"Merry!" Kelly ran up to me. "I've been looking all over for you! The battle is about to start!"
As we tried to run gracefully while being strangled by our corsets, I told Kelly about Riley's case in halting, breathy statements.
"Seriously, Merry, don't you have enough on your plate—what with your imagined dead man and the missing leg to worry about?"
"You would take Riley's side," I grumped.
She shook her head. "I'm not taking anyone's side. Riley is my boss, but you're my best friend. I don't take sides."
I thought about this as we made our way down to the battlefield, where we joined all of the girls, except for Betty, already waiting for the reenactment to begin.
"Where's Betty?" Kelly asked.
"Mrs. Wrath sent her on an errand." Lauren winked at me.
"Hey!" I stopped in my tracks. "You're supposed to be with her!"
Lauren shrugged and turned back to the battlefield.
Kelly eyed me suspiciously. "What kind of errand?"
"For hairpins," I lied. "I can't keep my wig on straight."
My best friend shook her head. "You've had that problem all of your life. Hey! Look! It's Alister!"
The provost was pacing back and forth on the field with Juliette Dowd behind him. At one point, he took out his pocket watch and, after examining it, put it back.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" He held his arms up.
Juliette applauded happily next to him. Ugh. What a suck-up. Then I noticed that Kelly was doing the same thing. At one point she even waved at the man. Yeesh.
"We are about to witness the first Battle of Idiot Creek."
"First battle? Ugh," I started.
Kelly shushed me.
"On the first day of battle…" His deep bass voice carried well. He must've done this a lot. I wondered if he knew this was made up.
"The Union forces crossed over the creek in an attempt to drive the Confederates from Iowa. It was a bloody day for our boys in blue as they clashed with Johnny Reb again and again until they were finally driven back over the creek."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, for crying out—"
"Shhh!" The obnoxious tourist from earlier scowled at me. "This is historical!"
"No, it's not," I mumbled. Kelly elbowed me in the ribs. Thank God my corset took most of the blow.
"Today you'll see two artillery units in action," Provost Smith continued. "Cannon fire is very loud, so for those with sensitive hearing, you may wish to cover your ears."
This drew a giggle from the audience for reasons I didn't fully understand.
His voice went on, but blurred as I worried about Betty. She should be safe searching tents with everyone on the field, but was she really? What if she's in trouble? Could she read my mind and bring hair pins so that Kelly would believe my story?
The speech concluded as the crowd applauded enthusiastically. I turned my attention to the field. Riley and another general sat astride their horses, conferring with their men, who cheered whatever they'd said. Something similar happened on the Rebel side, except that they gave a strange yell that confused me.
"That's the famous Rebel yell," Kelly whispered to me. How did she know that?
"It sounds like a pack of howler monkeys," I muttered.
"Shhhh!" A sunburned, elderly man in a tank top that had a picture of Abe Lincoln riding a pterodactyl shushed me.
Really? I had to be quiet so that we could hear a battle?
A shot rang out, and that spurred the Union into action as they ran yelling toward the creek. A few men made an exaggerated attempt at crossing as if it was much larger, and the two officers cleared it as if it was a fence.
The 166th Artillery rolled out two cannons, and they began firing across the creek. The Rebels rolled out their own cannons (including mine) and began firing.
Men were fake dying now on both sides. The ones still standing began to clash man-to-man. That's when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A very short Union soldier was leading a group of three men, sneaking behind the Rebel artillery.
In a flash, the tiny soldier drew a sword and ran one of the Rebels through. He fell to the ground in surprise as the little Yank motioned for the rest to take out the artillery.
"Hey!" Juliette shouted from a few feet away. "That isn't supposed to happen!" She consulted a piece of paper in her hand and then squinted furiously as the Union soldiers began turning the cannons onto the Confederates.
"Is that Betty?" Kelly asked.
"I believe so." I tried to sound casual.
"Was this your errand?"
"Not really, but it is a good idea." After all, I did want my cannon back.
Betty screamed, "Freeeeeeeedom!" Then she spotted Kelly and me and disappeared.
"They were not supposed to take that cannon!" Juliette was spitting now.
It took all of my self-control not to tell her that, technically, the cannon was mine, and I'd never given the Confederates permission to use it.
"Who was that? Who led that charge!" the redhead was shrieking.
Provost Smith said something to her, and she quieted down. I'd give anything to find out what it was.
"I can't believe Betty did that!" Kelly seethed. "It's dangerous out there! What was she thinking?"
"You have to admit it though," I interrupted. "She looked like a real badass."
The little girls in front of me nodded, their eyes still on the field.
The warning from the Confederate soldiers popped into my mind. They would certainly know who had just invaded their cannons and turned them against their soldiers. I needed to talk to that kid. From here on out, she'd have a buddy alright…
Me.
The rest of the battle wrapped up pretty quickly. I wasn't too upset since my cannon was now in the hands of the Union. But Betty was going to get an earful. What she had done was dangerous, and I'd promised all the parents that the girls would never be in harm's way. Well, Betty's parents had given me a skeptical look but hadn't said anything more.
As we turned to go, we almost ran over Betty in her dress, ringlets in place, looking as innocent as Ike's donkey.
Kelly marched her back to the Ladies Aid Society tent. The other girls surrounded us once we got there.
"What were you doing?" Kelly demanded. "It's dangerous on those fields! You could've been killed!"
Betty shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about. I was right behind you guys the whole time."
Kelly stopped and whispered to me, "Was she?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea."
"We saw you leading men to take over the cannons." Kelly decided to go with this strategy.
"It wasn't me. I was with you," the girl calmly insisted.
The other girls were staying out of this fight—a decision I found intriguing. Were they in on the secret, or were they wondering if they could pull this off too? My guess was they couldn't. Betty was a master liar and would never crack under pressure. I was fairly certain that the others wouldn't be able to hold up under Kelly's scrutiny.
"Do you have proof that you were with us?" Kelly folded her arms over her chest.
"Do you have proof that I wasn't?" Betty mirrored her leader's actions.
We were going to be at this all day. Then I heard Juliette's voice screeching just outside.
"We'll deal with this later!" I hissed. "Juliette's on the prowl looking for that kid. And if she finds out it's one of you guys, we're toast!"
The flap flew open as Juliette stormed through, her face as red as her hair.
"Who was it? I should've known it would be you, Wrath!" She began to pace back and forth.
"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently. "And it's Mrs. Ferguson."
She stopped and pointed her finger at my face. "You know damn well what I'm talking about! One of your girls ruined the battle! No one was supposed to take over the artillery!"
"How can you ruin a battle that never happened in the first place?" I asked.
Juliette closed the distance between us. "I wrote that battle! It would've been perfect if that hadn't happened. Damn it!"
Kelly stepped forward, ever the peacemaker. "Calm down, please. You are swearing in front of Girl Scouts."
For a split second, Juliette froze. Sadly, she thawed quickly and walked past each girl, examining them closely.
"It wasn't any of us," Ava stepped forward to say. "We were all together outside the caution tape. Which, if you're actually going for authenticity, isn't very authentic."
"Really?" Juliette sneered. "Do you expect me to believe that it wasn't one of you?"
Ava nodded. "Scout's honor!"
Each and every girl held up the Scout sign and nodded. Which was great. It was also bad because each and every one of them was lying. Kelly visibly winced. It pained her to see the girls invoke the oath for such a lie.
But she didn't see what I saw. Every girl had their left hand behind their backs, fingers crossed. That worked for me.
"There," I said. "You see? It was a misunderstanding. Obviously the girls are telling the truth. What about those Magnolia Girls? It could've been one of them."
"Or a renegade Boy Scout," Hannah offered.
"Or a pygmy," Betty added.
Lauren offered her usual strange perspective. "I believe it was a goat walking on two legs."
"At any rate, it wasn't one of us." I smiled broadly. It felt kind of good to best the Wicked Witch—even if we were all bald-faced liars.
The woman sputtered in place before throwing up her arms and storming out of the tent.
Kelly relaxed. "We are going straight to hell for that."
"Nah." I waved her off. "We're going to hell but for something boring like forging parents' signatures on permission forms."
"She's never going to believe those Magnolia Girls did it." Inez put her hands on her hips. "Betty, you can't do that again."
Betty shrugged. "Do what?"