Daisy
We hadn’t broken up. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. No, we hadn’t ended our relationship, but something had changed.
Everything was a little more awkward now, and I didn’t understand why. It wasn’t as if we had ended things, or never saw one another. We had. I worked with him every day. And though he was out on calls with Kingston and Kane, and I was working with Gus and Ford more often than not, we still saw each other in the office. We still brushed hands when we walked to each other’s cars.
It had been a busy week, with multiple alarms going off at different warehouses we were in charge of security for. It had been a week of us trying to catch up with teens or burglars or someone trying to case places. They had all turned out to be false alarms, which was annoying to no end, but we were working our asses off. Though it wasn’t just us. There seemed to be a rash of fake alarms. Just that morning I had been awoken to do a four-a.m. walkthrough because one of our priority clients had their entire alarm set off. The authorities arrived and didn’t see anything, the cameras hadn’t caught anything, so I did a walkthrough.
I was exhausted, desperately in need of the coffee in my hands, but I still couldn’t help but think about how awkward things were with Hugh.
There hadn’t been time for Hugh and me to have dinner, or see each other, or do anything more than talk briefly at work. He had a school play, parent teacher conferences with Lucy, as well as countless other things. He was a father first, and we knew that. That was his priority when we had decided to see each other. And I loved that, because he was doing the same thing my father had done for me. He had put his all into protecting his child, to being there for his child. So of course, I was going to make sure that Hugh always did that for Lucy.
But we still hadn’t had the talk about what we wanted from each other. What would happen.
I hadn’t told him I loved him. Maybe if I had, things would’ve been different, but it still felt so weird.
“You’re in your head. Do you want to talk about it?”
I looked up as Aria sipped her coffee and stared at me. Sebastian’s twin had the Montgomery blue eyes and a beautiful smile. I missed working with her every day, but she was so much better where she was now than she had been with us. I hated not seeing her every day, but she was working too many hours in a job she loved. That meant we didn’t get to catch up as much as we wanted.
“I’m fine. Just drinking coffee. Early morning, as I told you.”
It wasn’t quite a lie. I was exhausted, but I hadn’t told anyone about my feelings for Hugh—I had barely even admitted those feelings to myself.
I wasn’t sure I was ready to put it out into the universe like that.
But knowing Aria, I wasn’t sure I had a choice.
“I am headed next door to the art shop to talk with another one of our cousins. But before I do that, I’m going to get the truth out of you.”
“What truth? I’m just tired.”
“There’s something in your eyes. What’s going on with you and Hugh? You guys looked great at the wedding and the engagement party. I was surprised you brought him to both.”
I winced and sipped my lifeline, the coffee cool but exactly what I needed in this moment.
“I know you don’t want to talk about him, but he’s not here right now and all the customers in here are paying attention to their phones and aren’t related to us or the companies. Greer and Raven aren’t even behind the counter, as one of them is on their honeymoon and the other has the day off. It’s just us. Nobody can hear but me. Talk to me.”
I pressed my lips together before I sighed. “I’m afraid he wants to break up with me because it’s too complicated.” I set the cup down. “Which I wouldn’t blame him for. We are complicated. I’m his boss and yet not his boss at the same time. He’s slowly integrating himself into our friends and family, and because he’s new here, I’m not sure he even has friends outside of our group. So if he breaks up with me, he’s going to lose that as well. And Lucy? She and Nora are best friends. We’re never going to be able to separate them. So no matter what I do, he will always be there. If he wants to end it, if he needs to end it, it’s not an actual ending. It’s just me not being able to be with him anymore, but still being forced to always be with him. I knew that this could happen. We had even said it would be awkward but we were going to try anyway because we were adults and we could handle this. But I sure as hell don’t feel like an adult right now. I just feel so tired and as if I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop or waiting for everything to end.”
Aria looked at me and shook her head, smiling sadly. “You love him. You really love him. It’s not just attraction, you’re in love with him. Big L and everything.”
I looked around, as if someone were listening in, but they weren’t. “Yes, okay. I’m in love with him. I have no idea how it happened, because I was telling myself we were good at just being with each other and not letting things get too crazy, and suddenly I’m thinking about him far too much, and we’re working well together, we hang out well together, I love hanging out with his kid. Seriously, Lucy is such a delight. And I know that I’m not her mom. She does not need me like that.”
“Are you sure about that?” Aria interrupted and I shook my head.
“I can’t even let myself think things like that because if I do, it hurts my stomach. I don’t know anything other than I’m nervous. I don’t want to lose him. I love him. And I’m so afraid that if I tell him, it’s going to ruin everything. I’m also afraid that if I don’t tell him, I’m just lying to myself. I’ve never been in this situation before. I have watched so many of our family members and friends fall in love, and seen how easy and hard it is all at once, and not once did I actually ever think that I would be in this situation.”
“I thought you and Crew…” She shook her head. “I thought you were each other’s.”
I shook my head. “No. Crew and I liked each other, but we realized quickly that we were better as friends. I mean the sex was great. I can’t lie. We had great chemistry, but you’re allowed to have that without wanting something more. And he and Hugh are starting to become friends too. See? It’s a tangled web.”
“And you are in the center of that web. You owe it to yourself to tell him what you feel. I know that’s saying a lot for someone who’s never actually been in love. But you deserve happiness. You both do. Lucy does too.”
“And if I tell him I love him, that means it’s all happy ever after and suddenly I’m with a man forever who has a daughter and everything just works out?”
“It worked out for your parents.”
I shook my head. “We were lucky. I’m really afraid that luck doesn’t happen twice.”
“All of these what-ifs aren’t helping. You need to talk to him. I know it sucks. I know it’s scary. I’m not going to ask you what you have to lose because we all know that question’s ridiculous. There’s always something to lose.”
“But you’re right. If I don’t tell him, then he doesn’t have all the information.” I said it quickly, a little high-pitched. “And honestly, I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t know how it happened. I love him. I love the way that he is with Lucy, with me. I love how smart he is. How great he is with work. I mean, it was always going to be complicated. Ever since that first dance it was going to be complicated. But I should tell him before he decides I’m too much and walks away. I need to tell him. It’s not fair to him.”
“It’s not fair to you to keep it inside either.”
I reached over the table and squeezed her hand. “I love you.”
“You should be telling him that. But I love you too.” Aria winked as she drank the last of her coffee.
“I know you got that to go so you could go open up the office. So get in there. Although are you supposed to be alone?” she asked, narrowing her gaze.
“Kingston is on his way in too. Don’t worry, I’m not alone at the office.”
“If you say so.”
My phone buzzed and I looked down at the readout, my heart expanding and breaking all at once.
“Who is it?” Aria asked, standing up to look over my shoulder. She put her hand on her chest over her heart and let out a happy sigh.
“That is the sweetest thing.”
Hugh: Dinner tonight?
And attached was a piece of artwork from Lucy, asking me to dinner.
For some reason tears pricked the back of my eyelids, and I wiped them away quickly, texting back.
Me: Count me in.
“See? Maybe it’s not as dire as you think.”
I swallowed but nodded. “You’re right. Maybe I could have everything. And not lose it all.”
“Come on, I need to head into work and so do you. You said Kingston’s on his way?”
“He is. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“And give me all the details.”
I grimaced, suddenly afraid and nervous, but I would do it. I would tell him.
I wanted him. I loved him. And I had to take that risk.
I walked out of the coffee shop, and then cursed when I remembered I had folders I needed in the trunk of my car. I went back to the parking lot, my mind thinking about how dinner tonight was going to go. I would talk to Hugh today at work about it, and then I would figure out how to tell him I loved him.
Because I had to.
The first hit came out of nowhere, slamming me on the back of the head. I ran into the wall, my face dragged along the brick. Instincts kicked in, and I slammed my head back, hearing the guy curse, blood pooling on my shoulder from where I had broken his nose. I whirled to kick out as another hand pulled at my hair, tugging me back.
“Bitch.”
My phone had fallen when I was hit, and I reached for it, trying to dial the emergency code. We were in a well-lit parking lot but were behind the building and it was still early enough that the trees covered us. This would be caught on the security cams, and I could take them. I could.
I lashed out, hitting one of the men as he kicked me in the kidney, and I went to my knees, gasping for breath at the sharp pain.
I gagged, forcing myself to stand up, and knocked one man out, and then came at another.
But I realized there were five of them, and only one of me.
And there was no one else in this parking lot.
I attacked, taking another man out. The snap of bone underneath the pressure of my arm sent a delight through me. He was going to feel that for a long time.
I would get through this. I had to get through this.
Who the hell were these guys?
Adrenaline surged and I kept fighting, and I reached for the phone again, only to be pulled back, hands around my throat.
I kicked out, but my eyes widened and electric shocks sang through my body as the taser slammed into me.
I shook, my teeth clenching, and then I was on the ground, hand reaching for my phone.
And then there was nothing.