My words come out ragged. I want to trust him more than anything, but I know his past. I saw the countless nameless women he brought home before and after I moved in. He was a classic fuckboy. Honestly, this shouldn’t surprise me as much as it has. I’m actually shocked he hasn’t knocked up some random chick before this, but hell, why did it have to be her? When I think about it, what bothers me the most is the jealousy that courses through me. I have no right to feel that way, no claim on him, and that only irritates me more. Between this and the stress of seeing my parents, those are the only constants I have.
With everything that’s happened this year, I feel like the universe is constantly shitting on me. Nothing has been easy or worked in my favor. Each time I think I might be okay, a curve ball comes my way, and something else happens. First, Brandon’s unexpected death, then finding out I’m pregnant with his baby, and now Hunter’s situation. At this point, I’m just wondering what else could possibly occur.
As soon as Hunter told me we’d be a makeshift family, Jenna came barreling in like a freight train. Knocking me off my axis, she immediately forced me back to my sad reality. I’d been so caught up in preparing for Utah that it was almost easy to believe Hunter’s promises, believe every word he said to me. For a moment, in my heart, I knew I’d be all right. The worry and stress had temporarily vanished as I got caught up in the fantasy of Hunter always being there for me and the baby.
Jenna was the wake-up call I needed. It snapped me out of my fairy tale so fast, I might have a concussion from the whiplash.
Hunter and I have nothing more than a solid friendship. Eventually, he’ll find someone who makes him happy, fall in love, and want to start a family. How could he not? Hunter deserves it all.
Even though he swears Jenna’s baby isn’t his, I don’t understand how he can be so sure. Sometimes the best birth control and protection fail because nothing is one hundred percent. I’m a perfect example of that. But if Hunter wants me to trust him, I’ll try my damnedest to. It’s the least I can do after everything he’s selflessly done for me.
We sit in silence as I try to get ahold of my emotions. Being with Hunter and spending most of our free time together has been different. Months ago, if someone would’ve told me we’d be so close, I would’ve laughed in their face, but he’s quickly become my best friend. I’ve learned things about him I never knew and understand him on a much deeper level. We’ve shared so much of our raw selves with each other, and I can’t help but trust him. He knows every detail about me—the way I feel about certain topics and my insecurities, down to the names of the pets I had as a kid. I keep having to remind myself we’re just friends, and that’s all this is. It’s all it can ever be.
As I think about Jenna, another wave of jealousy hits me in full force, and then it’s followed by a bolt of guilt. Something unspoken has been simmering between me and Hunter, and neither of us wants to admit it. I sure as hell don’t. I can’t.
I didn’t expect to feel anything when we practiced kissing, but I felt everything. I couldn’t make any sense of it. As soon as he poured himself into me, I was left gasping, my body buzzing with something I couldn’t explain. That wasn’t supposed to happen. I shouldn’t feel that way. I can’t give those thoughts attention, so I push them away and bury them deep.
My mind wanders back to seeing Jenna at the door with desperation on her face and in her voice. I’m sure she’s scared, and I can only imagine how much strength it took to confront Hunter. I know he’s rejected her calls for weeks, and part of me wonders if that was due to me and how much I needed him. While I don’t like her, I admire her fearlessness. What if the baby truly is his? All the scenarios and unknowns almost make me panic. Will he move out? Will she move in? The selfish part of me doesn’t want to lose him. I’ve already lost so much, and this is just another reminder of how alone I really am.
“Everything okay?” Hunter asks as I wipe a rogue tear from my cheek.
I push the thoughts aside and give him a small smile. “Yeah, just nervous about seeing my parents,” I say, trying to cover up my true feelings.
He nods, though I’m not sure he buys it. “I’m actually getting nervous too. Meeting the parents...it’s a big deal.” He waggles his brows, making me laugh.
“You’re supposed to be the strong one,” I tease and release a sigh. “But yeah. It’s a big deal, at least in my family.” They hadn’t even met Brandon.
I twist the metal around on my finger. Once again, he was right. Having rings like this will help make our story more believable. I just can’t get over the amount he spent, knowing that he’ll never get the price he paid for it when it’s sold later. I was shocked he knew what type of ring I’d like, but then again, after sharing so much with him, it shouldn’t surprise me. Sometimes, I think he knows me better than I know myself. All this makes me feel like a burden, and I know he’d argue that I’m not, but I can’t help it. He’s done so much for me, and I feel like I’ll never be able to repay or thank him enough.
The rings feel foreign on my finger, but I can’t stop looking at them. If the circumstances were different, I’d be over the damn moon about having something so gorgeous, but I have to remind myself it’s pretend. All of this—the rings, the kissing and touching—is nothing more than a façade for the outsiders looking in.
Eventually, the plane lands in Salt Lake City, and we deplane without delay. After we get our luggage, we wait in line for the rental car, which doesn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. I give Hunter the address to my parents’ house so he can plug it into his phone because it’s much easier than directing him. Soon, we’re pulling out of the airport parking lot and heading toward my hometown of Park City. As I glance at the mountains surrounding the city, I realize we’re actually doing this. My nerves kick into overdrive, causing my legs to shake as Hunter drives.
As my anxiety gets the best of me, I can’t stop imagining the worst-case scenario after telling my parents I’m pregnant. At least Hunter is here with me, so it won’t be as scary. When we’re twenty minutes away from my parents’ house, Hunter’s cell phone vibrates, and I see Jenna’s name flash across the screen.
“Are you going to answer it?” I ask, a tinge of jealousy returning.
“No,” he says flatly, rejecting the call.
I look out the window, trying to keep my voice level and calm. “You can’t keep ignoring her. What if something happened? Being stressed while pregnant isn’t healthy for her or the baby.”
A chuckle releases from Hunter’s lips. “I’m sure she’s fine. This whole situation isn’t anything to worry about. Take your own advice and stop stressing.” He grabs my hand. “It’s not healthy for you or the baby.” He repeats my words in a mocking tone. “Lennon, I’m here for you. Always. We’re gonna get through this.”
I know he’s trying to comfort me, but it’s easier said than done. “Hunter, I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep. Jenna showing up today was proof that things always change. I know you said the baby isn’t yours, and I’m putting my trust in you when you say that. But it’s just a reminder that you’ll meet the woman of your dreams one day and want to start your own family. I know you said you’ll always be around for me and the baby, and while that might be true right now, there’ll come a time when you can’t, and I’m trying to accept that.” I suck in a deep breath. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to me, Hunter. When you’re ready to date and forget about this fake marriage, just let me know. It’s tearing me apart to know that my fucked-up situation holds you back. I can’t be that person. I won’t be.”
He tenses, grabbing the steering wheel tight before glancing over at me. “You have nothing to worry about. I know we’re just friends, Lennon, so stop believing you’re going to ruin some relationship of mine that doesn’t even exist because you’re not. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I haven’t been with anyone in a while. And before you even start, it’s not because of you. I don’t want to be with anyone, especially not right now.” His words linger, filling the car.
I open my mouth to say something, realizing how confused I am about this. Instead of speaking, nothing comes out. I want to ask him how he can feel that way, how he can be so content with this plan or how it could mess things up with his potential dating life. But I don’t. My hormones are completely out of whack, and I’m overly emotional. I need to gain control because, in ten minutes, we’ll be face to face with my parents. I can’t show up upset or crying with a man I’m claiming to be my husband. It would be the worst first impression ever. My mother will notice, and it’ll be a conversation I don’t want to have before I drop the pregnancy bomb on them.
“Listen. We’re almost there, and I think it might be best to put this on hold and wait to talk about it when we’re back home. Right now, we have a fake marriage to pull off. We have to get into character and play the part of the madly in love newlyweds for my unsuspecting parents.” I look over at him, and he nods in agreement.
“That’s probably for the best,” he says, turning down my parents’ street.
I swallow down the knot in my throat as the house comes into view. We pull into the driveway, and I try to gain an ounce of strength, though I feel like I’m crumpling from the inside out. Hunter grabs my hand and squeezes.
“Do I look pregnant?” I ask him with a smirk, gesturing to my baggy shirt. Although I’m only fifteen weeks pregnant, my small bump is noticeable in tight shirts. They can’t know how far along I really am because it would ruin our entire story.
“You look great,” he reassures me with a wink, which should calm me down, but I’m hit with a rush of nerves. “Let’s do this, wifey.”
“What if this is a disaster? What if my parents freak the hell out? What if they figure out we’re lying, and this was all for nothing? What if—?”
“Lennon.” Hunter’s deep voice snaps my gaze up to his eyes. He wraps a hand around the nape of my neck and pulls me close until our lips collide. I instantly relax, letting his mouth erase all my fears. He pushes back, and I frown. My breathing is erratic as I replay what just happened in my mind. “Better?” he croaks out as if the kiss affected him too.
“Uh-huh,” I manage to say, thoughts of my parents vanished. Why does he have this effect on me? I blink, wishing I had time to figure it out but knowing I don’t.
A chuckle escapes him. “Good. We’ve got this.”
“Right.” I nod in agreement. “Did you just kiss me to shut me up?”
“I’d never.” His light tone has me thinking otherwise. “Let me say this, I’ve not met a woman’s parents who haven’t loved me.”
I scoff with a chuckle. “Oh, overconfident, are we? Well, my parents aren’t like most,” I remind him.
Hunter lifts my hand and presses a soft kiss to my knuckles. Electricity streams through me when my eyes meet his. “It’s going to be so damn believable, we might end up believing we’re actually married by the end of the trip.”
His encouraging words have me laughing, and I feel a lot better. Hunter knows what he’s doing, and we’ve prepared for this.
Hunter gives me a reassuring smile, then opens the door to get out. Rounding the car, he comes over to open mine. He helps me out, being the sweet gentleman I’ve seen these past few months. As we walk around to the trunk, I glance down at my left ring finger and wonder what in the actual fuck I’m doing. There’s no time to break it down, though, because my mother’s voice causes me to still. When I look up, I plaster a smile on my face. She closes the space between us, then pulls me into a big hug with my father behind her.
“Lennon! I’m so happy you’re finally here,” she squeals. “How was the flight?”
Hunter pops his head up from the trunk and gives her his infamous boyish grin. My mother’s eyes meet mine right before her jaw falls to the ground. He does seem to have that effect on people. My mother included.
“Mom. Dad. This is Hunter,” I introduce. He gives my father a friendly handshake, and my mother hugs him. I think I even catch her squeezing his muscles.
“So is this my surprise, honey?” she asks, grinning wide.
Hunter lets out a hearty laugh.
“So now you know where Sophie and Maddie get it from,” I tell him, my cheeks heating.
Mom’s eyes light up. “So you’ve met all my girls?”
“I have,” he tells her, but before the conversation can go any further, my father suggests we head inside, which I’m grateful for. Hunter swings his duffel bag over his shoulder and grabs my carry-on as Dad takes my giant suitcase. As we’re walking to the door, Hunter places his hand on the small of my back, making my entire body light up. I’m trying so damn hard to find my confidence as we step inside.
I keep my left hand hidden and so does Hunter, not wanting my parents to notice the rings until we’re ready. Dad suggests we go into the sitting room and catch up.
“Do you guys want some coffee? I’ll get a pot ready,” Mom asks, and we both nod, though my heart races because she’ll definitely notice that I’m not drinking caffeine.
“That’d be great, Mrs. Corrigan,” Hunter says. Dad takes a seat as Mom heads into the kitchen. Hunter and I sit on the sofa across from him. We chat about the flight, my job at the school, and he asks how Sophie and Maddie are doing. Hunter’s as calm as can be, keeping eye contact and loosely resting his arm around my waist, but I feel as if I’m unraveling one thread at a time.
It’s easy to lie to them over FaceTime, but I’m not sure I can actually do it to their faces. So much rides on this week, though, so I try to swallow down my insecurities.
Mom comes back and sits next to Dad. I know the real grilling will begin now.
“So...are you the Hunter I spoke to on the phone a few months ago when Lennon was avoiding me like I was the plague?” She’s being direct, almost too direct.
Hunter’s smile doesn’t falter a bit. “Yes, ma’am, I was. I didn’t want you to worry.”
Mom nods. “I appreciate that because I was, especially after everything that had happened with Brandon.”
I was hoping she wouldn’t bring him up so quickly. The color drains from my face as I think about this trip and how I was supposed to be here with him. The guilt of what we’re doing stabs me in the gut, knowing how different it’d be with Brandon by my side, but it’s too late. It’s now or never. Mom continues, but I’m lost in my head until I hear her next words.
“Are you Lennon’s new boyfriend?” She looks accusingly between us, her brows furrowed as if she’s trying to solve a mystery.
I open my mouth, but I can’t seem to get the words to come out. I choke, knowing I need to say something, but I’m at a loss.
“Actually,” Hunter speaks up when he notices I’m freezing. Moving a few inches closer, he tightens his grip on me, then grins. “I’m her husband.”