Thaddeus didn’t want to release her. Not now, not ever. But they still had to talk.
He drew away slowly, his hand sliding on her damp arm.
She looked up at him as she bit her lip.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
They spoke at the same time, and then both of them laughed.
“You first,” she said, nodding to him.
He took a deep breath. The rain had eased, but it was still falling, and there was moisture on her face, the raindrops sliding down as though they were tears.
“I shouldn’t have insisted on the bargain,” he began. He glanced away, hoping the words would come somehow. “I shouldn’t have kept you at a distance.” He looked back at her, at her lovely, vibrant face, at the damp strands of hair sticking to her skin and shoulders. “I didn’t want to fall in love. If you recall, I insisted that love was entirely out of the question.”
“Oh, I recall,” she said dryly.
“But I was wrong. So absolutely, terribly wrong.” He gripped her upper arms. “Lavinia, I am an idiot.”
The corners of her mouth tilted up in a slight smile.
“I wanted to ask you to stay, but then I heard the reading, and I knew you had kept that secret from me—”
Her smile faltered.
“But I think I understand why you did it.” He took a deep breath. “Not that it matters, that I understand. You are your own person, you can and should make your own decisions.”
He paused.
“I just want to be with you when you make them.”
Her eyes widened.
“I love you, Lavinia. Come home with me?” It was a question, not a demand.
She closed her eyes for a moment, and he felt his chest tighten, as though his heart was expanding in emotion. He wouldn’t believe she would say yes until he heard the word.
“I have something to say,” she said, then opened her eyes to meet his.
He held his breath in anticipation.
WASN’T SHE SUPPOSED to be good at words or something? She was standing here in the midst of a rainstorm with only two horses in attendance, able to speak her mind, to tell him everything that she felt about him, about them, about everything.
And all that she could come up with to say was—
“I—” And then she stopped.
What did she—?
“Yes?” He sounded pained. Of course, he didn’t yet know how she felt.
“I am an idiot,” she said, her lips twisting at repeating his earlier words. “Because I know what it is to hold yourself back from the people you care about. I love Jane, but she doesn’t always understand me. Though that is changing,” she admitted. But that wasn’t the point now. “I thought we could have the bargain you suggested without either one of us getting hurt. Or attached, for that matter.”
The rain had nearly stopped now. But she was still dripping wet, her clothes clinging to her damp skin. She would be feeling entirely miserable if she wasn’t also so intent on telling him how she felt. If her whole body didn’t feel as though it was on the verge of exploding from her emotions.
“But we can’t.” She shook her head to emphasize her point, and drops of water scattered through the air. “It is impossible for me to know you and not to love you. I even love the annoying things—like how you are so regimented and determined, and how you spelled out precisely what I could expect in our marriage.” She smiled up at him. “Even though you turned out to be absolutely wrong.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I have never been told I was thoroughly wrong before.” His lips curled up at the corners. “And I have never been so grateful to be wrong before.” He took her back into his arms, his mouth finding hers as his hands wound their way to her back, holding her in possession. Though now she wanted to be owned.
Their kiss wasn’t a soft kiss of apology; it was a passionate, fiery kiss that conveyed just how close they came to utter unhappiness. Lavinia bit his lip, then swept her tongue into his mouth as his hands slid down to cup her arse, pulling her body up against his hardness.
His tongue clashed with hers, and she heard herself actually growl, at which he chuckled low in his throat. She had one hand at the back of his neck, pressing him close, and the other hand at the small of his back, her fingers splayed to feel the strength of him.
“We cannot fuck out here on the road,” he murmured against her mouth. “So I have to ask again,” he continued, lowering his mouth to press a kiss against the base of her throat, “will you come home with me?”
She tilted her head back as she arched her back, pressing her aching breasts into his hard chest. “Yes, please,” she replied, gasping as he yanked her up harder against him, positioning her so she rode his thigh, giving her the contact she craved.
“Come for me, Lavinia,” he said as she began to move against him. “Use me, I’m begging you.”
The ragged edge of his voice nearly broke her, and she bit her lip as she shifted to rub herself against him.
His strong hand held her up so she had no fear of falling, and his other hand was at the juncture of her hip, his hand clamped down on her, then moving in to stroke her there.
“Oh God, Thaddeus,” she said as the orgasm hit her, and she closed her eyes as the passion swept over her in waves, his grunt of satisfaction the very best type of punctuation.
“Let’s go home,” he said as her shuddering stopped. “I need to get you in a bed. And out of these wet clothes.”
“Yes, please,” she said again.