Chapter 9: Conditions, Covenants, and Restrictions (CC&Rs)

“Wake up, Lilli.”

It was quietly said, but there was steel behind it.

Her eyes fluttered open and looked around for him. Finn was standing by the side of the bed. Fully dressed.

Lilli sat up, confused, diverting her eyes from him. Had she presumed too much—making herself at home in his bed. It was fuzzy. Perhaps she was supposed to go home afterward, but he had put her there.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get dressed and—”

“Your training begins now.”

Delicious awareness penetrated the fog in her brain. Raising her eyes, she met his gaze. However, for reasons Lilli couldn’t comprehend, it seemed bold, presumptuous even, to look him square in the face. Things were different now—he was different. Before there had been hints of his mastery, but now Finn wore an air of complete supremacy. He must have been holding back, even when they made love.

It wasn’t as if Finn were doing anything. He stood there, staring her down. Unable to stop herself, Lilli dropped her gaze…and waited timidly.

Finn sighed, and still she waited.

He reached out a finger and raised her face to look at him. “Is this too much?”

Finn was giving her an out. She could stop this now, and they would probably go on as earlier, somewhere between vanilla and kink. It had been amazing, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted all of him.

“Finn, I want you to be yourself, not try to be something you aren’t. It’s the only way this will work…the only way we will work.”

He stared at her, indecision clear on his face—give in to his true nature and risk losing her. Or not, and lose her anyway…eventually. It was his turn now to be brave—she couldn’t do it for him.

At last, Finn nodded decisively. “So it begins.” He stepped back from the bed. “Get on the floor and kneel before me.”

She scrambled to do what Finn asked as he continued with his instructions, telling her how to sit—on her heels, knees spread apart baring herself to him, palms upward resting on her thighs, face passive and tilted down. She blushed, and her nipples peaked, knowing he was dressed and she was naked and so very exposed.

With some effort, Lilli maneuvered into this foreign posture. It seemed odd, offering herself in this way—a humble female to a superior male. It was just this side of humiliating, which she guessed was the point. Lilli snorted. She was rapidly becoming everything she had fought against with her family—placing herself below a man, both figuratively and literally.

He walked slowly around her, and anticipatory excitement flooded her, a strange surge of cravings curling in her belly and elsewhere. Could it really be wrong if it felt so right?

When Finn was sure she was settled and waiting, he continued her training. “I am a top, and you are a bottom. Do you know what that means?”

She nodded, so shaken by sudden indecision Lilli didn’t trust her voice.

“I want you to understand exactly what it means…to me. Here in this room, but only when it’s in dungeon form, I am in charge, I am your Dom, and you are my submissive. You will address me as Sir.”

“What about me? What will you call me?”

“Anything I want, but I like the sound of Miss Lilli. Regardless, whatever instructions I give you, you commit to memory.”

“Okay.”

“Miss Lilli!”

Her mouth dropped open. “I mean… Okay, Sir.”

“More rules. You may only speak when given permission. And your best choice for answers are ‘Yes, Sir’ and ‘No, Sir.’ Well, really, it should always be ‘Yes, Sir,’ because your sole reason for being is to please me. Your pleasure is…secondary.”

She’d known this—done the research—but hearing Finn say it aloud was somehow more shocking. It sounded so kinky, and it reminded her yet again that she was abandoning everything she’d thought she believed about equality among partners.

“Regardless of what you might have heard about D/s relationships, I’m too possessive to share you. You’ll serve only me.”

Well, that’s something at least. She hadn’t even considered the possibility he might loan her to strangers. Lilli trembled at what else she had not considered, the vibrating shudder traveling up her ramrod-straight spine.

“I will train you carefully. Teach you all the ways to please me. I will not tolerate disobedience or hesitation when I tell you to do something. Discipline will be swift, so that you learn quickly. I don’t like to leave marks, so you’ll mostly feel the sting of a flogger or paddle, rarely anything stronger. Sometimes, I’ll spank you because it turns me on. If I discover, as I believe I will, that it also turns you on…then there will be lots of spankings. We shall see.”

Lilli gasped. She started to stand in protest, unthinking, but stopped herself, barely. She wanted to see this through, learn if this was what she truly craved.

Finn ignored her indecisive behavior. “And there are other ways to discipline a naughty sub.”

Lilli began to shake, both frightened and aroused. Quivering uncontrollably, she could hardly hold the pose. She burst out, “Wait. What about a safe word?”

Finn laughed. “You’ve been researching, I see. Okay, pick one out.”

“Um.” She wasn’t sure. It was all so new, and her thoughts were jumbled. She couldn’t think straight.

“Miss Lilli, I gave you a choice, but if you’re incapable of making the simplest of decisions…that will make our time together quite simple as I will make all your decisions.”

“How about…stop?”

“Such a sweet novice. You’ll soon find that pleading with me to stop or crying ‘no’ is part of the play. It must be something you won’t cry out in the heat of the moment.”

“Oh. I get it.” She concentrated on what to suggest. “How about nein danke. It’s the only thing I remember from high school German.”

“Very good. It has nice symmetry…thanking me and saying no at the same time. I’m pleased.” He patted her head like a good puppy.

Happiness bathed her at his praise even as shock jolted at his condescending manner.

“However, I’m less pleased about you speaking without permission. In the future, you’ll wait. Understood?”

Lilli was perplexed…about herself. How could she be wildly aroused and completely indignant at the same time? Why was she accepting such degrading use? It was beyond belief—and yet here she sat docilely waiting on him, on knees which were starting to ache.

“Miss Lilli!”

“What?” His harsh tone brought her out of her head. “I mean, yes, I understand.”

“Yes…what?”

Her mind blanked. What does he want? Oh right, the ‘Sir’ thing.

“Yes, your royal highness…Sir.”

Finn laughed merrily. Lilli didn’t know what she’d expected, but not laughter.

“We’re going to have such fun.” He patted her head again. “Well, I’m going to, anyway. I particularly enjoy training recalcitrant subs. So many more opportunities for…correction. And I can see you’re going to need lots of correction.”

Lilli went from perplexed to flabbergasted—again at herself. Everything Finn said should make her feminist side outraged. Instead, she yearned to experience a little of the mythical punishment he kept harping on about.

She should get up off her damn knees and leave this instant, her conscience screamed, but her body wasn’t listening. Her nipples were tight aching buds and lower… Could Finn tell she was thoroughly, achingly wet down there?

He stood there quietly, at ease, but Lilli could feel his powerful presence like a controlling force surrounding her. She chanced a glance up at him. He stared intently at her body, his eyes taking in her extended nipples and traveling lower to stare between her spread thighs. A sinful leer quirked the corners of his lips.

I guess he knows. Lilli blushed, the heat spreading outward from her sternum. It was mortifying to be so horny, a regular bitch in heat, while Finn stood there clothed, domineering, and apparently unmoved.

It irked as well.

“Am I going to sit here all night? I’m still waiting for all that training you keep going on about.” Dying to know if she’d hit her mark, Lilli peered at him through her lashes. His smile was gone, replaced by a frown.

Score one for the newbie. She tried unsuccessfully to suppress a grin.

“Miss Lilli,” he said with deceptive calm. “You must learn to show proper respect at all times. Eyes down and silent. Since I’ve already warned you, you’ve earned punishment.”

“Promises, promises,” she goaded. Lilli wanted any reaction she could get from him and threw his earlier declaration back in his face. “I want everything you’re willing to give me…but so far that ain’t much.”

Silence followed.

Eyes downcast, Lilli debated peeking again. Thinking perhaps she’d gone too far, she giggled nervously.

Still nothing.

Unable able to stand it, she chanced a glance up without raising her face. He was staring straight at her. Waiting to pounce.

Finn shook his head at her, a silent reprimand. He stepped forward and took hold of her arms. With surprising strength, he lifted her straight up to her feet. She wobbled, shaky after kneeling—and from her growing unease—and he seemed to realize it. He supported her weight and turned without a word to walk her toward the equipment.

Lilli pulled back, her anxiety growing exponentially. Had she believed for one second she wanted to be strapped down and paddled? Well, she didn’t want it anymore. She dug in her heels, but Finn walked on, pulling her inexorably toward the spanking bench.

Still not uttering a word, he indicated with his hand for Lilli to climb onto it. And the perverse part of her that was curious, that craved this mysterious thing, made her comply.

Finn guided her down and positioned her so she was bent in a posture, which could best be described as kneeling on a chair…a padded one with restraints. As she lay there, he buckled her down.

Quickly, Lilli found herself strapped to the bench, her belly resting on a shelf, knees resting on kneelers, and her thighs pulled apart. It felt good, sort of soothing. Familiar. Unable to pull her legs together, her pussy was disconcertingly exposed, cool air wafting over her moist skin. But it also felt nice. Erotic. And right.

Lilli tested the bounds and discovered she was not quite immobilized, there was enough leeway to raise her buttocks an inch or so. To lift her chest. The serenity evaporated. She began to push and tug, twist and turn. Something wasn’t right, unease sawing at the edges of her soul.

“More,” she wailed. It could have been the cry of an animal caught in a trap.

“What’s wrong?” Finn worked frantically to unbuckle her.

“No, don’t. I want it tighter.”

Finn’s hands stopped, resting on the ankle cuff he’d been unbuckling. “I want to make sure I understand. Are you asking me to make the straps tighter, so that you can’t move at all?”

Was she?

Lilli shut her eyes and reached out to her limbs, to her ribs and waist, trying to sense what she needed, what would bring back the serenity.

“Yes, I think I do. I want you to strap me so tight that I can’t move at all. If you don’t mind, Sir.”

She lowered down and waited.

Finn’s answer was to start methodically tightening each strap, moving each buckle one or two notches in, but always testing that they weren’t cutting off her circulation. When he was done, he put his hand on her hair and trailed his fingers down her back, leaving a wake of pleasure.

“Thank you, Sir.”

“I will want to explore this need of yours in the future, but for now I’ll just order you to use your safe word if at any time you feel panic.”

“Yes, Sir.” She didn’t feel panic anymore. Compression was an old friend. She had never understood her need for pressure, for secure restraint, but it soothed and strangely freed her to enjoy this kinky experience.

“Sub, you were disrespectful earlier, and you know it.”

Filled with anticipation, Lilli started to pant in short gasps. She no longer had a choice, anyway, unless she used her safe word. But no matter what he’d ordered, she didn’t want to disappoint Finn in their first bondage experience.

He was standing behind her, and she twisted about to see him.

“Eyes forward or I’ll blindfold you.”

Lilli whipped her face forward, resting her chin on the padded bench. She could hear him moving to the wall where all the implements of pain hung.

As he walked back, Finn continued, his dark timbre almost lustful, definitely determined. “Far worse than a thoughtless blunder, you did it on purpose, wanting to get a rise out of me. You succeeded. And now I’ll have the pleasure of getting a rise out of you.”

Whap!

Without warning Finn swatted her with a paddle. It hurt, but she could handle it.

Whap. Whap. He swatted her two more times.

“Oomph,” Lilli grunted. It was starting to smart.

Then he stopped.

Lilli was relieved. That wasn’t so bad.

“We call this the warm-up, something to get your attention before the actual discipline.”

Startled, she tried to rise, forgetting it was impossible.

“I’m going to give you ten more. I want you to count them so I know you are aware of every single one. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied, too alarmed for more back talk.

Smack.

“Ouch!” she cried. Finn had spanked her right cheek with a lot more force than before. It burned.

He paused. “Do I need to start over?”

“One,” she yelled, remembering.

Smack.

Pause.

“Two.” Her left cheek now burned.

Smack.

“Three.”

Her ass quickly turned into a fiery, throbbing jumble. With each successive strike, it hurt exponentially worse. She panted, twitched, and writhed, perversely angling her buttocks higher in the process.

“Such a delectable arse you have,” he mumbled, his posh English accent shifting to something earthier, more common. His bare hand patted her heated flesh.

Lilli slammed her pelvis back down as far away as she could get it. Finn chuckled.

At six, she yelled, “Stop.” He didn’t.

Wailing, “Eight,” she almost gave up the safe word, barely clenching her teeth in time.

Only two more—she could manage.

Smack.

Only one more—Lilli wouldn’t let herself give in now.

Smack.

“Ten,” she wheezed, head sagging onto the bench.

Panting, she lay there worn out. Lilli shut her eyes and let herself feel. Her ass was on fire, but unmistakably there was another part of her that burned incessantly, too. It seemed inconceivable, but she was filled with lust—nipples tight, pussy throbbing. Every inch of her body was alive and tingling and wanting.

His cool lips touched her heated ass, trailing little tingling kisses. His hand slid between her thighs, several fingers gliding up inside her. She moaned loudly. It was so good, and she trembled around his hand.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned, his breath wafting across her hot skin. “I was right…you like it. Pain arouses you.” He sounded thrilled.

Lilli rebelled against admitting she’d enjoyed being spanked like a little girl—well, not like any childhood spanking she’d ever had, but still it was demeaning. “No, I didn’t, not really,” she snapped.

“Miss Lilli!”

Instantly, she regretted lying. Over her shoulder, Lilli saw him reach for the paddle. “Okay, yes,” she cried. “I liked it.”

“We need to be honest with each other, about everything. It’s important to me, and it’s particularly important in a D/s relationship. Understood?”

He was right, of course. Lilli sighed. “Yes, I guess.” Remembering again, she yelled, “Sir.”

His hand resumed fondling her pussy, the other soothing her buttocks.

She relaxed, spent, onto the bench, enjoying the play of his fingers on her body.

“Now, my sweet newbie, I sadly regret this, but I must discipline you some more for speaking out of turn and for lying.” His voice sounded anything but regretful.

Shocked he was going to wail on her some more, Lilli wrenched her head around to look at him and saw the evident glee in his smile. It was too much, and her ass already hurt like hell.

“Please. I hurt. It won’t happen again. Sir,” she intoned respectfully.

“I’m not going to spank you. There are other ways to bring you to heel.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Tsk, tsk.” Finn shook his head, giving the perfect appearance of sad regret. Lilli knew it was false.

“Little bird, there’s a reason for the no-talking rule. To keep you from getting into deeper trouble.”

Lilli snapped her mouth closed. She could always safe out, but she didn’t want to, and his fingers massaging her throbbing pussy felt amazing. She moaned and relaxed into his hand. Finn caressed and teased her, stroking her inner thigh with his other hand and dropping kisses on her back.

“More please,” Lilli said, remembering that was okay.

Finn increased his speed, and the friction brought her over-sensitized body to the brink quickly. She moaned and squirmed at the building pleasure. She was just short of climaxing, and after all the wicked foreplay, she knew it would be huge, perhaps the biggest in her life.

“Yes, a little more.” Lilli panted and wiggled and moaned.

Finn laughed, delighted. He pulled his hands from her body and stepped back.

What the fuck? Lilli waited and glanced over her shoulder to see what was up.

Finn winked at her. She opened her mouth to complain, but slammed it shut. Not going down that road again.

She begged with her eyes.

Finn returned a somber, serious look, only the mischievous twinkle in his eyes giving him away. “Remember, I said there were other ways to punish misbehavior.”

This is punishment? Lilli questioned silently. This amazing foreplay. I’ll be a bad girl every day if it’ll get me this.

Looking relaxed, Finn moved to a chair and sat, watching her intently.

Lilli deflated. Like a slow leak from a balloon, her breath slowed, and she calmed. From just this side of ecstasy, the orgasm slipped away. She pulled on her restraints, wriggled her body, searching for a way to bring the amazing sensation back. Then it was gone, only a dull throb remained.

Lilli whimpered.

Finn returned, loosened the strap around her waist, and tugged her pelvis up off the bench. Standing behind her, he lowered his face between her legs. His warm, wet tongue swiped across her pussy. She sighed in pleasure. He teased her clit and used his hands to caress her inner thighs. Lilli sought the swelling desire. With little effort, he had her right back at the excruciating pinnacle, desperately ready to explode.

“Oh please, oh please, oh please,” Lilli entreated. She was there, so close. The tingling, throbbing itch of an impending orgasm tickled her consciousness. Another second or two.

“Yes!” She shivered and moaned.

Finn sat back. She arched, her pussy searching for his delectable tongue, now beyond reach. She searched him with her eyes and saw Finn wipe her moisture from his face with the back of his hand.

He grinned. “You taste so good. I could do this all night.”

“Please come back, Sir.” She groaned.

He shrugged impishly.

She laid her head down in defeat, finally understanding. This was the punishment—the worst kind of salacious torture. Needing to come so badly she was half crazed, like a nympho on steroids. A human fucking machine, if he’d only fuck her.

He chuckled. “You are so beautiful when you beg. It makes me want to forget all about training you and fuck your brains out.”

“Yes, do it,” Lilli pleaded. “Do it!” she ordered.

“Sorry, my wonderful, sweet bird. I need to make sure you’ve learned your lesson…and your place.”

He picked up a bamboo fan and wafted it over her body. Cool air on heated flesh, but it also chilled her ardor. The amazing sensations drifting away, and Lilli couldn’t stop them. Once again, the impending climax vanished. Gone like it was never there.

She sobbed, a small hitching sound. I will go completely insane if he keeps doing this.

Never before in her life had Lilli craved an orgasm like she did right now. It was the single all-consuming need occupying her mind, crowding out rational thought or any remaining vestiges of feminism. She would’ve eagerly agreed unconditionally to anything he asked to get Finn to let her come.

And, just like that, his tongue was back, and he did it all over again, bringing her to the edge ever quicker.

“I’m sorry I tried to lie to you, Sir. I promise, I won’t ever do it again, but I need you to promise me the same thing. Promise never to lie to me.” She wondered how she had the nerve to make any demands while she lay helplessly tied up and frantic with lust.

“Thank you for the apology. Just a little white lie, I know, but you can’t do it. And I promise I’ll always be truthful, too, about everything.” Her sweet Dr. Jekyll was back…for now. She watched him reach for a condom. “Now I think I know a sub who needs to be fucked senseless.”

Lilli chuckled. “I’m already senseless. Keep going like that and I’ll be nothing but a pile of blubbering idiocy.”

“Yes, but you’ll be the sexiest blubbering idiot I’ve ever seen.”

She laughed and so did he.

“Lillian West, I’m now going to fuck you good.” She could hear his dominance reemerge. “But remember who’s in control. Don’t test me again or I’ll leave you here all night with a vibrator that stops whenever you get near popping.”

She quivered with edgy excitement. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde would both be in her life, both be her lover—playfully boyish one minute, all-controlling and dangerous the next. Her quiet little life, previously all work and familial rebellion, was now something wild, exotic, and thrilling.

Lilli waited as Finn stepped up behind her, placing himself between her spread legs. He gripped her hips with both hands and with a swift thrust entered her. He stopped and stood there quietly. Still so highly aroused, Lilli easily became desperate. She tried to pump him, but the restraints held her in place. She could move only an inch, and it wasn’t nearly enough.

Finn still didn’t move.

Lilli moaned, frustrated, giving her hips yet one more useless little jerk. Heedlessly she demanded, “Come on. Move…damn it!”

Finn chuckled. “You’re still trying to top from the bottom. Don’t. You won’t like what I’ll do in response.”

Lilli shivered…and moaned louder, her utter lack of control oddly erotic. She reveled in this newly discovered part of herself, the growing satisfaction she found in surrendering. It was both good and bad, because right at the moment she wished for the power to get Finn moving.

Finally, Finn pulled back, ever…so…very…slowly, until the tip of his cock remained inside her. Unhurriedly, he slid home again. Lilli marveled at his incredible restraint, when all she wanted was a fast pounding. She had seen his bulging erection as soon as she woke up. How could Finn move now with such apparent leisure when she needed him to race, to drive them both to the finish?

Lilli whimpered. She was beginning to understand begging wasn’t going to help. While he liked hearing her pleas, this time he demanded her complete obedience to his pleasure, however he chose to obtain it. But she still couldn’t understand how Finn could have such total mastery of his body, of his lust. Lilli had none.

Finn continued to slide in and out at a pace that would make a snail look like a racehorse. It was torture, the gentlest tickle on the raging ache between her legs. He pulled almost all the way out and paused while she trembled all over, her pussy clenching onto his shaft, begging with her body. Finn started to once again push back inside with a calm, controlled motion. Lilli wanted to scream.

Instead, she counted silently. One… Two… Three… Four… Five.

After a prolonged pause, he started pulling out with the same measured calm. It was maddening, and Lilli lost her head again. She jerked and juddered against the straps holding her.

“Please, Finn. I can’t take it any longer.”

“You can, sweet Lilli. And you will.” Finn moaned, the luxuriously full sound making clear how much he enjoyed the feel of her tight grip on his cock.

Her moans joined his but were different—full of unfulfilled passion. She itched and burned with the urgent need to climax, but it was out of reach. Just a little more speed. Just a little more friction, a little more of him, and she’d hurtle into rapture. It was the most delicious kind of torture.

“You are so incredibly gorgeous, so beautiful,” Finn murmured, beginning, finally, to sound strained.

Lilli took pleasure in his need, the knowledge that she wasn’t alone in this maelstrom of sensation. She wanted to reply but couldn’t manage words, too lost in her own tumult. The only sound was a pained whimper.

Finn laughed, deep and happy, and at long last he capitulated. “Okay, then.”

Immediately, he increased the friction, slamming madly into her and hauling out again in rapid succession. Grunting, Finn thrust into her ever faster and harder. Their loud panting groans and the wet sound of two bodies slapping together filled the room. Delightful sensation hurtled her forward. Within minutes, the clenching ache in her pussy, nurtured so wickedly by Finn, exploded, and she was hurtled into a delicious euphoria. Lilli writhed larger, trying to grasp every last flash of the mind-blowing pleasure. He bellowed, thrust once more, and joined her in ecstasy.

Breathing heavy, Finn collapsed onto her back, resting his head, while they both returned to some semblance of normalcy.

Lilli was euphoric. It was everything she’d hoped for, except for one thing. “My ass hurts,” she whined, then giggled.

Finn stood and eased out of her. He rained kisses on her lower back and moved lower to worship her still warm cheeks. Lilli glowed, inside and out, her skin tingling everywhere he touched, but it was her thoughts that shined brightest, radiating acceptance. She could be whatever she wanted. Independent career woman when she needed to be, and when she wished it, a sexual submissive. And it was okay.

“That was amazing,” she whispered.

Finn trailed gentle kisses up her spine. “I agree, but I’m sorry if I got carried away. It doesn’t always have to be so…crazy.”

“It was the best sex of my life. Really, the very best by a large margin, and also…my ass really hurts.”

“Next time, I’ll—”

“Don’t change a thing. I loved every minute of it.”

“Me, too.” Finn hugged her like he would never let her go.

He undid her restraints and carried Lilli to his bed. He settled her under the soft duvet and joined her, once again pulling her head onto his shoulder. Even as she drifted off to sleep, Lilli couldn’t stop smiling. What they’d done had been wild, kinky, but, oh, so very, very good.