"Uh, Ike?" I tore my eyes from the page to find the man and Daisy were gone.
"Where did he go?" I asked the girls.
They all pointed in different directions. I was fairly certain Ike was incapable of teleporting himself in several directions at once. The girls weren't paying attention.
"What's it say?" Betty appeared at my elbow, trying to look at the paper.
"Nothing. It's…" My mind raced. "It's about packing out on Sunday."
"Boring," the girl said as she pulled a Rolex from her pocket and looked at it. "Almost time to go."
"Is that real?" I asked.
Betty stared at the watch. "Second hand moves smoothly." She brought it up to her ear. "No ticking. But I'll have to get it checked out for sure."
I was about to ask Betty how she knew the difference between a fake Rolex and a real one. I didn't know anybody but Riley who wore them, and he changed to an iWatch a few years back. Betty sure was good at poker. Maybe we should come up with some sort of badge work where she could teach the others her tricks.
"Mrs. Wrath!" Inez shouted. "We have to go!"
It was closing in on time for the next skirmish. I rushed the girls through a basic cleanup before leading them to the battlefield. I was operating in a fog of confusion beyond Betty's unexpected watch collection.
I thought about the note. Why was I being dragged into this…whatever it was? Missing leg? Murder? How did whoever it was know I was investigating? I had thought Doc and Stumpy were my best suspects, but then Ike gave me the note. Did he write it himself?
And where was Kelly? I know I gave her time off, but she'd been gone for a while now. Should I be worried? Or was she in the van with the AC on, taking a nap? That would be rich coming from a woman who insisted we do this by the book.
"Mrs. Wrath!" Caterina was tugging on my gown. "The fighting is about to start!"
"What? Oh. Right." I turned my attention to the field.
Provost Smith was in the middle of the empty field, Juliette once again at his side, talking into that megaphone.
"Today we are reenacting the second day's assault at the Battle of Idiot Creek."
"Lame," I mumbled.
"On this day in history…"
I smothered a guffaw.
"…the Union forces tried to run the Confederates out of Iowa with another big push. They crossed over the creek and invaded, but the South routed them, sending them right back to their side."
Aw, hell. I was just going to go with it. No point in saying for the one thousandth time that none of this ever happened.
Stumpy and Juliette left the field. The creek just sat there like a line of damp grass. There was a blast of cannon fire from the Union side before the three units charged, roaring across the field and over the creek.
The South met them in a mighty clash of hand-to-hand combat. How did they think three days of this was going to be interesting? It was just the same men fighting basically the same battle over and over.
Scanning the battle, I wondered where I was supposed to meet the note writer. The field was wide open and flat with no real cover. Normally in these situations, I'd arrive early and stake the place out, safely hidden behind a tree or building. But there was nothing here.
Gunfire brought me back to the present. The Rebels were physically pushing the Union back to the creek. Five Union men had apparently been captured, because they were being led at gunpoint back to the Confederate officers.
A great shout came from behind the Southern officers, and a small group, led once again by a diminutive soldier, fired on the officers.
"She's doing it again!" Ava yelled.
The officers were confused. They'd been shot point blank but had not fallen off their horses. Obviously this wasn't in the battle plans. They stared at the band of Union soldiers in disbelief.
"You're dead!" a man in a John Deere cap and 'Merica tank top yelled.
"What's happening?" Juliette screamed from the sidelines.
"Die!" came a shout from my left. "You're supposed to be dead!"
The men remained on their horses. The small soldier fired on the men leading the captives. They were smart and fell down immediately. The rest of the raiders fired on the officers a second time. The men on horseback refused to budge.
"Dead!" a woman on my right screamed, holding her thumb out and down.
Others quickly followed suit, and soon there was a sea of downward-facing thumbs. I was pretty sure stuff like this only happened in ancient Rome, but we were already celebrating utter fiction, so I said nothing.
The small soldier and the men she'd rescued, along with the other raiders in her troop, were gone. When did she vanish? And how?
"Where did she…" I turned to admonish the girls, when I spotted Betty, in a dress, watching the melee.
"It's not you?" I asked.
"Not me what?" she replied.
"That…on the field…" My voice died off.
"Honestly, Mrs. Wrath." Betty rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
So Betty wasn't the small soldier? It had to be one of the drummer boys. It had to be a kid. I didn't think there were any little people among the reenactors.
The other girls stared from me, to Betty, and back again. Then they turned to watch the rest of the action.
Betty grinned at me, and a blue kepi hat fell out of her skirts. I bent over to pick it up and spotted gray wool pants and boots on under her skirts.
"I just want to know how you got back here so fast," I said at last.
The girl shrugged and snatched the hat back, stuffing it down the front of her dress.
"Well, just make sure you don't participate in the big event tomorrow," I sighed. "They'll be waiting for you." I turned back to the crowd before she could respond.
The skirmish was over, but the crowd was getting ugly over the three officers who'd refused to die. They were taunting the men, threatening them. Eddie and Soo Jin stepped out onto the field, no doubt to calm things down.
Embry, the Union soldier who'd galvanized to be a Rebel, walked over to the officers and said something we couldn't hear. The three old men dismounted and then dramatically acted out their "deaths" by gunshot. When all three were down, the crowd cheered loudly.
Juliette was talking to Provost Stumpy, gesturing wildly toward me and the girls. The man nodded and started to make his way toward us.
"Roll your pants up and keep your skirts down," I murmured to Betty.
She responded by crouching down so that her skirt skimmed the grass. The other girls closed ranks around her. We steeled ourselves for a major chewing out.
"Ma'am?" The provost tipped his hat to me. "We've had a complaint about you and your troop." He looked back at Juliette, who'd remained where she was. She waved him on.
"Miss Dowd believes one of your girls is involved with these actions. Since these events aren't part of the plan…"
"There is no plan," I insisted. "This whole event is made up. So how can you be upset with an imaginary action taking place during an imaginary skirmish?"
Provost Smith looked downright confused. Had no one filled him in on the real history of this event?
"The mystery soldier seems to be a crowd pleaser," Lauren suggested.
The Kaitlyns nodded in unison.
"That's not the point." Stumpy took off his hat and wiped his brow with his sleeve. "That kid could get hurt. She doesn't know what she's doing."
"Why do you assume it's one of my girls?" I replied.
"It's probably one of those dumb drummer boys." Inez argued.
The others agreed.
"Look, all ten of my girls are here, see?" I did a head count, and ten little girls smiled innocently up at him.
"Miss Dowd thinks—" he started.
I interrupted. "Miss Dowd has had a personal vendetta against me and my troop for a few years now. She's hardly trustworthy, because anytime something goes wrong, she points at me."
"Well, I, I guess…" he stammered.
"You should talk to my co-leader, Miss Kelly?" I wiggled my eyebrows. "She'll set you straight." And with that, I turned on my heel and marched back toward camp, hoping the girls were behind me.
"You sure told him!" Betty snorted.
Spinning on my heel, I tried to look menacing. "I wouldn't have had to if you weren't doing what you're doing."
"Got it." The girl winked. "I'll be more discreet next time."
"No, you won't be more discreet, because you'll be on the sidelines like the other girls."
"I think…" Betty tapped her chin. "I shouldn't have tried to kill the officers. That was my mistake."
"No more sneaking around," I insisted. "In fact, we're going to spend the rest of the afternoon in the Ladies Aid Tent."
A wail went up from the group. "Noooooo!"
"Yes. Let's go. You guys are going to pretend you're ladies for the rest of the afternoon."
The troop stomped their feet as we entered the tent. I set them up with knitting and sewing projects to keep their little masterminds busy. I didn't have time for this. I had to meet an informant later. And I had to come up with a plan.
Tourists trickled in, asking the girls questions. Ava had managed to embroider dainty skulls on handkerchiefs, and Hannah was demonstrating knitting some misshapen thing that she called a blood soaker upper. Betty, Lauren, and Inez were talking to some bored adults about first aid once your head is blown off. No one questioned the dubious authenticity of what the girls said. They'd most likely come in here to get out of the sun.
And the Kaitlyns were talking to some women about the importance of writing letters home to tell families that their soldiers had died. It was kind of interesting how they listed all the gory ways a soldier could die here.
I spent my time sitting in the corner, thinking. The girls were natural performers and held the interest of all tourists. No one was curious about me. That gave me time to sort out my thoughts.
Here's what I knew. We had found a severed leg but no body to match it to. I'd thought I'd seen a man die on the field during the rehearsal two days earlier, but there was no evidence of that either. There was a man reported as AWOL, but that could be part of the reenactment.
Meanwhile, someone knew about me. Enough to say I was in some sort of danger. Why was that? The only enemies I had were in other countries. No one here had a bone to pick with me. Was it because I'd seen something? Maybe because I'd seen the dead soldier? That would make sense.
Except for the fact that I'd been warned by Ralph before that happened. Was the killer or dismemberer worried about my presence because of my reputation for snooping and solving murders?
That was an interesting idea—warning me off in advance so that I'd have no interest in looking for the truth.
And just when I was starting to think that the leg was imagined, the pant leg and shoe show up in my path.
Were there two suspects? One who cut off the leg and then took it and one who was involved but trying to warn me off?
But I didn't know anyone here besides my troop, the organizers, Soo Jin and Eddie, and Juliette Dowd. I guess I couldn't be lucky enough to think Juliette Dowd was the killer. That would solve a whole host of problems.
She wasn't involved. She might be a witch, but murder just seemed out of place with her, unless it was me.
So what was going on here?
And what about Riley's case? He was here looking for someone selling counterfeit Confederate money online. How ridiculous was that? Counterfeit Confederate money! Ha!
Hey, wait a minute… Were the two crimes linked? Riley didn't seem to be that urgent about it, and he said his client didn't want any unnecessary attention over the matter. Hell, he probably made the whole thing up to justify his involvement.
I needed to focus on the murder that wasn't necessarily a murder. What was it I'd seen Stumpy carrying and handing over to Ike? What did he mean when he said this was a terrible idea? He had been holding something rolled up in a rug. Something the right size and shape of a leg.
Was Stumpy the killer? Soo Jin and Eddie didn't seem to think anything was amiss with him.
What about Tom Branson, the sutler? Or Doc? Mitch, the skunk guy? Ike and Daisy? Maybe it was the skunk and donkey! That would be pretty cool. What about Embry? Or Darryl, who brought his own lice? It could be Ralph. He was trying to warn me, but maybe that's a double-blind. He was there to distract me from seeing the body. He somehow knew my name and used that to sidetrack me while his buddies disposed of the body.
Sadly, that was just a theory like all the others. The problem was that there were too many suspects and no body. Between the reenactors and the tourists, anybody could be the victim or the killer.
I'd never really been in this position before. Usually there were a couple of suspects, but this…this was too many. Kelly had told me to give it up. Soo Jin and Eddie weren't pursuing this as aggressively as I was. Rex had even told me to stop.
Were they all right?
"Mrs. Wrath?" Hannah was standing in front of me. "We're hungry, and it's getting late."
"Oh!" I came out of my fog. "Right! Has anyone seen Mrs. Albers?"
The girls shook their heads. Checking my non-Rolex watch, I realized it was, in fact, dinnertime. We were back to the issue we'd had with lunch. What could I make that was authentic? How long would that take?
My frustration level was peaking. I pulled out the cell I wasn't supposed to have and made a call.
"And there's your change," Stewie squeaked.
"You keep it," I said as I shoved the pizzas into my van.
"Are you coming to our meeting?" the short, chubby redhead asked.
Stewie was the leader of a surly group of dysfunctional teen druids. They'd recently incorporated me into their group as Bird Goddess. I never went. Well, almost never. They did worship me, after all.
"Sorry, Stewie. I've got a reenactment." I motioned toward my dress. "Hey, when did you start delivering pizza?"
"A week ago. I'm trying to save up to buy a car."
Wow. The kid was going normal. I felt guilty at the minor tip and shoved a couple of dollars into his hand. "What are you going to get?"
"We want something we can use as a group. There's a druid convention in Peoria next month."
"So, like, a minivan?"
He shook his head. "Nah. Something more practical. We're going to buy a hearse."
He said good-bye and got back into the pizza truck and drove away.
I whistled. "Girls!"
They swarmed as I put all the seats down in the back of the van and started her up. The AC kicked in, and it was glorious.
"No stains on the dresses," I hissed.
Caterina handed out white cloths. "I got these from Doc."
"Perfect."
Oh yes, this was way better than dry bread and salty ham. We devoured all six pizzas. I felt a little bad not saving a slice or two for Kelly, but she probably wouldn't eat it anyway.
A sharp rap hit the window, and I jumped.
"What are you all doing in there?" Kelly asked.
"Girls!" I hissed. "Any left?"
"I was saving these for later." Betty produced two slices of pepperoni. "But they're not burned, so Mrs. A can have them."
I rolled down the window and produced a slice of pizza. "Get in!"
Kelly swooned in spite of herself. "Oh my God! This is so good!"
"You're not mad?" I handed her one of the cloths Caterina had brought.
"I should be," she mumbled through a mouthful of cheese. "But this is the best pizza I've ever eaten. And the air conditioning! I guess I didn't realize how miserable I'd been!"
"Sorry about ditching you all those times," I apologized.
"It's okay."
"Where have you been all afternoon?"
Kelly looked behind us to see that the girls were all talking amongst themselves. "I just needed a break. I kind of wandered around and checked things out. Chatted with Riley a bit. And Alister."
"Alister?" My eyebrows went up. "You were throwing yourself at Stumpy?"
"Of course I wasn't! I don't know where you're getting these ideas."
"Well, you call him Alister, for one."
Kelly rolled her eyes. "That is his name."
"And you seem to swoon around him all the time."
"I'm just being polite."
I wasn't getting anywhere. "Okay, fine. Whatever."
"We'd better get back." Kelly wiped her fingers and chin. "I have a little surprise for everyone."
"Really?" I brightened. "What is it?" I liked surprises.