I think I’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens.
—Charlie Brown
Monday, April 20, 7:15 a.m.
Happy birthday to me!
My fifteenth birthday is off to a surprisingly great start. Leo called from college and woke me up with the birthday song. He said he set his alarm so he’d be the first person to serenade me. It meant a lot, since I don’t think of college students as people who like to get up early and sing.
At breakfast, May and June gave me handmade cards. Mom made birthday pancakes and put a candle in my stack. Dad had to leave for the diner early, but he promised he’d pick me up from school and we’d go straight to the DPS before dinner with Gaga and the rest of my family.
Even the weather is cooperating. There’s no humidity, so I have straight, frizz-free hair.
So far, so good!
1:17 p.m.
Study Hall
My day continues to go shockingly well.
Sophie and Billy were waiting for me at my locker this morning with cupcakes Sophie made. In homeroom, Mrs. Monteleone had everyone sing “Happy Birthday.” At lunch, my cousin Harry got my tray without asking, which meant I didn’t have to hobble through the lunch line looking for help like I’ve been doing since I came back to school on crutches after spring break.
And while we waited for English class to start, I even had a pleasant conversation with Billy when he brought up a controversial topic.
“You’re going to have a double celebration this year,” he said. Billy reminded me I get to celebrate my birthday on birthday night at camp this summer. Then he grinned. “Just one of the many perks you have to look forward to as one of the oldest campers.”
I figured my birthday was the perfect opportunity to tell Billy something he didn’t want to hear. “I’m not going back to camp.”
Billy looked unpleasantly surprised. “You have to go back,” he said. “It’s our last summer.”
I didn’t think I should have to remind Billy that the previous summer at camp wasn’t so great for me. What would I have said?
Hey Billy, remember how you, Brynn, and I became best friends in third grade, and then you and Brynn started going out last summer and neither of you bothered to tell me? Well, that sort of ruined camp, which is why I’m not going back. Oh, and then you broke up with Brynn and now she’s not speaking to you, or to me for that matter. So I don’t see either of us going back. But have fun!
It didn’t seem like that was the thing to say to Billy, especially when he’d brought me cupcakes this morning.
“I know what you’re thinking,” said Billy, like he could read my mind. “We can’t change what happened. But it doesn’t mean we can’t have a good summer this year.”
Fortunately, the bell rang then and class started, which meant I didn’t have to tell Billy I didn’t want to spend my birthday talking about something I had no intention of doing. I think he got it anyway.
“Just enjoy your birthday,” he mouthed.
Maybe the birthday gods are with me after all.
4:54 p.m.
Cursed!
My birthday curse is real and so much worse than I ever knew it could be. When the last bell rang, I went to meet Dad on the south side of school where he’d planned to pick me up, so we could go to the DPS. But as soon as I got my crutches and myself into the car, I could tell something was wrong.
“April, there’s been a change of plans,” he said. His tone was so serious it scared me. “Gaga had to go to the hospital,” said Dad. “She was having trouble breathing this morning, so Willy took her. Your mom, Aunt Lilly, and Aunt Lila are there with her.”
I felt tears forming. “Is she going to be OK?”
“We’re going to go pick up May and June,” Dad said, which didn’t answer my question, so I repeated it. “I don’t know,” Dad said honestly. “The hospital is running some tests, and we’re going to have to wait to find out.”
I nodded. But as we drove to the middle school to get May and then to the elementary school for June, I felt fear creeping up inside me like a fast-growing ivy vine in a cartoon. The feeling started in my gut and made its way up my esophagus and into my throat. By the time we got home, I felt like the fear had crept into every corner of my body. I called Sophie and Harry to see if they had heard what was going on and if they knew more than I did.
The only thing I found out is that they’re just as worried as I am.
9:14 p.m.
Home from dinner
By dinnertime, Mom was still at the hospital, so Dad took May, June, Sophie, and me out to celebrate my birthday. Honestly, I didn’t even want to go. I wasn’t hungry, but Dad said we had to eat. We went to Mamma Mia, my favorite pizza place in Faraway, and I still had to force myself to eat a slice. When the server brought out a piece of cake with the candle in it, I closed my eyes and made a wish that Gaga will be OK.
It’s funny—though not in a ha-ha way—the difference a day can make. Yesterday, I thought it sounded lame to be celebrating my fifteenth birthday at a family dinner.
Tonight, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.
10:02 p.m.
Mom just called to tell me good night. “April, I’m so sorry we couldn’t all be together for your birthday.” Her voice sounded tired.
“How’s Gaga?” I asked.
“She’s sleeping now,” said Mom. “We’ll know more in the next few days.”
“Are you coming home tonight?” I asked.
“I’m here with Aunt Lila and Aunt Lilly. At least one of us will stay at the hospital tonight. Emma took Willy home. He was exhausted.”
As hard as this was for everyone, I could only imagine how Willy must be feeling. It’s bad enough that Gaga is sick, but I’m sure he’s also thinking about the fact that Emma and Sophie are moving back to New York when Sophie is done with school. “How’s Willy doing?”
“That’s sweet of you to ask,” said Mom. She paused. “He’s having a hard time with all of this.”
When she said that, a feeling of guilt swept over me. “Mom, do you think I’m being punished for all that stuff I said about my birthday being cursed?”
“April, Gaga has cancer. Her being in the hospital has nothing to do with anything you did or said.”
Hopefully, Mom is right. But when I hung up the phone, I closed my eyes. I’d already made my birthday wish at Mamma Mia, but I said a prayer that Gaga will be OK.
I sincerely hope birthday prayers get special consideration.