I don't know how he did it, but Eddie managed to move the ball up several hours. It wasn't even lunchtime, but here we were, sashaying into the grand tent, dressed to the nines. A band played at one end of the room as waiters walked around handing out champagne.
"They had to cancel the dinner," Kelly said as she fiddled with the ribbons in her hair for the twentieth time in ten minutes.
"You look fine," I said. "Stop being so nervous."
She shook her head. "I'm not nervous."
"You have a date with a man who isn't your husband," I reminded her.
"Honestly, Merry!" Kelly sighed with exasperation "It's not a date."
"Technically," Lauren spoke up, "it is a date, but like one hundred and fifty years ago. You travelled through time to before you were born. So you aren't technically married."
Kelly raised her eyebrows. "Makes sense."
In a way, it kind of did.
Getting ready for the ball had seemed to take forever. How women did anything else on days when there was a gala back then was beyond me. Betty damn near killed me tying me into my corset. She'd have a great future as a torturer for the CIA.
At least we didn't have makeup. That wasn't around back then. It was the only easy thing about that era. After putting on petticoats, the hoopskirt, and a dress, I was exhausted. And I still had to re-do my hair.
"I don't understand why I need a different wig for the ball," I complained.
"Because that one," Kelly said as she pointed to the more elaborately styled hair in my hands, "is longer hair and more in keeping with a formal event."
Painstakingly, I pinned up my hair. The new wig was the same color as the other one. Like the other wig, it had ringlets, but this one had lots of pinned up strands covered in silk flowers. I was the only one who needed a wig. The girls were busy working on each other's hair.
I must have missed that training as a girl. Growing up, my hair was always in a ponytail. I finally cut it when I joined the CIA because I could. My drip-dry curls were super easy to live with. But they weren't in proper keeping with the times.
Kelly had borrowed a full-length mirror from the sutlery, which Branson had loaned by way of apology over the whole donkey business.
I stared at my reflection and didn't recognize myself. I was swathed in what seemed like miles of pale blue taffeta, and my skirt had about a five-foot diameter. My friend tugged on my neckline until it was perched on the edge of my shoulders. To my surprise, I felt a little pretty, even though the whole getup was ridiculous.
"You look amazing!" Kelly smiled.
"I look like a wedding cake," I grumbled.
"No, you don't," my co-leader insisted. "How do I look?"
"Less like a wedding cake."
Kelly had always been the pretty one, I'd thought. Seeing her in burgundy satin with loops of lace reminded me that she still was gorgeous. Not Soo Jin's take your breath away, it hurts to look at you gorgeous. But pretty nonetheless.
The girls lined up, each jockeying for position in front of the mirror, making me laugh. These girls were tough, funny, and fearless. But put them in dresses, and they primped like the best of them.
"Mrs. Wrath?" Ava asked as she tugged on her skirts. "I heard there were women spies in the Civil War."
I nodded. "There were. Women spied for both the North and South, usually behind enemy lines."
"And fought as dudes," Betty added. "Which I don't get because you wouldn't let me do that."
Betty looked downright adorable in her navy blue satin dress, her dark hair in sausage curls. Only the scowl on her face made her look out of place among the other girls.
"You spied," Lauren suggested thoughtfully. "You spied for Mrs. Wrath."
"Yeah," Betty agreed.
"And you fought in all three battles," Inez pointed out.
Kelly and I studied the girl carefully, waiting for a confession.
"Are they going to have cake at the ball?" Betty deflected.
"Oh, right," Kelly said. "About that. You girls have to take extra care of these dresses. They all go back this week."
To my surprise, there was no complaint. If anything, it cast a pall of sadness over the group. The troop had really gotten into their roles here…some more than others. Would they be depressed when this was all over? Or were they sad they weren't going to get cake?
"Did you figure out who the dead guy was?" Caterina asked me.
"I think so." I excused myself and made a quick phone call to my husband. He agreed to send me what I needed. And then, on a wave of little girls, I was practically carried into the Blue and Gray Ball.
"Janie Peckinpah!" Riley swept me into his arms. "We have survived the war! Give me a kiss to celebrate our impending nuptials." Perhaps wary of the last thing I threatened him with, he did not try to kiss me.
"You must save the first dance for me," he said.
I ignored his request. "I need to talk to you. I think I have something that's relevant to your case."
"Oh?" His eyebrows went up, but the look on his face said he didn't take me very seriously.
"Never mind," I said. "You don't deserve what I know."
His expression changed, and I realized I'd hit a nerve. Over the past year, I'd solved half of Riley's cases without him, mainly because they seemed to overlap with whatever body I'd tripped over at the time.
"Merry," he sighed with exasperation. "Why can't I just have one case. Just one case without you getting involved."
"I'm involved only because Betty's massive winnings were paid to her in Confederate money. A lot of Confederate money."
Riley's eyebrows went up. "I thought she was paid in regular cash."
"She's a kid. They thought they could fool her."
It was kind of surprising that Betty had been taken in by that. She was savvier than most adults. Sometimes she was even savvier than me.
"You need to tell me something." I looked around to make sure we weren't overheard. "Is Tom Branson your client?"
My former handler didn't even look surprised. "How did you know?"
"It was just a guess that you have now confirmed."
Riley closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You always manage to get information from me."
I ignored his comment, mainly because it was true. "Do you have any idea who the counterfeiters are?"
"A few ideas. My biggest problem is that I don't have access to various databases here. I don't know how investigators got anything done back then without technology."
I felt the same way. "The thing is, I suspect that the victim and your case are related."
"I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense," Riley said slowly. "I'm just investigating the sale of fake Confederate money on the internet. You're talking about a murder."
I nodded. "I know! There's something in the back of my brain that's telling me this. It's almost like my brain knows what's going on before I do."
Riley looked around. "Have you seen Kelly? I really need to talk to her."
My eyebrows went up. "Really? Why?"
And then it hit me. How had I missed it? "She's working for you here, isn't she?"
Why hadn't I seen it before? The time off on her own. The flirting. It all made sense now.
"You're investigating Stumpy!" I accused. "How did I not see that? Of course Kelly wouldn't throw herself at that guy!"
"Quiet down, please," Riley shushed me. "Yes, we think Major Smith is involved. We just don't know who his partner is."
"And what are you planning to do with this information?" I asked. "Turn him into the authorities? What's in it for Branson?"
"Honestly?" Riley started. "I think Branson just wants his competition out of the way. But he's my client, and I'm not investigating him."
But someone else was. And I thought I knew who.
Shouting erupted outside, along with some Rebel yells and gunfire. We all raced out of the tent to see a man in a Confederate uniform, his hands tied in front of him, surrounded by soldiers.
"We got ourselves a deserter!" an old man with no front teeth shouted, sounding more like, "We got ourthelveth a detherter!"
The prisoner made a valiant attempt at looking ashamed but couldn't suppress the smile on his face. "That's right! I'm a deserter! You have to hang or shoot me!"
"He seems a little too excited," I murmured to Riley.
"Shhhh!" he shushed me. "This is kind of cool!"
Provost Smith stood at attention and shouted, "This man is a deserter! He will be imprisoned so that we can review the charges."
The prisoner's smile vanished. "What? No! You have to shoot me right now! I insist!"
"Some of these reenactors creep me out," I said.
"They really do get into it," Riley agreed.
"Son," Smith said, "we have ladies and children present. We will not punish you now."
"What? I missed a whole day just so that I could have a public execution!"
The provost shook his head. "You timed it badly. We've just started the Blue and Gray ball."
The deserter's face brightened. "Well, can it be a dark, damp prison cell where I'll have to fight off the rats for my food?"
"I'll see what I can do," Smith said as the man was led away.
"It's interesting, but some of these guys get so worked up over something so fake." Riley turned and led me back into the tent.
Something so fake… felt like something sucked all the air out of me—like a giant corset. My cell buzzed. Rex had sent me an email with an attachment from the Department of the Treasury. This was what I needed! I texted him and Sheriff Carnack, asking them to join me right away.
Inside the tent, I was trying to put my thoughts in order. I had an idea who the counterfeiter was. I knew who the dead body was. I thought I knew why Eldo and his men had jumped me. I just had a couple of questions before the picture was complete.
"Mrs. Wrath!" the Kaitlyns called out.
The girls were in a big circle, holding hands and dancing. They motioned for me to join them. I would've waved them away, but here it was, our last moments at the reenactment. And since it would be over my dead body that we did this again, it felt right to dance with my troop. Even if they were making every bit of it up. Besides, it gave me a few more moments to think.
I met them on the floor and joined hands with Hannah on my right and Ava on my left. Immediately I regretted my decision as my corset strangled all breath from my body. If it hadn't been borrowed, I'd have had my little teenage druid team back home ritually burn it in a bonfire. It would probably be the closest Stewie would ever come to women's underwear.
"Okay, girls," I wheezed as I dropped their hands. "You can take it from here. I need a break."
"Ladies?" Embry and his friends stood by my side. "May we cut in?"
The girls stopped and considered this. Only five men and ten girls made for an awkward dancing situation.
"There are too many of us," Lauren said.
Embry looked at his men for a moment. Then he stepped forward and picked up Inez's and Betty's hands. His men inserted themselves into the circle, and they all just spun round and round together.
It was wonderful and amazing. I just hoped that the guy who brought his own lice wasn't with them.
"Ma'am?" Eldo spoke up on my right. "May I have this dance?"
"No, thanks." I shook my head and started to walk away.
His hand shot out and grabbed my arm. "I wasn't asking," the man snapped.
Before I knew it, I was being forced to waltz around the room with a man I suspected was a killer. A man who had attacked me yesterday.
"It looked like you were about to make some sort of announcement," Eldo sneered. "We can't have that, can we?"
I didn't answer.
"You just couldn't leave well enough alone!" He looked around cautiously. "You just couldn't forget that you saw that leg, even after it disappeared."
"Well," I said slowly, "it's hard to let something like murder go unpunished."
Eldo's face hardened into a twisted scowl. "I told 'em you wouldn't give up."
"Them?" I asked sweetly, as if I wasn't in the arms of a killer. "I figured you weren't the brains of the outfit…or any outfit. What was it you were giving the provost in that tent? The leg, maybe?"
The man's face turned red with fury, but he didn't say anything.
"What did it mean," I pressed. "The words dead, body, wrath?"
"It means," he snarled, tightening his grip on me, "that you snoop too much."
"Ah," I said breezily, as if I wasn't being crushed. "At first I thought you meant me when you said wrath. But I don't think you did. I think you meant anger. But it doesn't matter because we know what dead and body meant."
"Why didn't you just ignore what you saw?" Eldo looked like he was about to snap. I had to give him credit though. His waltz never wavered.
I smiled. "Definitely the muscle. Definitely not the brains."
The man crushed my waist in a vise-like grip that I didn't appreciate.
I continued, "Until this moment, I knew you were involved. I just didn't realize how much involved."
"I think you've made some assumptions that you should forget about." His voice dripped with fury.
"Do I need concrete proof?" Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Sheriff Carnack and his deputies entering the tent. Nice timing.
"All I need," I continued, "is enough to have you arrested while the authorities come up with the evidence."
Riley tapped me on the shoulder. "May I cut in?"
We stopped dancing.
"I don't think so," Eldo snarled. "Find another partner."
"Riley," I said evenly. "I can handle this."
"Oh really?" His right eyebrow went up. "It looks to me as if you are being forced to dance with this man."
"Hey, buddy." Eldo's voice grew more menacing. "You need to butt out…"
"You," I addressed Riley, "have forgotten, once again, that I can take care of myself."
The corners of Riley's mouth tugged into the hint of a smile. "I figured this time you might need some assistance."
"Stop it!" Eldo growled. "I'm taking this lady outside, and you'd better not follow us!"
I rolled my eyes, grabbed the back of Eldo's head, and brought it down, smashing it into my knee that was on its way up. Riley caught him before he hit the floor, threw his arm around the man, and started to drag him toward the sheriff.
Looking around, I noticed that no one seemed to have seen what just happened. Well, except for one person.
Juliette headed towards me, most likely to chew me out for unladylike behavior. She was smiling. Granted, it wasn't a natural smile. I was pretty sure the woman was incapable of such a thing. Instead, it was kind of like a wolf, lips pulled back, about to snarl.
"Merry," she said in a tone that said I'm being nice, but I'm having a hard time doing it. "I just hope we can put this all behind us." She leaned closer to my ear, and I'm not entirely sure why I allowed it since my spydy senses were tingling. "Maybe we can be friends."
The whole encounter was surreal. It was like being trapped in a nightmare.
"Mrs. Wrath!" Hannah shouted. "She put something in your pocket!"
Juliette sprang back as if she'd been burned. My troop crossed their arms over their chests, looking like little, angry debutantes.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a wad of Confederate bills.
"She's a counterfeiter!" Juliette screamed, pointing at me.
I smiled. Now I knew who the counterfeiter was.
"Arrest her!" the woman continued to shriek. "She should go to prison!"
Nobody made a move toward me. They knew better.
"This is your prank?" I asked. "To frame me as a counterfeiter?"
Juliette stared at me but said nothing.
"That's the worst pickpocketing I've ever seen!" Lauren said.
Inez agreed. "You have to make sure no one sees you do it!"
"You have no idea, do you?" I continued to Juliette. "All this does is frame you for having them in the first place."
Her eyes grew wide.
"You had no idea that these were actual counterfeits. You thought it was just a joke. But you were wrong. These are real fakes." I pointed to Mary Gold. "And the real counterfeiter set you up."
Mary Gold started to back away.
"You're the mastermind. Why else would you have counterfeit money? Why else would you suggest this plan to Juliette? But you didn't do it alone, did you?"
The leader of the Magnolia Girls made a break for it, and I ran after her. She stopped to swing her parasol at me, but I jumped back, then lunged forward and punched her in the face. She went down like a sack of sweet tea. Unfortunately, the exertion that took while wearing a corset had me panting for air, and I needed a second to recoup.
"Arrest that man." I pointed at Eldo. "For murder." Granted, I wasn't one hundred percent sure of that, but after his sort of confession when we danced, they might as well take him away until he confessed or they found DNA.
Eldo broke free from Riley and lunged at me, but I snatched the parasol from the floor next to Mary Gold with my foot, kicked it up into my hand and, using the hooked end, snagged Eldo's ankle, dropping him to the floor. My corset and hoop skirt made it nearly impossible to hold him there, so Betty jumped on his back and hog-tied him. I had no idea where the rope came from, but did it really matter?
I thought about what Riley had said earlier.
"And you!" I pointed at the provost. "You are Mary Gold's partner. Not just in counterfeiting but in murder."
Provost Smith turned to run, but Kelly, in a rare moment, stepped in front of him and stopped him in his tracks. The man looked confused for a moment and seemed unable to get past her. His own manners had trapped him.
That's when Ike grabbed Stumpy and slapped a pair of cuffs on him.
The room went completely silent, including me, because I hadn't seen that coming at all.
"You're law enforcement?" Riley asked.
Ike nodded. "Department of the Treasury."
"You're the dead man's partner!" I shouted as I recalled the file Rex had sent me. "The victim was a Treasury agent!"
Ike nodded. "His name was Nathan Standish. And you're right, he was my partner. He was investigating Branson when he went missing. The real Ike is my cousin, and when he was recruited by Smith, I took his place. My name is Cal Aaronson. Agent Cal Aaronson."
The room erupted in chaos as Sheriff Carnack waded into the fray to nab the bad guys. The Magnolia Girls surrounded Juliette. Mary's co-leader stood gaping like a fish on land. My gut told me she didn't know about any of this, but there would have to be an investigation anyway. After all, she was from Bladdersly.
My troop got behind me, with a few of them slamming their fists into their hands and cracking their knuckles. The rumble might happen after all.
"I'm sorry," Juliette said. "I…I didn't know."
"This is going to keep happening, isn't it?" I asked her.
The woman said nothing as she backed into the crowd, surrounded by the Magnolia Girls. Well, she tried to. But Mitch and Babette were right behind her, and she sort of stumbled over them.
Lauren whistled and clucked her tongue. Babette looked at the girl, and I could swear it nodded at her. Then, to Juliette's and the Magnolia Girls' horror, we found out that, in fact, Babette had not been descented.