I woke with a bass drum pounding in my temples. Why did I drink so much? I never did shots. For good reason. Glancing around, I realized I was alone, and relief and sadness fought in my heart. Cade got me home safely, like I’d known he would, or I’d never have let myself get drunk.
Jeremy showing up had been a shock, though I should have considered the possibility. The look on Cade’s face flashed in my mind. Upset and fear.
Moving slowly, I stripped off the dress, brushed my teeth, downed ibuprofen, and got into the shower. The expression on his face wouldn’t leave my mind. Here I’d brushed away his concerns over my family as excuses, but now I saw them for what they were. Reality.
I stood under the stream of water and remembered Jeremy leaning into Cade while they were talking, his face hard. I didn’t care what my brother thought. If he was upset, he could get over it. But Cade obviously cared. They’d been friends since grade school.
I am so stupid.
I gingerly washed my hair.
Plus, my family was practically his adopted family. If we got together and broke up, what did I have to lose? A friend, which was a huge consideration. But Cade stood to lose my entire family.
I leaned against the tile. If I couldn’t be with Cade, then I wanted—no, needed—to still be friends with him. My life was better with him in it. My breath solidified in my lungs at the thought of not being with Cade, of possibly seeing him fall in love with another woman.
Being by myself for a while is better anyway.
Focused on setting things right and feeling more like myself than I had in months, I got out of the shower. I’d missed two calls from the vet. Nausea threatened to overwhelm me. I dialed back. My frantic sentences bombarded the poor man that answered the phone.
“Sorry we scared you.” The vet came on the line as I paced around my bedroom. “We were trying to get a hold of you to let you know that Gunner took a turn last night.”
My heart stopped pumping. Darkness circled my vision.
“He’s significantly improved and ready to be picked up if you have someone to stay with him for the next week,” the vet finished.
I exhaled a stale breath. “Oh, thank you so much. I’ll be right over.”
Hair still wet, no makeup, and dressed in pajama pants and an old t-shirt, I looked like a college student the morning after a frat party. I ran into the vet’s office and leaned on the front desk. “I’m here for Gunner.”
“We have him ready for you. If you’ll sign this statement.” He handed over a piece of paper. “We already ran your card.”
I didn’t want to see the number but had to. Damn, that’s half what they told me to expect. Never able to keep my mouth shut, I had to ask. “This is a lot less than we talked about.”
“Your boyfriend paid for half of it when he came in,” he explained.
“I suppose he didn’t want you to tell me?”
The man cleared his throat, obviously sensing that he’d stepped in a mess. “Yes, but I can’t really lie about payments.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Really Cade? It was such a classic Cade move that I couldn’t find it in me to be mad. He’d never let me pay him back. Looks like you’re getting a six grand Christmas present. “Thanks for letting me know.”
Behind me a door opened, and another nurse walked Gunner out on a slip leash. He limped, so frail and weak. All thoughts and upset forgotten, I dropped to my knees and held out my arms. “Oh, baby.” Tears spilled from my eyes. I’d been so afraid that my indecision over dealing with the jewelry had killed him. He scrambled into my embrace and licked my face. His warmth filled the space that had been so cold since we’d had to bring him in. “I missed you so much.”
“He’ll need to be kept calm. The meds should help some,” the nurse said. “He’s been getting more agitated, so that’s why we thought he might do better at home. But you really need to keep the cone on him, so he doesn’t lick.”
I got Gunner to quit squirming, besides his whip-like tail. “I’ll keep him mellow.” I nuzzled his face. “And you’re going to wear the cone of shame.”
“He can’t be left alone for at least a week. The stitches in his intestines can rip easily, even with something like jumping up. If that happens…” He didn’t need to finish the sentence.
I met the nurse’s gaze and spoke with confidence. “I won’t let anything else happen to him.”
I kept a hand on Gunner the entire drive home, as if to reassure myself that he was really there, alive. The house felt normal again with Gunner back. Well, nearly normal, since he needed to be kept lying down and the only way to do that was to lie with him. We cuddled all day Sunday, which my hangover was grateful for. While we were on the couch, I gave him a break from wearing the cone around his neck.
Monday and Tuesday, I called off work, not caring about my boss’ tone. The promotion was at the bottom of my list of worries at this point. Wednesday and Thursday, my mom insisted on coming over so I could go into the office. She’d had dogs her entire life, plus raised kids, so I trusted her to watch over him, though I was sure she would be a softie when it came to him wearing the cone.
Friday, Cade showed up at my front door at seven thirty. I stared at him standing on my porch. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to take a Gunner shift.” He strode past me into the house. Gunner was already running for him, the white plastic cone wobbling on his neck. Cade held up a hand. “Stay.” Gunner stopped, but his head drooped. Cade approached and knelt in front of the pup, rubbing his ears slowly. “Hey big guy. You had us worried.”
The emotion in Cade’s voice stopped my protest. He really loved Gunner. I’d planned on staying home from work again, but today we had a huge presentation. “Are you sure you can miss work?”
“I haven’t missed a day of work since I started this job.” He rested his forehead against Gunner’s. “He’s so skinny.”
I crouched next to them on the floor. “He’s actually gained some weight, but he still needs to be resting.”
“I’ll take good care of him.” Cade met my gaze. “Remi, I’m sorry.”
I held up a hand. I hadn’t planned on talking about this yet, but the sooner the better. “No. Don’t be sorry. You were right.”
He blinked. “I was?”
I got up and led Gunner to the half torn up couch that I’d covered with sheets and made into his sick bed. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t consider how much you had to lose if we got together and then broke up.”
He opened his mouth, but I pressed on. “My family is your family. I can’t ask you to risk our friendship and all those relationships. I might not care about what my brothers think, but now I see why you do.”
“Remi—”
“Let me get this out.” I met his gaze and spoke with more strength than I’d had in a long time. “I want you in my life—even if that’s just as friends. I was being selfish and stupid.” I glanced out the window. “Besides, you’re right. I’m totally on the rebound, all messed up. And that’s unfair to you.”
Words seemed to die on his lips. He nodded, then focused his attention on Gunner who practically vibrated with excitement. “Keeping him calm is going to be a full-time job.”
Both relief and grief filled me, but at least I’d gotten out the words that took me a week to think up. The only part that I hadn’t meant was the part about being on the rebound. I was so over Mark. But a girl had to save some face.
“I’m going to get ready for work. Thanks for this.”
“What are friends for?” Cade asked, without looking at me.
My mom volunteered to stay with Gunner for the final part of the fake dating fiasco—my company party. I’d thought I’d want to spend hours making sure I looked great, but I threw on a simple knee-length sheath dress and plopped a Santa hat on my head instead of spending time on my hair. I truly didn’t care what Mark thought.
Gunner sat in the doorway to the bathroom watching me, finally out of the cone of shame, since he wasn’t licking at the incision. I finished my make-up in record time, keeping it simple. Gunner had been regaining his strength and feistiness as he healed but was still in danger of tearing his internal stitches.
My hairbrush fell to the floor and Gunner darted forward to pick it up and run away. It was his chase-me game.
Oh, crap.
Instead of running after him, I snapped. “Gunner, drop it.”
He slid to a stop in my bedroom and let the brush fall from his mouth.
I stared. He did it. He listened to me.
Rushing over to pick up the brush before he changed his mind, I rubbed his favorite spot behind his ears and kept my voice level, though I wanted to fall to the floor and smother him with kisses. “Good drop. Yes, good drop. Come,” I said. He followed. When I stopped, he stopped and sat next to my feet, like we’d practiced so many times on leash, but he’d never really listened before. I closed my eyes to keep tears back, then walked to the couch. “Sit.”
His butt hit the floor and he watched me.
“Good sit. What a good boy.” I couldn’t keep some enthusiasm from my voice and his tail wagged. I can do this. See, I am strong.
The doorbell rang.
Now for the big test. I got up. “Stay.”
He whimpered but stayed put as I went to the door.
Mom and Cade stood on the step. I paused at seeing the two of them together—Cade with a slightly sheepish expression on his face. My mom, on the other hand, looked like she’d won some sort of prize. I shot Cade a furrowed brow, but he just shrugged. I can’t deal with this right now.
“You’re beautiful, honey,” Mom said. “Where is my baby?”
She’d fallen for Gunner’s sweet personality in the two days she’d taken care of him.
“Gunner, come,” I called.
He scrambled to the entryway and leaned against Mom to get love.
“That’s my baby,” Mom crooned. “I brought special treats. Yes, Grandma loves you.”
Cade shot me a mirthful grin that my mom caught.
“What?” she demanded. “They had special healthy Christmas cookie treats at the pet store.” She waved us out the door. “You go on. I’ve got a nice evening planned for Gunner and me.”
I grabbed my purse and closed the door.
“I wonder what she’s going to be like with grandkids,” Cade laughed.
Emotion thickened my throat as I longed to take his hand in mine, but held back. “She’ll be waiting a while.”
The party was about as pathetic as you could get. A tinsel tree straight from the seventies stood in one corner along with a dud in a Santa suit that I had to wonder if my boss picked up from the front of a liquor store. Cold cuts with sliced bread graced the food table, along with a store-bought cookie tray and a cheap shrimp ring. With the record profits that I knew we’d brought in, you’d think they could throw a decent party. At least there was alcohol. But after last weekend, I wasn’t up for drinking.
“Who was in charge of putting the party together?” Cade asked.
I nodded toward where my boss stood talking to a younger man I’d never seen before. “I saw the budget. He had plenty to spend.”
Cade shook his head. “Must have given himself an extra Christmas bonus instead. You holding up okay?”
“I’m good. Great. Fabulous.” Nerves made the food even less appealing.
Cade held my hand—for show—but I enjoyed the feel of his skin on mine anyway. Too much.
Mark and Kerri avoided us. Guess Kerri hadn’t gotten over Mom’s comments at the shops. So sad. Not.
Pretty much everyone ignored the pathetic food and went for the hard alcohol. Within an hour, everyone except Kerri, Cade and I were drunk. Several women even sat on creepy-Santa’s lap for pictures.
I leaned in to whisper in Cade’s ear. “As soon as they announce who got the promotion we can get out of here.”
“You sure?” Cade asked. “That room temperature cheese is looking pretty tasty.”
“Right?” I quipped. “But I’m really waiting for the shrimp to go bad because what’s better than food poisoning over Christmas?”
Our banter, so easy and natural, lessened some of the agony hiding in my heart. See, being friends is good. But my heart stamped return to sender on that memo and refused to stop aching.
“You okay if I head to the bathroom?” Cade asked.
“I’ll try to restrain myself from the urge to sit on Santa’s lap.”
“Don’t you dare do that without me,” Cade said. “I want photographic evidence.”
With a shake of my head, I shoved him toward the bathroom. He’d barely been gone a minute when Mark appeared at my side.
I jumped and tried to back away, but hit the wall beside me. “Hey, Mark.”
He smelled like he’d showered in tequila rather than drinking it. “You look good, Remi.”
I glanced around for Kerri, hoping she’d come over to claim her drunk man. He wasn’t my problem anymore.
Mark leaned in. “She went to lie down. Man, is she getting fat.” He moved closer. “I miss you.”
I turned to stare at the asshole I’d thought for three years was the man of my dreams. To think I’d cried even a single tear over him. “You are such a pig.” I smacked away his raised hand before it could touch my cheek. “Don’t even think about touching me.”
“Is there a problem?” Cade’s voice, deep and heavy with threat, came from behind us.
I neatly side-stepped Mark and stood beside Cade. “No. No problem worth our time.” I led Cade away, which, given his stiff stature, was no easy feat. “No beating him up. You promised.”
“He deserves a lot worse than a skunk,” Cade spat.
“They had to total his BMW,” I whispered.
“That means he gets a new one.” Cade wrapped his arm around me and glared across the room at Mark.
Before I could respond, my boss stepped to the center of the room. “If I could have everyone’s attention.”
Ice crystals formed in my blood and circulated, freezing my extremities. This was it.
“We had a record year, thanks in a large part to all the hard work out of this office,” he continued.
And that’s how you’re moving up to the main office in New York.
“I know there’s been a lot of speculation about the future now that I’m leaving.” Tense silence filled the room, and I could feel eyes on me. “I don’t want to keep you in suspense.” He waved to a man standing over in the corner that I’d noticed earlier and assumed was someone’s guest. “This is my son, Frankie. He’s a year out of getting his master’s and will take over for me.”
Stunned silence filled the room, followed by a wave of whispers and a few weak claps.
I snapped my gaping mouth shut. I spoke under my breath, “A newbie? You’ve got to be kidding.”
Cade leaned in. “Nepotism at its finest.”
“Is this a joke?” Mark called from the other side of the room.
Our boss held up his hand to Mark. “I know you’ll all welcome Frankie and show him the ropes.”
Mark glowered and I was surprised smoke wasn’t coming out of his ears.
Instead of anger, relief filled me. I needed this job for the money, especially with Mark breathing down my neck over the house. But before I could think, I walked to the center of the room with Frankie and his dad.
“Congratulations.” I held out my hand and shook Frankie’s. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”
My boss beamed at me with approval.
I turned to the gathering of people I’d worked with for the last three years. “I have an announcement as well.” I met many of their gazes. “As of the new year, I’m leaving the firm.”
A gasp spread over group.
I continued. “Since I already put in for vacation, my last day was yesterday.” I held up my glass of sparkling cider. “Happy holidays, everyone.”
Ignoring the calls and especially my boss’ voice behind me, I walked to Cade. Peace filled me. “Ready to go?”
His scrunched brow smoothed when our eyes met. “Sure you don’t want a shrimp for the road?”
We left the party, and knowing that I never had to go into that office again was the best Christmas gift I could have given myself.
Cade dropped me off. Mom left. I sat on the couch with Gunner, alone with my decision to quit my job with no backup plan, no idea of what I was going to do or how I was going to pay my bills, much less buy Mark out of the house. But I knew I’d made the right decision. Thinking about not having to see Mark and Kerri again made me feel like my blood had been infused with helium. I was lighter. So light I might float away.
I snuggled Gunner who let out a contented sigh with his head resting on my chest. “We’ll find a place with a nice yard for you, I promise.” I stroked his smooth fur. “We’ve got this.” I pulled my laptop to my side and got to work on my future.