SOFI
It was times like this that I wished Darja was still alive, if only so she could take over and drive the car. Because I could barely focus on the road. My hands were sweaty on the steering wheel, my mind racing a mile a minute. How could Stephen have been so stupid? How had I let myself trust him? What were we going to do?
I must have voiced this last question aloud, because Darja ceased her angry muttering from the passenger’s seat and answered me.
“We’re going to talk to Jared. We’re going to get the book back before it falls into the wrong hands and people start asking questions.” Her voice lowered to a growl. “And then we’re going to kill Stephen.”
I knew she was joking, but I didn’t laugh. I’d been such an idiot. I’d been so blinded by the excitement of the spell book, so carried away by the illusion of power and control that it had given me, something I’d never before felt in all my life, that I’d completely missed the bigger picture. I’d avoided Aggie’s warnings and Darja’s hesitance, and willfully ignored how dangerous all of this was. Instead of finding answers and solutions, our secrets just kept growing and compounding, and I was going to drown in them.
The dead girl in the seat next to me was crackling with magical energy, a real, physical presence that she could use to interact with the world around her, and I didn’t know how to wrap my head around that. And Stephen had lost the translated book. And something was happening between Darja and Aggie—I didn’t know what, and I was afraid to ask, afraid of everything around me moving so fast, afraid to lose her, the one person closer to me than anyone had been my whole life. And she was dead.
Hysterical laughter bubbled up inside of me and I choked on it, forcing it back even as we pulled into the parking lot at the municipal building and I realized I barely remembered a second of the drive over.
I killed the engine and turned to face Darja.
“Sofi,” she said, and the ferocity in her eyes grounded me slightly. “Pull your shit together. We have to get this book back.”
I nodded and took a deep breath, trying hard to get some semblance of control over my roiling emotions. Then I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and swung myself out of the car, hurrying toward the police station with Darja at my back.
Jared was there, talking with the receptionist, and at the sight of him my palms started to sweat, hysteria building once again. He must have seen something in my eyes because he quickly ended his conversation and ushered me to his dad’s office.
I shut the door behind me.
“Sofi, what—?”
“Did you take something from Stephen’s apartment? A book? A binder full of papers?”
His expression turned wary, and Darja stormed around the desk to stand next to Jared where I could see her. “A little finesse, maybe?” she said, and I forced myself not to look at her.
I sighed and dropped into a chair.
“I’m sorry. Stephen said something is missing from his apartment. It’s the translation of an old book. And I just thought, since you’d been watching him…”
Jared’s eyes were cautious. “You know I can’t go in there without a warrant. I was just…keeping an eye on him.”
Crap. It hadn’t occurred to me that I was accusing him of breaking the law. Even though that was obviously what he’d done. I needed to slow down and think.
“I’m sorry,” I said, working to erase any trace of impatience or accusation from my voice. “I didn’t mean to imply…it’s just that he came to me and said he’s missing a binder, and I know you were having him watched…I thought maybe you’d know where it went.”
The caution in his eyes melted into worry. “Sofi, why are you still hanging around with him? You promised me you wouldn’t go back there.”
“I haven’t been back to his apartment, I swear.”
It was technically true, but Jared’s expression made it clear he knew it wasn’t the whole truth.
“You promised you’d stay out of the investigation,” he said. “But I know he’s been to your house, and you’ve been spending time with him. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
A thread of guilt twisted in my gut. I had ulterior motives here, but that didn’t mean everyone did. Jared didn’t know what was really going on, and his words had a ring of truth. He really was worried about me. He was trying to protect me, and he didn’t understand why I kept getting involved.
I sighed, and my voice was small when I answered. “I’m sorry. I…I’m trying to keep out of it, I really am. It’s just, well, Stephen…and Mirtel, they’re my friends. I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, and I want to help.”
My blood heated with anger at the thought of sitting here, defending Stephen, when it was his fault we were here in the first place, but I tamped it down, and relaxed when Jared looked at me and smiled softly.
“Sofi, always rooting for the underdog. Darja was an underdog too, it seems. Is that why you want to help so much?”
Darja stiffened and shot a glare at Jared, but he just continued to look at me, oblivious, and I found myself smiling back at him.
After a long pause, he leaned closer. “Sofi, listen, I…” He glanced around, then lowered his voice. “I did take the binder from Stephen’s apartment.”
“Duh,” Darja put in, but I kept my gaze on Jared and my expression smooth, tamping down the thrill of excitement that he’d admitted it, and maybe we were one step closer to getting it back.
“I know I shouldn’t have gone in there,” he went on, “but it seemed like it might be important. I know you want to be friends with the guy, and you’re right, he probably isn’t involved with the missing girl, but you have to admit he’s too interested in the Vaikesti, and I thought maybe he’d stolen those papers.”
“What were they?” I asked.
“What did he say they were?” Jared asked.
Darja shot me a warning glance, but I just shrugged. “He said they were for a school project, and he was freaking out because he only had one copy.”
“Hm.” Jared leaned back. “That makes sense, I guess. I couldn’t tell what they were. It looked like a bunch of spells or something—”My heart flew into my throat, terror spiking through me, but he continued on,“—you know, like some New Age witchy bullshit. Maybe he’s going to try to raise the dead.” Jared laughed, and I chuckled weakly.
“Anyway, I was wrong; it wasn’t anything important. I was just going to put it back.”
Darja raised a meaningful eyebrow at me and I took a shaky breath. “I could take it, if you want. I could put it back, and then you wouldn’t get in trouble for…anything.”
Jared gave me a warm smile, like he really thought I was just looking out for him, and I felt that sense of guilt again. He really was a good guy. If I ever got out from under this mountain of lies and deception, maybe we really could go out to dinner together, like two normal people.
“That’s sweet, Sofi, but you don’t have to, I can—”
“I really don’t mind,” I said, in a tone I hoped was earnest and not impatient. “I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I repeated.
He hesitated again.
“Oh, come on,” Darja muttered angrily, and though he couldn’t hear her, his response seemed directed at her.
“All right. Let me go get it.”
He rose and crossed the room, and I breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed behind him.
“I didn’t think he was going to admit it,” Darja commented, and I nodded at her with wide eyes.
“I can’t believe he’s going to give it to me,” I said in a low voice. “We’ll have to destroy it, and make sure Stephen doesn’t have any other copies lying around.”
“I’m just glad it was this easy to get it back,” Darja said, moving around to my side of the desk. “I was half afraid—”
The words died on her lips as Jared came back through the door, and when I saw his expression, my pulse spiked.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s not there.” He kept his voice low and shut the door behind him.
“What?!” At another swift glance from Darja I moderated my tone. “It’s not where?”
“I hid it in the copy room, but it’s not where I left it. Someone must have found it.”
“Why would you have put it there? Wouldn’t you keep it in evidence or something?” I raised my eyebrows, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. This was so bad.
Jared stared at me like I was slow. “I didn’t have a warrant. I wasn’t supposed to be in there, let alone take anything; of course I had to hide it.”
Darja turned and slipped through the door, no doubt to poke around on her own.
“Well, did anyone else know it was here? You have to find it.” Without Darja’s calming presence, my control on my emotions was slipping, and I could hear the edge of panic in my voice.
“No one else knew it was there.” He tilted his head and eyed me oddly. “It’s not that big a deal, Sofi. I told you it wasn’t anything important. Why do you care so much?”
“I just…he said it was his only copy,” I said lamely. “He was really upset.”
“I’m sure it’ll turn up, and when it does I’ll put it back, okay? He’ll think he misplaced it or something.”
Jared kept talking, but I tuned him out, my brain frantically turning over the options. Someone else must have known. Had someone seen him take it? Did someone else know what it was? Had someone stolen it from Jared?
“Okay?” Jared was watching me expectantly.
“What?”
“I said I’ll see you again soon, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll find it, all right? Just take care of yourself, Sofi.”
I rose, still a little shell-shocked, and let him usher me out the door. Darja was waiting for me in the car.
“It’s not there,” she told me without preamble. “I looked everywhere I could; I don’t think he’s lying.”
“Of course he’s not lying,” I snapped. “Someone else must have taken it. But who? And why? Do you think someone knows what it is?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It must be someone who works there, right?”
I didn’t want to face Mirtel until we knew something, so I headed to my house instead. We turned the puzzle over, talking it through and getting nowhere, and by the time I reached the house we were on the verge of snapping at each other, nerves taut and fraying.
The house was silent as I stormed upstairs to my room, my skin buzzing with anger and frustration. Darja followed behind me on silent feet, but I half expected she would disappear at any second, off to seek out Aggie and do whatever it was they did together. It made my mood darken even further, and as I stalked down the hall I didn’t even hear the voices coming from inside my parents’ bedroom until Darja’s urgent, “Sofi,” stopped me in my tracks.
I turned to snap a question at her, but her expression pulled me up short, and only then did the hushed voices behind the door filter into my awareness.
“Dozens of them, maybe hundreds, spells for everything you could imagine.” It was my father’s voice, excitement clear in his words.
No.
I felt the blood drain from my face.
“But the Town Council has spell books,” said my mother, her voice muffled through the door, and I stepped closer, holding my breath. “The magic doesn’t work, you know that. How is this any different?”
I met Darja’s eyes, and I knew the shock there mirrored my own. How had this happened?
But my father continued on, oblivious to our silent presence outside the door. “It is different,” he insisted, and my gut churned with acid. “These spells work.”