I didn’t realize how late I’d slept, but it was mid-morning by the time I made it down to the kitchen.
Anna served me a cinnamon roll that was warm from the oven and a coffee and wished me a Merry Christmas. I thanked her and asked her if she’d seen Danny, giving her some lame excuse about how I had stuffed one of his Christmas cards in my purse at the party the night before and wanted to give it back to him.
She smiled politely as though she believed me and said he’d come and gone over an hour before, but he’d mentioned he’d be painting at the dean’s cottage all day. Suddenly feeling shy about the night before, I said I didn’t want to interrupt him, but Anna suggested I bring the card to dinner at three and that even though they were Jewish, she and Doreen had a nice Christmas meal planned for us.
Not able to refuse their invitation, I thanked her and assured her I’d be there.
~ ♥ ~
After my breakfast, I returned to my dorm to go online and wish my parents a Merry Christmas. I was kind of dreading it, but figured they’d probably already tried to contact me. Sure enough, when I opened my computer, there was a video message from them they’d sent from the ship, complete with air-kisses and many ‘miss you’s and ‘love you’s. I didn’t have it in me to send them a video message back, but took a smiling selfie and Photoshopped a Santa hat on it before sending it to them.
I doubted they’d notice my smile was fake.
I picked up my phone and turned it on. The texts filtered in, making my phone sound like a slot machine with all the successive bells going off.
I started with the text from Chelly. It seemed the Santa-hat selfie was a thing, because she’d sent me one, too, though hers had a lot more cleavage showing than the one I’d sent to my parents. I laughed at it and sent her one back, pulling my shirt down and bending forward to do it. It wasn’t exactly obscene, especially with my almost non-existent cleavage, but I knew it would make her laugh, too.
There were several texts from Rob, which made me mad all over again, but... I exhaled, reminding myself it was Christmas and not the time to be mad at people.
I skipped the ones he’d sent the day he left and went right for today’s: Happy Christmas, M. Open your e-mail. Unless you hate me, then PLEASE open your e-mail.
I was still mad, but he did make me smile, so I opened up my Rosewood e-mail and saw a note from him. I took a deep breath and clicked it open.
To: emmeline.somerville@ the-rosewood-academy.com
From: robert.prescott@the-rosewood-academy.com
Subject: It’s Christmas – please forgive me
Message: Emmie, if you are reading this then thank you for not hating me so much that you instantly deleted it. I’m so, so sorry about what happened. I’ve sent you a bunch of texts, but I’m sure you’ve deleted them and you have every right to be upset with me for deceiving you that way. I never should have arranged for that phone and pretended to be Brooklyn. That was really stupid and insensitive. If it makes you feel better (I’m sure it won’t) I never had any intention of it going as far as it did with you and I thought it would just be you giving her updates about school. I even blew Dave off so I wouldn’t have to deal with that awkwardness, which means I owe him an apology, too...
I stopped reading, closing my eyes as I was reminded that this wasn’t just about me. “Oh poor Dave,” I said aloud, feeling bad for him now, too. Should I tell him about Brooklyn? What could I even tell him? I didn’t know anything other than she was in hiding. Maybe. I took a deep breath and returned to the message.
“...just know that I do like you and I’ll understand if you do hate me forever, but don’t hold this against Brooklyn. She’s in a safe place right now and I’m sure she does want to talk to you, but even I can’t get a hold of her, so it’s not possible to connect you with her just yet. I hope that changes soon, but until then, you’ll have to trust me when I say that she’s innocent in all of this and she absolutely didn’t want to leave Rosewood. As a token of my sincerest apologies, attached are my gifts to you. The first is a detailed analysis of your ecommerce site and how best to optimize your software. I’ve also created a new matrix for it that I think will solve those problems we talked about. I’m sure you’ll have no problem installing the updates and wish you the best with it. And the second thing is the Christmas card I made for you. It seems stupid now, but I did it the morning before we had brunch, before you hated my guts. I hope it makes you smile and that one day you can forgive me. This e-mail address will be deactivated by the new year, but I’ll have my phone for a while, so you can text me at my number. I’ll be off the grid a bit, so I may not get back to you right away, but I’ll see the message. The phone I used for Brooklyn has already been disconnected.
Once again, I’m really sorry, M. I really wish things could have been different.
Merry Christmas
Rob
I took a few deep breaths before I opened the second picture file.
Which I couldn’t help but smile at. Then I laughed. Like really laughed.
Rob had Photoshopped his head on Colin Firth’s body in a still from Pride and Prejudice. He’d even added a thought bubble that said, “I’m the sexiest man alive!”
It was hard to stay mad at a guy who made a badly Photoshopped poster for me. And fixed my website problems.
I sighed. I just really wished I knew what had happened and could see Brooklyn with my own eyes to make sure she was okay. But I guess at this point, it was time to forgive him and take his apology at face value. Time to let it go.
I opened a text from my phone. You’re forgiven. Thanks for the gifts. Merry Christmas.
As soon as I hit send, I felt a thousand times lighter.
~ ♥ ~
Dinner was awkward.
One orphaned student, one actual orphan with tattoos and two middle-aged Jewish ladies along with a few assorted staff members sitting in a giant dining room that normally held hundreds. It was eerie, though I did appreciate the effort Anna and Doreen had made. They’d set up a small table by the big fireplace where someone had laid a roaring fire.
Anna stood up and made a toast, thanking everyone for attending our little dinner party as though we’d all chosen to be there. I looked at Danny and he gave me a shy smile. I hadn’t gotten him alone yet to ask him about his note, but knew after dinner, I’d have time to chat with him.
Jerry, the stable manager, said grace and we all dug into the food. For some reason, having Danny there made it not as lonely as I would have expected. And I suspected he felt the same way.
We stuffed ourselves on all the delicious food and everyone helped clean up after dessert. A few people lingered at the table over coffee, but I couldn’t sit there any longer after such a big meal.
“I need to take a walk,” I announced to no one in particular, though I did half hope that someone in particular would hear me and join me.
He did. “Me, too,” Danny said, patting his suddenly distended belly. “That was so good, but I think you’re going to have to roll me out of here.”
“After you roll me,” I said, sticking my belly out as far as I could.
We left the dining room side by side and I looked out through the big French doors into the snow-covered courtyard. “Looks cold,” I said, not really feeling like going up for a coat.
“We could just do a few laps of the building,” he suggested.
I nodded. “That sounds like a plan.”
We walked down the main hall, our footsteps echoing off the marble floors and high ceilings the only sounds.
“About that note,” I said, when I was sure we were far enough away from the dining room that no one else would be around.
I noticed him go tense beside me, but I continued when he didn’t say anything. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He stayed quiet until I stopped walking and turned to look up at him. “Danny? Why did you say you were sorry?”
He dropped his eyes. “For showing up. For kissing you. For telling you all that. For losing it. For...everything.” he shook his head.
“If I remember correctly, I kissed you. And I wanted you to tell me,” I said. “You have no reason to be sorry or embarrassed for losing it. What happened to you is horrible and if you didn’t lose it when talking about it, I would worry you weren’t human.”
He nodded, but didn’t look convinced.
“Maybe you could use to talk to someone,” I suggested.
His entire body went rigid. “Like a shrink.” He said angrily. It wasn’t a question, either, making me realize I’d just stepped over a line.
“I...just maybe to help with...”
He put up a palm, interrupting me. “I don’t need fixing.”
“I never said that. I just thought maybe you could...”
His eyes narrowed and I snapped my mouth shut on my words.
“Oh this is rich,” he said. “The girl who can’t sleep when she’s alone is talking to me about counseling. I’ll tell you what, princess, I’m not one of your charity projects. Leave me the hell alone.”
As I stood there, slack-jawed and trying my hardest not to cry, he turned on his heel and walked away.