Lapses

I can’t just be tracking the lapses,

the deprived and lovelorn about to leap from the ledge,

leaving out the feathery transient random

melodies, some centuries old,

whole symphonies that still stir that stew of fantasy

and biology somewhere inside the calliope

we call the senses. And what is it about

being naked, for example, that made Whitman crazy,

made him a peacock display of self-pleasure?

And why can I still see him ghostly on the ferry

rubbing against strangers who think his touch accidental?

You can almost hear Methodist hymnals inside them

as they look for a property beside the grave site

they’re entitled to, to save them from this mindful business,

when all those other tenses—those jobs and promises

and bruises flake away like rust on a barge

before it’s repainted that toenail shade of red. So

we must go out to sea, the boundless, bountiful sea

of old literatures, with which we imbue

water imagery—I say imbue because I write for myself

and strangers. I try to shape my strangeness

with speed and gravity, the confusion

you uncover just getting to unknow yourself, the part

that’s celibate and monklike, without the flies around it.