Chapter Nineteen

We can do whatever we want.

—Venom

 

THOMAS WOKE UP the next morning to an unexpected new development—Ryan’s curious and slightly braver hand tracing down the line of hair on his lower stomach. Thomas watched the nervous fingers as they inched lower and then drifted back up. His morning wood was clearly up for the challenge, tenting the sheet. With a wicked expression, he stretched and used his foot to pull the sheet down an inch or so, glancing at Ryan and then at his good-morning salute.

Ryan sighed.

“Fine,” Thomas acquiesced and then closed his eyes. “So shy.”

“Shh,” Ryan scolded.

Thomas rolled to his side, away from Ryan, but canted his hips for easy access and waited. Ryan’s hand slid over his hip and eased down the front of his thigh as Thomas tried to keep his breathing even. When the first finger slid through his fine hair and trailed up from his base to his tip, Thomas couldn’t help his inhale or his body’s response to the light touch. Ryan remained so curious but afraid still, with so many reservations, even after their bonding.

Granted, they’d skipped a few steps, and Thomas relaxed, deciding to give Ryan all the time he needed to find his comfort level. That lone finger traced around his crown, and the bed shifted behind him as Ryan scooted in closer, nestling his own reaction against Thomas’s backside as his hand grew braver.

Light fingers wrapped around Thomas as a thumb grazed across the tip. Thomas began to pant and focused on Ryan’s every move. It was an excruciating but pleasureful experience, this first-ever hand job. Even during their bonding, Thomas had jerked himself to release. But he was pleased with this new move on Ryan’s part, this self-initiation in exploring Thomas’s body without any encouragement or influence.

He would enjoy every second of this milestone as that strong hand added pressure and released, as it slid up and squeezed the slick swirl again and then made a long stroke down and back up again. Thomas could only tell himself to stay still, frozen, and let this happen at Ryan’s pace. But God, he wanted to know what Ryan wanted, what he was thinking. Thomas didn’t intrude into Ryan’s thoughts, not like this. He grabbed patience hard and held his breath through it as Ryan’s hand continued its torture.

Thomas whimpered when the hand disappeared but groaned when it returned to him, slickened and palm-wet. Thomas couldn’t control the pleasure sound that slipped out as he moaned and his hips thrust forward in response.

“Yes?” Ryan whispered as his hand moved at a rhythmic pace, jacking Thomas perfectly.

“Yes.” Thomas pressed his ass against the hard length behind him.

Ryan’s hot breath and slow hip grind told Thomas that had been a good move. But the hand disappeared again, and Thomas hissed a little as a cold shock dribbled between them.

“Better idea,” Thomas agreed and relaxed again as Ryan slicked himself and slid back between where he had been.

Ryan’s hand returned to stroke Thomas’s length and the slow slide between his cheeks. Thomas shivered at the two sensations, wanting Ryan to push inside him but not wanting him to, more wanting him to take his time in his brave discoveries of Thomas’s body. Something Ryan had never been able to surpass before. Things were changing between them. The intimacy was growing, and Thomas enjoyed that shy hand getting braver as sweet lips kissed down the length of his shoulder and up higher to his neck.

“I always wanted to touch you like this,” Ryan whispered softly in his ear.

Thomas felt Ryan’s chin on his shoulder as, together, they watched Ryan’s hand move with more confidence. Thomas trembled with lust as the hand moved a little faster and the hips behind him rocked with a steadier pace.

Thomas was so close, a wet and gasping mess as he encouraged the movement, his own hips in time with Ryan’s. He wanted him inside, but Thomas bit his lip; this was Ryan’s moment playing out, and Thomas wouldn’t take for granted what a huge step this was for Ryan’s confidence.

“Thomas,” Ryan breathed hard and warned.

“I’m right there with you,” Thomas panted back, and the pace increased as the shared lust for their releases took over. Ryan pumped harder and faster, pulling an easy end from Thomas as Ryan tensed and his heat shot up Thomas’s lower back.

Ryan released him with a kiss on Thomas’s shoulder, and his big body moved from behind him. Thomas closed his eyes as Ryan left the room, recovering until Ryan returned. Ryan cleaned Thomas’s body, then went back to the bathroom to do the same.

“You can wake me up like that every morning,” Thomas said as he stretched, and Ryan chuckled from the bathroom. “Or with your mouth, or however you want, really.”

“Same,” Ryan said from the other room. “I’d never say no to you.”

Thomas yawned, happy over their new progress. He sat up. “You want coffee?”

“Always,” Ryan called back, and Thomas pulled on a pair of pajama pants and headed to the kitchen in a wonderful mood.

*

THEY SPENT THE rest of the day unpacking the numerous old wooden storage crates. Thomas’s great mood was long gone after organizing large game traps by size and taking inventory. He was stressed and angry that they were facing such things and considering resorting to such horrific measures. Thomas held one of the older iron traps in his hand and shook his head at the cruelty of it. He explained to Ryan what iron would do to both of them, to Wolves. Wolves were highly susceptible to iron poisoning, and Thomas cautioned Ryan as they handled the oldest traps.

Eventually, Ryan led him out of the basement by the hand and hauled him to the bedroom.

“What are we doing?” Thomas muttered.

“You’ll see,” Ryan said and pointed to the bed. He pulled Thomas’s shirt off and then his own.

Thomas caught on, shucked his shoes and jeans, and slid across the bed. He eyed Ryan as his pants hit the floor, and he moved onto the bed, crawling over Thomas.

“I want to try something,” Ryan said as he slid downward to rest his chin on Thomas’s stomach.

Thomas squinted at him. “You’ve never done this before either,” Thomas whispered and didn’t hide his shock at Ryan’s curiosity and continued eagerness to again try something new.

“I know, but you’re my mate now, and I want to. This should be our honeymoon or something like that, and instead, we’re preparing for war.” Ryan kissed Thomas’s skin, looked up at him, and mumbled, “I think I’m, well, we’re getting better at this stuff.”

Thomas laughed his agreement and leaned back on the pillows. Ryan licked his lips and smiled as Thomas’s arousal grew.

“Stop teasing me,” Thomas breathed. “This morning was hell.”

“I’m not teasing you; I’m just nervous. I’ve never done any of this before,” Ryan said as he moved between Thomas’s legs. Thomas took in the new show as Ryan lowered his mouth, and Thomas shivered at the first tentative swipe of Ryan’s tongue.

“I don’t think you can do it wrong,” Thomas said with a hint of desperation in his tone.

“Remember how you used to tease me?” Ryan whispered and used his tongue to remind Thomas what he used to do to him.

“I was an evil shit back then,” Thomas panted. “I’m your sweet loving mate now.”

“Mm…” Ryan teased him again with his mouth. “You are, but do you know how many times I fantasized about what you used to do to me?” Ryan moved his other hand lower.

Thomas whined as Ryan used his mouth and fingers on every part of Thomas’s body. It was slow, exploratory, and curious as Ryan torturously took his time familiarizing himself with every inch of the more intimate aspects of Thomas’s body. Ryan’s old apprehensions seemed to disappear steadily over the course of the morning, and Thomas wasn’t complaining one bit. He loved this new side of Ryan, this change he was witnessing. Or, Thomas knew it had always been there but just so repressed beneath Ryan’s own fears.

“You’re doing so good,” Thomas encouraged.

Ryan used his fingers to touch, stroke, and squeeze, and his mouth would follow, kissing, swiping, and sucking as he moved across Thomas’s skin, giving every part of Thomas’s anatomy equal and devoted attention. It was driving Thomas crazy as Ryan figured things out.

Thomas didn’t want to rush Ryan but finally admitted, “I’m not going to last.”

“I don’t want you to,” Ryan said. “I want to watch you. I never could see this before, in the dark beneath the blanket. I want to see it again and again. This morning wasn’t enough.” And that was exactly what Ryan did, stroked Thomas with more determination as his finger explored inside him.

“Right there,” Thomas practically begged as Ryan tortured the magical place within him.

Thomas’s body trembled with pleasure and tensed as Ryan finally got to see Thomas’s body do just what he’d always wanted it to.

“I’m not done with you yet.” Ryan rose to his knees. “Put your hands on the headboard, Thomas.” He sucked Thomas’s nipple into his mouth, then switched back and forth between the two, tormenting Thomas and himself with the teasing. All the while, that single finger was no longer alone. Thomas breathed out at the look in Ryan’s eye and the evident need extending from his groin.

“Is that for me?” Thomas asked as he gazed down at Ryan’s arousal.

“Yes, I want to do this every day,” Ryan said, pushing at Thomas’s knee.

Thomas released the headboard and grabbed both of his knees.

“Is this where you want to be?” Thomas whispered.

“Yes,” Ryan whispered. “Inside you again. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Do it,” Thomas encouraged, and Ryan removed his fingers and carefully replaced them. Thomas’s eyes locked on Ryan, whose own eyes closed at the sensation of Ryan entering him, inch by inch. Ryan’s upper body shivered as gooseflesh spread, and his tense fingers eased on the backs of Thomas’s thighs where he’d been gripping them.

“I…” Ryan started and waited as Thomas’s body to relaxed around him. “My God, I can’t even describe this.”

“Move, Ryan,” Thomas whispered, as Ryan stared at where they were wholly joined. Ryan bit his lip and glanced up at Thomas, who nodded encouragingly. “Trust me, it feels that good for me too.”

“I want to do it like this—this time,” Ryan whispered as he continued at a deliberately slow pace. Ryan used his hand to cup and fondle, then stroke and trace the sensitive skin around his girth. Thomas knew Ryan wanted to see and touch everything he’d never been able to before.

It was a slow torture for Thomas as Ryan learned him even more intimately, everything on such bright display, but Thomas felt no insecurity. There was nothing to hide anymore.

“I love you, Thomas,” Ryan said. “And I love this part of you, being a part of you.” He lowered himself over Thomas’s chest and kissed him.

The kiss was as slow as Ryan’s easy rocking below, unrushed and relaxed lovemaking, and Thomas’s eyes stung as their mouths continued. Thomas released his grip on his knees and slid his arms around Ryan, enjoying the gentleness of this moment. Thomas knew racing heat would overcome this tender emotion and wanted to hang on to this pace longer. Ryan was so careful with him, and Thomas loved Ryan so profoundly. He pulled his mouth away and sucked in a breath.

“I love you too,” Thomas said as Ryan reached up and brushed his thumb underneath Thomas’s eye. “We have this forever,” Thomas whispered, and Ryan nodded.

Later, as they lay beside each other, enjoying the laziness of their recovery, Ryan shocked Thomas once again.

“Remember the bra. I miss the bra,” Ryan said without skipping a beat.

Thomas grinned. “You do?”

Ryan nodded.

Thomas frowned. “Well?”

Ryan chewed on his lip, “I want to fuck you with a bra on.”

Thomas turned his head to Ryan, shocked. “Really?”

Ryan only nodded, with his cheeks on fire.

“You’re embarrassed; just show me, then,” Thomas said. “No judgment between us. And besides, your brand of kinky has always been more sweet than sinful. You show me in my mind so I can see what you imagined.”

Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. Thomas watched him concentrating, then closed his eyes and opened his mind. Ryan was picturing one of his deepest and most secret fantasies about Thomas.

“Oh, Ryan,” Thomas whispered, sliding his arms around him as his eyes filled with tears. “Yes, and God, I love you so much. And I love how you love all of me.”

“So that is alright?” Ryan asked and wiped the tears from Thomas’s face.

“It’s so right. Soon, love. We’ll make that fantasy of yours and mine so real.”

And how Ryan smiled.