Chapter Sixteen

My, my, my…

— Mother

 

THOMAS’S MOUTH WAS aggressively on Ryan’s now. A strange flavor burst onto his lips and tongue, not unpleasant, but with a definite coppery undertone. This was the remaining secretion from the bonding gland, which typically only appeared once in a Wolf’s lifetime. It formed during the bonding, expanding as it filled with the serum containing the Wolf DNA. In biting down, the Wolf created an injury to the veins, opening them. He then mated until enough of the fluid had been transferred into his partner’s bloodstream.

A thin, temporary vein appeared beneath the length of the tongue, open at the end, allowing the substance to flow directly into the vein, then the mouth. Thomas hadn’t even had time to explain all this to Ryan—that the infusion and licking would last for some time as the temporary vein pumped and delivered what had been described as ambrosia for the receiving mate.

Thomas separated his mouth from Ryan’s. “There’s a vein in my mouth. You’ll have to swallow…”

Ryan’s mouth was eagerly on him before he could even finish the sentence.

Ryan’s tongue explored until it found the vein on Thomas’s, and it pulsed fluid in response, coating the inside of their mouths. Ryan swallowed it as they kissed. Then, the kiss seemed to change, with Ryan suckling at the vein as if he were coaxing with his lips and tongue for it to spill for him again. Thomas extended his tongue for Ryan, and time seemed to slow as the unrestrained sounds of pleasure and sensations Ryan was feeling surrounded Thomas, Ryan all but whimpering as he lazily milked the vein. His thrusts had slowed to languid, matching the pace of his mouth.

Thomas sank his fingers into Ryan’s hair encouraging him to take it all from him. The vein pulsated again. Ryan’s kiss changed once more, now more hungry as if Ryan wanted every drop. Ryan moaned inside Thomas’s mouth as he sucked at the vein and swallowed.

Thomas’s cry of pleasure was muffled in Ryan’s mouth, and Thomas breathed through his nose hard and fast as Ryan sucked harder, his head bobbing with his greed.

More.

Thomas heard Ryan’s command loud and clear. When the vein released again, Ryan gripped Thomas’s shoulders harshly, and he was wild, animal, with his final deepest thrusts filling Thomas. Thomas was no better as he gripped Ryan, pulling every drop of Ryan’s release into them at the same time, taking his bonding essence, receiving it from Ryan.

The last of it coated Ryan’s mouth, and the vein subsided. Thomas rested his hand on Ryan’s cheek, and Ryan swallowed the last of it down. He looked into Thomas’s eyes, then kissed him deeply before collapsing on top of him.

“Oh my God,” Thomas said, dazed and overwhelmed as the bonding completed between them. Ryan’s essence flowed inside his own blood as if that part of him would never leave his bloodstream now.

“Mates,” Ryan said with so much emotion Thomas felt it in his heart, and his Wolf did too.

“Mates,” Thomas confirmed, and Ryan lifted up on shaking arms and kissed him once more on the lips.

Ryan eased himself off Thomas and rolled onto his back, taking Thomas with him. Thomas gazed down in awe at Ryan, still panting with eyes that appeared dazed. Ryan smiled up at him. But Thomas, who was flooded with a full feeling, knew what was coming for Ryan next. He watched as the hot sensation burned through Ryan’s bloodstream and digestive system, that intoxicating ambrosia began turning into an inferno. Thomas felt guilty for a moment; Ryan had barely had time to revel in what they’d just done for the first time. Stinging tears filled Thomas’s eyes.

Finally.

And it had been so much more than Thomas ever imagined. Nothing he’d been taught by his elders about mating could have prepared him for such intimacy, such profound love that could be experienced between two fated for each other. Thomas was lost in his own wonderment—speechless at his experience. This first real time, Ryan’s stomach tensed beneath Thomas, abs contracting as the Wolf DNA began working.

Thomas snapped out of his own reverie and quickly explained, “The DNA has to work through your bloodstream and organs for the transformation to begin. This is the part that hurts, Ryan.”

Thomas was up and off the bed and then at Ryan’s side in a heartbeat with a cool, damp towel. He quickly cleaned Ryan and himself. Then, returning with another, he wiped Ryan’s sweaty forehead and whispered calming words to him as he gritted his teeth.

“Just breathe through it. It’s going to burn like fire. Try not to fight it,” Thomas soothed.

Don’t fight it. Let us have you. Mate, Wolf chanted. But this time, he, too, spoke in a calming tone.

Ryan sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly as the burning continued. Thomas knew through their mate bond he was trying to relax through the pain, to get lost in it and let it take him.

“That’s it,” Thomas said as he continued to wipe the sweat from Ryan’s brow and forehead. He tried to soothe him, running the cloth from his neck and over the sides of his face.

Ryan’s entire body tremored.

“It’s almost over,” Thomas assured him. “You’re almost through it. Now, you must find your Wolf, Ryan. Find him inside yourself, and then let him out.”

Ryan squeezed his eyes tight, silently calling to his own Wolf and then to his mate. It hurts. Help me.

Always, Wolf said with love.

And Wolf showed Ryan where his own Wolf waited inside himself.

There you are, Wolf growled.

But he wasn’t angry. It was an invitation, almost playful but still demanding, the strong pull and raw need for Ryan to obey it, to meet the unspoken command with his own. An animal snarl came from Ryan’s mouth.

Wolf, Thomas said with awe and love. He ran his hands over thick fur on each side of Ryan and wrapped his arms around him, around his new form. Ryan’s Wolf reflected the opposite of Thomas; where he was white, Ryan was black. But they were both gray Wolves, a perfect pair.

Thomas shifted to Wolf next to Ryan and whined. Connected completely now, Thomas experienced Ryan’s new sensations as he panted with an unfamiliar tongue. He breathed in longer, fuller breaths. His heartbeat synchronized with Thomas’s—with their Wolves. Wolf rejoiced with so much pride, happiness, and love.

Beautiful mate, Wolf whispered to Ryan.

Over and over, Wolf praised him as they showed Ryan the way. Through the front door and encouraged their mate to run with them for the first time.

Fly with me, Wolf wanted.

Whining and yipping. Teasing and playing.

Fly with me around the lake. Through our woods.

And they flew, running through their territory, racing and playing, rolling and frolicking in deep snow until they breathed hard from the exertion. They kept going until Wolf said, Enough and Home mate, home.

Side by side, they padded through the snow back to the cabin. Their breaths fogged, clouds of white joining and dissipating. Wolf paused, admiring his mate once more before they took the last steps up the porch, shook off the snow, and then were through the open door of the cabin.

Wolf sat on the floor inside. You must find Ryan now, inside, and shift.

Wolf showed Ryan through their link where his human form was inside him.

The Wolf in Ryan receded, and he sucked in a gasping breath, wide-eyed and smiling as Thomas shifted.

Thomas nodded hard. “You did it,” he said and threw his arms around Ryan as they lay in a naked, tangled, wet heap on the living room floor.

“Oh my God, Thomas.” Ryan breathed and clung to his mate. “Everything makes much more sense now.”

“Forever, mate, soulmate, Ryan, my Wolf,” Thomas babbled and breathed in the most incredible relief.

Ryan just held on to Thomas harder, and they both cried tears of that very real relief and joy, tears of love and true commitment.

Finally, they said at the same time.

When they’d recovered, Thomas helped Ryan to the bed to rest. Turning Wolf the first time took a lot out of anyone. Thomas was tired, too, but he let Ryan close his eyes. Thomas tended to the fires, cooked dinner for them, and baked more of the bread Ryan loved. He finished up with the rabbit, storing the meat in the freezer.

While the bread baked and meat sauce simmered, Thomas put on water to boil for pasta. He ventured outside and found two young saplings, bare of their leaves for winter, and cut them at the ground. He carried them inside and sat at the kitchen table using his knife and a roll of hefty twine to fashion a tight and sturdy frame.

Thomas retrieved the rabbit pelt, carefully stretched it, and stitched it to the frame. He placed the pelt frame near the fire to dry out a bit, then pulled the bread from the oven and put it on the counter to cool. Thomas had the table ready—he didn’t have to wake Ryan to come and eat. Ryan could now sense it and hear his thoughts. Thomas smiled, so full of unbelievable happiness at the familiar footsteps approaching.

Thomas looked up. Ryan’s cheeks were red, and he smiled a shy one. Thomas grinned, too, and they both ate in quiet celebration of their union and bond.

After dinner, Ryan cleaned up the dishes while Thomas retrieved the pelt and continued to work on it at the table. Ryan slid his chair around to the same side of the table as Thomas and sat down next to him with a book in his hand and read aloud. Thomas’s cheeks began to hurt as he worked.

“It’s just like we always dreamed it would be,” Thomas whispered and then wiped at his face.

“Without the zoo,” Ryan teased and kissed Thomas on the cheek, and Thomas laughed. Loud and happy and so very alive.

“It won’t be like that every time,” Thomas said and glanced over.

“I know. I’m glad.” Ryan rubbed a thumb over Thomas’s neck where the gland had appeared. “That was a little freakier than what you described.”

Thomas tilted his head, thinking, then said, “I thought I’d have more time to explain it all. If you weren’t my mate, I could have just bitten you.”

“Leave it to me to make things difficult and complicated,” Ryan joked.

“So complicated.” Thomas gave Ryan a mischievous grin before lifting his eyebrows. “It’s even more complicated when the Wolf tops.”

Ryan quirked a brow back. “Well—” He motioned to his rabbit skin. “What am I supposed to give you?”

“Forever.”

“I gave you that a long time ago,” Ryan easily admitted.

“It is certain.” Thomas sobered, and then his lip quivered. “It finally came true.”

Ryan laid down his book and hugged Thomas, and they both had a good cry.

After pulling it together, Ryan let out a long Ryan sigh and picked up his book. Thomas continued to scrape the hide clean and soften the underside.

“So, no neck licking and Wolfy venom next time?”

“It’s not venom,” Thomas said.

“It’s totally venom. It was like a drug, and venom sounds way cooler than your DNA juice. Or is it like spunk?”

Thomas just looked up at the ceiling, accepting an old familiar defeat. “Fine. Wolf venom.”

Wolf venom, Wolf repeated.

“See, he likes that better too,” Ryan said victoriously. “It’s like a threesome.”

“Is not, and it would be a foursome,” Thomas said. “You, me, my Wolf, your Wolf—that’s four.”

“Wait, my Wolf is you, and your Wolf is me.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yes, Ryan. However it makes sense in your possessive head.”

“No, I know. I’m just saying when I think my Wolf, to me, that is you. Not me.”

Thomas gave Ryan a knowing look and smirked at him.

“We need badass names for our Wolves.”

“We need another bath,” Thomas said, attempting to change the subject but already knew it was a lost cause.

“No way. I smell like you and Wolf venom.” Ryan sniffed himself.

“Gross.” Thomas made a face. “I just washed the sheets.”

“We already sound married,” Ryan teased, seeming pleased. He got up and went to lock everything up and shut things down for the day. He stood at the window, looking out across the now deeper snow for a long moment, running his fingertip over the smooth crystals and tapping them and the star to make them sway slightly.

“Are you okay?” Thomas asked.

Ryan rubbed at his neck where he’d been bitten. “Do I get to bite you now?”

“No, it doesn’t work like that.”

Ryan tapped the star again. “Did you want to…” Ryan sighed, closed his eyes, and sent Thomas a mental picture of what he could not say.

“Only if you want that. I like it the way we did it,” Thomas admitted.

Ryan resorted to his shy and quiet side. After a while, he finally whispered what he was struggling to say. “You can have me, if you ever want it.”

“I know.”

After Thomas pointed to the bath with a firm finger, they rinsed off again, and Ryan wore the face of a man with a plan. In bed, Ryan pulled Thomas over him, kissed him, and showed them his favorite memories of Thomas and how much he loved him through their link.

When they were finally ready to sleep, Ryan let out a heavy and exaggerated sigh.

“What?” Thomas asked.

“Oh, nothing.” But Ryan’s body shook silently as he tried to hold in his amusement.

“The bed is shaking. What’s so funny?”

“Sure wish I had a soft furry pillow cover to rest my…” Ryan snorted as Thomas elbowed him. “Hey, can we have rings?”

“No, they’d fall off when we shifted,” Thomas said. “But one day, we could get tattoo rings.”

“Tattoo rings,” Ryan repeated with awe. “You know what I want?”

“What?” Thomas sighed but was secretly pleased over Ryan’s unusual chattiness.

“Remember back in juvie how you would lip-sync and do those little performances, but you’d really sing the song?” Ryan was still making the bed shake as he fought to hold it in.

“God, don’t remind me. I only did that in front of you.”

“Yeah, but remember the Great White song you used to do?”

“You know you suck at jokes.” Thomas already knew where this was going.

“Sing it for me. It’s perfect.” Ryan gripped his side, squeezing. “And it’s in my head now.”

“Stop thinking about it. Is that how I looked to you back then?” Thomas winced. “I’m never singing that song again.”