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Don’t Just Pray
With great power comes great responsibility.
Uncle Ben, Spider-Man
Humanity has always been fascinated by the idea of an alternate reality. Whether we are talking about superheroes, other worlds, or special powers, we, mere mortals, are obsessed with wanting there to be more than this life. We want more meaning, more purpose, and more power. The megasuccess of the Star Wars franchise, as well as the off-the-charts box-office success of the Marvel superhero movies, reveal that people are fascinated with the idea of being able to figure out how to access more power.
The seemingly mythical idea that people are able to be more powerful, be more in touch, and make a bigger impact on the trajectory of history strikes a chord with us because it’s true. People love alternate realities, yet many don’t realize there actually is another world, with supernatural characters and powers waiting to be unleashed in our midst every moment of our lives. As we discussed in chapter 3, we are a part of a supernatural war, whether we know it or not. We have incredible power through Jesus Christ, but it’s up to us to unleash it.
I often wonder how many different movies about the same superhero can be made. I’m convinced there eventually will be a Batman 27. With every generation comes a new desire to conquer the world, and this desire was once in all of us. Maybe you still have it, or maybe you have lost it along the way. Maybe you have been told no too many times. It’s time to find your way back to the adventure you were created to live. For a culture that is so infatuated with epic tales of superheroes, world powers colliding, and usually a love story mixed in for good measure, it seems counterintuitive that so many people are completely unaware of their own hidden powers.
The point of our lives is not to watch other people live their dreams. Far too many people today are so busy watching other people’s lives through the lens of social media that they completely miss out on living their own lives. I don’t want to miss my destiny, and I’m guessing you don’t want to either!
Live with Power
In the 2002 movie Spider-Man, Uncle Ben wisely explains to his superhero nephew, “With great power comes great responsibility.”1 If you have put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ for your salvation, then this quote is even more true for you than it is for Spider-Man. As Christians, we have great power and great responsibility. We have in us the same great power that resurrected Jesus from the dead. Having that kind of power means our lives should look different from those who do not have that power.
The “power” is the power of the Holy Spirit; the “responsibility” is the responsibility of those who have tasted the goodness of the Lord to make sure our lives are lived differently. We have the responsibility to further the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16).
We need to pray with power. We need to persist with power. We need to live with power. We need to look into our future and, as Proverbs 31:25 says, “laugh at the days to come” (NIV) because we know no hardship we face is a match for our God.
Scripture has a similar saying to Uncle Ben’s: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). While there are certainly things beyond our control that we cannot make happen on our own, there is a lot that can be done when we claim our rightful place as heirs of Christ and start taking God at His holy Word. If you have been given eternal life, much is required of you. But isn’t this what you have been secretly longing for all along? You have great power. You have great responsibility. You also have a great destiny.
We may sense the Holy Spirit nudging us to call a friend, a parent, or an estranged child. But then the thought comes to us, No, I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to pray about it. Here’s the problem with that: passivity is not spirituality. We have an active God, not a passive God. There is nothing spiritual about not doing what we need to do. There is nothing spiritual about neglecting to mend relationships that need to be mended. There is nothing spiritual about refusing to see doctors who can heal us or our children.
Passivity is not spiritual; it’s detrimental, whether the excuse is, “I’m not going to see a fertility doctor; I’m just going to pray about it,” or “I’m not going to take my child who is struggling with depression to a counselor; I’m just going to pray about it,” or “I’m not going to seek advice for my failing marriage; I’m just going to pray about it.”
It’s important to note that, while God has the power to do anything in anyone in any way He pleases, He often uses other people to accomplish His purposes. Doctors are not mutually exclusive from God’s plan. God didn’t look up one day and go, “Oh, no! Where did doctors come from? And how did counselors get on the planet?”
God has worked through the guidance and counsel of professionals at two of the most pivotal times in my life. The first time was when I was a college student and had a Christian counselor who spoke God’s truth to me and helped me get to the point of rededicating my life to Christ and stepping off the road of rebellion that was certain to destroy me. The second time was when it became clear after three miscarriages that Ryan and I needed to see a fertility doctor who had the special training necessary to figure out what was going on.
Of course, this does not mean every doctor and every counselor is ordained by God to fix your every need. However, we are told time and again in the Bible to seek wise counsel. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (NIV). I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my plans to fail; I want them to succeed. So that means I need to seek the counsel of people who have the education and the spiritual background to help me, and then I need to actually do something. Plans that are not carried out are called wishes.
Ryan and I had to decide what to do about seeking fertility treatment. Finally, we decided to see a specialist. I’ll always remember my first trip to the fertility doctor. My husband and I sat awkwardly in a waiting room, listening to the Backstreet Boys’ greatest hits through the ceiling speaker while avoiding eye contact with other couples and commenting on the unusual art: a mermaid family statue. I’m not kidding. The sculpture was of a mommy and daddy mermaid holding a baby mermaid up in the air!
The artwork and music choice created a nice comedic relief from the anxiety of wondering what the doctor would say. What would be my prognosis? What if she said I had no chances of carrying a baby to term? What if there were no answers for why I easily became pregnant but could never stay pregnant? The roller coaster of three pregnancies followed by three miscarriages was a ride we were ready to get off.
The nurse eventually called us back to a consultation room that had all the posters and props of a high school health class, where we nervously played on our phones until the doctor finally came into the room. She sat down, looked through my medical history paperwork, and in no more than five minutes told us what she thought was wrong and how she planned to fix it. She confidently assured us she was not worried about my eventually carrying full-term. We left the doctor’s office feeling very assured and encouraged.
I took a combination of fertility medications, including nightly shots Ryan gave me that were supposed to help with ovulation. We were cautiously optimistic about having multiples, though the doctor had said that twins would be extremely rare, with only a 6 to 12 percent chance. And triplets never even entered the conversation.
As Ryan and I proceeded with the fertility treatments, despite what the doctor said, and despite the fact that the odds seemed stacked against us, we continued to pray for multiples. We continued to pray for three biological children. And we also continued to pray for God to do “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph. 3:20 NIV).
Our triplets were conceived six months later. God answered our heartfelt prayers through the wisdom and the skill of doctors. He chose to use medication to help bring about our desire for a family, and maybe He wants to do the same in your life.
The Balance of Prayer and Action
Almost as soon as we got the miraculous news and announced we were having triplets, the questions began. At first, we were hesitant to tell people we had seen a fertility specialist, not because we were ashamed but because we didn’t want anyone to discount the miracle God had worked in our lives. But even though we sought treatment, does that make three lives any less a miracle? God is either the creator of life or He isn’t. There is nothing less miraculous about God working through science, medicine, or a memory lapse in taking birth control than carefully timed family planning. After three miscarriages, we decided to see specific doctors, and we encourage anyone going through that heartache to consider doing so as well. We conceived triplets because God ordained their lives and answered our specific prayers.
I remember having a pastor’s wife reach out to me and ask how we had reconciled going to the fertility doctor with the Bible verse that says, “God opens and closes the womb.” First of all, that is not an actual verse in the Bible. Isaiah 66:9 and Genesis 29:31, as well as other verses, give examples of God choosing to open and close the wombs of specific women and give credit to God for the creation of every life. Psalm 139:13–16 tells of the intimate way God knows us from the very beginning of our lives:
For you formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
God has ordained every day of our lives, but we should still wear seatbelts. The connection between our actions and God’s sovereign plan may remain a mystery this side of heaven, but we cannot dismiss the reality that God works through our choices, wise counsel, and common sense. Medicine never limits God. God is more powerful than an antidepressant, a fertility drug, or a seatbelt. But for whatever reason, God uses these medications and precautions to help us. We are only hurting ourselves when we don’t use these tools offered to us who are blessed to live in the twenty-first century.
If God has not ordained a life to be born, no amount of fertility drugs, herbal teas, or tricks you learned from your sister will matter at all. No baby is born outside God’s will. No fertility medication works outside God’s will. Fertility treatments don’t bypass the God of all creation, of whom Job said, “I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).
However, fertility medication is without a doubt a gray area in the Bible. God has not specifically said yes or no about this issue. What was right for us may not be right for you, and that is okay. Sometimes God tells us that something is not for us, and we need to wait for His green light before moving forward. Sometimes, as the old saying goes, “When plain sense makes good sense, seek no other sense, or it becomes nonsense.” If you have a child who won’t go to school because of anxiety issues, they most likely need to see a therapist. If you have been trying to get pregnant for ten years and still haven’t, you most likely need to see a fertility specialist.
Action is not dismissing God’s power; action is being an active part of His plan. There is a balance between the responsibility of prayer and action.
Have you ever known people who have a deep relationship with God made obvious by the way they pray? When they are asked to pray publicly, you get a small glimpse into their closeness with God. Just being in the presence of hearing them pray seems like a high honor. (These are also the people I usually secretly hope I don’t have to follow during a prayer time.) When they pray, these people bring down the house and all of our spiritual doubts with it! I love being prayed over by people like this. They pray as if they believe what they are praying about will happen and the God they are praying to will actually answer.
Excuses: whether they are from clients who are reluctant to talk about their hard issues, teenagers who put off doing their homework, or adults who seem to never make that appointment with the doctor, they remain the same: “I’ll do it when I feel like doing it.” “I don’t feel like forgiving.” “I don’t feel like working out.” “I don’t feel like calling the doctor.” The truth is that we probably will never wake up and want to do hard things. We are most likely not going to jump out of bed excited to mend broken relationships, confess our sin, or take the next steps toward addressing health concerns. The old axiom remains true: we don’t feel our way into an action; we act our way into a feeling. With the rare exception, the action is first and the feeling follows. This is why a workout regimen or a Bible reading plan is so hard to begin but gets easier once we have done it for a consistent amount of time.
In my early twenties, I decided to read a verse or chapter in the Bible every day for a year. I wanted to see how my life would change if I woke up every day and heard from God before I heard from anyone else. Starting this habit was hard at first. I had many times I wanted to play on my phone, sleep in, or basically do anything other than my daily Bible reading. But as time went by and I consistently spent thirty, forty, and more days in God’s Word, doing anything else in the morning started to become impossible. I acted my way into a feeling, and as a result, I experienced God like never before.
Joseph—An Example of Prayer in Action
Joseph did not romanticize or spiritualize his prison. On the contrary, Joseph actively tried to get out of prison any and every chance he was given.
We see this after Joseph interpreted the dreams of the cupbearer and the baker. He used his God-given gift of interpreting dreams not only to bring glory to God, to keep working, and to gain favor with others but also to keep the ball rolling. When he interpreted these two influencers’ dreams, Joseph said, “Only keep me in mind when it goes well with you, and please do me a kindness by mentioning me to Pharaoh and get me out of this house” (Gen. 40:14). However, “the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him” (v. 23).
My heart sinks when I read that verse. The sense of being forgotten is relatable and universal for all of us. Believing we have been forgotten is such a powerful tool of Satan. When I read this verse, I want to yell, “Joseph, you weren’t forgotten! Don’t worry! Chapter 41 is coming!” Of course, Joseph did not know that Genesis 41 existed, that his story would be chronicled in the bestselling book of all time, or even that he would live to see another day. But in the back of his mind, while trying to fall asleep in the midst of a foreign land, perhaps he held on to the fading memory of his God-given dream that seemed a lifetime away. The dream that was the source of his brothers’ hatred, the dream that led to his abandonment by his family, the dream that led to his kidnapping, the dream that led to his imprisonment, the dream that ultimately would cause all of these things to work together for his good and the good of his whole people. The dream kept Joseph moving and kept reminding him that his current state was not his forever sentence. He had been promised more, and he was going to do everything in his power to experience more.
Joseph had faith that God would fulfill the dreams He had given him, and he kept acting accordingly by refusing to be a victim and actively believing God to be good, sovereign, and in control.
Too often we stay in our prison cells by our own admission. We stay too long in a place when God has created an escape. None of us will escape this life without trials and tribulation, but the very nature of trials is that they are not permanent. They are only for a season. There is a balance of fulfilling our purpose in a place, situation, or trial while at the same time keeping a lookout for how God may be working to move us from that place.
I am fascinated by how Joseph acted during his time in prison because it is so different from how most of us spend time in a place we don’t want to be. The Bible never records Joseph complaining or falling into despair. Why does this matter? Because it shows that he stayed focused and faithful. Complaining doesn’t honor God. Complacency doesn’t honor God.
Christians are still allowed to be human. We are allowed to feel sadness, hurt, loneliness, anger—the whole realm of emotions. We also should have a different perspective that helps us see the truth and purpose in the midst of situations that threaten to break us. Jesus reminds us in John 16:33, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” We can overcome anything with the One who defeated death on our side.
Questions to Consider
The most influential people in the Bible were not passive. With God’s divine power, they parted the seas, took on armies as teenagers, and even rose from the dead. However, sometimes we aren’t sure what action we need to take in order to get our prayers answered and dreams fulfilled. In those circumstances, we need to ask two specific questions. First, does God’s Word specifically address an issue? If not, does God’s Word have principles that guide us in addressing it?
Does God’s Word Specifically Address This Issue?
The Bible has much to say about many subjects. It’s humbling to know that we are responsible for knowing not only the parts of the Bible we already have read but all of it. Whether we know the Scriptures or not is on us. Some questions are clearly answered in Scripture. For example, Christians don’t have to wonder if they are supposed to marry a non-Christian. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers.” Christians don’t have to pray about whether they should have sex before they are married or whether to cheat on their spouses. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (ESV).
God never tells us to do anything that contradicts His Word. If the issue in question is already addressed in the Bible, then that is the standard.
Does God’s Word Have Principles That Guide Us in Addressing This Issue?
However, not every decision we need to make has a corresponding Bible verse. For example, the book of Ephesians won’t tell you which electrician to hire. The book of Hebrews won’t tell you what college to attend. This is frustrating for some people but freeing for others. God knows when we need specific direction compared to when we need guiding principles.
A clear example of this is in the case of dating. The Bible says we aren’t supposed to marry nonbelievers and we are to abstain from sexual immorality. Other than that, who are we to date? The Bible may not specifically answer your question, but guiding principles are readily available when we search for them: “Honor your father and mother” (Eph. 6:2). “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33). “Reject every kind of evil” (1 Thess. 5:22 NIV).
Take Action
What are some other things we can do when we aren’t sure what action we need to take in order to get our prayers answered and our dreams fulfilled?
The Bible is clear that we are to seek wise counsel. We were never meant to live this life on our own (thank goodness!). God gives us a built-in support system: the local church. Fellow Christians are called our spiritual family, and often they are even closer to us than our biological family. We find counsel, encouragement, and safety in the family of God.
Unfortunately, sometimes in church we also can find people giving their opinion instead of God’s opinion. This is something we are all guilty of, because we are all human. Some of the nicest people give the worst advice. Some well-meaning Christians give counsel from experience rather than from the Holy Spirit. Remember that the advice, counsel, or opinion of a Christian is not necessarily the advice, counsel, or opinion of God.
Listen to the Holy Spirit
There have been many times I have felt strongly that I should do something without having a specific Bible verse to back up my feelings. Remember, God will never tell you to do something that contradicts His Word. But He may tell you to do something, or not to do something, that isn’t specifically found in a scriptural command. For example, no matter where you look in the Bible, there is not a verse that tells you which college to attend.
James 4:17 sheds light on how God speaks to our consciences individually to help us get to where we need to go: “Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (ESV). Sometimes it doesn’t make sense why we feel convicted about a television show, song, substance, or relationship. Maybe the thing in and of itself isn’t wrong or sinful. Maybe everyone you know is engaged in this activity, but in your spirit, you keep hearing a still, small voice telling you, This isn’t for you.
Listen to that voice, if it doesn’t contradict Scripture. And then see if you find the peace and unmistakable joy of a clear conscience.
Use Common Sense
We do not have to fast for forty days, go through the latest podcast series, or take a vow of silence until we hear from God. God speaks to us through the common sense He gave as part of the design of our minds. Merriam-Webster defines common sense as “sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts.”2 If you haven’t conceived after ten years of trying to have a child, you probably need to see a doctor. If you can’t get out of bed in the morning due to depression, you probably need to see a psychiatrist. If your parent is an alcoholic, you probably shouldn’t drink alcohol. Some decisions require prayer, fasting, and time. Others are common sense.
Keep the Faith
During the year that Ryan and I suffered three miscarriages and sought medical help, I had many people tell me to “keep the faith.” The sentiment was well-intended but also pretty vague. Who or what was I supposed to put my faith in, and exactly how was I to keep it?
It’s interesting how we have the tendency to encourage people to keep going without directing them to the only One who actually can keep them going. It’s also interesting how many people who don’t know God still know that the survival of the human spirit is rooted in the charge to keep going and to believe there is more to this life than what we are presently experiencing. Faith is only as good as its object. We can have faith all day long that a chair will hold us up if we sit in it, but if its leg is broken, we’ll fall. It doesn’t matter how much faith we have if the object of our faith is not worthy or dependable. But if our faith is in the God of the Bible, who tells us, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5 NIV), we are in safe hands.
Prayer with Action
Every once in a while, we are blessed to cross paths with people who change us forever. One of these people for me is a client of mine who decided that she wanted to heal from the childhood sexual abuse inflicted by her uncle. She was constantly torn between false guilt, forgiveness, and moving forward in their relationship. She also was conflicted because she was a professing Christian while her uncle did not claim to know Christ. Where was the boundary line between the offender and the abused? What was the responsibility for someone who knows God’s redemptive power and someone who does not?
Counselors are not supposed to tell clients what to do. We are taught to help guide people into figuring out what they need to do themselves. Sometimes I’m on the edge of my seat, knowing what decision the client should make, while other times I really don’t know. For months, I worked with this woman through her healing from sexual abuse. But when she and I weren’t working through the abuse, our conversation would always turn to her concern about her uncle’s salvation. My counseling training tells me not to expose her to her abuser again. My biblical training tells me we are to tell everyone we can about Christ but also that it’s okay to “go out of that house or that city [and] shake the dust off your feet” (Matt. 10:14) when people are unresponsive to our witness. I truly didn’t know what she should do, and she didn’t either. She was praying constantly for guidance to know what she should do.
During this time, a job opened up for me in full-time ministry, and I was ending sessions with my current clients. My last day of working at the clinic, I decided to listen to my voicemail one last time. The message was from this client, who said, “Julia, I’ve heard you are leaving, but I wanted you to know that I have decided to go to Indiana to witness to my uncle on his deathbed. I don’t know if he will accept Christ or not, but I’m going to do my part to make sure he hears about Jesus.”
Instead of only praying about what she should do, she also acted on Scripture. We must pray, but we also must act.