Sara’s party had arrived. Cade, tense and fidgety as a fifteen-year-old boy on his first date, stood next to me as we walked into the rented party space—a back room at an exclusive restaurant. I’d sprung for having my hair professionally done. And a new dress. The satin sheath slid over every curve of my body when I walked, in an almost sensuous movement. I needed to show up Sara. For Cade, of course. Not for me. What do I have to prove?
Forget that my confidence was at an all-time low. I was barely scraping by to cover up how weak and broken I was. Gunner could certainly see it. The dog didn’t think he needed to listen to me. I guess Mark had done more of a number on me than I wanted to admit. But tonight was about Cade. I put extra flounce in my step and sparkle in my grin. Fake it till you make it.
Poinsettias covered every flat surface of the room, and mistletoe hung from the archways. Green and red ribbon spooled down tastefully from the ceiling in the shape of artistic Christmas trees. It was absolutely beautiful. But Sara always had impeccable taste.
“Cade!” an unnaturally high voice called.
We turned, and Sara held out her arms to him. Her slinky, metallic dress could have come off a runway in Paris and made me rethink wearing the Santa hat. Sara pulled Cade’s stiff body into a hug.
Her empty ring finger attracted my gaze and alarm bells rang in my head. Now that she knows what she missed out on, she might want him back.
Her gaze fell on me, and she acted surprised, although she’d obviously seen me. I was hard to miss in the deep red dress and Santa hat. “And Rosie, was it?”
I kept the bite out of my voice. “Remi.”
“Oh, right.” She waved me off in an obvious slight and slung her arm through Cade’s, putting herself between us.
Oh yeah, she wants him back.
Seeing her touch Cade sent two very separate emotions coursing through me. On one hand, they’d been together for years—it looked natural. But a larger part of me flooded with a bitter jealousy that surprised me. I bit the inside of my cheek. This girl needs to be knocked down a notch, or ten. Is it rude to punch the hostess?
Cade stopped, neatly stepping away from Sara and holding out his hand to me. “Come on, babe. Ready to party?”
I caught the shadow of a tremor in his voice and gripped his hand in both of mine, then squeezed. “Always, hon.”
Sara shot me a veiled glare. In return, I sent her a saccharine grin that could have rotted teeth, and nestled in closer to Cade, my gaze on hers the entire time. If looks could kill, I’d be dead.
I didn’t know what her game was, but no way was I letting her get her poisonous, money-hungry claws into Cade again. He needed someone who appreciated his sweet heart, loved his humor, enjoyed simply being with him. Someone…like me. Wait, what?
Cade must have noticed me stiffen under his arm. “You good?”
“Great.” Not freaking out at all. “We got this,” I said for both of us.
Sara stiffly showed us around, introducing Cade to some people and waving over friends he hadn’t seen since before he left. It was about as comfortable as walking through a cave with vipers around the corners and enormous spiders ready to drop from the ceiling.
Cade kept me tight to his side, and I felt the tension in his frame. Though he may have some old friends here, they weren’t good ones. No real friend of Cade’s would have been cool with Sara after that shredding of a speech at the wedding. Why did I insist we come? I might as well have pushed him into Sara’s grasp.
Sara finally released us to fend for ourselves when she needed to greet more arriving guests and we made for the food to keep busy. I had to admit, the Christmas gingerbread was to die for. I wished I could ask where she’d gotten them. A fattening treat to bring in for Kerri…
I excused myself to run to the bathroom and considered my reflection. The Santa hat was cute, especially with the bells on the end. But at this swanky party, I more needed an evening gown fit for the Oscars, not the simple dress I’d chosen. Blowing out a breath, I headed back out.
Sara was hanging on Cade’s arm, laughing way too loud at something he’d said. That did it. A very un-holidaylike feeling bubbled in my chest. Now I really wanted to smack the smile right off her face. What the heck would it take for her to get the hint to leave Cade alone? He was taken—sort of. At least as far as she knew.
Then I spotted exactly what I needed a few feet behind Cade. I strode over and didn’t apologize for interrupting their conversation. Instead, I playfully pushed his chest to nudge him back.
“Oh, my,” I said with a fake innocence. “Look what we’re under.”
He glanced up at the mistletoe hanging down on a bright red ribbon, then back down to me.
I sensed Sara’s glare on my back, hot as laser beams. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I smiled playfully and whispered, “Time to put our acting to the test.”
His widened eyes flashed with something as he hesitated for a split second before bending down to meet my lips. The warmth of his mouth spread over my entire body. Sparks danced behind my closed eyes, and jolts of electricity shocked me. I opened my mouth, and he deepened the kiss. No kiss had ever been so right. What started out as a play to prove something turned into one of the most epic moments of my life.
We broke away as hoots and claps filled the room. Scrambled fragments of thoughts tried to make it through my brain, but not much made it. Cade… kissing… me… holy crap.
I glimpsed Sara storming off. At least my plan to get her off his back had worked. But part of me wondered what in the world I’d started. Because it was definitely something.
Cade walked me to my door after the party. I’d kept up a semblance of coherent conversation on the ride home, despite our kiss running through my brain on repeat. We stopped on the porch, and I turned to him before I put the key in the lock. My senses seemed to have a new addition, as if my body recognized Cade and where he was, how far away, what he was doing.
“…before I leave?” Cade finished a sentence that I’d completely missed.
I don’t want you to leave at all. The thought made me blink. Somewhere in all this pretending and acting like we were a couple, I’d really fallen for him. And not a guy-I-have-a-crush-on kind of way. More like the L-word kind of way. Holy crap.
My lips burned with the memory of his mouth against mine. I wanted—no, needed—to feel him again. Before I could psych myself out of it, I reached up and gripped the hair at the nape of his neck and tugged his head toward mine.
He stiffened for a moment before our gazes locked and he moved toward me. “Remi—” my name a whisper on the breeze. His hands settled on my hips as if they belonged there, and he pulled me against him as our lips met.
Same as before, sparks erupted behind my closed lids. Every nerve in my body jumped to attention. The sparks exploded into fireworks. His hands roamed over my back, and I explored his chest, arms, and neck. This connection wasn’t only physical. A sense of safety like I’d never experienced before washed over me.
“Remi,” he breathed as we came up for air. “Oh, God. Remi.”
We dove back in for another kiss.
A bark right behind the door made us both jump. Cade broke the kiss and crushed me to his chest, ready to defend me in a way that made me want to laugh and cry simultaneously at how sweet he was.
“I’m going to strangle that puppy,” I giggled.
Cade blinked and a completely unfamiliar expression took over his features—fear, with a dash of oh shit. He set me at arm’s length. Away from his warmth that had surrounded me moments before.
Every cell in my body screamed at me not to ask, but I couldn’t keep the question inside. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. We can’t do this, Remi.”
My warm heart froze as if dipped into liquid nitrogen. “Do what?”
“This.” He waved between the two of us. “Your brother is going to kill me.”
I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Not the words a girl wants to hear after that kind of make-out session. “My brother has nothing to do with us. Don’t use him as an excuse.”
“And you’re fresh out of a relationship,” he continued. “I can’t be your rebound guy. I have too much to lose.”
My eyes snapped open. “Is that what you think this is? Me falling for the first guy I see to get over Mark?” Fury dropped my voice to a deadly calm. “Give me more credit than that. And who are you to say I’m on the rebound? Like you’re over Sara?”
“I’m sorry,” Cade said and stepped away as if more distance between us would stop the gravitational pull of our bodies towards each other. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I should never have agreed to this mess. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
The word friend stung like acid being poured over a fresh wound. I wanted to argue with him, convince him we had something real between us. But my pride dissolved those words to dust on my tongue. I wasn’t pathetic enough to beg a guy to be with me. I fumbled with my keys to have an excuse to turn away.
Gunner peered out the side window next to the front door, his nose pressed to the glass.
“How did you get out again?” I asked the dog so I could ignore Cade. “I put a lock on the kennel.”
“Need some help with him?” Cade asked.
He regretted kissing me, but he wanted to help with the dog. Fabulous.
“No, I’ll be fine.” Steel hardened my words. “You need to leave.”
I unlocked the door and greeted Gunner, who lay at my feet and looked up at me with clouded eyes. His subdued behavior set off alarm bells. I considered him and crouched down to rub his ears. “Were you naughty?”
He whimpered. The alarm bells increased to full-blown sirens.
Against my wishes, Cade walked past us into the house. “Uh, Remi?” Cade called from the kitchen. “Come in here.”
As I rounded the corner, my breath caught in my throat. The pile of jewelry that I’d left on the counter for weeks was now strewn across the floor.
I glanced at Gunner, who slumped against the doorway. My anger and hurt shot to the back burner. “He wouldn’t have eaten it, would he?”
Cade’s face scrunched and he shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past the little piranha. You need to go through it to see if anything’s missing.” His gaze assessed the passive pup. “He doesn’t seem right.”
“I can figure this out.” I kept the upset from my voice by sheer power of will. “It’s not your problem.”
Cade caught my arm. “Remi, don’t do that. I’m here for you.” He stared at his feet. “And I care about Gunner.”
“Good to know you care about one of us,” I snapped, then wished I could grab the words out of the air and stuff them back in my mouth.
“I care,” Cade said, his voice full of gravel and sorrow. “Too much, is the problem.”
I shook him off. “I don’t have time for this. I can’t make you leave.” I moved to the strewn jewels. “Check him over while I see if anything is missing.”
Three hours and a trip to the emergency vet later, Cade dropped me off at my house again. This time, I refused his offer to walk me to my door. It had been hard enough sitting in the waiting room with the tension between us thick enough to choke on.
“He’ll be okay,” Cade called before I closed the truck door. “He’s a tough little snot.”
I gripped Gunner’s collar in my hands. They’d cut it off when the clip stuck. I nodded, then wiped another tear away and closed the truck door.
The x-ray showed Gunner had eaten two rings, including my engagement ring, an emerald pendant, thankfully without the chain, and two diamond bracelets. His digestive tract was practically a high-end jewelry store.
The vet held off on surgery to see what he could pass on his own. So, he was staying at the animal hospital for at least a day, possibly two. Plus, if he went into distress, they could get him into surgery immediately. I’d okayed whatever interventions needed to save him. All the chewed furniture, ripped pillows and other puppy annoyances seemed like nothing when I considered the possibility of losing Gunner.
Cade rolled down the window. “Remi, call and let me know how he’s doing, please.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Mad as Cade made me with wussing out on feelings I knew he had to be having, I appreciated that he genuinely cared about Gunner.
With the door locked behind me, I leaned against the wood. The already empty house now felt like a vacuum without Gunner’s exuberant, chewy presence. Why didn’t I throw the damn jewelry away? I slid down the door and rested my head on my bent knees, hugging Gunner’s collar to my chest. What had started out as an amazing evening had turned into a nightmare that made me feel more alone than I’d been in my life.
“Mom,” I pleaded. “I was fine at home.”
My mom pulled me through the shop door on the main strip of old Castle Rock. “Nonsense. I heard it in your voice the minute you picked up the phone.”
Note to self: never answer when Mom calls again.
“You don’t need to be alone worrying about the puppy.” She considered a rack of handmade scarves. “Besides, I know you’re behind on your Christmas shopping.”
If only she knew I had yet to buy a single present with two weeks until Christmas. She’d probably have an aneurism right there.
The enormous store was decked out in fake snow and holly. It was usually one of my favorite places to shop, filled with booths of local crafters and merchants. It was the best place to find one-of-a-kind gifts that you could feel good about buying.
Firming my shoulders, I breathed in the scent of handmade candles, dried flowers, and beeswax. A chink in the chain of worry loosened. I wandered from stall to stall, picking up wooden carved kitchen utensils and jars of local honey or salsa. I bought Chris several types of hot sauce and found a hand-carved hockey plaque for my dad. Mom even coaxed a laugh out of me when she suggested we buy Jeremy a fuzzy alpaca hat.
“What are you going to get Cade?” Mom asked, her back to me.
I flinched at the sound of his name. Reality came crashing down with the weight of several tons. What do you get the guy you fell for and then got rejected by in the same night? Laxative-laced chocolate? Icy Hot hemorrhoid cream? “I’m not sure,” I said, hearing the unease in my voice. I cleared my throat. I’d heard you could order a chocolate penis that was delivered anonymously. That idea had potential. “Something for his new place?”
Mom turned. “Something wrong between you two? I thought he was helping with Gunner.”
Nothing gets by this woman. “Nothing’s wrong,” I lied—badly. “I’m upset over everything. With the dog, I mean.”
An overly excited voice shriveled my eardrums on contact. “Remi?”
I spun to face Kerri and faked a smile while my insides turned to water. “Hey, Kerri. Good to see you.” God, I have to get Mom out of here. Fast. “We were just leaving.”
“Oh,” Kerri beamed with a triumphant gleam in her eye that screamed, I won. Like she was so proud of herself for stealing Mark away from me. “I’m not sure where Mark got off to.”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten, hoping this was a nightmare I’d wake up from. I opened them and saw pure fury on my mom’s face.
Mom’s gaze darted from my likely horrified expression to Kerri’s obviously protruding belly. “We have time, honey,” Mom practically purred. She turned her attention to Kerri. “You work with Remi, if I’m not mistaken?”
Kerri put on her sweet, innocent façade that had fooled me for all those months she’d been sleeping with my fiancé. But she was pushing it by talking to me in public. Maybe she thought we were all good because I didn’t stab her with scissors at work…or throw staplers at her head…or smash her in the face—I cut off the violent train of thoughts. She obviously had no idea I was purposely bringing in sweets to make her fat. Geez, I’m a horrible person.
“We do.” She rubbed circles on her belly absently, then leaned toward me, holding up a Christmas ornament. “I was thinking this would be perfect for Mark & I, for our tree. What do you think?”
The silver house was engraved with Our First Christmas Together.
I opened my mouth, but my tongue refused to make words.
Mom stepped closer and plucked the ornament from Kerri’s hand. “This is for you and Mark?”
Kerri nodded, a flash of fear on her face that she quickly covered with her I’m-so-sweet expression. “We moved in together after… Well, I’m sure you know the entire story. I’m so grateful that Remi and I can still be friends.”
Mom flashed a smile that only family would know as predatory. Her voice was serene. “Of course, Remi is an amazing woman.” She examined the ornament. “This is perfect.”
Kerri breathed an audible sigh of relief.
Mom turned away, then, as if reconsidering, returned her attention to Kerri, leaning in close. “In the spirit of forgiveness and friendship, it is Christmas, after all.” She tilted her head toward Kerri’s. “Just remember, many men start cheating when their partner is pregnant. And once a cheater, always a cheater.” She straightened and took my limp arm, then beamed a smile like she’d wished them a long happy life together instead of the complete opposite. “Well, so nice to see you, Kerri.”
Mom pulled me away from a gape-mouthed Kerri. Her firm grasp on my elbow was all that kept me from walking into the many tables crowding the space. She ranted under her breath. “I knew he cheated.”
Tears pricked my eyes, but I blinked them away. “I’m sorry, Mom. I couldn’t talk about it. Especially having to see them together every day.”
Out of Kerri’s line of sight, she pulled me to face her, cradled my cheeks in both her hands, and kissed my forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for.” Emotion lowered her voice to a whisper. “My poor angel. To think you see that woman at work. How have you been holding yourself together?”
“I’ve been bringing in doughnuts and cookies,” I managed to get past my closing throat.
Her brow furrowed, then understanding dawned. She barked out a laugh. “Serves her right. I hope they have to roll her into the delivery room like an Oompa Loompa.”
I bit my lip but couldn’t keep the giggle inside. Finally sharing my revenge with someone made it oh so much sweeter.