Whatever is required of any work of literary journalism, perhaps the foremost element is time. When you are telling someone else’s story, and that story happens to be about the worst thing that ever happened to them, the time commitment can be extraordinary. For this reason, I am profoundly and deeply indebted to the families of Rocky Mosure and Michelle Monson for their time, their trust, and their faith. I would be lying if I said I did not cry alongside them at times. So my deepest gratitude is to Sally Sjaastad, Paul Monson, Sarah and Gordon Mosure, Alyssa Monson, and Melanie Monson. I would also like to thank those who gave me their time not just once or twice, but over and over, in some cases for years: Jimmy Espinoza, Donte Lewis, Hamish Sinclair, David Adams, Neil Websdale, Kit Gruelle, Sunny Schwartz, Reggie Daniels, Leo Bruenn, Ruth Morgan, Peg Hacskaylo, Natalia Otero, Martina Latessa, Jacquelyn Campbell, Lee Johnson, Suzanne Dubus, Kelly Dunne, Robert Wile, Casey Gwinn, Gael Strack, Sylvia Vella, Joan Bascone, James Gilligan, Joan McCracken, Gary Gregson, William Kidd, Lou Johns, Maureen Curtis, and Lynn Rosenthal. Thanks to Nikki Allinson, who triple-checked my math. I would especially like to thank Matthew Dale, who did not live long enough to see this book come to fruition, but whose boundless work on behalf of victims sprouts through these pages.
For their generous support, I would like to thank the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, the College of Arts and Sciences at American University and especially the Columbia School of Journalism, and Harvard University’s Neiman Foundation for the Lukas Work-in-Progress Award. You have all made possible what often felt impossible.
For me, the line of family and friend has always been extremely porous and I thank, as always: Ann Maxwell, David Corey, Andre Dubus III, Fontaine Dubus, David Keplinger, Stephanie Grant, Danielle Evans, Donald Rutledge, Soleak Sim, Lance Lee, Zac Fisher, Lisen Stromberg, Ted Conover, Masha Gessen, Kate Woodsome, Elizabeth Flock, Julie Gibson, Yasmina Kulauzovic, Michelle Rieff, Tap and Mia Jordanwood, Lisa Eaves, Elizabeth Becker, Jen Budoff, Tom Heineman, Sarah Pollock, Katherine Ann Rowlands, Alison Brower, Marianne Leone, Chris Cooper, Richard Snyder, and Joshua Snyder.
The team at Bloomsbury is the most enjoyable, creative group of people I’ve had the pleasure of working with: Sara Mercurio, Jenna Dutton, Nicole Jarvis, Valentina Rice, Marie Coolman, Frank Bumbalo, Katya Mezhibovskaya, Cindy Loh, and Ellis Levine. They made sure I understood that the voice of the writer was always foremost in their endeavors. I am especially indebted to my editors, whose wisdom and grace mark every page in this book: Callie Garnett and Anton Mueller.
At American University, I am lucky to be supported in my intellectual and creative endeavors with colleagues who are a quiet source of inspiration. With a million thanks and gratitude to Peter Starr, David Pike, Kate Wilson, Patty Park, Kyle Dargan, Dolen Perkins-Valdez, Richard McCann, and Despina Kakoudaki. To the New Yorker editors who had the patience to work with me when I wasn’t at all sure that anyone could shape for the outside world what I needed to communicate from my inside world: Alan Burdick, Carla Blumenkranz, Dorothy Wickenden, and Lauretta Charlton.
I say without hyperbole, this book would not be what it is without the tireless help of my research assistant, Molly McGinnis, who at times would ask: “Should I be supportive researcher today or authoritarian editor?” Remember her name; Molly has a big career ahead of her.
Susan Ramer, how lucky I am to have had you as an agent for twenty-three years. The decades speak to the fact that I would not be writing this today if not for you. Thank you for your belief in my words, your tireless drive to bring out my best. Yours is the fingerprint hidden inside every page of anything I write.
And, finally, for Jazz: everything I love and care most about in the world can be found in you.