ryan’s mouth trailed down Thomas’s neck to his chest and teased and played there, while Thomas let out sounds of pleasure, slipping his hand between them, around both of them.

“Getting this one out of the way,” Thomas panted.

“Yes,” Ryan groaned. “I’d never last.”

“I know.” Thomas stroked his hand faster and crushed his mouth to Ryan’s as water sloshed over the side of the pool, and they collided, creating furious waves and fire at the same time. Thomas’s breath heaved by Ryan’s ear, and then he cried out as Ryan lost it and clung to Thomas tight, digging his fingers into his backside and hip.

“Fuck yes,” Ryan cursed out.

Thomas slumped over Ryan’s shoulder. And then, after a moment, he laughed.

“What?” Ryan asked with a smile.

“Some things never change,” Thomas sighed out.

“Not with us.” Ryan squeezed Thomas’s ass. “Bed,” he said.

They dried off quickly, and Ryan retrieved something from the dresser drawer before crawling into bed over Thomas. Thomas slid his legs apart and made room for Ryan as he lowered himself, retaking Thomas’s mouth in a kiss.

When Ryan shifted to Thomas’s ear, he whispered there, “God, I missed you, missed this feeling with you.” He then closed his eyes.

Thomas waited as Ryan’s silent questions appeared, asking him to show him with his mind, to tell him the right way to do this. Thomas worked his hands between them, guiding Ryan’s and taking the bottle from him. He moved Ryan’s slick fingers in place, guiding one where he needed Ryan to touch him. Thomas whispered his gentle directions against Ryan’s neck as he kissed there and ran his hands over Ryan’s back and arms.

“Never let me hurt you,” Ryan whispered. “I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you, even a little.”

“You would never come close,” Thomas said, knowing this about Ryan and how careful and tender his lover was with him.

“God.” Ryan groaned when Thomas’s body relaxed, and Thomas reached down again, guiding Ryan’s hand, moving him inside his body.

“Like that, just like that,” Thomas moaned. “Then, when you feel I’m ready, two, then three, then you.”

Ryan’s whole body shook above Thomas as he nodded and then pressed his lips to Thomas’s. Ryan seemed sure but looked to Thomas for his approval. Ryan progressed with the instructions he’d been given, watching Thomas closely for pleasure and discomfort.

“I’ve regretted not giving you this for nine years,” Ryan whispered. “I wanted it too; I was scared.” He kissed and flicked at Thomas’s chest, neck, and ears, and Thomas relaxed more, becoming more pliant to Ryan’s touch.

“You don’t seem scared now,” Thomas panted and ran his hands over Ryan’s shoulders and back.

“I’m not,” Ryan said with a smile.

Thomas nodded again, and Ryan groaned, lightly biting Thomas between kissing him and whispering his devoted love and naughty things into Thomas’s ear. And Thomas learned everything Ryan had dreamed and fantasized about him over the years. Thomas reached for the bottle again, nudged his hand out of the way, and prepared Ryan.

“I love you, Thomas,” Ryan said.

“I love you,” Thomas replied as their bodies carefully joined for the first time.

Ryan panted over him, holding still and gripping the sheets tightly, waiting. Thomas put his left hand on Ryan’s hip and guided him slowly, moving Ryan how Thomas needed him to.

“Ryan,” Thomas whispered, and Ryan’s thumb wiped away the tear.

“I know. I love you so much too,” Ryan said with tears in his own eyes.

Thomas could barely speak when he said, “I’m so sorry, Ryan.”

“I know; I forgive you,” Ryan said. “Jesus.” He shuddered and looked down between them where they were joined. “Is this…” Ryan closed his eyes as he slid his hips away, then pressed himself back in.

“Yes, that’s how,” Thomas groaned.

Ryan trembled but thrust slowly, pushing in and pulling out and watching Thomas’s every expression. He lowered his upper body and kissed Thomas with a kiss that said everything his words would not always say as clearly. Even after all this time, Thomas still understood Ryan’s silent language.

Ryan pulled away and slowed, easing himself inside deep and pausing there to catch his breath. “Make me your mate, Thomas.”

“There’s no rush. We can wait.” Thomas shook his head. “This is a big decision.”

“I don’t need to think about being able to spend forever with you. You said it’s nearly eternity, right?” Ryan asked.

Thomas gripped Ryan’s hip harder. “It is almost forever together, yes.”

“If it was only one day with you, if that’s all we had,” Ryan said and kissed his lips once, “then my answer would be the same. Thomas, make me your mate.”

Thomas sucked in a breath as his fingernails turned into claws that didn’t pierce the skin but guided and held Ryan in place.

“It will hurt,” Thomas warned but could see Ryan didn’t care how much pain he’d have to endure.

Ryan groaned as he drove into Thomas, rocking into him and withdrawing again and again.

“That’s it,” Thomas whispered as his teeth turned into sharp points and his eyes glittered as Wolf.

Thomas forced Ryan’s hips faster with the demand of his claws controlling them.

“Thomas,” Ryan hissed.

“Wolf,” Thomas growled.

My Wolf, my mate. Ryan’s thought was clear in Thomas’s head. Do it.

Thomas snarled and dug in his claws, barely breaking the skin as Ryan followed the silent command and took Thomas harder and faster.

“Close, so close,” Ryan panted, and then Thomas pulled Ryan’s neck to their mouth and snarled out possession of their mate before biting down, sinking short, sharp bonding canines into Ryan’s skin just below his neck. Thomas tensed and his hand jerked faster between them as Ryan’s body responded the same. Fire shot through Thomas and up his spine, and he released his heat between them as Ryan lost his battle to last inside Thomas.

Ryan cried out in pleasure, and Thomas also knew pain as his sharp teeth receded. He used his warm tongue to lap at the wound, coating it and working the saliva into each mark he’d made, sharing and infusing the Wolf DNA into their mate. Ryan didn’t move, still deep inside Thomas and his Wolf as they licked and lapped, filling each open puncture with the lupine secretion, making Ryan theirs forever.

Ryan’s body slowly went lax, his eyes beginning to glaze, and Thomas knew it was happening.

“Yes,” Thomas snarled, and he continued the transfusion, hardening again between them, and Ryan twitched and firmed inside Thomas, hardening impossibly from what Thomas was putting into him. Ryan was responding to it, and he groaned as the uncontrollable, driving need again came over him.

Yes, mate, Wolf rumbled to Ryan. Again. Must mate again during the bond. To make mine. Wolf flooded Ryan’s mind with pleasure images of what he needed to do. Thomas wants. Wolf wants. He growled—bond.

Ryan moved the way he had been shown. Thomas held his neck firmly in place as he continued to transfer the secretion from the swollen bonding gland in his neck into Ryan’s bloodstream through the open wounds. Thomas could hear Ryan’s silent thoughts and knew, as with himself, it felt good for Ryan—sexual and strange. It made Ryan as hard as steel inside Thomas, and this intoxicated Thomas, made him light-headed.

“Are you okay?” Ryan panted as he moved his hips.

For Thomas, the pleasure was indescribable, finally having Ryan inside him so intimately. More images flashed in his mind along with Ryan’s silent voice: Yes, my God. Thomas, don’t stop.

Ryan seemed just as lost in the moment as Thomas wrapped his legs around him, his hands now in his hair. Claws receded as he lapped at the wound, sealing it closed. Thomas flopped back on the pillow, and he swallowed hard as Ryan focused on the side of Thomas’s neck, where a rounded node had swollen, protruding. It had reduced in size but hadn’t yet returned to normal. There was a question in Ryan’s eyes.

“We aren’t done yet,” Thomas promised.