"Yaaaaaay!" the girls screamed with glee.
Kelly's surprise was inspired—a nighttime demonstration with Doc and Soo Jin about Civil War medical treatments.
Doc still seemed a little freaked out by the girls' enthusiasm. Kelly and I hadn't been that ghoulish when we were this age. But I did once trade a puppy for intel when I was eight, and Kelly went on to become an emergency room nurse, so maybe we weren't that different.
It was also possible that Doc was just plain nervous. Was he involved in the whole leg thing? Was it me making him feel that way? Did he know I'd been investigating? On the surface, he seemed like a decent guy. But then, you never really knew with murderers.
"I'll need a victim," the man said. "You there."
He pointed at Lauren, who immediately climbed onto the table, closed her eyes, and stuck her tongue out.
"This little soldier has a gangrenous wound."
"What's that?" Lauren asked.
Soo Jin leaned forward and held out a book. "It's a wound that gets infected. They didn't have antibiotics then, so they'd have to amputate." She lifted Lauren's sleeve and drew a dotted line just below her elbow.
"The wound is above her wrist, but we need to cut it off high enough so that the gangrene doesn't set in."
Doc pulled out one of his dull saws. It looked sharp. "Cutting through the flesh is painful. And since they didn't have anesthesia then, soldiers had to bite down on something like this." He held out a leather-wrapped stick. "Or we gave him liquor of some sort. In some cases, chloroform was available, but that was still new."
Inez wrapped her arms around herself. "That would still hurt!"
Soo Jin nodded. "It did. First, you tied a tourniquet between the wound and the heart. You had to cut through the flesh first, using a medical knife." She pantomimed slicing, and Lauren did an impressive bit of shrieking. "The bones are much harder to cut through, so we'd switch to a bone saw."
Doc handed her a different saw. "Most of the time, the soldier passed out from the pain. His body went into shock."
Lauren gasped and pretended to faint.
"If we were lucky and that happened," Doc added, "we'd finish the job and try to stitch things up before the soldier came to."
"Did the soldiers survive stuff being cut off?" Ava asked. "Seems like they'd need insurance."
Ava had one dream and one dream only—to become the CEO of a major insurance corporation. Most kids wanted to be celebrities or firefighters or, in the case of Betty, a secret agent/assassin. Betty had goals.
But Ava went a different route and was constantly talking about insurance. I rather preferred the ghoulish stuff.
"Um." Doc scratched his head. "You know, I have no idea if they had insurance back then. Probably not."
Ava frowned. "How did they pay their medical bills?"
Doc shrugged. "They didn't. The battlefield doctors worked for the military."
"What about compensation 'cuz they couldn't work anymore?" the child pressed.
"That was a real problem," Doc admitted. "Most soldiers from the South were poor farmers. An amputation would've been a real hardship."
"Didn't they have fake legs back then?" Lauren asked eagerly. "Do I get a fake arm now?"
He shook his head "They didn't have the prosthesis we have today. They'd use a crutch, or sometimes they'd carve a wooden leg. Very painful."
The girls decided this sucked and had no interest in pursuing it any further.
"What about when you amputated an arm?" Caterina asked.
Doc seemed happy to have the conversation turn. "That happened a lot. But at least a man could still walk."
He asked one of the Kaitlyns to volunteer this time and, with theatrics almost as credible as Lauren's, proceeded to tie a tourniquet and saw through her arm.
"She can't write home with one arm!" one of the other Kaitlyns gasped.
The Kaitlyn who was the patient frowned, concerned that this fake amputation would impact her fake letter writing skills.
I walked away as Doc began talking about diseases. I needed some air. Maybe it was the greasy pizza or the heat, but I was a bit queasy.
Outside it was getting dark, and the tourists were heading toward the parking lot.
I looked across to our tents. A muffled noise was coming from inside mine. That didn't seem good. Without a corset on, I closed the gap quickly, tearing open the flap and lunging inside.
Ike was standing over my sleeping bag.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" I demanded as I got into a defensive stance.
The man scowled and dove under the tent wall. It was pretty tight against the ground, but the wiry man managed to wriggle to freedom on the other side.
"Ike! Come back here," I shouted as I ran back through the flap, around to the other side.
But Ike was gone.
Storming back into the tent, I used a flashlight to illuminate the area where he'd been standing when I entered. Nudging my sleeping bag with the toe of my shoe, I didn't notice anything. Finally, I got down on my knees, flashlight in my mouth, as I dug through the things on the floor. Nothing unusual popped out. What did Ike think I had in my possession?
The pant leg and shoe! He must've been looking for that! I didn't have it. Eddie did. Ike was involved. He had to be. Who was he working for? Was he working on his own, or could he be in cahoots with Doc? It was Ike who had handed me the suspicious note. Things seemed to be on the verge of coming together. I didn't have a body, or even a leg anymore, but I did have a stronger suspect.
My mind raced as I got to my feet. How did he know I wouldn't be here? Was he in league with Doc? After all, Doc could've suggested the surprise to Kelly, leaving my tent unattended so that Ike could retrieve the bag.
Oh sure, I didn't have any hard evidence (I didn't even have a victim). But it started to make sense to me. Doc and Ike were working together! Now all I needed to do was prove it, find the leg, the body, and a lot of conclusive evidence.
How hard could that be?
A twig snapped hard outside the tent, and I could hear men whispering. Well, they weren't getting the jump on me. Not anymore!
"Stop that!" Kelly shouted in her usual commanding ER nurse voice as I dodged a punch heading for my face before landing an uppercut on my attacker's chin. "Make them stop fighting!"
Who was she talking to? Me? These guys jumped me out of the blue, so I was fairly certain that other than pulling a cannon from my skirt, there was nothing I could do or say to stop them. The cannon thing would be cool though.
I'd just come out of my tent, only to run into two men with kepis pulled low over their faces and bandanas covering their noses down. Instead of fleeing, they decided to take me on. I guess they thought they could beat up a girl in a dress. How very unchivalrous.
Kelly and the girls were coming back when they heard the scuffle. She didn't seem at all surprised that I was in the thick of it.
I drove my foot into the second guy's gut. He flew backwards with a loud and somewhat satisfying ooomph.
"Stop it right now!" Kelly shouted. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that she looked to the girls for support.
Betty rolled her eyes as she droned in a dull, bored tone, "Hey, guys, stop getting your butts kicked by my super old Girl Scout leader."
You try fighting off two thugs while wearing a hoop skirt. Thank God I'd taken off the corset earlier. But once again, I was starting to regret turning down Soo Jin's idea of playing a man in this farce. It's just that, when an insanely beautiful woman suggests you might do better as a man, you get a little defensive and, in my case, go completely the other direction with lace overkill, silk petticoats, and big, bouncy curls (which were unhelpfully smacking me in the face).
The Kaitlyns shouted some slurs at the men. The four identical girls had wholeheartedly embraced the reenactment, always striving for true authenticity, from the cast iron curling irons we put in the fire every day to peeing in fields, in spite of the porta-potties across from our tents. I knew they were trying for historical accuracy as they yelled, "Die Rebel scum," but I was pretty sure that came from the Star Wars movies.
My earlier punch barely registered on the large man in the gray wool uniform, so he grabbed my wrists. I twisted up and out of his grasp and kicked the first guy sideways in the knee.
He went down hard, clasping his leg with a twinkle of glee in his eyes. These hardcores seemed to love pain. After three days you'd think I'd get used to that. Instead, it just seemed weirder. For a split second I worried that he was Betty's friend who'd brought his own lice.
Unfortunately, the second attacker had regained his balance and, seeing his pal on the ground with a damaged knee, charged right at me. His large frame seemed to make the ground shake beneath my feet. Most people would run. But my troop was here, and running might put them in danger. If these idiots would beat up a woman, I had no reason to believe they wouldn't attack kids.
"Get him, Mrs. Wrath!" Inez shrieked.
The guy closed in, and just as he was about to pounce, I stepped aside and clotheslined him right in the throat. The man staggered back, holding his neck, his eyes bulging. I didn't think I had hit him hard enough to kill him. That wasn't my plan. Well, not today it wasn't.
Those eyes…there was something familiar about them. I'd met this guy somewhere…
His buddy had gotten to his feet with the help of his partner and began limping away. Betty started after them, but I called her off.
Eddie and Soo Jin raced over and stared at me. Kelly was holding her cell phone. She must've texted them.
"Where did they go?" Eddie asked.
"Are you okay?" Soo Jin put her hand on my arm.
"I'm fine. And don't worry about them. I think I know who one of them was. I just need a moment to figure it out."
You might think it strange that I called them off, but I had an appointment soon that I had to keep in the middle of the battlefield. And sticking around to ID someone wasn't part of the plan.
Riley rounded the side of the tent. He stopped in his tracks and looked at my state of dishevelment before smiling. "What is it with you and your inability to understand the odds?"
"I texted him," Kelly finally said. "I thought you could use some help with two men attacking."
I gave Riley a look. "You know I can handle myself."
He slipped into his cavalier romance performance, sweeping me into his arms. "Why, Miss Peckinpah! How unladylike."
I threatened to knee him in the groin. As he held up his hands and backed away, I told the girls, "And that's how you deal with an irritating man."
Eddie ignored the whole thing. "Merry, I don't like this. It's getting out of hand. Men are attacking you now."
I waved him off. "That's good news. It means I'm close to the truth."
He looked at Kelly. "Can't you do something?"
"You've got to be kidding." She shook her head. "I've tried, and it hasn't worked."
"Never will with Merry Wrath." Riley shook his head.
"Right." I clapped my hands together. "Now that we are at a consensus, I'm going to change."
Inside the tent, the adrenaline started to wear off, and I took deep breaths to avoid going into shock. Oh sure, Kelly was right. I could handle myself. But these clothes were killing me, and I was surprised that the men were so emboldened. What if I'd been here? What if the girls had caught them instead? What if it had happened later when I was at the rendezvous with…whomever?
My dress was dirty. I removed it and the hoop skirt and stretched. My wig was almost sideways on my head. I was going to change into the soldier costume. Then if I had to deal with another fight, I'd at least look the part.
More importantly…why had they been about to enter my tent? Were they in league with Ike and possibly Doc? Were they looking for the same thing? I hadn't shared these concerns with Soo Jin and Eddie because I hadn't had time to tell them about Ike. I hadn't told them something else either.
One of my attackers had been my new friend from the other night…Eldo. I was fairly certain about that.
The so-called battlefield was empty. I looked at my cell—10:30 sharp. The moon was hiding behind some clouds, giving a dim glow to the surroundings. Had I gotten the location wrong? This was just an empty field. There was nothing to provide cover. If he didn't want me to see him, this was a bad choice.
I was just starting to wonder if this was a ruse to get me out of my tent, when something came sailing through the air and landed at my feet. It was a crumpled-up piece of paper. I unfolded it to read Come to the barn…if you dare! The last bit looked like it had been added afterward in an attempt to intimidate me.
I trotted toward the barn. "Why didn't you say for me to meet you at the barn in the first place?" Idiot, I mumbled under my breath.
I was just about to turn the corner when a hand shot out.
"Stop! Don't come any closer!" The hand receded.
"Who's there?" I asked into the murky darkness.
"Iowa," came the answer with a snicker.
"Are you kidding me?" It was an old joke—the name of my hometown.
"Sorry," the voice apologized. "I've always wanted to do that."
Was this guy from Who's There? I didn't recall meeting any Whovians I didn't know at the reenactment. I didn't recognize the voice, but it was male, and I could tell it was being disguised because it didn't sound natural.
I took a step toward the voice. "Come closer."
"Uh, no way."
I folded my arms over my chest. "You know who I am and what I look like. It's only fair that you do the same."
"Not gonna happen."
I squeezed the cell phone in my right hand. I'd hear him out, but if he tried anything, I was going to light him up like fireworks and take a photo.
"What do you want?" I asked.
There was a brief hesitation. "Oh right. That. You need to drop it."
"Drop what?" I played stupid.
"You know what. This doesn't concern you."
"I thought you had information," I snapped.
"Yeah. Sorry about that. I just wanted to warn you off." He sounded apologetic. I tried to pinpoint the voice, but it was deep. Too deep to be a true bass. It had that throaty sound of someone trying to lower the register of their voice.
But I wasn't going anywhere. "It isn't working."
"Really?" There was a pause that indicated some level of confusion. "Why not?"
"Well, for one, you're hardly intimidating. I'm not exactly shaking in my boots."
He added a bit of menace to his inflection. "You should be if you know what's good for you!"
"You're going to have to back that up. I'm not buying it."
There was another pause. Then a tentative: "I'm warning you—I'm really dangerous."
This was getting old fast. "I don't think so."
"I'll shoot you." It sounded more like a question than a threat.
I shrugged. "I've been shot before."
"Then I'll stab you," he said with a tad more confidence.
"That's happened to me too."
Actually, both things happened in the same occurrence when I was undercover with a Colombian drug lord. Carlos the Armadillo was trying out a new .22 small caliber pistol when it went off and hit me in the hip. I fell to the floor, cursing loudly, when the maid came in with an appetizer, tripped over my leg, and accidentally stabbed me with a cheese knife. If none of those things sound impressive, you're right. But I wasn't about to tell this guy that.
"Is there anything that does scare you?" the man asked hopefully.
"Sure there is. Revolving doors, man-eating tigers, botulism, my troop unsupervised with an unlimited supply of matches…"
He hissed, "Well, add me to that list because I'm much more terrifying than those things."
"I doubt it."
"Look, I know you used to be a spy." His tone turned whiny and took on a younger tone. He was dropping his guard.
I sighed. "That's hardly a threat."
"And I know you've been in tight spots before."
"As is every spy. Hardly secret knowledge."
"So I can't warn you off?" This was followed by a heavy sigh.
"Nope. My curiosity is piqued. I want to know who did it."
Silence filled the air, briefly interrupted by a croaking frog that probably got one webbed foot damp in the sorry excuse for a creek.
The voice had sounded young. Inexperienced. Could it be the guy who had almost killed Ava with a badly thrown blade?
"Go home, Merry Wrath! Leave Who's There, quit your troop, and never return!"
Quit my troop? Leave home?
This had gone on too long. I turned the corner to see a form running away in the darkness. I took off after him, but he was faster. Definitely younger. I could sprint okay but was completely unable to run fast for any distance. The figure vanished into the camp, and I lost him.
Worried that my first hunch was true, I raced instead to my tent to see if anything was wrong there.
Betty sat with Lauren next to a roaring fire that only my troop could pull off. Lauren was knitting. Betty was whittling and whistling "John Brown's Body."
"What are you guys up to?" I asked.
Betty squinted at me. "You're wearing that uniform again! Why won't you let me do that?"
I sat down. "Mostly because I don't want Juliette or the provost to recognize you as the tiny soldier who bends the rules."
The girl turned her eyes back to the knife and piece of wood. "Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Mrs. Wrath?" Lauren asked. "Can we babysit Babette too?"
This surprised me. "The skunk? What do you mean by 'too'?"
"The Magnolia Girls had her out for a walk. That Mitch guy had a meeting or something. She might still be there."
Betty put down her whittling. "Sounds like a night raid to liberate the skunk is in order. I'll get my sword…"
"No." I held my hands up. Although it did seem unfair that those prissy girls got to play with the skunk when mine were so into animals. "I'll ask tomorrow. Okay?"
"Fine," Lauren said as she got to her feet. "I'm going to bed. Night!"
"How did your little meeting go?" Betty asked.
I narrowed my eyes. "How did you know about that?"
Good thing she hadn't joined me. This kid believed she was invincible. And in many ways she was. But I didn't want her in danger.
Betty shrugged. "I saw the note."
I reached into my pocket, my hands closing on the paper. "How?"
"I went through your stuff. You know, I thought we were partners. You've been keeping stuff from me."
"We're not partners," I stated, although with Betty it always felt like a losing battle. "You need to stay out of it."
"Why?"
"Because!" was all I could come up with.
She walked over and shoved what she'd been whittling into my hand, closing my fingers around it. "I expect a full debriefing tomorrow, soldier."
As she walked into the tent, I opened my hand. Nestled on my palm was a scarily good carving of a small soldier shooting a Rebel officer off his mount.