25

WHO IS THAT?

Circus music and the smell of popcorn wafts through the air and the crowd is buzzing with excitement. I walk into the middle of the ring into the spotlight. The World’s Strongest Man is looking puzzled. He snarls and picks up one of the magicians’ handsaws from his chest of tricks and swipes at me with the sharp blade, but I duck out of the way. My biceps bulge in the spotlights and I grab him by the waist and hoist him high above my head. The cheering of the crowd is deafening. This is the best show they’ve ever been to!

‘When I get down, I’m going to hurt you!’ screams the World’s Strongest Man.

‘Not if I make you disappear first!’ I shout.

Holding him above my head, I walk over to the magician’s chest and throw him inside. I slam the lid shut and lock it, throwing the key into the lion’s cage. The crowd goes wild again! They clap, they cheer, they shout! The chest shakes violently, but there’s no way the World’s Strongest Man can get me now.

‘Who is that?’ I hear someone call from the crowd. It takes a few seconds before the audience realises who I am.

‘That’s Deadly D out there!’ yells a lady eating a dagwood dog.

Everyone starts talking. They can’t believe that Deadly D has returned — at the circus!

‘What are you doing here, Deadly D?’ shouts the kid in the North Queensland Cowboys hat.

‘Yes, good question,’ roars Ringmaster into the microphone. ‘What are you doing here?’

The crowd goes silent, waiting for my answer. I look up at Justice and Coach Bennett, then back at Ringmaster.

‘I’ve come to save my friends. The ones that came here to find me!’ I reply.

On the platform above, Coach Bennett takes his clown costume off and throws it to the ground. Underneath, he’s wearing his Broncos training clothes.

‘They’re not your friends. They’re clowns!’ Ringmaster laughs nervously but before I can say anything, Justice beats me to the punch.

‘You’re the clown, you egg!’ screams down Justice. ‘Hey everybody, does this guy look like a clown to you?’

Coach Bennett is wiping the make-up off his face.

‘That’s Wayne Bennett up there!’ yells the lady with the dagwood dog. Well, half a dagwood dog.

‘Is that really you, Coach Bennett?’ shouts the kid in the Cowboys hat. Everyone looks up at Coach Bennett, waiting for his reply, but it doesn’t come. Ringmaster raises the remote control above his head. Then he does the unthinkable.

‘If I can’t have Deadly D, no one can!’ screams Ringmaster. Before I can reach him, he presses the button on the remote control. A creaking noise, like a large metal door being opened, squeaks from the platform. The man-eating crocodile circling below is thrashing its tail.

‘Don’t do it!’ I yell, running towards Ringmaster. I shoulder charge him and knock him out cold, but it’s too late. The platform tilts. Justice and Coach Bennett start to slide. Their feet tip over the ledge. Then their legs. They clutch the ledge but Justice loses his grip. In an instant, Coach Bennett lets one hand go to catch Justice.

‘Hold on, you two!’ I yell, sprinting towards the pole like I’m trying to save a try.

‘I can’t hold much longer!’ shouts Coach Bennett, losing his grip on Justice.

The crocodile has half of its body out of the water, waiting for room service and then I see Justice slide his hand into the pocket of his clown costume. He pulls out an object, kisses it, then drops it. It looks like a white tablet. Already, the crocodile has seen it and it erupts from the water to catch it in his mouth.

‘Heads up Deadly!’ yells Justice, looking down at me.

The tablet is heading straight for the crocodile’s throat but when his strong jaws snap down on it, the craziest thing happens. From deep inside the reptile, a loud rumbling noise can be heard. It travels up from its tail and vibrates through its belly. As the noise gets louder, the croc stops moving. His eyes open wide in surprise when — BOOM!

An almighty explosion blows the head clean off the crocodile and it shoots off into the audience! It looks like an asteroid of green skin, teeth and guts, speeding through space.

Popcorn, hotdogs and soft drinks go flying as everyone tries to escape the croc head — and the smell. It makes the stinky sweaty smell of the Brisbane Broncos dressing sheds seem like perfume!

Yikes! The croc head is hurtling towards Nanna but she just puts her deadly face on, and she stands up with her fists clenched, ready for a fight. With one almighty swing, Nanna gives the flying croc head a swift uppercut, sending it back the way it came.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite make it back into the ring, but gets stuck on the head of the boy with the Cowboys hat who now looks part human, part reptile.

The crowd panics. Everyone runs towards the exits, holding their noses and their children. The circus animals that aren’t locked up jump their fences in fright and run off into the streets of Mount Isa.

Coach Bennett finally lets go of Justice and they plunge into the pool next to the headless body of the crocodile. I am about to dive in to help when I remember something. If I go under the water, I’ll turn back into my eleven-year-old self. Instead, I drag them out by their clothes.

Justice falls to his knees, exhausted. His clown make-up has washed off, except for some red paint around his mouth.

‘What the heck did you do to old man crocodile?’ I ask in my deep Deadly D voice. Justice coughs up some water and shrugs his shoulders.

‘I used the Bumzooka,’ he says.

‘What’s the Bumzooka?’

‘Talk to Menzie Ten,’ says Justice, taking a quick glance at the headless croc.