Chapter 17
As the carriage ascended the mountainside toward the palace, Reece looked out the window in anticipation of seeing Levi again. She was concerned about how he was coping with the unexpected news about his father. It broke her heart to watch him nearly collapse in front of her and Harrison when he heard the news. She wished she could have been more of a support for him, but after Levi decided to ride back with Harrison, there was no time to have a private conversation. She knew the best support she could offer was to send him away to get the answers he needed.
They traveled over the bridge that brought them into the courtyard of the palace, and her heart reacted to the sight of the tall, handsome man standing nobly on the palace steps. He stood properly in his ivory and black striped waist coat, crisp white shirt, and black trousers. His handsome face appeared worn with exhaustion and stress, but once the carriage stopped and he walked down the steps, his easy smile erased all evidence of anguish in his expression.
The door opened, and his hand was immediately there to receive hers. She stepped out, and he brought her into a tight embrace. “It is such a pleasure to see you and have you safe in my arms again. I have so desperately missed you,” he said.
She wrapped her arms tightly around him and peered up into his sapphire blue eyes. “I’ve missed you just as much.”
As Jasmeen was preparing to step out of the carriage, Levi extended his hand to help her. “Jasmeen, I am indebted to you for keeping Reece comfortable in my absence.”
“Emperor Levi, it is my pleasure and honor,” she said, and then turned toward Reece. “Would you like me to care for Mozart this evening?’
Levi shook his head and reached for the zorflak asleep in Jasmeen’s arms. “We shall take him.” He smiled as he softly laughed.
“Very well, then. I will see you before dinner, Reece.” Jasmeen curtseyed before she turned and walked up into the palace.
Reece smiled as Levi looked over at her. “Mozart? That is an interesting name you have come up with.”
Reece studied Levi’s eyes, and although they were lit with amusement, she saw beyond that and could see the stress Levi was burdened with. She refrained from asking any questions about Navarre at this time. She knew she would get the full story soon enough, and she decided to keep this moment, however brief, as lighthearted as possible.
“Yes, I named him Mozart,” she answered him with a smile, “because his humming reminds me of an orchestra. He’s such a funny little guy; he has different humming sounds that tell me his needs and emotions. If he’s hungry, his hum sounds like a violin. When he’s happy, it sounds like a flute. The funniest one is when he’s sad and he hums like a cello. So I just started calling him my little Mozart. He’s quite the musician!” she laughed.
Levi brought his hand to Reece’s cheek. “It is refreshing to have you with me again, my love. You have no idea how much I have longed to have you in my presence.”
Mozart’s ears opened, uncovering his eyes, and his little arms stretched while his illuminating wings fluttered. He looked up at Levi and stared.
Levi grinned. “Welcome to your new home, Mozart,” he said. “I believe you will enjoy meeting the rest of your new family, but for now,” he held his arm out to Reece while gazing adoringly at her, “I have something to show my charming wife.”
Reece took his arm, and he led them down toward the stable yard. As they walked through the well-lit stalls, Reece looked up at Levi. “Don’t tell me!” Reece exclaimed with excitement.
“Yes. Our mare has foaled, just this morning,” he said while turning down another long row within the large building.
Reece clenched his arm. “What did she have? A boy? A girl?”
Levi chuckled. “You shall see.”
He walked toward the large open area, and inside were two baby colts suckling on their mother.
“Twins?” She stared up at Levi in disbelief.
He nodded, and Mozart started humming a flute melody. “Go have a look at them,” Levi said with a brilliant smile. “I believe you will need to find more names now.”
Reece laughed as she walked through the gate and up to the mare. “Hello there, momma! Look at what you made.” The mare nudged her, and the two young colts both brought their attention to Reece. As she held out her hand, the colts came over to her and rubbed their noses along it.
“Astonishing,” Levi said from the other side of stable.
“What is it that has you so astonished?” Reece laughed while the two baby colts returned to feed from the mare.
Levi nodded toward the foals. “The fact that two baby Guardian colts stopped eating in order to make your acquaintance, and that they actually showed any interest in you at all. It reminds me of the morning I encountered Arrow taking an interest in you when he should have had no desire to approach you naturally.”
Levi brought his attention back to Reece, and his piercing blue eyes studied her closely. Reece was somewhat puzzled by the way he was watching her. It was obvious there was more to this encounter than he was telling her. It was almost as if he knew something about how this could happen and why it amazed him so greatly.
“Levi?” she questioned seriously.
His entire demeanor changed, and he smiled warmly at her. “You are quite amazing, that is all. Now, you must decide upon a male and a female name. Do you have any ideas?”
“I’ll come up with something,” she said. “I’m sure whatever I figure out, you will probably laugh at them, like you did with Mozart.”
Reece gasped as her surroundings abruptly changed and she found she was still in the carriage on her journey back to the palace.
“Is everything okay, Reece?” Jasmeen asked as she glanced out of the carriage window in the direction Reece had been staring.
Must have been another vision, she thought, trying to maintain a normal expression. She reached for Mozart, sitting in Jasmeen’s lap. “Just daydreaming, I guess,” she managed.
“You have been staring out into the countryside for quite some time,” Jasmeen worried with a nervous laugh. “I am sure you are anxious to be back at the palace.”
“True.” Reece ran her fingers through Mozart’s soft fur. “Any idea as to how much longer this trip is going to take?”
“We are only moments away.”
No sooner than Jasmeen had mentioned it, the palace came into view. As the carriage traveled over the bridge that led them into the palace’s courtyard, Reece glanced out the window to find Levi standing nobly at the top of the steps waiting for them.
Reece blinked her eyes, more than once. This is exactly like the vision I just had! she thought as she took in the image of Levi standing there in his ivory and black striped waist coat, crisp white shirt, and trousers. Once the carriage came to a stop and the door opened, she went through every motion in disbelief, not once changing a thing about her responses to Levi as he brought her into the same tight embrace he had done in her vision, while saying every word to her exactly the same.
She watched in astonishment as everything played out in the same fashion as her vision. Levi took Mozart from Jasmeen and laughed at the name she came up with for him. Reece wanted to tell Levi what was happening, but she decided to see how long this bizarre déjà vu would last. Levi led her down to the stables to see the twin colts. As eerie as it was, she continued to play along.
Reece didn’t know what to think. It was not just déjà vu; everything happened exactly as it had in her vision, down to the last word. She walked out of the large corral that held the mare and two baby colts, took Levi’s arm, and answered him after he told her she had to come up with their names.
“I’ll come up with something,” she said, “I’m sure whatever I figure out, you will probably laugh at them, like you did with Mozart.”
Levi chuckled. “My love, you must know that I delight in the names you decide upon. Do you realize the moment you told me of Arrow’s name, I wanted to take you in my arms right then and there? That was when I knew you must have feelings for me, and it gave me the courage to profess my own to you.”
She laughed as she took her husband’s offered arm. “Is that so? I remember you having difficulty trying to get the words out.”
Levi leaned into her, giving a quick kiss to the top of her head. “You are correct about that. I believe the fear of your rejection was overwhelming at that moment. However, your expressions had their own way of confusing my thoughts and words at that time as well.”
Reece gripped his arm. “I love you so much.” She stopped and looked up at him before they entered into the palace. “How are you doing? I’ve been very worried about you since you left with Harrison yesterday. We didn’t have much time to talk about this news, and I can’t imagine what you must be thinking right now.”
Levi gently removed Reece’s hand from the crook of his arm and turned to face her. Mozart leaned out toward Reece, prompting her to retrieve him from Levi. Once she cradled him in her arms, the zorflak softly hummed in repose.
Levi gazed at Reece and Mozart with a pleasant smile. “I am dealing with all of this to the best of my ability.” He looked at Reece in consternation. “I had Queen Galleta probe into this being’s mind, and she has confirmed that my father is indeed alive—” He stopped, exhaled, and looked past Reece.
“What is it, Levi? Did he tell you where your father is?”
He looked back at Reece and cocked his head to the side. “You may never believe this, as I continue with my struggle to understand it all for myself.”
Reece brought her hand up to his cheek and arched her eyebrow at him. “After everything I’ve learned and witnessed since coming to Pemdas, I’m sure I can believe anything at this point.”
“I have learned that my father is not in any of Earth’s dimensions. Apparently, he has been transported into another galaxy.” His smile died as he intently studied her expression.
Reece laughed out loud, and Levi stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Now we have more life out there? Your father is in another galaxy?
“You have no trouble believing this is possible?” Levi questioned.
“Why should I? It wasn’t too long ago that you and Harrison abruptly made me aware that aliens really existed and that there were other worlds and dimensions outside of Earth. So why should I have trouble believing that there are other galaxies with life existing in them also?”
Levi released the breath he had been holding and smiled at Reece. He bent to kiss her and rose back up. “It is not only that there are galaxies beyond ours that exist, but there has never been a being that has successfully traveled through different galaxies.”
Reece smiled. “This may be surprising to you, but until I watched that car almost crash into that mountain the day you brought me into Pemdas, I would have never believed that anyone or anything could travel through dimensions.” She looked up at him, astonished that news like this would surprise him. “After everything you have showed me, I’m surprised this news comes as a shock to you.”
Levi ran his thumb along her jawline. “Until this being appeared, no one dreamed such travel was viable.”
“So this isn’t something you believed could ever be accomplished?” Reece wondered in confusion.
“Never,” he answered with a laugh. “This means of travel has never been attempted, nor does it exist. Reece, when my father was taken into this other galaxy, it was accomplished in a most unimaginable way.” He looked past her again. “But the being who delivered this news to us has done it.” He gazed back at Reece. “He has been with my father and had conversations with him.”
“That is what has me confused.” Reece shook her head. “I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that your father is alive. We saw him dead. We attended his funeral.”
“I know. But the fact remains that my father is very much alive. Queen Galleta has volunteered to speak with this stranger tomorrow, as I have very little patience with him and his bizarre way of communicating with me. She will gain more information from him for us all.”
Reece nodded. “Do your mother and sister know yet?”
Levi cleared his throat. “I have told my mother, yes.”
“How is she coping? I can’t even imagine.”
“I have always believed my mother to be an admirably strong woman.” He exhaled and shook his head. “She wept in utter disbelief and has been restored with hope knowing that her husband lives. Truth be told, I think she is handling this better than I, as she was the one to console me in the end.”
Reece smiled. “I don’t know what to say. Her strength of will is an inspiration, to say the least. I am very relieved that she has taken the news well. So have you and the men decided when you will go and rescue your father?”
Levi shook his head. “No. Entering this galaxy is not as simple as you would imagine. We are working on a plan, but as of now we have no way of entering the galaxy.”
Something wasn’t right about the way Levi was informing her about all of this, and she could sense it. “If this man can do it, then why can’t the Guardians?”
Levi’s eyes grew dark as they bore through hers. His somber gaze sent a shiver coursing through her.
“What is it?” she asked softly.
Anguish came over Levi’s face, and he glanced away from her.
“Levi,” she reached for his face, bringing his attention back to her, “what aren’t you telling me?”
He caressed her cheek with his hand. “Come, it has been a long journey home for you, and you should freshen up some.” He reached over to Mozart, who remained surprisingly quiet during their discussion. Levi scratched Mozart’s head. “I am confident that Lizzy and Angie would be delighted to meet Mozart.”
Reece narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t avoid my question. There is more to all of this, isn’t there?”
Levi ran his hands through his hair. “Yes.”
“Then tell me, Levi. I’m your wife.”
Levi shook his head. “Please allow me more time. I must have more information.”
Reece sighed. “Does it bother you that much to tell me?”
Levi’s expression was grave. “It bothers me greatly not to. Please understand that I have no intention of keeping anything from you; however, in this situation, I feel as though I must for now. I beg of you to forgive me, and most of all to trust me.”
“Whatever you are the most comfortable with.” Reece was confused, but the pleading expression on his face helped her concede to his request. “You mentioned Lizzy and her friend would want to meet Mozart?” She smiled.
Relief was apparent in Levi’s features when he returned Reece’s smile. “They would be absolutely delighted to hold a zorflak in their arms.”
He offered his arm. “Allow me to escort you and Mozart to them.”
As Reece took his arm, she thought back to the vision she had that came to pass. With Levi being so overwhelmed by current events, she thought it best to wait until he was more relaxed before she would tell him that she thought these visions were actually premonitions. She needed to know why they were happening to her, but for now she would wait until a more opportune time.
That evening after dining, Reece and Levi strolled together in the palace gardens. The dinner guests had retired to the sitting room, but Levi and Reece opted for a few peaceful moments alone before rejoining the group.
“Your mother really does seem to be handling everything very well,” Reece said as they wandered past the glowing foliage.
“Indeed, and surprisingly enough, Elizabeth is also. Even though she worries over my father’s current condition, I see she is finding great support in my mother’s and her friend Angeline’s confidence.” He paused and brought her into a loving embrace, tenderly kissing the top of her head. “Lady Allestaine will also cope better having you around the palace again.”
Reece rested her head against his sturdy chest, absorbing his rich fragrance. “All of this has to be so much for you to deal with. I want you to know I will be there for you in any way I can.”
She could easily discern that what was bothering him earlier was still on his mind. The way he was treating her led her to believe it all had something to do with her. Every time he even glanced at her, his eyes had shown nothing but sympathy and concern for her. His gaze seemed somewhat possessive, yet protective.
“I know you will, and you have no idea how much you have already been there for me.” He withdrew from her and used his index finger to bring her eyes up to meet his. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the most lovely, breathtaking portrait of an exquisite woman hanging above the fireplace in my office.”
Reece grinned. “Really?” She arched her eyebrow at him. “Well, I’m not sure if I approve of this picture,” she teased. “Please enlighten me, what does this lovely woman look like? Should I be worried?”
“She is the most fascinating woman I have ever laid eyes upon.” Levi softly chuckled. Then he became serious as his eyes locked onto Reece’s. “Her brilliant blue eyes pierce my soul, soothing every nerve in my body.” His thumb traced along her bottom lip. “Her smile eases my spirit in a way I could never explain.” He ran his hand up her arm. “Her flawless body will forever take my breath away.” He brought his lips to her forehead while bringing her into a tight embrace. “I will always be grateful for that portrait of your exquisite beauty.”
Levi stepped back and studied Reece’s face, forcing Reece’s heart to beat faster. She reached up, placed both hands on his cheeks, and brought his lips down onto hers. After a few small kisses, she withdrew from his embrace.
Levi’s eyes opened, and he displayed her favorite grin. “I’m glad you liked the gift,” she said.
“You will never know how much that portrait means to me. I walked into my office the night I returned, so upset by the news I had been given, and I was feeling utterly lost. As I stared up at the portrait of you, all of my anger and tension faded. I felt as though you were with me.” He smiled. “It probably sounds strange to hear, but I do want you to know I will treasure it always, and I am thankful beyond words for it.”
“You are very welcome. Elizabeth did a wonderful job with the detail; I think she might have enhanced it in a few areas.” She laughed.
“There were no enhancements necessary, beloved. Even as I gaze into your eyes at this moment, I am soothed by them.” His demeanor became concerned again. “Reece Oxley, I want you to know I will forever love and protect you with my own life.”
Why is he talking like this? Before she could answer him, he offered his arm. “Let us go back into the house. I am sure Mozart is missing you by now.”
Reece chuckled. “Oh, he seemed pretty taken with Angeline and Lizzy earlier. I have probably lost my little pet already.”
“Well, I did extend the invitation for Lizzy to care for him for the night.”
“Did she accept?”
“Before I could even get the words out of my mouth.”
“Then let’s try to make this visit short. I’ve missed you for too long already,” she said with a sultry look in her eye.
Levi’s eyebrows shot up. “We can bypass spending time with Lizzy and Angeline, if that is the case.”
Reece laughed. “As enticing as that sounds, we would be teased mercilessly for our little disappearing act if we did.”
Levi offered his arm. “Very true. Let us grace them with a few moments of our time.”
As they walked into the sitting room, Reece laughed aloud. Angeline was playing her violin while Mozart hummed along, harmonizing as he sat in Elizabeth’s lap. All eyes in the room were on them, and it seemed everyone was humored by the zorflak’s performance.
Levi and Reece sat on the sofa near the fireplace, and it was not long before Elizabeth and Angeline walked over to join them in conversation. As soon as they approached the sofa adjacent to Levi and Reece, Mozart’s wings began to flutter and he reached for Reece. Elizabeth laughed and handed him over to her.
“Reece, I can hardly believe that we really have a zorflak as a pet. Mozart is so delightful,” Elizabeth said while sitting on the couch next to Angeline.
“He’s the funniest little critter, I will tell you that,” Reece said while Mozart curled up into a ball, ears covering his eyes, as he positioned himself to peacefully sleep in her lap. Reece smiled at Elizabeth and Angeline. “How did the celebration go after Levi and I left the palace? It seems like all the visitors have finally left.”
Angeline laughed. “I must say, I am grateful they are gone.” She looked at Levi. “King Maxen’s grandson’s joined him for the celebration.”
Levi immediately looked to Elizabeth. “Did Luke give you any trouble?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Harrison did an excellent job of keeping him and the rest of the young men at a safe distance from us.”
Levi laughed. “He of all people would know what those young men were up to at such an event. I am glad he was attentive to that in my absence.”
Reece looked at Levi in confusion. “Where is Harrison anyway? Why wasn’t he at dinner tonight?”
Levi brought his arm up around Reece and reclined back into the couch some. “He and a group of men traveled to Casititor tonight. I demanded he leave the palace for a while and unwind his nerves. He has not stopped since he learned of my father.”
Reece laughed. “I have to admit, I’ve never seen him so distressed as the day he arrived at the caverns.”
“He left for our destination as soon as it was confirmed my father was alive.” Levi shook his head and looked back at Reece. “He had ridden the entire night through, without any rest. Apparently, he was only at the caverns for a few moments before you and I returned to find him there. As you know, it was an hour later that he and I rode back to the palace. The poor man has not rested for at least two days now.”
“It does make sense now why he nearly ran right into Angeline the other night,” Elizabeth sympathized.
Angeline chuckled. “It was strange; as he walked toward us, he was looking directly at both of us. We smiled at him, but his expression never changed. The next thing I knew, Harrison nearly collided with me.”
As they all laughed, they were interrupted as Harrison walked into the room. Levi sat up as Harrison walked over to where they sat. “Harrison? What brings you back to the palace so quickly? I was sure you would remain out the entire night.”
Reece’s eyes widened when she noticed Harrison look directly at Angeline with an interesting expression on his face. Reece’s eyes remained on Angeline’s reaction to the subtle glance. Angeline’s cheeks colored lightly, and strangely, Reece could feel the beautiful woman’s excitement that he had walked into the room. Reece looked around to see if anyone else noticed what she had. Somehow, she was the only one who seemed to be aware that these two must have feelings for each other. If I’m not having premonitions, I’m getting weird vibes from everyone. What is going on with me? Reece thought in confusion.
Harrison took a seat next to Reece and sank into the couch. “I believe I have had enough entertainment for one day. Besides, it would have been rude of me not to welcome the lovely Mrs. Oxley back home.”
Reece laughed, but it was Levi who spoke up. “When have you ever grown tired of being entertained? Especially when you are out with the men, and no doubt amongst all of the women who so enjoy your company?”
Reece watched as Levi gave Harrison a knowing grin.
Harrison took a sip of wine. “My good cousin, I was having an excellent time, and then Suzanna Sterlington decided to join in the festivities.”
Reece laughed when she remembered the story about the woman’s bizarre obsession with Harrison.
“But that is not the pressing issue here.” He looked over at the zorflak. “Tell me, Reece, are we going to have two young colts roaming the palace as well?”
Reece laughed. “Why would you say that?”
Harrison reached over to pet Mozart. “Well, your husband has already admitted the reason we now have a zorflak with us is because he is helpless against any of his wife’s wishes.”
“You give Levi such a hard time, dear cousin; however, your time will come soon enough. Some woman will come along, and you will be just as eager to appease her wishes of you,” Elizabeth teased.
“I look forward to that day, more than any of you will ever know,” Levi added in humor.
Reece watched as Harrison didn’t seem to find the comment as funny. Instead, he glanced at Angeline intently before looking at Levi, and then his smile returned. “Keep looking forward to it, my friend. I do not ever anticipate that day’s arrival.”
Reece remained quiet, discreetly studying Angeline and Harrison’s glances for each other.
She was surprised when Angeline laughed in disbelief at Harrison’s comment. She gave him a challenging grin. “And so you plan to live the rest of your life as a single man, all due to your fear of women?”
The group laughed, but Harrison was noticeably not amused. In Reece’s opinion, it was not like him. He gazed intensely at Angeline.
“I never said I was frightened of women; I simply choose not to fall victim to their many charms,” Harrison answered.
While everyone laughed, Reece felt the tension building between Harrison and Angeline. Angeline’s lips tightened, but she quickly recovered and returned Harrison’s smug grin directed solely at her. No, Reece thought, Harrison and Angeline? She wanted to laugh aloud but refrained.
Levi sighed. “I believe it is best we change the subject. Harrison’s arrogant opinions regarding love and women will eventually drive us all insane.”
Harrison laughed and seemed to revert back to his good-humored self again. “A brilliant idea.”
As they had planned, Reece and Levi kept their visit in the sitting room short. Levi properly excused them from their company, and when they arrived at their new living area, Reece sought to question the odd exchange she noticed between Harrison and Angeline. “Did you notice how Harrison and Angeline acted toward each other tonight?”
Levi’s brow furrowed. “Nothing more than simple friends, as they always have been.”
Reece stopped Levi before entering their private rooms. “No, there was a lot more than friendship in their exchange.”
Levi laughed. “Not this again. First it is Jasmeen and Henry, now Harrison and Angeline?”
Her lips twisted. “You really didn’t notice how he was treating her? How she reacted when he walked into the room?”
“First of all, my eyes were not on Angeline as my cousin entered the room; they were on my lovely wife. Not to mention that I am having great difficulty with this conversation, given that I would rather be indulging myself further in your beauty.”
Any thoughts of Angeline and Harrison immediately faded as the expression Levi now held for her had her aching to be in his arms again.
Levi laughed, and then gathered her into his embrace. “Now, Mrs. Oxley, allow me to welcome you to your new home in the palace.”
They walked in, and Reece was in awe of the room. It was nearly the size of the large estate Levi had purchased for them. A grand staircase was the first thing to greet them, with furniture and other rooms surrounding the foyer they were in.
“This room seems to be the same size as the house you bought us,” Reece said as they reached the third floor.
Levi chuckled as they walked down the hall, “My love, our living quarters in the palace are actually larger than our home.”
“What?” she asked in disbelief. “I thought your family only had their private living quarters on the third floor?”
“Well, yes. You can access our new living quarters from the third floor, but also from the main level as well.”
“That’s interesting. I probably should have known, given the size of the palace.”
“I am grateful you were unaware of it, as now I can happily surprise you with our new living area.”
“So this is why you had me freshen up in the rooms I’ve always stayed in.” She laughed. “You always have something planned in that mind of yours. Now, please enlighten me as to where exactly we are?”
Levi kissed her forehead. “Well, our private quarters are in the west area of the palace. There are only two living quarters set up in such a way, the others being my mother and father’s rooms at the opposite of end of the palace. These rooms are designed to give us our seclusion and peace away from the rest of the palace. You even have your own private courtyard on the first floor.”
“Oh? I’ve always dreamed of having my very own private courtyard,” she teased.
Levi laughed. “Now that you have a pet zorflak, it will be a lovely place for him to pass the time when you are engaged in other activities.”
They walked into a large room that held an enormous bed. The fireplace was lit, and the room was complete with two chairs and a long chaise situated in front of it.
“Do you approve of the bed chambers?”
She couldn’t remove her eyes from the luxurious bed that awaited them. “I love it,” she absently answered.
Levi brought his arms around her waist. “Would you care for some tea?”
Reece gently removed his hold on her and sauntered over to their grand bed. She turned and gracefully lounged across it, staring as Levi stood paralyzed watching her.
She ran her hands over the silky smooth fabric of their luxurious comforter. “No tea for me. This bed is too inviting.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “Care to join me?”
Levi was at her side in a moment, his lips covering hers as his hands aggressively searched for the buttons of her dress. Reece ran her hands through Levi’s hair, so thrilled to be here and in his arms again.
Later that night in bed, Reece lay awake and was concerned more than ever about Levi. His sturdy body was molded tightly around hers, arms protectively wrapped around her, while his chin rested atop of her head. He hadn’t let go of her since he drifted off to sleep, and the tension in his strong arms made her wonder why he was being so sheltering of her.
As much as she enjoyed having him hold her in this manner, her mind couldn’t rest easy. She knew something wasn’t right with him. She lay there, gently running her fingers along his arm. She had to get him to talk to her, and she resolved to do it the next morning. He was bearing a burden, and she knew it had to do with her.