REACHING OUT AND FINDING PURPOSE

These were powerful lessons to learn. They helped me grow as a person. I began working in television at a young age, surrounded by so many adults and given so many responsibilities. It made me grow up fast in some ways. I was often overwhelmed emotionally. The entertainment and music businesses have their fun sides, but they are truly businesses. When you are dealing with agents and contracts and sizable amounts of money, you can easily get caught up in the numbers game and lose sight of your purpose and passion.

I was reminded of this when I tried to release my second album. I felt so boxed up because my label at the time fought me on it. It was as if they blamed me because my first album wasn’t a success. It was all about the numbers to them, so I started to associate musical success with numbers too.

I was afraid that my second album might fail. I lost the fearlessness, the joy of singing and entertaining and the point of it all. It had become personal, which it never is, and the struggle is remembering that. The interesting thing was that during this time, I learned that the best way to overcome my fears and sadness was to reach out to other people and do something for them.

My parents’ lessons on using my gifts to benefit others came through once again, and it was reinforced by similar inspirational encounters I had around this time involving a couple of personal role models who I looked up to, Will Smith and Rihanna. They showed me an example of people who think of others and have somehow stayed true to themselves by encouraging others.

I know this personally because when I was going through some hard times with my career and family and I was super stressed out, I talked with a mutual advisor about how to resolve them. He represents a lot of actors and performers. He told me that it wasn’t unusual for someone who’d had career success in the entertainment business to go through these things. He encouraged me to give myself time to deal with the changes in my life and not to act without thinking things through with a long-term perspective.

His advice was helpful and I listened to it. I was still processing it a few days later when I got a cell phone call from a weird number. I didn’t recognize it so I didn’t take the call. I let it go to voice mail. Then a few hours later, I checked the message and I couldn’t believe what I heard. It was Will Smith!

He said something like, “Hi, Keke, this is Will Smith. I heard you were having a hard time and I just wanted to tell you that I know what you are going through. Don’t let it get you down. Just take your time and you’ll be fine. This will pass. I’m in Hong Kong making a movie now but if you want to talk just give me a call or text. Hang in there, Will.”

I’m paraphrasing, but that was the sentiment. After hearing that, I remembered that we shared the same advisor, and I figured he must’ve mentioned what I was going through to Will. I was so touched that Will Smith took the time out of his schedule to reach out to me. He also made me a happy birthday video for my sweet sixteen, something I’ll never forget.

Sometimes when I am overwhelmed with things, I tend to think that no one else has ever had the same problem, lolol dramaqueeeeen. Will Smith reminded me that I wasn’t alone and that others had made it through similar challenges. His few words had a real impact.

Another lesson I learned was to reach out to others when they touched me. So one day a few years later, I hit up Rihanna on Twitter. I became a real fan after “We Found Love.” The visuals for the song truly brought tears to my eyes, and though I didn’t share her experience exactly, I felt the sentiment. Life could be hopeless and painful, but that is where the love often is met. I told her she inspired me and that I hoped she continued to have a lot of success and a happy life. Again, I was surprised when she DM’d back!! She wrote, “Keke you are a light, just keep embracing God’s anointing and you will be blessed.”

I was just thrilled, and even more thrilled when she started following me on Twitter and Instagram. She was showing me love and letting me know I was acknowledged in the world. The singer Brandy did something similar for me. When we met, she gave me my first journal to write in, and in the front she wrote, “I am who I am because you are who you are.” It took me a while to understand that quote, but the fact that she gave it to me really got me into writing in a journal every day, which is really a great release and honestly has brought me much peace throughout my life. The written word is powerful.

Brandy lifted me up. The same goes for Queen Latifah, Chaka Zulu, Ludacris, and many others that continued to show me the possibilities in life and the support given to you when you are being a force for the good.

CREATING A BALANCE AND FINDING HAPPINESS

Service to others really is a healing force and a way to get your magic back. On my lowest days, bringing a smile to others brings me happiness. When I was younger, I overdid this and tried too hard to always be a people pleaser, but around the time I was twenty-one, my personal work helped me to be stronger and gave me more understanding, more insights, and self-knowledge. I learned how to create a better balance by first getting myself right and then creating healthy boundaries that allow me to be of the best service to others.

We often judge ourselves and our experiences, but my EXPERIENCE is what gave me the INSIGHT to even understand the purpose for my gifts and my passion. It also helped me to see the truth I always knew as a kid, the magic of using my gifts. I realized that we are meant to experience life fully and completely. We also have the free will to make choices that help us sustain our personal best and to be the best we can possibly be.

There is no real happiness when everything is motivated by SELF. Loving ourselves is good, but there is nothing rewarding or inspiring about chasing material success, status, or fame. I’ve seen that in my own life and in the lives of others chasing fame and fortune. Will Smith helped remind me that even the biggest celebrities take the time to get outside themselves and touch the hearts of others because that’s what makes it worthwhile.

I think we all know the benefit of serving others. We just get lost sometimes, usually when we buy into the hype that happiness comes with wearing designer clothing or owning a mansion. #THEPOINTOFADVERTISEMENT.

We forget that it’s not about things at all but connecting to the people whom you share this world with.