"Welcome to the North." Betty bowed with a flourish as I joined the group.
Marie and the other girls wrinkled their noses and pushed past her. To her credit, Betty acted as if that slight hadn't bothered her. It would be a mistake to think this, however, because Betty was at her most dangerous when you didn't expect it. She once waited two years to get revenge on a kid who had made fun of her on the playground. I was pinkie sworn to secrecy when I found out, but I can tell you it involved bear repellant and dry ice.
If Kelly was surprised by the similarities between her and Kim, she didn't show it. Instead, she motioned to the row of folding wood chairs she'd borrowed just to seat everyone. Soo Jin had to bow out since she was fixing the arm I broke. "Hershey bars and graham crackers?" Brooke made a face. "Why would you give us something that's commercially made?"
Kelly apologized. "I am sorry. We didn't have enough time to make these things."
"Oh well," Kim breezed. "It can't be helped. It's the spirit of the thing that matters, right, ladies?"
I went to introduce my troop.
Mary started the inquisition. "How many reenactments have you ladies done?"
"This is the first one," Kelly replied.
The other two leaders exchanged glances. "Oh," Mary said with a fake smile that could wilt magnolias. "That explains a lot really."
Kelly intervened quickly. "Tell us about the Magnolia Girls!"
Kim spoke up. "We were founded at the beginning of the 19th century. The Magnolia Girls were dedicated to the preservation of Southern manners."
I wanted to say that was pretty rich for some girls from Bladdersly.
Marie and the girls stood up and began reciting some sort of oath.
"A Magnolia Girl is a precious and pure flower, making the world a lovelier place through grace and gentility."
Brooke took over. "A Magnolia Girl is kind and caring—a pillar of the Three Values."
The girl who'd been introduced as Claire continued. "Family, Church, Community. Those are the domain of the Magnolia Girl."
"Oh brother," Betty whispered, rolling her eyes.
Simone followed with, "A Magnolia Girl maintains the standards of cleanliness and godliness."
"Seriously?" Inez whispered.
Tara added, "For those are the tenets of gracious living and a life filled with beauty."
Creepily, the four Kates stood and spoke in perfect unison. "In the eyes of God and our ancestors, we happily submit to this oath and swear to continue the tradition of the true, glorious Southern lady."
Everyone was silent for a moment that ran a smidge too long. I wondered if I should have the girls do the same with the Girl Scout Law but doubted that they'd memorized it. And why should they? We'd been an active troop that had better things to do than memorize a 100-plus-year-old credo.
"What does that mean?" Caterina asked what the rest of us were thinking.
Marie looked like she really wanted to roll her eyes but restrained herself. "It means we are living graciously and upholding the fine values of femininity."
"What does that mean?" Hannah asked.
Claire got to her feet and announced in an exasperated tone, "It means we act like ladies, not tomboys."
The other Magnolia Girls made faces and bobbed their heads in agreement.
"So," one of the Kaitlyns asked, "you just walk around looking pretty and don't really do anything."
One of the Kates stood to answer. "That's a crude way of putting it, but it's close enough."
My girls looked at each other in surprise.
"You don't go camping?" Ava asked. "Ride horses?"
"Canoeing? Zipline? Ropes course?" Lauren added.
"Absolutely not," Simone sniffed.
"I'm sure we can think of something we have in common," Kelly soothed.
"Well," Betty said as she sharpened a really large Bowie knife with a whetstone. Had she won that gambling? "We're all girls."
I closed my eyes, waiting for her to say something catty, but she didn't. So I confiscated the knife and hid it in my tent.
"How about some s'mores?" Kelly brandished the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers like an olive branch.
My girls stepped forward, offering each Magnolia Girl a freshly sharpened stick with a marshmallow before taking one for themselves. I was proud of their manners but suspected that Kelly had told them to do this before our guests arrived.
Our guests stepped up carefully to the fire and roasted their marshmallows. My girls held back, presumably to impale these girls with their own sticks. Okay, so they didn't. That was just wishful thinking.
When they were done, they stepped over to Kelly, who helped them finish the s'mores. Then my troop stepped up and toasted theirs. Betty's caught fire, and some of the Magnolia Girls stepped back in horror as she waited for it to flame out, leaving her with the equivalent of a charcoal briquette.
"Perfect." Betty grinned as she took the charred remains of her marshmallow to Kelly.
The Magnolia Girls didn't comment. Which was a good move on their part. And none of them stepped forward to make another s'more. My girls were different, making at least three more apiece, which they gave to us to eat. We offered some to Mary and Kelly, who each accepted only one s'more, eating it delicately before declining another.
That left Kelly and me with eight each. I wasn't shy about making short work of them. Kelly ate two and set the plate aside. Then the girls started to mingle, and I took a seat with Kelly and the other two leaders.
After the strange beginning, I found Kim and Mary to be a bit more polite and a tad less judgy. And the girls chatted, with the Kates and Katelyns comparing curling ideas with each other. Betty was still a wild card, and as she sat off to the side, eating her charcoaled marshmallows, I knew she was cooking up something big.
Experience told me that whatever it was, it wouldn't happen tonight. I joined her and held out the Scout pin I'd found earlier.
"Is this yours?"
Betty took it from me and put it in her pocket with no explanation. "Something's up with these chicks," Betty mumbled under her breath. "I'm so glad we aren't Magnolia Girls." She stressed the last two words as if they were a disease.
"Yeah," I agreed. "Me too. But about the pin, don't you want to know where I found it?"
Betty took her eyes off of our guests. "Why? I know where you found it."
"You do?"
She nodded. "Ralph had it. I traded him."
"You traded your five-year camper pin?" I couldn't believe it. The girls had been so excited to get them that they had worn them every day for a week.
"For this." She reached under the tent flap and brought out a small officer's sword. It was sized just right for a child, but from what I could tell, it was very expensive.
"Why would Ralph trade you this for that pin?"
"Because he owed me $250 from the poker game and had no cash. Only this sword was worth more than that, so I gave him the pin. I was going to go back for it."
"What are you planning to do with that sword? Lead the charge tomorrow?"
Betty gave me a sideways glance. "Of course not. Why would you think I'd do that?"
"You're lying to me," I said. "Me. I was in the CIA. I know a lie when I hear one."
"Then don't ask silly questions that make me lie." Betty shrugged as if I was the idiot.
I didn't know quite how to respond to that.
"Ladies?" Mary stood up. "It's time to go. We must have our beauty rest."
The girls got into a line and, all together, said, "Thank you." Then they followed their leaders out of our area.
"Alright, girls." Kelly attempted to channel Mary. "It's time for bed."
"Can you handle this?" I asked. "I'd like to head to the medic tent for a few moments."
Kelly sighed heavily but nodded as Lauren and Betty helped douse the fire.
Soo Jin was in the medic tent talking to Ralph. I motioned with my head toward the tent flap, and she got up and left. I took her place.
"Hello, Ralph," I said.
"How did you know my name?"
"Betty told me. I think we should talk."
He looked around nervously, but we were totally alone in the tent with a few kerosene lanterns.
"I…I…didn't know what I was saying," he stammered. "I was delirious from heatstroke."
"Well," I said as I smoothed my skirts, "that would make sense if you hadn't said my name."
He clammed up. "Like I said, I didn't know what I was saying, and I must've just guessed your name."
The man was positively terrified. But not of me. Of someone else. Why?
"Do you know anything about a severed leg?"
Ralph went completely pale. He said nothing.
"You," I said lightly, "expect me to believe that you warned me by name for no reason and that you know nothing about a dismembered leg?"
"Um, yeah. That's right." He was growing a little bolder. After all, what would a woman in a gown do to him?
"Gee." I looked at his arm. Soo Jin had tied it into a splint. "That looks like it's still sore."
Ralph put his other arm over the broken one protectively. "Yeah, it does. I still don't know why you had to break it."
"Because you attacked," I said quietly. "Of course I was going to fight back. I just wish it had been your neck."
His good hand flew to his neck instinctively, and I patted the broken arm gently, hinting at what I could do.
He yowled, "You can't do that! I'll call that Asian doc back here!"
I kept my hand on the sore arm. "Actually, Dr. Body is a medical examiner. She's used to working on dead people only. It's possible she didn't set your arm right. And if you go even a day with a badly set arm, you're well on your way to amputation."
"You're bluffing!" he screeched.
I lightly patted the arm again, and he shrieked.
Doc came into the tent, and when he saw what appeared to be a soldier happily faking a wound, he waved at us and left.
"Why did he leave me?" Ralph whimpered.
"Because he thinks you're pretending to be hurt. That's what reenactors do, right?"
I moved as if to squeeze his arm, and he flinched. It was a bluff. I didn't really like torturing him. But that was all I had. I needed information—he had that information and wasn't giving it to me.
Besides, I was just messing with an arm I'd broken. It wasn't like I'd brought in a car battery with cables or waterboarding materials—even if that particular method tends to get results more quickly.
"I can't tell you," he whined.
"Oh. So a few moments ago you said you didn't know. Now you're saying you do know but can't tell me. It seems like we're getting somewhere."
"They'll kill me!" Ralph protested.
"They'll kill you? Hell, I'll break the other arm and both legs, and then I'll kill you!" I was, of course, bluffing. Can you imagine doing all that while wearing a corset?
But Ralph had totally clammed up. I was just about to put my other hand where the break had been when Soo Jin walked into the tent.
"What are you doing?" she asked me.
"Oh," Ralph whimpered. "Thank God you're here. This woman is torturing me!"
Soo Jin gave me a look. "Is that right, Merry? You're torturing this man?"
I shrugged. "He knows where the leg is."
The medical examiner's eyes narrowed. It must have pricked at her pride to have seen the leg, only for it to disappear. And she had been genuinely concerned for the leg's previous owner.
She smiled reassuringly at Ralph, who sighed heavily.
"Okay." She patted his good arm. "I'll go get my scalpels, and we'll find out just what this man really knows."
Ralph fainted. Damn. I should've seen that coming.