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Zoe
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So many questions raced through my head. I frowned at Vash. “You’re the, uh, first werewolf I’ve met, and I have some questions,” I said.
“Shoot.”
“Hold on, Vash!” Sidelle said. “Which pack are you from and where?”
“The Spiritus Pack of Minnetonka. Why?”
“I know wolves can kill the Marqs, I just wasn’t aware of a pack so close. I’ve been looking for one. Kieran, that’s why I didn’t say anything earlier.”
He nodded.
“Anything else?” Vash shrugged.
“No,” Sidelle said.
“When you are in wolf form, are you still you?” I asked. “Or are you more animal than man?”
“Ah.” He nodded in Kieran’s direction. “So he hasn’t told you anything about me?”
“He told me who you were, but I don’t understand the whole werewolf thing.”
He leaned forward with his strong arms braced against his knees. “I’m a Werewolf in the traditional sense. On the night of a full moon, my human body changes into a wolf’s form. New pups and adolescents can’t control the change, but older ones—like me—can. Adult wolves have power over the change, whether it’s during a full moon or at any other time.” He glanced at his feet before looking back at me. “We don’t call ourselves werewolves anymore because the movies have given us a bad rep, you know? They portray us as savages who can’t comprehend anything when in animal form. So ever since modern times, we have just been calling ourselves wolves.”
I blushed, knowing I was guilty of buying into the movie version of werewolves. “About that bad rep ...” I let the question hang for him to answer.
“It’s totally untrue,” Vash snapped, obviously irritated, but not by me. “We are a very loving species. We find our one mate and share our lives with them. Granted, when we are in wolf form, yes, we have a slightly higher instinctual level, but we can control our behavior. Can we be brutal and vicious? Of course, but no more than humans. We probably have even more control in some aspects, because our lives are simpler.”
“So you only get to find love once?” I asked. “What happens if you don’t find her, or if one of you dies?”
“Usually fate seems to work it out that we find each other. We are drawn by a force to find them. But if you die after you are mated, your mate will follow. One half of the soul cannot live without the other.” He smiled. “This is a very large world, but travel has been made much easier with cars and planes. Before that, many wolves never found their mates. We are fortunate now. Our mates can be any Ordinary or any wolf Natural, and if our mate dies before we find each other, we can have another mate.”
“That’s so sad!”
He shrugged. “It can be, but it prompts us to live life to the fullest and always appreciate our mate.”
“Are you mated?” I blurted, then slapped my hand over my mouth. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I just asked that. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
He laughed. “It’s all right. I don’t mind answering. No, I’m not mated, but I’m still young. We live about the same length of time as the nephilim, so about two hundred years.”
“Next question: when you kill demons, is it in human or in wolf form?”
“We can in either form, but it’s easier as a wolf. The human body has limitations. As a human, we can die by human weapons, but it’s much harder to kill us in our wolf form. Because we’re blessed by God, the wolf can only be killed by something equally as holy, like the swords the nephilim and demons carry.”
I looked at Shay with wide eyes. “Can you die that way, too?”
“Yes, and I will die someday. I can’t die from a human weapon, though. The angel part of me would heal me back to full health, but depending on the injury, it might take a while. Only the Swords of Hell can kill nephilim.”
“Is that what those swords are called?” I shuddered at the thought of Shay being struck down. “The ones the Marqs carry?”
“Yes. They’re swords dipped in Hell’s Fire. Since medieval times, most Knights haven’t carried them, since they’re supposed to look like Ordinaries, and people these days don’t carry swords around. They would look ridiculous if they did, so they generally leave them to the Marqs who can hide them under their cloaks. My guess is they brought both a gun and a sword to the warehouse, though, not knowing who they might run into. They covered both bases.”
Kieran leaned in. “But Devin didn’t bring one of the Hell’s Swords. And that’s why I wasn’t hurt,” he explained. “Like I said before, they aren’t all that smart.”
I frowned at Kieran and Sidelle, suddenly afraid. “Can you guys die, too?”
Kieran sighed. “I can be injured, but no, I cannot die. I will live forever, but it’s not how you think. Angels can lose their bodies. Think of it like a loan.” He paused briefly. “When we are ‘killed’ on Earth, the soul goes on and lives in Heaven with God and the other angels. We can only get back to Earth in another body.”
I looked at Sidelle, waiting.
“Fairies fade out of existence,” she told me. “It’s not the same as dying, but if you forget about me long enough, and no one else knew me, would I still exist? It’s like that saying: ‘If a tree falls in the forest but no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?’”
I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m sorry, guys. All this talk about dying and never coming back is making me depressed. Can we talk about prom?”
All eyes turned in my direction, obviously surprised, and I blushed. “I know it’s not the right time, but I need to change the subject for a bit. That topic is just too heavy.” I grinned at the wolf, hoping to distract them all. “So. Cali, huh?”
I glanced at Sidelle, hoping to catch her eye, but she wasn’t paying attention. Her eyes wore that soft, unfocused look again.
“She seems like a nice girl.” Vash grinned. “Better than Morgan. Man, that girl is bad news. I pegged her from the start.”
Everyone nodded at that observation.
“Oh.” I slapped my thigh. “I just remembered another question I had for you, Vash. Where are you staying now that you’re going to school?”
Vash shook his head. “The pack lives in the outskirts of Minnetonka, in the forest. I don’t have a place yet. I’ve been commuting back and forth. Enrolling in school was a spur of the moment decision.”
“You can stay here,” Kieran suggested. “Shay can use the company, I’m sure. Maybe you guys can train together. Better yet, you both can start training Zoe on some defensive maneuvers.”
“Thanks for the offer.” Vash grinned. “I was planning to ask you this morning. I agree it’s a great idea to start training Zoe. If she wants to, that is.”
I nodded. “It’s definitely been on my to-do list,” I said then glanced at Sidelle again. She was back with us, her green eyes alert. I tilted my head and nodded in silent question, and she immediately picked up on my hint.
“I’m going to get something to drink, anyone want anything?” I asked.
The boys weren’t thirsty, so I left the room and walked toward the kitchen with Sidelle right ahead of me. She was closing the fridge and had set out an opened strawberry pop for me on the counter by the time I entered.
I reached for the can ... and it glided the last remaining inches across the counter and into my hand. I stared at the can, wondering if I’d just hallucinated.
“Hey, Sidelle, did you just see ...” But no. I shook my head. “Never mind. Hey, I’m sorry about mentioning Cali in front of you. I totally forgot you had a crush on him.”
She waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about it. I’m over him.” She tapped her nails on the counter. “He’s certainly into Cali though, which is good. I could tell immediately when he saw her. She’s a nice girl. Don’t tell him, but I have a feeling she could possibly be his mate!”
“No way.”
“Way! But, don’t tell. I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings if I’m wrong. So now—you! Tell me more about the glowing thing. I know you didn’t want to go into graphic detail in front of the boys.”
“Um, well, Shay and I returned from our date last night, which by the way was super awesome. Thank you! He stayed in my room all night again. You know, fulfilling the watch schedule.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, you just keep on telling yourself that if it’s what you need,” she teased. “But just so you know, Kieran and I are off rotation until further notice. All night watching will be done by Shay.”
“For real?”
“I’m not joking. Now spill.”
Awesome. I smiled. “Okay. Well, when he dropped me off, he told me he loved me.”
Her eyebrows shot up.
“I know, I know, it’s too soon. But I can’t help the way he feels. Anyway, we moved to my room, and we talked and that led to, well, you know. We kissed—”
“Where were you?”
I blushed. “On my bed. Anyway, that’s when I told him I loved him, too ... and then I started to glow. My whole body. Just like Shay and Kieran!”
“Super cool! I think that means you should prepare yourself for a set of angel wings.” She grinned.
“You think? I mean, I can’t be anything else? Like a nephilim or a wolf? I’m just making sure.”
“Nope. All signs are pointing to an angel. I get why you’re asking, though. You’re worried because you’ll have to watch Shay die someday, or you won’t be able to be with him after your change.”
“What? Are you saying I might not be with him after I get my wings?”
She looked slightly uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Zoe. Maybe it’ll be different for you, but angels and nephilim don’t mix. Angels just are and have always been. They weren’t born, but well ... You’re so not normal. Maybe everything will be thrown out the window with you. I guess you’ll have to cross that road when you get there.”
I shook my head. That simply wasn’t going to happen. I will find a way to be with Shay.
I took a sip of my drink. “Sidelle, where do you go when your eyes gloss over?”
“Depends. Sometimes I have to concentrate on something. And other times, I’m having a conversation with another fairy. When you noticed it in there, well, I was being summoned to Summer Court. King Oberon wishes to see me.”
“Why?”
“Probably because I petitioned, or maybe he’s just checking in. I’ll be gone a while, probably miss a few days of school.”
“A few days? Can’t you just poof yourself there and back? I’ve seen you do that, you know.”
She smiled. “Yes, I will be popping myself there and back, but like the Void, time moves differently in Fairyland. Sometimes what feels like a human day is a year, but other times it feels like a lifetime passed by and it’s only been a few hours. I won’t be able to gauge the time until I return.”
A pang of sadness squeezed my heart, even though I knew she’d be back. “When do you leave?”
“When this meeting is over. The sooner I leave, the quicker I can come back. On the bright side, Vash is here. He can help protect you, and he’ll probably be better at it than any of the rest of us.”
Back in the great room, the boys were casually chatting. You would have thought we’d walked in on a group of normal guys talking about sports or girls, instead of what they were: an angel, a nephilim, and a wolf discussing war strategies. I was relieved that the tension between Kieran and Shay had finally eased.
Sidelle walked into the center of the room. “I have to go to Summer Court. King Oberon has summoned me. I may be gone a few days, so Vash can take my place protecting Zoe at school.”
I hugged Sidelle. “Be safe and come back soon,” I whispered, then I addressed the boys. “I should get home, too. Ready, Shay?”
“Of course. Whenever you are.”
I hugged Kieran goodnight, too, and turned to Vash, unsure of the protocol. I went with the hug, but he stood stiff and awkwardly patted my back.
As I turned to leave, I noticed Vash grimace at Shay.
“What?” I asked.
He looked at Shay, his eyes almost pleading. “I’m ... sorry, man, I didn’t know she was going to do that. I wasn’t—”
Shay shrugged. “Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal. She’s a hugger. It’s all cool, Vash.”
“What?” I asked again.
Shay tugged on my arm and ushered me out of the room. “Nothing. Let’s go.” Once we were outside, he explained. “Wolves are territorial, and that means over their mate, too,” he said with a chuckle. “No, he doesn’t think you’re his mate, but he thought I was going to kick his ass for touching you when you hugged him. That’s all.”
“What do you mean, ‘that’s all?’ So you’re saying that if some guy touched me, you wouldn’t go all crazy on him?”
“No, not for that.” He shrugged. “You’re a hugger, Zoe. You can’t help it. You need to show your affection toward people. That’s why you always hold my hand: You’d miss my electrifying personality.”
I nudged his shoulder then remembered his quiet mood from lunchtime. “Thanks, Dr. Shay. And speaking of your electrifying personality, why’d you go all dead on me at lunch today? You said you would tell me later. It’s later, in case you’re wondering.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll tell you when I return. I need to drive Angel back to Kieran’s so your parents don’t get suspicious. I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?”
“Hurry back.” I kissed him.
“Always.”
I opened the front door, expecting my parents to be in bed already, but they were sitting on the couch watching the late news. I walked over to them and hugged them.
“Thanks for the great dinner tonight.”
“You’re welcome,” Mom said. “Did you have a nice time after? Seems you and Kieran are back to normal. That Shay fellow ... he’s very nice and seems to adore you.”
“I know.” I plopped into the recliner. “And the feeling is mutual.” I cleared my throat and dove in with my next question, gauging their reactions. “I’m wondering if there’s any chance I could take a trip like when school’s out over the summer. Kieran said he may go backpacking in Europe, and I’d love to go.”
They exchanged a quick glance of surprise then looked back at me.
“Mom and I will have to discuss it.” Dad sounded guarded. “That’s a lot of money, even if Kieran goes with you.” He grinned. “The two of you gallivanting around Europe. I can only imagine what trouble you two could find. I assume Shay would be going, too?”
I avoided his question. The idea of the trip was dodgy enough without my throwing in the idea of traveling in Europe with the boy I loved. “I know it would be expensive. I’m just asking. Kieran doesn’t know a whole lot about specifics yet, but I love the idea. Just think of all the historic places I could see and learn about. I think it could be an educational experience, and since I plan to work the summer between my senior year and college, I could help pay for some of it, then—”
“You should save all your money for college,” Dad said.
“We’ll discuss it,” Mom promised.
“Okay. That’s all I’m asking. I’m off to bed. Goodnight.”
They called goodnight, and I walked up to my room. By the time I’d finished getting ready for bed and opened the bathroom door, Shay was already lounged on my bed. I walked over, turned off the light, and crawled under the covers next to him.
“So what’s up, tough guy?” I asked, snuggling closer.
“It’s silly.”
“I won’t laugh. I promise.”
“I shouldn’t let it bother me,” he said. “She didn’t mean it, but it’s true on some level.”
“It’s just Morgan,” I reminded him.
“I know, but she said that just because I was dating you, I didn’t have to fight your battles for you. She said I can’t always protect you. But the thing is that I want to fight your battles. I want to protect you. I feel like I have to, and not just because I’m obligated to, or because that’s why I exist. I have to protect you because I love you.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
He hesitated. “I’m afraid the time will come when you’ll have to make a choice, and you won’t choose me because I failed you somehow.”
I frowned at him. “Shay, I will always—.”
“What if you don’t, though? You never know what’s at stake or what the consequences are, or even what the decision could mean.”
This conversation was difficult. Sidelle had told me that nephilim and angels didn’t mix. When the time came, would I still choose Shay? Or would I be forced to choose an Eternal. If so, Kieran came to my mind immediately. If I become an angel, I couldn’t watch Shay die. Or was there a chance I might be able to stop this? A hundred years from now, I know my choice would still be the same.
So much to think about.
“Shay, all I know for sure is that right now, I choose you.”