The way Sadie’s eyes had lit up with excitement when I touched her had me thinking all kinds of things I didn’t need to be. From the way she’d come apart in my lap from such a simple touch, I had no doubt she was innocent. Then she’d also been so fucking tight, there was no way she wasn’t still a virgin. That was something that I had a hard time imagining. Were guys in Alabama idiots? Blind? How was it that Sadie was so untouched, as gorgeous as she was? It made no sense, but I could already feel a possessiveness taking over me. I’d never been possessive over any girl. I hadn’t had to be. Normally, I was pushing them away or hiding from them. With Sadie I wanted her beside me all the time. And after today I wanted her in my arms, or on my lap. Who was I kidding? I wanted her in my bed.
That wasn’t something that was going to happen, though. My plans to leave hadn’t changed. I had to leave when the summer was over. I had a tour scheduled, and my life had no room for relationships. At least, not the kind that I’d want with Sadie.
“Why are you frowning?” Sadie asked, and I pulled her closer to me. I hated the idea of walking away from her and leaving her here, available for some other guy to experience what I’d just experienced—or more. I felt my chest tightening, and the urge to grab her in my arms and run off with her somewhere no one could find us was overwhelming.
Sadie’s hand cupped the side of my face. “Did I make you mad?” she asked softly.
I had to get this under control. She didn’t understand the sudden rage pumping through my veins. I’d kill another guy if he touched her. That sounded unfair, and it also sounded impossible, but if I ever saw another guy touch her, I would lose my mind.
“You could never make me mad. I’m just thinking about things that upset me, and I shouldn’t. I’m here with you. And all I want to think about is how I got so damn lucky.”
Sadie grinned up at me. “That’s silly. You’re the untouchable rock star. I’m just a girl. The world would see it as me being the lucky one.”
The world didn’t have a clue. I was normally a selfish bastard when it came to girls and relationships. I didn’t want them around unless I was in need of some relief. I didn’t care about their feelings, and I didn’t have time to cuddle them and make them feel needed. If a girl wanted me, then she got nothing more than me physically. I wasn’t into anything more. Until now. Until Sadie.
I didn’t have words for her. I couldn’t explain to her what an absolute ass I’d become. The guy she knew was the guy I’d once been. The guy I’d been before the world knew my name. She had found me and reminded me of what it felt like to be real. To care. To need. I slipped my hands around her waist and lowered my mouth until it hovered over hers. “You saved me, Sadie. You may not realize it, but you did,” I told her before claiming her mouth.
Ms. Mary started fussing over me the moment I walked in the door. Jax smiled and enjoyed it immensely as I assured her that Jessica and I were both fine.
“Girl your age havin’ to run her mama to the doctor in the middle of the night ain’t right, I tell ya. You’re too young to be sleeping in a waiting room all by yourself.” She turned and pointed her spoon at Jax. “You should have been there. What good are you if you ain’t there when she needs you?”
“Ms. Mary, he didn’t know about it either. I didn’t call anyone. You can’t blame Jax for anything.”
Ms. Mary let out a loud “hmph” and started stirring her pot of cheese grits again. “Well, you should’ve called him. He would’ve come. You’re too young to be alone in hospitals. Crazy people out there.”
Jax took my plate to the table, then crooked his finger for me to come sit down. I sat beside him.
“I didn’t think about calling anyone. I’ve been taking care of my mother for a long time now. It’s no big deal.”
Ms. Mary spun around and pointed her spoon at me. “And that’s not right. Who takes care of you?” She waited for my answer, and getting none, she nodded. “That’s right, no one does. You don’t know when to ask for help because you never had anyone to ask before. Well, now you do. You got a boy right there who looks like he would drink your bathwater if you asked him, and you got me and Mr. Greg and Marcus. Take your pick. Just stop trying to do it all alone.” She let out a deep sigh and turned back to her stove.
Jax squeezed my hand. “She’s right. Call me.”
I smiled at him, and he grinned.
“And, yes, if you want me to, I’ll drink your bathwater.”
I laughed out loud and shook my head. “You’re crazy.”
“About you.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I took a deep breath to calm down. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. She’s right. I’m not used to asking for help. But it’s nice to know I have people around me who care. This is all new to me.”
Jax leaned over and whispered in my ear, “No matter where I am, I’ll always be there when you need me.”
I shivered from his warm breath against my skin and nodded, but I didn’t meet his gaze. I needed to get my heart out of my eyes first.
Marcus walked in as we were finishing our breakfast. He stared at me when he stepped into the kitchen. “Is your mom all right?”
“Yes, thank you.”
He gave me a forced smile. “Good,” he said, and walked to the laundry room to get dressed.
I turned to Jax as he finished his juice. “I need to get to work too.”
He frowned, then stood up and took both our plates to the sink and rinsed them. I went to get my apron, and Ms. Mary shook her head.
“No, Mr. Greg needs you outside more than I need you in here. He’s battling his arthritis today. He won’t admit it, but I can see it on his face. Go help him.”
I nodded. I would need to go change into my shorts. I looked back at Jax to say good-bye before I left.
He smiled at me. “I have a song I’m working on, and sitting out at the gazebo today sounds like the perfect place to be creative. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
Knowing Jax would be outside with me today made the day seem much brighter. I walked over to Mr. Greg, who was kneeling in the herb garden, mumbling to himself.
“Morning, Mr. Greg. Why don’t you get off those knees and let me do this?”
He frowned at me. “I have a bone to pick with you, young lady. Ain’t no girl your age supposed to be gallivanting across town in the middle of the night. You should’ve called me.”
My insides grew warm and toasty. I really had made a new family here. “I know, Mr. Greg, and I’m sorry. I’m just used to taking care of things on my own, and I didn’t think about the fact that I have people who care enough to help me.”
He stood up slowly, and I fought the urge to give him my arm. I knew his pride wouldn’t take my offer very well.
“Just so you understand you’ve got people to help you now. Lord knows the Stone boy would’ve come running if you’d called him. I ain’t never seen such a lovesick puppy in all my life.”
I blushed. “I wouldn’t call him lovesick.”
Mr. Greg raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” he said, and shook his head. “Well now, I guess we got work to talk about, now, don’t we? Go ahead and weed this here garden, but be careful of the herbs. Once you’re done, go ahead and pull some rosemary and dill weed for Ms. Mary. She needs some for the kitchen. I’m going to go rake the sand and get it smooth around the bridge.”
I nodded, kneeled, and started weeding. Herb garden weeding was never easy, because so many herbs resembled weeds. It wasn’t something I could do mindlessly, so I focused on my job.
The sound of a guitar broke my concentration, and I glanced up to see Jax sitting in the gazebo, strumming away and watching me. I grinned and waved, then turned back to my weeds. It proved hard to think about what I needed to be doing when his voice floated across the yard. I stopped several times to listen to his words, but I didn’t dare look at him. His music soon became sporadic, and I turned to see him writing on a piece of paper and working diligently over his guitar. His frown and concentration made it hard not to stare. I knew if he caught me, it might mess up his process. Other times, I caught him watching me, and he would wink, and I, in turn, would blush. However, the heat of the day made my cheeks pink, which thankfully helped hide it.
After I’d finished weeding and had taken Ms. Mary the rosemary and dill weed, I was given the job of picking up any debris that might have blown in overnight. I’d just finished carrying a handful of twigs over to Mr. Greg’s wheelbarrow when Jason came out. He went over to Jax, and I went back to picking up debris. Jax got up and followed Jason inside. I tried not to wonder about where the brothers were going, and I focused on my job.
Marcus came out to get me for lunch, and I went inside to eat with him, Ms. Mary, and Fran. Everyone seemed quiet, so I didn’t talk much either. Fran mentioned she needed to write up a list of cleaning supplies to be picked up from the store, and Marcus made us all laugh with stories about the new guy at the front gate. Ms. Mary seemed nervous about something, and Fran wouldn’t meet my eyes. Only Marcus seemed his normal self. After we ate, I started cleaning and preparing the fresh fruit Ms. Mary had bought from the farmers’ market.
I tried to stay focused on my job, and at dinnertime, when Jax still hadn’t returned to the gazebo, I agreed to a chess match with Mr. Greg. I’d put him off several times the past week because Jax had always been waiting on me. Although I seemed to be getting better, and had even won a few matches recently, today Mr. Greg won because my mind stayed on Jax. I let the old man gloat, and I smiled at his teasing, then went inside to the kitchen.
Marcus stood over by the table with a tray of food. He smiled at me. “Hey, you. Who won the chess game? I saw you two hard at it when I came in.”
I smiled and shrugged. “He did. I was off my game tonight.”
Marcus frowned and sighed. “Yeah, I can understand. You two have been inseparable lately. I can see why her arrival would bother you.”
His words startled me. “What do you mean? Her who?”
Marcus darted his eyes at Ms. Mary, who made a “tsk” sound but kept her back to both of us.
“Uh, sorry, I thought you knew. I, um . . .” He paused and shuffled his feet like he would rather leave the room.
Ms. Mary let out a sigh. “Go ahead and get it out, boy. You done let the cat out of the bag. Don’t leave her to wonder.”
Marcus nodded and said to me, “I don’t know how much of the celebrity stuff you read, but Star Holloway, the pop princess, and Jax have been an item for a while now. Even before he came here this summer. She flew in on his private jet this afternoon and is staying the night before she heads back out to finish her tour.”
My knees went weak.
“Now, don’t go making it sound worse than it is, boy,” Ms. Mary scolded. “I believe she is just a friend of Master Jax’s. The way he has been following you around like a puppy dog, I can’t fathom he has another girl.”
I couldn’t form words. I stared at Marcus, who shrugged. I didn’t know what to say or what to think. I needed time alone, so I headed to the laundry room to change. The idea that Jax had a pop-star girlfriend didn’t make sense to me. He’d never spoken of her before. But I didn’t think Marcus would lie to me. Star Holloway was in this house, and she also happened to be the reason Jax had never came back out to the gazebo. It hurt that he’d never taken the time to explain. But then again, what could he tell his guest, “Excuse me, but I need to go tell the kitchen help you’re here that and I won’t be coming back to see her today”? I mean, really, this situation would be hard to grasp for someone in his world.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself I’d known all along a relationship with him was impossible. He was a rock star, and I worked in his kitchen and his garden. I’d walked right into a situation with no happy ending, and I’d known it but taken that road anyway, just because a pair of steel-blue eyes made my heart race and a boyish grin made me melt. “Stupid” might be too kind a word for me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped out of the laundry room.
I walked past Ms. Mary, who stood wringing her hands, waiting for me. “I knew you was gonna get hurt,” she said with worry in her voice.
I bit my bottom lip, still not trusting myself to speak. “You wait, now, on Marcus. He’ll take you home.” The thought of having to talk to Marcus, and waiting at the house any longer while Jax sat in the dining room with a pop princess, who for obvious reasons made a much better match for him than I did, panicked me. I needed to escape. I swallowed again and said to Ms. Mary, “I’m fine, but I want to go home now. I’ll see you in the morning. A bike ride is just what I need.”
I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes. Ms. Mary frowned and reminded me to be careful. I headed home as quickly as I could. The farther away I got, the harder the idea of going back the next day seemed. The thought hurt so badly I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m only so strong; I have a breaking point. I’d asked for this when I’d agreed to this thing with Jax. I’d allowed myself to be dazzled by his good looks and charming personality. His intense eyes and boyish grin somehow made me stupid and careless. I needed protection from myself. The horrifying thought that I might be like my mother hit me, and tears burned my eyes. I’d let him touch me, and I’d even wanted to touch him. I hadn’t even known he had a girlfriend. Maybe if I’d watched more television I’d have known this. How stupid could I be? I knew nothing about Jax but that he was a rock star. I hadn’t thought to check into his personal life.
I stopped at the public beach. A walk would help calm me down before I went home to face Jessica.
Amanda started coming down from the lifeguard stand. When she saw me, she shot her carefree, bubbly grin at me. “Sadie! I called you just this morning, but I didn’t get an answer. I left a message, though. So, are you coming?”
I’d forgotten about the party. “Um, sure, I’ll come.”
She appeared genuinely happy. I couldn’t figure out why this nice, cheerful girl seemed so anxious to be my friend.
“About the lifeguarding job. How much does it pay?”
She beamed at me again, apparently thrilled at the idea of my being a lifeguard. “Twelve dollars an hour, and you get the benefits of being at the beach all day!”
That was what I made now. It was good money, but I wouldn’t get nearly as many hours. But it might be enough. “All right. If I were interested, what would I need to do?”
She grabbed my hand and led me over to the building located off the boardwalk, with bathrooms, a beach bar, and some offices. “You need to go in there and see Jerry in the morning. He can give you all your info. There is endurance training and a few days of classes. How long it takes depends on how well you do. But Jess just quit last week, and we’re short a lifeguard, so now is a good time to go see him.”
I nodded and tucked the information away. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.”
Amanda smiled brightly. “Cool. See ya.”
I turned and walked down the beach. I’d worn shorts and a blue tank top, but the evening breeze still held the day’s warmth, so it didn’t matter. I walked to the edge of the public beach and sat down on one of the deserted wooden chair rentals. Without the cushions that came with them, they were a little painful, but if I sat on the beach I’d get all sandy.
I lay back and closed my eyes, letting the sound of the ocean waves soothe me. I’d let this happen. I’d known when I agreed to spend time with Jax I would end up caring way too much. He’d never said we were exclusive. He’d never said he loved me. Yes, he had said many other things, like about my being his air and his needing me, but now all those words seemed almost unreal. Frustrated with myself for doing exactly what every other girl in America would do, I knew I wasn’t any different from the rest of them. His eyes and smile melted me and sent warm shivers down my spine. I needed to get a grip and get over it. Jax liked spending time with me because I happened to be a no-strings-attached deal. He liked being around me because I didn’t think everything he did was wonderful. He had enough admirers. He hadn’t asked for or required my love. I’d gone and fallen in love with him of my own free will. I rubbed my eyes with my fists and fought the stupid tears spilling out. Crying would not help this or make it better. Yet here I sat, alone on the beach, crying like a lovesick loser.
“Ugh!” I sat up and wiped my face with my shirt and decided I wouldn’t cry another tear over Jax Stone.
My chest ached at the thought of leaving Ms. Mary and Mr. Greg and Marcus . . . . Heck, I would even miss Fran. But could I stay there and see him and be at his house, loving him the way I did? I let out a sigh, not sure what to do. At times like this, I really needed a mother with common sense and wise words.
“Sadie.”
I turned. Marcus was walking toward me. I wiped the rest of my tears away and stood. He still wore his white dress shirt from work, but it was untucked and the collar was loosened.
When he got close enough to me to hear my voice over the wind and waves, I asked, “Marcus, what are you doing here?”
He grinned sheepishly and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder back at the lifeguard station. “I’ve got an inside source.”
Confused, I frowned and looked to where I’d talked to Amanda.
He saw the frown on my face and gave a dramatic sigh. “Do you know Amanda’s last name?”
I shook my head slowly, trying to remember if she’d told me her last name.
“Amanda Hardy, a.k.a. my little sister.”
My mouth formed an O, and I turned back to him, studying his attractive features. Suddenly I realized he and his sister shared the same eyes and smile. “Does she know I work with you?” She’d never said anything to me before, and her friendliness made a lot more sense coming from the sister of my friend.
He nodded as if found guilty of a crime. “Yes. I mentioned you on your first night of work when I got home, and she remembered you from school.”
I nodded, still shocked at the connection. I’d really never thought about the fact that Marcus had family around here and that I might know the people in it.
And then it hit me: She knew about Jax. “Does she know . . . ?”
Marcus shook his head. “No. No, I can’t tell her about Jax. She would freak out and start stalking my workplace.”
I smiled sadly, but a wave of relief washed over me. “I don’t see her as the stalking type.”
Marcus laughed and raised his blond eyebrows. “Jax Stone happens to be all over her bedroom walls.”
I smiled and sat back down. “Why did you come to find me?”
Marcus sat down in the chair beside me. “You’re my friend, and I didn’t like knowing you were hurt. I wish you would’ve waited on me to take you home, but I understand why you wanted to leave.”
I didn’t reply, because I wasn’t really sure what to say. We stared out at the water for some time.
Finally, Marcus said to me, “You knew he would only be here for a little while. He’s gonna leave, and you’re gonna be left here. Your worlds are too different.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “You’re not like other girls, Sadie, and that’s attractive to a guy. We get tired of the same stuff, and when someone as beautiful as you comes along, with all your sweet, naive, accepting ways—someone like you is what we’re all searching for.”
I started to argue, but he held up his hands to stop me.
“I’m not saying any of this right, so let me finish and see if I can explain this better. When I first saw you, I was immediately attracted to your outward appearance. However, after talking to you, getting to know you, and watching you at work, I realized I would’ve been attracted to you if you were plain and mousy. My guess is, Jax hasn’t been around anyone with your traits in a long time, and mix it all in with the fact that you’re a gorgeous blonde and bam, he got hooked. I can’t blame him for wanting you.” Marcus’s hand fisted in his lap. He seemed angry now. “But I can fault him for acting on his interest in you. He unleashed all his charm on you, knowing it could only be for a short time. And for that, I’m going to make sure he pays.”
A sudden knot of fear formed in my stomach. “Marcus, no! I chose this. You’re right, I knew it wasn’t as serious to him, or even long term. I let myself care too much, and it’s my stupidity. Nothing he did was wrong.”
Marcus shook his head. “He’s older and more knowledgeable about the ways of the world than you. I blame him.”
I laughed. Not sure how, but I did. “I need a friend, Marcus, not a white knight.”
Marcus grinned. “I am your friend, Sadie, and that will never change. However, I wouldn’t mind being your white knight, too.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t really choose him, Marcus. My heart did. I didn’t want to love him. I knew he would end up breaking my heart, but I couldn’t stop it. Every time I got around him, I fell harder. He isn’t the guy everyone sees on television. He isn’t some rich, shallow rocker. He has a kind heart, and there is this little boy inside him who still needs approval from those he cares about. He accepts others for who they are, and he never judges anyone.”
Marcus’s expression seemed so sad. “You got inside the star and found the heart. It’ll only make this harder on you.” He reached over and took my hand. “I’m here with a shoulder to cry on, whenever you need it.”
I wanted to cry now, but I knew I couldn’t do so in front of Marcus. I didn’t want him mad at Jax because I’d turned into a silly lovesick fool. Instead, I stood up. “I need to head home.”
I slipped my hands into the pockets of my shorts. The evening wind had begun to cool.
“Can I take you home?”
I thought about it, then shook my head. “I’m close to home, and the ride will be good for me.”
“Okay, if that is what you want.”
“It is,” I assured him.
“Will you be at work tomorrow, or are you going to be up here for the lifeguarding job?”
“I’ll be at work.” I hadn’t realized I’d made my decision until I said it aloud.