The time has come for me to get my kite flying, stretch out in the sun, kick off my shoes, and speak my piece.
—Harpo Marx
Wednesday, May 27, 1:59 p.m.
At the cemetery
At Gaga’s grave
I came here today because I needed to talk to Gaga. I mean, I knew she couldn’t actually talk back. But I told her what was on my mind, and I tried to imagine what her responses would be. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi, Gaga. I came here today because I needed to talk to you.
Gaga: April, you can always talk to me.
Me: Even now?
Gaga: (laughing) Even now.
Me: A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. That makes it sound like you’re somewhere exotic like Prague or Paris, or even somewhere nearby, like Birmingham, and that you’re going to be back soon. I wish that were the case. There are other people I could talk to, but when I had really important things to talk about, you were my person.
Gaga: Smart choice!
Me: (waiting quietly for Gaga to stop laughing at her own joke)
Gaga: Sorry! So what brings you here today?
Me: A couple of things. First, Leo and I started going out.
Gaga: That’s exciting!
Me: Yeah. It was. We had plans to spend the summer together, but then he told me he decided to go to Costa Rica to do research on monkey brains with his grandma.
Gaga: She sounds like an interesting grandma.
Me: I should have been happy for him. But when he told me he was leaving, I got mad. That was immature, right?
Gaga: What do you think?
Me: I think if you were here, you’d say something like: “April, it’s natural to be disappointed when things don’t turn out the way you’d planned. I know you were looking forward to spending the summer with that boy, but you’ll find a way to make the summer great.” Or maybe: “This is a blessing in disguise. Him going away gives you the perfect opportunity to do something useful with your time, like improving your knitting skills.”
Gaga: I wouldn’t say that. I know you wouldn’t want to spend your summer knitting.
Me: (laughing) There’s more.
Gaga: I hope it’s not serious.
Me: You know Brynn and I haven’t spoken since January. She was mad Sophie and I became such good friends, and she got even madder when Billy and Sophie started going out. She hasn’t spoken to either of them since January either. But the person she was most angry with was me.
Gaga: What a shame. I always liked Brynn.
Me: I don’t know if I should tell you this, but she didn’t even come to your funeral, which I thought was pretty wrong of her.
Gaga: People have their reasons.
Me: But she did apologize to Sophie for how she treated her. I know how much Brynn hates to apologize, so it must have taken a lot for her to do that.
Gaga: What are you going to do?
Me: I’m thinking about telling her I know about her apology to Sophie.
Gaga: You know what I always said. Trust your gut.
Me: I thought you were going to say everyone deserves a second chance.
Gaga: That too.
Me: I’ll think about that, but there’s one more thing I need to tell you. Sophie and Emma left three days ago, and Sophie and I had our first fight. It’s unbelievable to me that Sophie lived here for a year and we were best friends. We almost always got along, and then the day that she left, we didn’t. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but it was tragic it happened the way it did.
Gaga: That kind of tragedy falls into the fixable category.
Me: I kind of agree. I’ve thought about calling her, but I’m not sure what to say because I don’t think I did anything wrong. The problem is that Sophie thinks I did.
Gaga: You know what I’d say about that.
Me: Standing on ceremony is for fools?
Gaga: Bingo!
Me: No one says “Bingo” anymore, Gaga.
Gaga: (laughing)
Me: Even though I’m mad at Sophie, I miss her.
Gaga: I have no doubt she misses you too.
Me: So you think I should call her?
Gaga: You’re so smart, April. I don’t know why you’re bothering to ask me the question when you already know the answer.
Me: Thanks.
Gaga: I’m always happy to help.
Me: Gaga, there’s one more thing.
Gaga: Is it serious?
April: Very. I miss you.
Gaga: I miss you too, April.