I have had sexual fantasies from as young as eight years old. My first was about the postman, whom I’d imagine posting a letter to my bedroom with a big old-fashioned movie kiss for me. Since then, uniforms have always been my gateway to arousal; the male pin-ups in my mind are doctors, firefighters, sailors, soldiers, even park rangers. Perhaps I’m just so full of gratitude for these resourceful, brave and compassionate souls that I want to make love to them all. Yes, and sometimes, all at once.

During the pandemic, I started to talk very openly with my husband about who I thought of while we were making love in our bedroom. Just as I orgasm, it’s often the broad-shouldered soldier with the greasy brown shoulder-length hair down between my thighs, not him, as I lie on his canvas flysheet between missile attacks, while the rest of his squad watch from their bunks. Astonishingly, my husband’s face became radiant with lust at my honesty. I felt empowered and delighted when he asked me to describe more. Consequently, exploring and playing with the idea of having a ‘third’ in our relationship has become a fascinating, evolving sexual fantasy. The following is our most recent scenario, told as closely as it is in our bedroom. We call it Billy the Third.

Our fallen soldier arrives unexpectedly one dark, frosty morning. Our contract is to make him happier. I open the door, and he removes his threadbare khaki balaclava. He doesn’t say hello, but I do and usher him in. He walks straight through, doesn’t remove his rancid boots, and finds my husband. They shake hands, and I walk along the hallway inhaling the kerosene and gunmetal smell he left trailing behind him. I offer him toast from the kitchen counter (we hadn’t got round to assembling the new dining table in time). He ignores the toast and asks to walk with my husband. They come home an hour later with a rainbow trout; my husband delights in telling me that Billy caught it with his bare hands. Billy prepares the fish with the penknife from his pocket, and he doesn’t mind me standing there watching him cook it. He splits it three ways, and we eat in silence.

When we finish, Billy asks why branches are covering the lawn, and I tell him we haven’t cleared them since the storm. He goes out and starts a fire using just garden debris and the flint and steel from around his neck. While I wash plates, my husband asks if I’m happy taking Billy in, and I tell him, rather blissfully, that I’m still taking him in. I’m so impressed by him that I wonder if there is anything he can’t do, I say. My husband laughs and reminds me that he can’t smile. Before we retire to bed, we notice that Billy isn’t in the spare bedroom. Instead, he’s on the floor, screwing the new dining-room table together. My husband is in just a pair of Bshetr underpants, and I’m commando in my black silk bed slip, but we climb over and try to help him with the job.

When it’s done, Billy settles in the corner, his knees up to his chest, mud speckling the leather of his boot soles. We sit down on either side of him, then he shows us his cock, which is longer and pinker and wider and shinier than any I have ever seen before. It is a saintly stake of flesh that points to the heavens, aloof and destined to do good. He gives it a few soft strokes, and I see some pre-come glisten on his head. I jump onto the new table, open my legs, and play with my vagina. I feel two tongues take hold of my clitoris and anus, which makes me feel so slippery and wet. After minutes I’m on the edge of an orgasm, so I ask for more, and Billy hovers over me, his dog tag dangling in my face, delving his cock deep into my vagina while my husband enters my anus. The feel of their sliding girths rubbing together through my sopping dividing wall is eye-spinning. I come. I writhe around the table, clutch at my tits and feel free. Both sit back down next to each other, cocks in hand. Then I take both of their penises into my giddy mouth to delight at their smiles looking back at me.

White British • Pagan • Between £15,000 and £29,000 • Heterosexual • Married/in a civil partnership • Yes