TROUBLE DOG
“So,” I asked, “what’s the object of this game?”
The Adalwolf smiled. “To win.”
We were sitting in a virtual environment—a recreation of the Palace of Versailles. Beyond the high windows, ornate gardens stretched away. Fountains sparkled in the clean white sunlight. Adalwolf had dressed his avatar in a dark silk robe. His bony wrists protruded from its sleeves. I had contented myself with my default option: a shaggy-haired, androgynous-looking woman in a battered trench coat. A marble chessboard sat on the table between us.
“And how do you do that?”
“You capture your opponent’s king.”
“That’s this tall one?”
“Yes.”
“That’s it?”
“In essence, yes.”
“And what about these horsey ones?”
The Adalwolf gave a tight smile. “The knights.”
“Yes, I like those.” I leaned over the board and tapped one of the pieces in my first rank. “And these are the prawns?”
“Pawns.”
“And these cock-shaped ones?”
“Got it.”
“Are you ready to play?”
“I think so. Who goes first?”
“I do.”
Adalwolf reached out a thin arm and plucked a knight from the back row. He moved it over the pawns and placed it on its destined square.
I frowned in puzzlement.
Adalwolf sighed. “What’s the matter?”
“That’s it? That’s your move?”
“It’s a classic opening gambit.”
“It doesn’t seem to have achieved much.”
“I suppose you can do better?”
“Of course.” I leant back in my chair and cracked my knuckles over my head. I braced my feet against the tiled floor and grinned. “Watch this.”
I sprang forward. The fingers of my right hand jabbed Adalwolf in the throat. He started to fall backwards, and I flipped the table with my left. By the time the last marble pieces rattled down onto the floor, I was kneeling on his chest with his king held triumphantly in my hand.
“I win,” I said.
Adalwolf coughed, massaging his battered larynx. “You really don’t understand chess, do you?”
I sniffed and clambered to my feet. “On the contrary.” I let the marble king fall from my fingers. It bounced off his ribs with a hollow thump and rolled away across the floor. “You just don’t understand tactics.”