Interlude: The Horowitz Dog Cognition Lab by the Numbers

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Year founded: 2008

Number of studies run since then: 12

Student researchers involved with the lab: 40

Number of owners who have called me “Dr. Dog” to my face: 2

Number of white lab coats kept at lab: 3

Journal publications featuring the colon-enabled title phrasing Clever Title: Longer Explanatory Title Using Jargon of the Field: 9

DEMOGRAPHICS

Number of live dogs kept at the dog lab: 0

Number of life-sized plush dogs kept at the dog lab: 2

Number of life-sized plush dogs given names by experimenters: 2

Number of owned dog participants: 566

Ratio of male:female subjects: 1:.98

Tail-waggers: 565

Tail-between-the-leggers: 1

Number of studies Merlot, a sheltie, has participated in: 5

Number of different breeds: 84

Six most popular names, across studies: Charlie, Daisy, Lucy, Oliver, Oscar, Penny

Number of people who noticed that the previous list item was not a number: 0

Average number of legs of dogs in recent study: 3.97

Blind dogs: 2

Deaf dogs: 1

Smallest dog: 7 lbs.

Largest dog: 155 lbs.

EXPERIMENTAL DETAILS

Dogs injured during experiments: 0

Dogs poked with a needle during experiments: 0

Number of studies in which dog is intentionally deceived: 0

Number of studies in which owner is intentionally deceived: 1

Percentage of studies using hot dogs, freeze-dried liver or salmon, or cheese cubes: 100

Size of experimental room used at Barnard College for studies: 11 ft. × 11 ft.

Neighboring choir practices disrupted by subject vocalizations: 1

Number of months of average observational study: 14

Number of submitters of videos of dog-human play in citizen–science study: 239

Number of countries represented by submitters: 19

BEHAVIORAL TENDENCIES

Highest number of hot dogs (edible) deployed in single study: 34

Farthest distance owner traveled to participate in 30-minute study: 210 miles

Average number peeing episodes (canid) per study: 2

Dogs expressing fear at a floor fan with balloons on it: 15

Dogs happily popping balloons: 1

Number of times experimenter says “Hi puppy! What’s this, puppy?” in one study: 144

Average time subjects sniffed canisters containing novel odors: 3.3 seconds

Length of time one outlier subject sniffed the canisters: 120 seconds

Percentage of dogs who would still eat a hot dog when sprayed with lavender, mint, or vinegar: 36

Of 14 dogs, number who immediately ate a forbidden treat when their owner left the room: 1

Percentage of dogs with obedience training classes who spontaneously show the guilty look upon seeing their owners: 100

OWNER BEHAVIOR

Ten most common words owners say to their dogs in a dog-human play study: you; good; it; get/getting; got, gotta; go, going, gonna; come, c’mon; (dog’s name); girl; yay

Percentage of people who preferred dogs with large eyes over dogs with small eyes: 59

Percentage of owners willing to submit their smelly T-shirts for a study of dog recognition of human odor: 100

Types of human-dog play behavior suggested to Sony to be useful in design of their pet robot Aibo: 4

Number of types of human-dog play behavior Sony used: 0I

EXPERIMENTAL PARAPHERNALIA DETAILS

Video cameras destroyed in service: 4

Number of times dog-shaped robot used in study attacked by subjects: 2

Rolls of sticky tape available to remove dog hair from clothing and chairs: 7

Number of toys dogs get to choose from as reward at end of study: 25

Number of dog toys dogs usually pick: 1

Number of dog toys one subject picked: 11

BIOLOGICAL PHENOMENA

Bites suffered by experimenter during studies: 0

Poo “accidents”: 0 (we don’t call them accidents: we’re pretty sure they were all on purpose)

Number of studies involving owner collection of their dog’s urine: 2

Number of pee cups ordered, two-year period: 220

Number of studies involving dog drool collection: 1

Number of studies involving human drool collection: 1

Number of times I have written “p value” as “pee value”: 3

Amount of dog saliva on plush dogs at end of study: immeasurable


I. Instead, the Aibo was programmed to spontaneously dance for you.