Lavinia smoothed her gown with damp hands. It was the evening of Jane’s engagement party, and thus far everything had gone nearly as planned, except for the unexpected absence of flowers, because her mother and Mrs. McTavish had been unable to agree on roses or peonies.
Mrs. Webb, the housekeeper, had sent a few of the maids to the shops for ribbon, and then had tasked everyone who wasn’t already working to make bows, so now there were ribbons in every color and pattern decorating every pillar, on the walls, and tied to the backs of all the chairs.
It was exuberant, and gaudy, and Lavinia adored it.
Even more so because she knew both her mother and Mrs. McTavish would loathe it.
She turned at the knock on the door.
“Lavinia?”
It was him. Of course. Was he here to critique the color choice she’d made for her gown?
“Come in,” she called, returning her gaze to the mirror.
Instead of purple, she’d chosen to wear stormy blue, the color of the sky when it was just about to rain. It was made in a stiff satin, cut so as to enhance her bosom, bare of ornamentation except for the darker-hued blue lace at the bottom.
She’d asked Nancy to dress her hair more intricately than usual, with the result being a profusion of curls spilling onto her shoulders. Nancy had pinned several diamond stars in her hair, and Lavinia wore a stack of bracelets over her matching blue gloves.
For the first time in her life, she felt and looked dramatically bold. It was a fitting ensemble for a woman who wanted to make a final statement before being banished from the world she’d always inhabited.
He strode in, and she gasped as she took in what he was wearing.
All pastel. From his light blue waistcoat to his cream-colored jacket to the lavender trousers he’d worn on their wedding day.
And while it would seem as though he would look ridiculous—and others might certainly judge him to be so—she thought he looked incredibly and undeniably handsome.
“I—I did as you requested.” His tone was low. And was it her imagination or did it seem as though his words held more impact than normal?
“I see.” She took a deep breath as he stepped toward her.
“And I know now is not the time to speak on things, since your sister’s engagement party is imminent, but I hope we can speak together afterward.” His expression tightened. “I have some things I wish to say.”
It felt as though her heart was caught in her throat. Could it be that he was finally breaking his silence to share his thoughts and feelings? Could it possibly be that he was going to ask her to stay with him, the bargain they’d made be damned?
If she were writing this, she would ratchet up the tension by making it seem as though that was what he was going to say, and then have him say something else entirely.
Thank God he was writing this, not her.
“Your Grace!” Even through the door, Mrs. Webb’s voice sounded panicked. Very far from her usual calm demeanor.
“Yes?” Lavinia called.
“The ladies are here, and they are fighting in the ballroom. Your mother and that other lady? Would you mind very much coming down? Now?”
Lavinia rolled her eyes. Of course they were fighting—they had never stopped, not even when their respective children had declared true love for one another.
Jane was going to have a very difficult time navigating those relationships. Perhaps Lavinia could work on creating a list of possible ways to respond to cause the least amount of harm.
“If you will excuse me?” she said, wishing she could hear what he had to say now. It wasn’t the interruption she’d imagined in her writer’s mind, but it had the same effect.
“Of course,” he said, gesturing toward the door. “Please let me know if you need help. And good luck separating the combatants.”
She chuckled as she walked out, heading straight for the chaos.
IF IT HAD been any other evening, he would have said what he had to say right away, not hint at it as though he was teasing her. But it would be thoughtless for him to upend her world prior to this event, which he knew she’d worked hard on, and was important to her.
He left her room, pausing in the hallway as he heard the sound of upraised voices. Should he go see what he could do? Or should he wait until she asked for him? He needed to show her he trusted her to make her own decisions, to do what would be best without his interference or the force of his title.
I’ll be there if she needs me. He walked down the stairway toward his office, wincing as he caught a glimpse of his ridiculous outfit in the tall mirrors that lined the entryway. But he’d seen how she’d reacted to it, and the expression on her face was worth the wearing of any number of light-colored pantaloons.
“Your Grace,” Melmsford said, sounding surprised. “I thought you would be in the ballroom. I believe the engagement party is this evening?”
Thaddeus nodded as he went to sit behind his desk. “Yes, but the party doesn’t begin for a half hour or so, and it appears there is a fracas involving my wife’s mother and the mother of the gentleman betrothed to my wife’s sister.”
“Ah,” Melmsford replied, sounding as though he understood. “I heard Mr. Percy Wittlesford will be previewing his next release during the party? That is quite a coup.”
“Say,” Thaddeus said as the thought crossed his mind, “you mentioned you and your sister read Mr. Wittlesford. Would you like to bring her to hear the reading?”
He wouldn’t have thought of it when he’d first been married. But seeing how Lavinia always treated the servants—as though they were people, not just soldiers in service to the house—made him want to extend that same thoughtfulness to the servants he dealt with. Particularly Melmsford, who’d proven to be a good sounding board on all sorts of issues.
“That wouldn’t be proper, Your Grace.”
Thaddeus chuckled. “Melmsford, tonight we will have the most disreputable family in London as our honored guests. I hardly think having an honorable working man and his sister in attendance will make a bit of difference. If you think your sister would enjoy it.”
Melmsford’s expression lit up. “Enjoy it! She would like it above all things.”
Thaddeus made a shooing gesture. “Then get going, go retrieve her and I will see you later.”
Melmsford rose and bowed a few times, then scurried out of the office, leaving Thaddeus to think about how he’d changed since meeting Lavinia.
He hoped he would continue changing, perhaps finally becoming someone who didn’t even need a list in order to run his life.
With her by his side, her exuberance and passion and fearless curiosity were things he would try to emulate, not deplore.
If they could just make it through tonight.
BY ELEVEN O’CLOCK, two hours into the party, Lavinia could say she was officially exhausted. In addition to solving the argument between the mothers, both of whom had chosen to wear yellow, with each demanding the other return home to change, she’d dealt with her father insisting she weigh in on an argument on economic theory he’d been having with Percy, as well as shepherding her various addled aunts around the ballroom to ensure the ones who were in lifelong battles with one another were not seated in close proximity.
“It’s going well, Lavinia,” Jane said, taking Lavinia’s arm and squeezing it.
“Yes, I think so. All we have to do is have Percy read, and Father can announce the engagement officially, and then this evening will be complete. Have you and Mr. McTavish finalized a date yet?”
Jane’s lovely face got clouded. “I have tried, but he pushes back on everything I suggest. Apparently his mother has superstitions about certain dates, and then she suggests other dates, and I say fine, and then it turns out those dates aren’t fine, after all.”
“Jane, I know you might not want to hear this—”
Jane met Lavinia’s gaze, sorrowful resignation etched on her face.
“But I have to tell him it is her or me.” She sounded determined.
Lavinia exhaled in relief. “Yes. You cannot allow her to rule your life and your marriage. He will have to make a choice.”
Jane nodded. “I will speak to him after Percy reads. I hope it’s not too scandalous. Did you choose what he’d read?”
Lavinia shook her head. “There was no time. I just told him to find something that was short and that would pique people’s interests.”
“Oh good, so it will be a surprise to you, too.”
A faint sense of dread crept up Lavinia’s spine. What if—? And what if—? But no, Percy would choose something that was appropriate for the venue. There was no possibility Thaddeus would discover her secret.
Even though now she had to acknowledge she had kept a secret from him.
“YOUR GRACE.”
Thaddeus smiled at Melmsford as he and a young lady who shared Melmsford’s coloring entered the room. “This is your sister, I assume?” He took her hand and bowed over it. “I am the Duke of Hasford, and your brother is an excellent employee. I am glad you were able to attend tonight.”
The party, as far as Thaddeus could tell, was going well; Lavinia had apparently quashed whatever argument was brewing between the two mothers, the wine was flowing in copious amounts, and there were several servants darting between the guests offering a variety of hors d’oeuvres.
“Thank you for having us, Your Grace.” Miss Melmsford was probably about seventeen years old, with wide eyes that kept getting wider the more she looked around the room.
“I understand you are a fan of my wife’s brother’s writing,” Thaddeus said in what he hoped was a kind voice. He knew his presence could be intimidating, and he didn’t want to make her anxious. At least, not more anxious than it appeared she was already.
“He writes the most romantic books!” she enthused, clasping her hands to her heart. “And the endings are always so unexpected; I am always so surprised when it turns out who the real villain is.”
“Ah,” Thaddeus said. Of course he was not able to comment on the quality of Percy’s writing, not having read anything the man had written. He suppressed a wince as he recalled how condescending he’d sounded when he’d first met Lavinia and her sister—remarking that he did not read those kinds of books or whatever.
Another way in which he’d changed. If Percy’s books were romantic, perhaps he could pick up a few hints about how to treat his wife.
If she would stay with him.
Later, he reminded himself. He’d talk to her about it later, after the party.
He glanced at the crowd, unconsciously looking for her. There she was. She stood next to her sister, a determined expression on her face as they conversed.
And then he saw Lady Jane nod and walk away, her mouth set in a serious line. Not the kind of joyous expression one would expect of a woman who was announcing her engagement, but then again, he couldn’t imagine being joyous, either about marrying that weak lummox or having to endure his mother as her mother-in-law.
But then again, he wasn’t Lady Jane.
As he watched, he saw Lavinia spot him and begin to move toward him, her gaze shifting to the Melmsfords, at which point a warm smile curled her lips.
Thaddeus suppressed the unexpected stab of jealousy that pierced him. How dare she smile at someone else like that? Because he knew damned well it was just her nature to smile.
“Good evening, Mr. Melmsford,” she said, taking his secretary’s hand. “And this must be your sister? Welcome, Miss Melmsford.”
That lady turned a bright shade of pink.
“Thaddeus, how clever of you to invite the Melmsfords! Mr. Melmsford, I do recall you mentioning you were a fan of my brother’s work. I am sorry I did not think it myself.”
She gave him an approving glance, and he felt as satisfied as he did after one of their more adventurous bouts of lovemaking.
Was this what love was? Feeling warmth when the person you cared most about in the world acknowledged a kindness?
And yes. She was the person he cared most about in the world now. Sebastian, Nash, and Ana Maria were his family, but she was his heart.
Dear God, please let him say the right things to convince her to stay. He wished he could drag Percy off somewhere and ask him to write a script or something.
Instead, he’d have to rely on his own words.
“If you would excuse us, it is time to have Percy read.” Lavinia took his arm, and he nodded toward the Melmsfords.
“Do you remember the last time we were together at one of your brother’s readings?” he asked as they walked toward the front of the room.
She chuckled. “Yes. I was trying not to notice your thighs as you were perusing all the single females for a possible duchess.”
And I ended up with the best one.
“Wait—my thighs?” he said.
“They made the first week or so of marriage tolerable,” she replied in a saucy tone of voice.
Oh, how he wished they were alone right now.
“I was just thinking I should try to read one of your brother’s books.”
“They are excellent,” she pronounced. “Full of adventure and some romance and truly wonderful writing. If I do say so myself.”
“You should. He is your brother, after all.”
“Yes, of course.” It sounded as though she had forgotten something, and he was about to ask if there was a problem when they walked up to Percy.
“It’s time,” Lavinia said. “Thaddeus will introduce you. That way neither Mother nor Mrs. McTavish will be upset, since he is the only thing upon which they agree.”
Percy held his hand out for Thaddeus to shake. “Excellent to see you again, Your Grace. Thank you for hosting this party.”
“Anything for your sister,” Thaddeus replied in a gruff voice.
He heard her emit a soft “oh,” and that eased the worry in his heart by a tiny amount.
He gestured to the musicians, who stopped playing. The crowd turned toward him.
“Welcome to our home. The duchess and I are grateful you have come on this festive occasion. Before the evening’s announcement, however, we have a treat. Mr. Percy Wittlesford will be reading from his next book, entitled—” He paused and glanced toward Percy.
“My Dark Husband.”
Thaddeus’s eyebrows rose. “Ah. We will be honored to hear an excerpt from My Dark Husband.”
The crowd applauded, and Percy began to speak.
“I did not know what he thought of me. Just that I was an inconvenience, and that he would rather I was not living in his house. If I could just get him to trust me enough, I would be able to steal away in the middle of the night. But I had no friends, no family.
“I was entirely alone.”
Percy paused, and several ladies in the audience emitted sympathetic sighs.
“Over time, we came to an unspoken agreement—a bargain, if you will. We kept out of one another’s sight during the day, while in the evening we would sit together at dinner and I would watch him as he ate. Wishing he wasn’t so compelling, that I didn’t feel as though I was a spider in his web.
“That I didn’t want to discover what it was that he actually cared about.
“So I could use it against him.”
Again, Percy paused, surveying the crowd. Thaddeus had to admire his ability to keep everyone’s attention without it being required—he had done the same in the army, but it had been a life or death situation.
Perhaps he should read one of Percy’s books, after all. They seemed harmlessly entertaining, and it could be a respite from reviewing the constant stream of accounts and legal missives that demanded his attention.
Lavinia stood beside him, paying rapt attention, and he held his hand out at his side, moving it over until his finger felt the fabric of her gown. And then he drew his hand up to clasp her hand, curling his fingers around hers.
She looked at him, eyes wide. Of course. He’d never done such a simple demonstratively affectionate gesture before; it wasn’t in the bargain, after all.
“Over time, I gained his trust. I spoke to him of his life, of who he had been before, and learned he was accustomed to being alone. He reciprocated by showing me all the passion that had been lacking in my life before.
“I hate to admit it, but I was falling in love with him. And I knew he would forget entirely about me once I had served my purpose, but he wouldn’t yet tell me what that purpose was.”
Her fingers were warm, and it felt right to be standing here in his house, with all these people, holding her hand. Having her as his anchor keeping him human, and connected so he didn’t forget what was most important to him. That his duty to which he was so committed was because he cared about the people behind the dukedom, the servants and the tenants and the merchants who purchased the products of his farms. That his duty was to Sebastian so he wouldn’t feel guilty about his mother having tried to destroy the dukedom for her own personal gains. To Ana Maria, who deserved something for having been an unpaid servant for so many years.
Even to Nash so that he wouldn’t have the excuse of not being the best possible duke he could be.
“. . . He stood in front of me in all his lividly angry splendor, his handsome face set in harsh lines, his arms folded over his chest while I could see his thigh muscles bunching as though he were going to barrel straight toward me. And do what, I had no idea.”
Thigh muscles?
“‘When I tell you to remove yourself to the country, you will do it.’ His voice was deep and harsh and I trembled to hear it. ‘And there you will stay until I decide if you can return.’ He stepped forward, and I began to shake. ‘There is no need to be afraid of me,’ he said, reaching his hand out to touch my cheek, ‘after all, you are precious to me.’”
Thaddeus froze, his mind processing all that he’d heard. He dropped her hand as he heard her gasp, and he looked at her, hoping he wouldn’t see the truth in her face.
But there it was.
Percy continued to read, and she looked entirely guilty. He nodded to her, a grim expression on his face, as he stalked toward where he saw Fletchfield.
“Bring me a big glass of whisky,” he ordered before glancing back at her.
Her back was rigid, and it appeared she was about to turn to look at him when her sister ran up, her face crumpled up as though she was about to cry.
Thaddeus nearly returned then, but stopped himself—they were merely partners in an agreement, not trusting spouses. Not if she hadn’t been able to trust him with this, clearly a very important part of her life.
Why had he thought they might have something together? He’d spoken to her at the music hall of how he felt as a child, how his responsibilities weighed on him. It would have been the time for her to share something about herself, yet she had been quiet. Quieter than usual after that conversation, he recalled.
It wasn’t that she was an author of books he would never read that was the problem; it was that it was an essential part of her, clearly, and yet she had kept it hidden away from him.
What else had she hidden? Could he trust her to speak the truth, all of the truth, again? Could he trust her with his heart?
Percy finished reading, and the room exploded in applause. Thaddeus saw how Percy’s gaze went immediately to Lavinia, a satisfied smile on his face as though he was glad she was able to hear that the audience appreciated her work even if she couldn’t be given credit for it.
Goddamn it.
She deserved credit for it, too. From him, as well as all the other people in the room. But she hadn’t trusted him with the information, as though he was just another one of the many guests they’d invited to their home and whose names they likely wouldn’t recall tomorrow morning.
He wanted to snarl, to stomp around and break things to relieve some of the furious anger inside. But that would be totally unlike him, as well as being totally unsuitable for his position.
So he would tamp it all down, remind himself that their bargain was still intact, and that this would all be over when he and she had done their duty.
Because he would always do his duty. That was all he was.