It’s been a month since Lennon found the engagement ring that Brandon bought for her. We’ve been working through it together and trying to move past what happened. Though she’s forgiven me, I regret not telling her sooner. I never wanted her to find out the way she did, but there was never a good time to mention it. Now I realize that ring just opened a tender wound, and maybe I should’ve told her before we went to Utah.
When Lennon was happy, I didn’t want to ruin that for her because it was so fleeting in the beginning. When she was sad, I couldn’t be the one to add more grief. All I’ve ever asked for is her trust, and I broke that, something I’m trying everyday to make up for. She’s told me several times that she understands why I did it, and I believe her, but it doesn’t erase the fact I hurt her. I only have her best interest in mind, but in that instance, my need to protect her ended up hurting her. I’ll never make that mistake again.
Before I head home, I text Lennon and let her know I’m stopping by the gym to blow off my aggravation from my work day. It’s barely past three, and I feel like I’ve worked two full shifts.
She texts me back with a thumbs-up emoji, which means she’s probably occupied with her students. Now that her maternity leave is over, she’s constantly on the go between taking Allie to Mrs. Locke’s before work and picking her up after. I know she’s exhausted from getting up with the baby and trying to stay on top of everything. I help out as much as I possibly can, offering to pick Allie up if I can get out of the office early or even doing a middle of the night diaper change. I don’t know how she does it some days, but one thing’s for sure, she’s superwoman.
As I drive across down, I can’t stop thinking about my day and how some people don’t listen, no matter how many times I repeat myself. Months from now, when the project is a complete mess because they’re trying to cut corners, I’m going to be the peon to help clean it up, which pisses me off. I tried to explain to the project manager why it’s important to reinforce the structures with steel. Yes, it’s more expensive, but it’ll last longer. After I was shut down for the umpteenth time, I decided to sit in the back of the meeting and bite my tongue. I’m surprised I still have one in my mouth at this point.
After I run my ass off and lift the heaviest weights I possibly can, I get in the truck and go home. I feel better. I’m exhausted but not as tense as I was before. Allie still wakes in the middle of the night, but she’s sleeping in longer stretches. We moved her to my room and transformed it into a nursery. The space is perfect, and the walls are so thin, we can still hear her little cries in the middle of the night, though Lennon is determined to keep the baby monitor by the bed. Our apartment has quickly transformed into a home for our little family, and as I park the truck, I smile when I think about it. Before I walk inside, I grab the mail and head up the stairs. Noticing I have a pink slip in my box, I go down to the office and pick up whatever the front desk signed for. The woman hands me a manila envelope, and it looks serious as fuck. I tear it open, and when I walk into the apartment and pull out the paper, I feel my balls in my throat.
Allie is in her bouncer, and I steal a quick kiss from her and blow a few raspberries on her belly. She rewards me with little baby giggles that make me forget about the letter in my hand for a few seconds. Lennon rounds the corner, looking as pretty as ever, but notices my tension. “What’s wrong?”
I read over it a few more times to make sure I’m not imagining what it says, then hand it to her.
Her eyes scan over it, then they widen. “She’s summoning you for a paternity test? Seriously? After all this time?” Her nostrils flare, and I can see the aggravation written all over her face, which I kinda enjoy only because I know she cares.
You’d think after the hospital tour months ago when Lennon spilled the beans about how I couldn’t possibly be the father, Jenna would stay away. She did for a while until she had the baby and realized after I blocked her number she’d have to find new ways to contact me. The crazy woman resorted to emailing me pictures of the baby to my work email. There’s no way to block her there, so I’ve resorted to just deleting anything with her name on it.
“Maybe she found out Craig wasn’t the father after all, and she’s backtracking? It’s fucking ridiculous either way,” I say, tempted to wad up the paper and throw it in the trash.
“You have to go,” Lennon tells me. “She’s desperate, and you’ll need to prove to her that you’re not the father. Maybe a paternity test will finally make her leave us alone.”
I let out a heavy sigh, happy that I went to the gym because I might’ve lost it otherwise.
“You’re right. I don’t have any other choice.” I pull Lennon close and hold her against my chest, taking in the sweet smell of her hair and skin.
She bites down on her bottom lip, and when I furrow my brows at her, she adds, “There’s not a chance it’s yours, right?” She looks up into my eyes, and I see worry written on her face. She’s seen the test results, but still, there’s always that small percentage. “I mean, if you think Craig isn’t the father?”
“She was probably sleeping with more guys than she admitted and has a list of men she’s summoning.” I press my lips against hers and smile. “And if I could have kids, I’d be knocking you up so quick, you’d want to cut off my dick.”
“You’re so romantic.” She snorts and rolls her eyes.
“Listen, don’t worry about this. I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure her.
She nods and holds me close. “I know.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it. It’s barely past four. “They close at six. I’m going to go right now and get this shit over with.”
“Do you want me to come with you? Maybe give you some positive reinforcement on the way over?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and it causes me to snort.
“I’ve got enough of you in my head to last me a lifetime, Lennon. They’re going to swab my cheek and send me on my merry way. Shouldn’t take too long.”
Her lips gently slide across mine, and it takes everything I have to pull away. Lennon tends to make all the bad in the world disappear.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” I steal another small kiss from her then Allie before heading to the door.
Lennon nods and smiles. “I’ll be waiting for you...” She winks, then slowly licks her bottom lip.
“Damn. You’re a cocktease who plays dirty as hell.” I leave and rush across the parking lot to my truck, hoping there’s no traffic on the way to the testing center. Though I have no reason to worry or stress, I’m nervous as hell about this. I know the baby isn’t mine, but what if by some crazy circumstance, he is? We used protection every single time, but what if it defied all odds? There’s no fucking way. I push the thoughts out of my head when I park and walk inside.
Once I’m at the front counter, I slide my official summons document under the paned glass. While I wait for them to call my name, I find my courage and go back to the front.
“Do you do sperm count tests here as well?” I ask, hoping no one in the lobby heard me. Though I’ve accepted my fate, I’m still curious if anything’s changed since the last time I had it checked.
“We do,” she says and then explains how it works, though I already know. She hands me a cup, and after the first test is done, they send me to another room to take care of business. After I give my sample, the nurse explains the timelines.
“Both test results will be in within two days. We’ll send them certified mail, or you can come back in the office and we can go over them with you.”
“Nah, mailing it is fine.” I sign a few more documents, and then I’m on my way home. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but I’ll be thrilled to fucking death to put this all to rest once and for all.
Two days pass and as promised, I get the letters in the mail. I had the front office at the apartment call me as soon as they were signed for. I left early because I’m anxious as fuck. After I park, I sit in my truck and try to get my mind right because no matter what happens, this won’t change the way I feel about Lennon. Realizing I’m being a complete pussy about this, I force myself out of the truck, go to the office, and grab the envelope, but I don’t open it. I can’t find the strength to do it, so I text Lennon. Though I know she’s in class and won’t see my text immediately, I still send it.
Hunter: I got the results. Should I wait for you?
I immediately get a text back.
Lennon: Yes! I want to be there for you the same way you’ve always been there for me. I’ll try to get out of my last class, which means I can be home around two since I won’t have to pick up Allie yet.
I smile. I love her so fucking much it hurts. Considering I’m so goddamn antsy, I decide to go to the gym until Lennon comes home. There’s no way I can sit around the apartment and wait. I might literally go crazy. When I get to the gym, I do heavy squats until my legs feel like they’re going to fall off, then finish on the treadmill. I try to get lost in the music, in the pain, in anything other than what’s running through my head. Nearly two hours pass before I get a text from Lennon letting me know she’s on her way home. They found a substitute to cover for her, and apparently, it wasn’t a big deal at all.
The envelope nearly burns a hole in the seat where I placed it. As I pull up to the apartment, Lennon arrives at the same time. She walks toward me and holds my hand as we head down the sidewalk.
Once we’re inside the apartment, we sit at the kitchen table and both stare at it.
“You open it,” I say, sliding it closer to her. “Open it and tell me.”
“Are you sure?” She lets out a breath and grabs it, and that’s when I notice her hands are shaking.
“I’ll do it,” I tell her, and she hands it over to me like it’s poison in her palm. Shaking my head, I rip it open and pull out the papers. On top is the paternity test result, and at the bottom, it says NO MATCH. I instantly smile.
“I knew it!” I tell her, handing her the paper. “I fucking knew it!”
Lennon reads it and immediately stands, then sits on my lap with tears in her eyes. Our lips crash together, and I get lost in her touch.
“I’m so relieved,” she tells me, her shoulders falling.
“Me too, sweetheart. And now it’s out there, and everyone knows. Even Jenna. I’m sure we won’t be hearing from her ever again.” I sigh.
“Better not.” Lennon’s nose brushes against mine. “I feel bad for her, though. I do. I hope she finds the real father, and she can get the closure she needs.”
“Yeah, she’s not a bad person. She’s just lost,” I say.
She turns and notices the other papers on the table. “What’s this?”
I turn her toward me, my eyes meeting hers. “I wanted to see if anything has changed with my sperm count, and they did the testing there, so I went for it.” I shrug.
She frantically searches my face. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get your hopes up because I’m sure nothing is different from five years ago, but now that I have you, I wanted to know for certain.”
“So there’s a chance?” she asks, sounding hopeful, and it nearly destroys me. She notices me swallow hard. “Hunter.”
My eyes meet hers again. “I don’t know.”
I’ve been tested twice, but it’s been so long I honestly don’t know if it can be reversed at this point. After the initial results, I did some research about low sperm count and how men can increase it naturally with better nutrition, avoiding certain medications, drinking less alcohol, and eating less processed foods. The first test was done in college when I played football and trained hardcore year round, which was another suggestion to avoid.
Later, I did the physical exams to make sure it wasn’t cancer or a genetic disorder, which were all clear. I always figured when the time came, and I was ready to have kids, I’d do more tests and anything to increase my chances. This test will be the first step in deciding how we move forward.
Lennon presses her hands on either side of my face, cupping my cheeks so sweetly. “I’ve already accepted it and so have you. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you. At all. But knowing will help us either way.”
I let out a ragged breath. “I know.”
Lennon repositions her body on my lap and grabs the stack of papers. I don’t look, but instead, I watch her as she reads through it. Her smile falls, and tears form on the brims of her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can say. Having this test done did nothing more than get her hopes up that maybe we could one day have more children, and I regret putting her through this.
“No,” she croaks out. “Look.” She holds the papers so tight in her hand and points at one specific reading at the bottom that says normal.
My mouth falls open.
Shock. Happiness.
A load of emotions stream through me.
“Normal,” I whisper. She sets the papers down on the table and turns her body until she’s straddling me. With her arms around my neck, she presses her lips ever so slightly against mine. She rocks her hips against my growing cock, and I need her right now. When she pulls away, we’re both shocked and breathless.
“We could add to our family, Hunter.” A tear streams down her face, and I kiss it away.
“You and Alison are all I’ve ever needed, but the possibility is there now. I’m so fucking happy.” The corner of my lips tilt so high they nearly reach my eyes.
“Me too,” she whispers. The joy on her face has my heart rapidly beating.
She stands and holds out her hand. Once I take it, she leads me to the bedroom. As soon as we cross the threshold, we can’t keep our hands and mouths off one another. Taking my time, I unsnap each button of her blouse, brushing my fingertips across the tops of her breasts as I watch them rise and fall. She helps by unzipping her skirt, then steps out of the pool of fabric around her feet.
“Fuck me,” I say, admiring her curves. “You’re so gorgeous.”
She smirks, watching me with smoldering eyes as she removes her bra and panties. “I need to feel you, Hunter.”
I love it when Lennon takes control. Within a minute, she has my clothes removed and is dropping to her knees and taking me in her mouth. I run my fingers through her hair as I let out throaty groans. Not missing an inch, she sucks and twirls her tongue along my shaft, paying extra attention to the tip as she gently plays with my balls.
“Lennon,” I tell her, knowing if she keeps this up, I’ll explode in her mouth, which at this rate, I think that’s what she wants. She looks up at me with big blue eyes and gives me a half-smile. I pull her up, sliding my tongue into her mouth before I lead her to the bed. I grab her thighs, bringing her to the edge and bury my head between her legs.
I growl. “You taste so fucking good.” I flick and lick her clit and love it when she writhes against me. Lennon isn’t quiet when I curl a finger inside her.
“Yes, yes, Hunter. God, yes...” She pants as I slip in two fingers.
I reach my other hand up and pinch her nipple between my fingers, mixing a little pain with the pleasure. She’s gasping, begging for more as she grabs the comforter. With an arched back, she sinks into my tongue, and I slow my movements, allowing the orgasm to build to the maximum. Soon, she’s moaning my name, riding out her release. I stand, aligning our bodies so I can slide inside her. Then it hits me that the test results are normal, and I don’t go any farther. I’m practically suspended above her as my thoughts take over.
She searches my face. “What’s wrong?”
I furrow my brows as I contemplate what to do. “We don’t have any condoms. Should I pull out? Just in case?” I know she’s not on birth control either.
A sweet smile slides across her lips, and she shakes her head. “No, Hunter.”
My eyes go wide.
“I want to be the woman to give you a baby.” I see something in her eyes that has my blood pumping fast, shaking me to the core.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life,” she continues, and the sound of that is music to my goddamn ears. It’s as sweet as her singing, and my heart is ready to explode.
As I hover above her, our mouths crash together, and I’m lost in her touch, in her taste, in every inch of her as we make love. Slowly, I enter her, and our bodies become one. My movements are calculated, and Lennon pulls me close to her. We’re panting and moaning, falling into the abyss with each other. This woman is my everything, and I can’t imagine her not being in my life. We’ve been through so much shit together, and somehow, we both survived but not without the other. I lose myself inside her just as she wanted.
My eyes flutter open, and she’s looking at me with admiration and satisfaction. I can barely contain my happiness. Lennon wants to have my babies, and I want more than anything to give her that.
“I love you so much,” she whispers as we stay connected.
“I love you too, sweetheart. More than you’ll ever know.”