Star had taken up more of my time than I’d expected. I wasn’t good with females’ tears, so I had sat there and let her cry and tell me over and over again how upset she was that Shawn hadn’t trusted her enough. When she’d said that she wasn’t sure she had made the right choice of career, I had for a moment understood her. The life we’d chosen to lead didn’t make it easy for anyone to ever get close to us.
Once she’d finally stopped crying and gone up to the guest bedroom Ms. Mary had put her in, I’d gone to find Sadie and explain this mess. I had wanted to tell her when Jason had come to get me earlier, but he’d said Star had taken one look at him and crumpled to the floor and begun to sob. I’d needed to go then and help him calm her down.
I walked outside, and there was no sign of Sadie or Mr. Greg. Frustrated, I turned and headed to the kitchen. Maybe she’d gone in there to wait for me.
When I got inside, Ms. Mary didn’t look up at me. She continued to wash the large pots in the sink. That was odd. She always stopped what she was doing and asked if I needed something. More important, though, was the fact Sadie wasn’t in here, either.
“Ms. Mary? Do you know where Sadie is?”
Ms. Mary made a “hmph” sound, then let the pot clang in the sink before looking up at me. “Marcus called and said he found her at the beach. She was fine and headed home.”
She was gone? Shit! “Why did she leave?” I asked, already fearing the answer.
Ms. Mary threw her dishcloth into the sink and put her hands on her hips before glaring at me. “You really asking me that, boy? ’Cause I don’t know how things are done up there in Hollywood, but here in the South, girls don’t know how to play your games. ’Specially sweet girls like Sadie. She don’t got no time for this funny business. You said you wouldn’t hurt her, and it took you no time to do just that. Now, Marcus is gonna be there to let her cry on his shoulder, and you go back to your girlfriend and leave poor little Sadie alone. God knows Marcus has a thing for the girl. He’d be good to her. He comes from a good family. He can take care of her too.”
I was torn between wanting to beat the shit out of Marcus for going near her, and not being able to breathe because she was hurting. I didn’t want Sadie hurting.
“Star isn’t my girlfriend,” I said defensively.
“Well, the rest of the world only knows what the media tells us, and last we all heard, she was. And Sadie knows you been locked up there with her all day. She ran outta here so fast I had to let Marcus go early so he could run after her and make sure she was safe.”
Marcus was all in my business. I didn’t like that guy. He was waiting. He wanted me to hurt her so he could move in. He lived here, and when I was gone he was planning on moving in on her. I could see it, and the red-hot jealousy from the idea of Marcus touching Sadie made me go a little mad.
“I’m going to her house. I need to see she’s there.”
Ms. Mary shook her head and turned back to her dishes. “Girl needs a man who can take care of her. Not a rock star.”
She was right, but dammit, I loved her. I couldn’t give her up. Not now.
I lost count of the times I’d attempted to talk myself out of returning to the Stone mansion. I kept reminding myself that we needed the money, and that I would not act like Jessica. I did not run away from life. I faced my problems and dealt with them. I could be stronger than a broken heart. Foolishly, I’d given my heart away to someone who didn’t need it or expect it. It was my fault, and my fault alone. Lesson learned. I’d learned a long time ago not to make the same mistake twice.
I opened the kitchen door, and Ms. Mary turned to look at me. Relief washed over her face. She must have worried I wouldn’t come back. Her expression, and knowing that I would’ve been missed, made my returning worth it.
“Morning, Ms. Mary.” I glanced over at the table, expecting it to be empty, and I froze in place at the sight of Jax sitting in his usual spot. A concerned frown wrinkled his forehead.
I nodded a silent hello and forced myself to face Ms. Mary. “If it’s all the same to you, I would like to get an early start on the garden this morning. Can I come back later to help you with the food prep?”
Ms. Mary cleared her throat. She seemed a little unsure, and finally managed to nod. “Mr. Greg will be happy to see you so early.”
I went straight to the laundry room and changed. I couldn’t deal with Jax this morning. I needed time. Besides, I needed to work and didn’t have time to talk. My uniform would be cleaned and pressed, hanging in the closet with all the others. I sifted through until I found mine. The last time I’d been doing this exact same thing, my heart had been racing wildly, knowing Jax would be waiting on me. So much could happen in a day. My heart broke a little more, and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I could not keep going like this. I needed to get some form of control over my emotions.
Why was it when I finally fell in love, I had to choose a teen idol? Couldn’t I be like normal girls and fall in love with a guy from school? Or a guy from work? Take Marcus, for example. Why did my heart have to do the tango for Jax, but not even skip a beat for Marcus? I growled in frustration at my own stupidity. I would find a way to get over this.
I buttoned up my shirt and took one more deep, calming breath, just in case Jax still sat in the kitchen.
When I opened the door to the laundry room and stepped out, Jax blocked my way. I should have expected him to follow me. Jax Stone didn’t get blown off by a girl. This couldn’t be something he knew how to handle. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t get past without him letting me by, so I backed up to put some distance between us.
“Sadie, please, come talk to me.”
“I need to get to work.”
He reached out for my hand, and I immediately snatched it back and pocketed both of my hands. “Sadie, please.” I hated that when I saw the insecure little boy I saw in his eyes, it got to me. Dang it.
“There is nothing to talk about, Jax. I work here; we’re friends, I guess; and you spent some extra time with me. Your girlfriend is here. No big deal. Now, if you’ll move.”
He took my arms and gently but firmly pushed me back into the laundry room and closed the door behind him.
“What’re you doing?” I asked when I realized he’d locked us in.
“We need to get a few things clear, and I can’t let you go to work until I know you understand.”
I hated the way he acted as if I needed to be reminded of reality. I stiffened and turned to glare out the window.
“Do you remember when I told you I have to get my picture taken with every female teen star in the vicinity for publicity?”
I didn’t turn or acknowledge his words.
He sighed. “I know you do. Anyway, Star and I have been thrown together since we were fifteen. She’s the female me in the teen world, and people like to dream up romances between us. Because we have both spent our teen years in front of the camera, we’ve become friends.”
Nausea boiled inside me. I didn’t need a reminder that Star would be a much better match for him.
“But friends is all we’ve ever really been. I’m not going to lie, because in the beginning we did try out a relationship. It seemed natural for us, but it failed miserably. We were able to call it quits and remain friends. I didn’t know she was coming yesterday. She has been in love with a boy from her hometown for years. They’ve struggled to make things work, but with her lifestyle, they never had enough time together. She just found out he is getting married next week. He got a girl pregnant, and Star is torn up about it. So she came here to see me. She needed a friend.”
He stopped talking, and I knew I needed to turn around and respond. I just wasn’t sure how without acting like the hopelessly lovesick idiot I’d become. I took a deep breath and exhaled, hoping to calm my emotions, and turned around.
“You didn’t have to explain anything to me. I’ve known all along you live in a world I know nothing about, nor will I ever know anything about. I’m just another girl you spent time with for a couple of weeks one summer.” I forced a smile and nodded toward the door. “Now we have all this cleared up, I need to get to work.”
I stepped toward the exit, and Jax’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak.
“You think you’re just someone I spent time with?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. He looked at me incredulously, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I returned his stare. He seemed angry and hurt. I hated knowing I’d hurt him.
“What am I, then, Jax?” I heard myself whisper. “How can I ever be more than that?”
He pulled me up close to him. “You have been more than that since the first night I took you home. You want to know what you are?” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “You’re the person who owns this.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I don’t want to love you,” I forced out through the thickness in my throat.
“God, I hope you do, because you own me completely,” he whispered, and then leaned down and kissed me with such emotion the tears escaped and slid down my face. He held my face as he kissed me, until my knees went weak and I held on to his arms to keep from falling. When he broke the kiss, he didn’t let me go, thankfully, because without his support, I would not have had the strength to stand.
“I should’ve come and told you, but she kept crying and going on and on about everything they had been through. She needed an ear, and I gave her one. I knew when I came to get you last night and you were gone, I’d screwed up. Promise me you won’t ever ride home by yourself again. I sat in your driveway last night after I’d made sure your bike was there and watched the windows for a long time, wondering which one was yours. If I’d known, I would’ve come to you then, but I didn’t want to wake your mom.” He tucked a curl behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch. “I’m trying to make myself let you go before Ms. Mary comes to get you, but you go and shiver at my touch and weaken my resolve to stop holding you.”
He laid my head against his chest, and I smiled. He loved me. I knew heartache would be inevitable when he left, but I knew he loved me.
• • •
I waited on Jax out in the gazebo after work. I’d promised Amanda I’d come to the party with her tonight. She sent a message through Marcus about where to meet her and what time. I’d forgotten until he reminded me. I needed to talk to Jax about it, because if he wanted to do something with me, I would cancel my prior plans. Now I wished I hadn’t accepted Amanda’s invitation, but she had seemed so excited about introducing me to people.
“Why the frown, gorgeous?” Jax stepped into the gazebo and came to sit by me.
“I didn’t realize I was frowning. I’m just thinking.”
“About?”
I sighed. “I’ve been invited to a party at a guy’s house from school. Marcus’s younger sister, Amanda, is in my grade, and she invited me to come with her. I told her yes, but it was last night when I was angry with you because of Star.”
He leaned back and put his arm behind me. “Well, would you be against going to the party with a date?”
I stiffened. “A date?”
He smiled. “Yes, unless you’re ashamed to be seen with me in public.”
I didn’t know what he meant. Surely he couldn’t mean he would go himself. “You mean, you want to go to a party?”
He nodded. “Yes, I think I do.”
I frowned and decided to point out the obvious. “You’re aware these people are going to flip out over you, right?”
He shrugged. “Probably at first, but I figure they’ll get over the initial shock and leave us alone.”
He shook his head, sat up, and turned toward me. “I’m going for a selfish reason. I want them to know you’re mine.”
“Okay, but what purpose does this serve, except to make me the envy of every female in town?”
He grinned. “It’ll let the male population know you’re not available and to stay away.”
I laughed. “All right, then, Mr. Hotshot Rock Star, let’s go to the party so you can intimidate all the guys in a fifty-mile radius.”
• • •
We stopped at my house so I could run inside and change clothes. Apparently, the dress code was swimsuits. I slipped a black see-through cover-up over my bikini and a pair of black heeled sandals on my feet, and let my hair down to its wild, natural, curly mess. For the first time in my life, I could be accused of being vain, and I knew it, but I wanted to look worthy of Jax tonight. I put on some red lipstick and mascara, and then stood back and appraised myself. My reflection surprised me. The black mascara really made my already dark lashes stand out. I went into the living room to tell Jessica bye. She stopped watching her reality television show and looked me up and down, then broke into a smile.
“You can thank me for those good genes you’ve decided to flaunt tonight.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be late.”
She waved me off. “Be careful and all that stuff.” I sighed and headed for the door. She hadn’t even asked me whom I’d dressed up for. Most girls my age wished their mothers would leave them alone, and I wished mine would just care. I grabbed my purse and headed back out to Jax and his Hummer. I’d left him outside for fear Jessica would be parading around in her underwear. He stepped away from the Hummer, and his gaze took me in. I was glad I had put the heels on because I knew it helped make my long legs seem less lanky.
He let out a low whistle. “Wow, you’re incredible.”
I smiled and blushed. “Thank you,” I replied.
He frowned. “Now, could you go back inside and make yourself less sexy?”
“What?”
He sighed. “You were worried about me attracting attention, and you’ve gone in there and unleashed all your deadly weapons.” His gaze skimmed my legs again. “Damn, Sadie, I’m going to have a hard time with self-control tonight, and I swear, if I catch one guy ogling you, he’s going to be able to tell the world he got his ass kicked by Jax Stone.”
I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes. “You’re a little biased.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Do you have mirrors in your apartment?”
I nodded.
“Did you use any of them, or did you manage to become every guy’s fantasy without any visual help?”
I stepped around him. “You’re overreacting. Now come on, let’s go.”
His arms slid around my waist from behind me as he pulled me up against his chest. He buried his face in my neck and groaned. “You smell heavenly.”
I smiled and leaned back against him. “Thank you.”
He kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear. My knees went weak, and goose bumps broke out on my body.
“Jax,” I whispered, “if you keep this up, you’re going to have to put me in the Hummer. I’m only so strong.”
He chuckled against my neck, opened the door, and set me in my seat. He gave me one last smile, which sent shivers through my body, then closed the door. I’d never really felt sexy before, but tonight I did. I knew it was because of him. Just maybe our being together would be believable. But I doubted it seriously.
• • •
We pulled into the driveway, and I immediately spotted Amanda watching for me and my bike.
I turned to Jax. “When Amanda sees me step out of this vehicle with you, she’s going to flip out. So get prepared.”
He laughed. “You act like I’m not used to being treated like a celebrity.” He squeezed my hand. “It’s fine. Stop worrying. I’m used to this. I don’t normally live in hiding like I do here. I know how to handle it.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Let’s go.”
Jax put his hand on my leg. “I’m getting you out, so stay put.”
He held my hand as we made our way toward Amanda, who stood frozen in place with her mouth hanging open.
“Hey, I, um, brought a guest. I hope it’s all right.” It sounded stupid, but I didn’t know what else to say.
She covered her gaping mouth with a trembling hand. “Yes, it’s fine,” she said through her hand, staring at Jax in disbelief, and I smiled because I completely understood her disbelief.
“Amanda, this is Jax. Jax, this is Amanda, a friend of mine from school.”
Jax held out his hand and unleashed his lethal grin on her, and I was afraid she might faint. She shook his hand and gawked at him, but she didn’t seem to be able to speak. “It’s nice to meet you, Amanda.”
Amanda whimpered.
Jax finally broke the handshake and stepped back.
She gathered herself back together. “Okay, great. Um, you guys come this way. Dylan is going to, uh, want to meet you.”
I turned to Jax, and he smiled to reassure me. We followed Amanda, who kept glancing back at us every few seconds to make sure we hadn’t vanished. The two-story yellow beach-style house seemed nice, but nothing like what Jax lived in. I saw people in every doorway and some windows. We went past the house and toward the sound of live music. In the center of the backyard stood a large stage. People were dancing in front of the stage and all down a bridge connecting the yard to the sandy white beach.
We followed Amanda into the large party area. A bonfire blazed down on the beach, and more people were out there. I began to notice people staring at us, trying to decide whether or not this was, in fact, Jax Stone. Amanda led us to a group of guys sitting around a hot tub, drinking with a few girls in tiny bikinis. She cleared her throat, and a tall, lanky guy with a shaved head turned toward her.
“Dylan, this is my friend Sadie I told you about.”
He looked at me and gave me a slow smile. “Amanda said you were at school last year. How did I miss you?” he asked, his smile turning into a cocky grin.
Before I could think of anything to say, Amanda cleared her throat again and said, “And this is her date tonight, Jax Stone.”
Dylan stopped leering at me and shifted his gaze toward Jax, who slipped his arm around my waist. Jax acted so calm and comfortable, almost as though he knew everyone here and wasn’t about to get slammed with crazy fans.
“Jax Stone.” Dylan stood and stared in disbelief.
Jax, once again, ever so politely, held out his hand. “I’m sorry about crashing your party.”
Shaking his head, Dylan recovered a bit and took Jax’s hand. “No way! Hell, you aren’t crashing my party. You’re Jax fuckin’ Stone. You don’t need an invite anywhere, man. Especially here!”
The girls in the hot tub stirred from their initial shock and got out of the water to come around to where we stood.
“Oh. My. God! I’m such a big fan! My name is Gabby Montess. I have your newest CD in my car. Will you please sign it for me?”
Jax smiled politely and nodded. “I’d be glad to, Gabby.”
Gabby grabbed her still speechless friend’s hand, and they squealed together as they ran for the CD and a pen. Others, realizing what was happening, had us surrounded within seconds. Girls calling Jax’s name shoved paper and pens toward him, as well as shirts and shoes and bags and even a pair of panties. Jax had been forced to release me to sign autographs, so I decided to get out of the chaos. I stepped back, and a girl standing behind me pushed me aside. I sank farther back out of the crowd, getting elbowed, and I forced my way to freedom. Once one person lost control, it became a frenzy.
The band stopped playing. I listened to squeals and proclamations from girls in the crowd saying they must be dreaming. Girls pushed and shoved, and yelled his name. Guys even fought to get close to him. I overheard some guy say he had written a song he wanted Jax to listen to. This was crazy, and I had let him walk into it all. I sighed and turned when I heard a girl ask someone standing beside her, “I wonder if he’ll autograph my boobs?”
I realized how much I didn’t like other girls throwing themselves at him. I’d had him to myself, and it was easy to think we were normal, but he would never be ordinary. He would always be someone I couldn’t hold on to. I stared out at the water and decided to escape to the serenity of the now deserted beach.
“Excuse me! Excuse me! Listen up, please!” Dylan McCovey’s voice came over the sound system. I turned to see him standing onstage. He appeared to be very pleased with himself. “I realize we have a special guest tonight, but if you want to stay at this party, I’m going to have to ask you to act like he’s just one of us and give Jax some breathing room. If you can’t do this, I’m going to have you escorted off the property.”
I glanced back at the crowd around Jax, and several girls protested and complained following Dylan’s speech, but they listened to him. Even through the thinning crowd, I didn’t see Jax and figured he would still have to deal with several more fans before he managed to get free. I turned toward the shore and wondered if he would be able to find me if I went down to the beach.
Hands slipped around my waist. “Don’t tell me you were going to leave me to the crowd and go down there all alone,” Jax whispered in my ear.
I leaned against him and enjoyed the comfort of his arms. I hated how lost I’d felt when he’d been everyone else’s instead of mine.
“Dylan’s not a bad host. All it took was my letting him know I wanted freedom tonight with you, and he took over.”
I smiled. “Well, you’re making his party the hottest event this town has ever seen.”
Jax kissed my head. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. “I’m fine.”
He relaxed his hold and came to stand beside me, still holding me against his side. “Do you want to escape down there by ourselves, or do you want to attend this party we came to? Just so you know, I’m good with whatever you choose.”
I wanted to escape and keep Jax to myself. But I’d also come here tonight because Amanda had invited me, and I wanted to hang out with her and meet some of the others. The crowd was slowly getting back into the party. Many still watched Jax. I couldn’t blame them. I wanted to stare at him myself.
“I guess I should go find Amanda and mingle,” I said reluctantly.
Jax took my hands and pulled me close. “When this is over, we can have some time alone.” He grinned wickedly at me. “Maybe I can show you my room again.”
My stomach did an excited little flip at the thought of being with him in his room. We turned back toward the heart of the party. As we passed people, they introduced themselves, and Jax never failed to be nice and polite. He shook hands, and some of the braver guests asked him to autograph their items.
Amanda came up beside me. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. I hope Dylan has made it easier.”
“Yes, he did. We expected it, or something similar, so it wasn’t a big surprise.”
Amanda grinned. “Well, he is the hottest teen idol in America.”
Jax smiled at her, and she looked like she might faint. I elbowed him in the ribs. He needed to work on not overwhelming girls with his smile.
Amanda got a grip on herself. “Okay, so, I want to introduce you to some friends,” she said, “but they’re probably going to be more interested in meeting your date.”
“It’s okay, I know.”
She led us over to a group of girls who seemed familiar. I remembered a few of them from school.
“Hey, girls, I wanted to introduce you to Sadie. She was at school for the last few weeks. She’ll be a senior next year too. Sadie, this is Jessie,” she said, introducing a petite blonde with pixie hair, “Mary Ann,” a petite redhead with wavy hair and surprisingly tanned skin, “and Peyton,” a tall brunette. All the girls smiled at me, but their eyes strayed to Jax.
“I remember you from Spanish,” Peyton said, looking from me to Jax.
When I glanced over at him, Jax’s attention seemed to be solely focused on me. He smiled reassuringly.
“So, how do you two know each other?” Mary Ann asked, and all three pairs of eyes went to Jax. Only Amanda seemed to remember my presence.
Jax squeezed my hand. “I met her through a mutual friend. Then I fell under her enchantment, and I can’t seem to get enough.”
I blushed, and all four girls got sappy smiles on their faces. One of them even sighed. “Wow, I can’t believe Jax Stone’s girlfriend lives in Sea Breeze.”
I started to correct her. I wasn’t Jax’s girlfriend, and he would be gone soon. “Well—”
“She worries about my privacy. But then, I like the fact that she wants to keep me all to herself.” His hand squeezed mine, and I bit back a laugh.
Amanda sighed. “Does my brother know about Jax?”
I glanced up at Jax, and he nodded. “Yes, he does.”
Amanda shook her head. “I swear, he knows something like this and doesn’t even think it’s important enough to share with me.”
“Don’t be so hard on him. It was by my request he not tell anyone,” I assured her.
Amanda wasn’t appeased, but she shrugged. “Well, I don’t think I’ll ever forget my shock when you stepped out of his car holding his hand. I swear, I thought I was hallucinating.”
I laughed, and Jax chuckled beside me.
“I’m going to introduce them to some other people,” said Amanda to her friends. “And I’m sure they’re hungry. See you girls later.”
Over the next hour we were introduced to so many people, I knew I couldn’t remember them all. But I had no doubt they’d remember me. I somehow appeared famous in their eyes. But I happened to like not being the center of attention. It worried me that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the way this changed my life. We sat down by the bonfire and listened to the boys talk about the upcoming football season. They all seemed excited and ready for it to begin. They were trying to impress Jax with their stories, and a couple even broke down and asked Jax about his tour and his playing guitar by ear. He answered their questions as if he’d known them forever. His ability to act comfortable in any situation amazed me. We drew a small crowd when others began to realize he was answering questions and talking. This crowd didn’t seem as crazy as the earlier one, just curious. I ate a hot dog Jax roasted for me while he talked. He’d fixed it for me as he answered questions about Star. The guys all seemed to have questions about the pop princess.
When we finished eating, he stood up and took my hand. “If you will excuse us, I want to go dance with Sadie.”
Their faces shone with disappointment, and I think I even heard someone sigh. We walked close enough to hear the music. He reached down, slipped off my heels, and placed them beside his discarded shoes. He pulled me out of the light and onto the moonlit beach. He nodded to the DJ who had taken over for the band, then back at me. The song began, and I instantly recognized the voice coming over the speakers. Jax held me closer as his smooth, velvet voice sang softly.
“Let me hold you close just for tonight.
When you’re not in my arms, nothing seems right.
Just to see your smile lights up my darkest night.
So, baby, please dance with me in the moonlight.”
Jax leaned back and tilted my face to his.
“Your touch is my only addiction.
Your heartbeat takes my breath away.
You’ll break my heart if you don’t stay.
Your whispers sing to me each night,
and your laugh is my only sun.
“Hold me and whisper you love me.
Hold me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me.
Hold me, I need you to guide me.
I can’t live without you.
Hold me and whisper you love me.
Hold me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me.
Hold me, I need you to guide me.”
The song ended, and I stood in Jax’s arms, unable to look away from his steel-blue eyes darkened with emotion.
“I’ve never understood those words until tonight. I sang them, but I didn’t write them. I didn’t want to record the song, but I lost the battle. Now when I sing those words, I’ll have a face to put behind them.” He paused and traced a line from my ear to my chin. “I just hope I’m able to get through those words when you’re a thousand miles away.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to think about him being a thousand miles away. I laid my head against his chest, and he pulled me closer.