How would you act, if you didn’t care what people thought?
Who would you be, if you knew for sure you were worthy, loved and accepted?
What would you do, if you knew failure was just a stepping stone, not a final resting place?
How much more time and energy would you have, if you could confidently say no and ask for what you want?
Chances are, if you’re picking up this book, you’ve been playing a much smaller game than you’re capable of. For a long time, you’ve had a hunch there’s another way of living that, until now, has been beyond your grasp. You know, if only you could let go of the burden of worrying what people think, you’d do things very differently. You sense it’s time to take up a bit more space, to speak a little louder, to be OK with being seen. It’s time to cast off the layers of fear, insecurity and negative beliefs about yourself that have weighed you down. And to reveal the real you, who is capable, strong, confident and worthy.
Women tell me time and time again about their constant worries about other people’s opinions, about the pressure to look perfect and the crippling self-doubt and shyness that keeps them from speaking up. About the strain of needing to say yes to every request and invite, which leaves them burnt out and overwhelmed. And about the angst of trying to please everyone, all of the time.
I too have felt broken, unworthy and ashamed, just for being myself.
I’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to avoid situations where I might get criticized because it just felt too painful.
I’ve been mute and red-faced in meetings because I felt my ideas weren’t worth sharing.
I have shaken with fear because I felt like a fraud about to be found out at any moment.
I didn’t dare to dream because I thought I’d never amount to anything.
I’ve found it impossible to ask for what I want (even from my boyfriend) because I was scared of the other person’s reaction.
I’ve censored myself, dumbed myself down and agreed to things I didn’t believe in because I wanted people to like me.
But I’m not doing any of that any more. And my hope is, after reading this book, you won’t have to, either. This book is all about becoming the most confident version of yourself: bold, strong and self-assured. It’s about owning your own inner bravery and using that to move past your comfort zone and towards fulfilling your beautiful potential.
After all, we’re living in a new world with infinite opportunities … if only we could get past the things holding us back. Most of us would like more confidence – but why is it so elusive? It seems like some women are just born with it, with a boldness that’s second nature. And it’s true; some people do find it easier to be more confident than others.
But what if you’re not one of those natural-born assertive types? What if you’re a people pleaser and crippled with self-doubt? What if saying no to your partner already seems too much, let alone asking your manager for a pay rise? For those of us who don’t currently have iron-clad confidence, there’s good news. And it is this: confidence isn’t a trait that you’re either blessed with or not. In fact, it’s a skill you can develop, learn and improve on. It’s a state of mind you can cultivate. And it’s an action that you can start taking right now.