LOST NOTEBOOK

9/24/08

A door with a thousand locks

and ten thousand hinges

swings open effortlessly

onto the underworld.

9/25

On Mott Street four men

in red skullcaps

bang drums and cymbals

to root out the demons

infiltrating Bright Sun Imports

where the owner,

a cigarette between his lips,

his hand on the cashier’s leg,

watches a girl on rollerskates,

singing in Mandarin,

round the corner.

9/26

In a tenement

a vine climbs the pocked wall

from a window box

to the window above

where it flowers

for a woman who depends

on the stranger below

to water it.

9/27

Through a steel door

ajar on Baxter Street

a Buddhist priest

in a yellow robe

has placed a circle of candles

around a girl in a wheelchair.

9/28

A bald child

nearly transparent

in the sunlight

leaves the hospital

on crutches,

his mother guiding him

through traffic

to a bus stop.

Eight years ago today,

my own mother died in that hospital.

9/29

As the stock market crashes,

monitors in Times Square

flash numerals that the crazies

scramble on their calculators,

seeking a formula for acquiring riches

in calamitous times,

encoded by Rameses II,

deciphered by Sufis,

preserved by Freemasons.

Cults spring up

around the notion

that the formula is microscopically inscribed,

but forever unreadable,

on every coin in the world

including the ones in your pocket.

9/30

A palimpsest seven miles up,

among blue clouds,

a ghost plane

like the one I saw

from a remote island

a week before 9/11.

10/1

In what was once called

Red China

the Yellow River

carried thousands of refugees

to the Yellow Sea,

among them a girl on Pell Street

chewing Red Hots

and scooping ice cream

from dusk to dawn

beneath a poster

of Mars that glows.

10/5

A quartz wall

through which the world is distorted

and over which

no person sane or otherwise

would want to climb

even if he could.

10/9

At nightfall a chalice spills

in the ikon over the door

of the Ukranian church

and a stream of light,

like lava, pours

from a dark cloud.

10/13

Penitents in a circle

hold mirrors to the sun,

blinding one another,

while a flautist on the radio

plays an ancient Greek scale.

10/15

A black cigarette burning down

in a white ashtray.

When the music ends,

a woman who never put it to her lips

stubs it out.

10/23

Its flowers — red, pink, green,

and in Manhattan yellow —

can be dried and pestled

to flavor soup and color cheese.

Its three slow syllables

claim many derivations:

Mary-gould, Marygold, Mary gowles,

Mariguild, Marry-gold…

Mary’s flowers,

Mary mother of Jesus

golden in the sun.

10/25

Gusts knocking people off balance

on side streets.

A dog barking at the wind.

10/30

Is it easier to accept déjà vu as a moment

out of another life (the true definition)

rather than a moment in

our current life recalled unexpectedly?

How many people in this city

are asking themselves this question at 4 A.M.?

11/3

A great stillness on Election Eve.

The vast continent.

Its millions of souls

between two oceans.

And in a small room

on a television the weather report

for a single county:

cool and clear.

11/12

Flying into Madrid before dawn.

Iron pavement.

Black glass.

Statues on rooftops —

horses, swordsmen, cannon —

animated by spotlights.

Among the great buildings

the Palacio Real,

an ice palace,

home to the ghosts

of kings and queens

idle in life,

restless in death.

11/15

In the Velasquez gallery,

Las Meninas,

in which a tiny princess,

surrounded by misfits,

is bathed in golden light.

The king and queen are reflected

in a mirror misted with breath.

Whose breath?

And the painter himself,

rendering the scene from within,

gazes out at generations

of strangers not yet born —

the shadows of shadows,

as real to him as the dead.

11/17

On the Calle de Reina,

where all the cats are white,

a man is spearing sashimi with a fork,

twirling the blue seaweed like spaghetti.

He claims to be an encyclopedist

of the lost history —

aborted revolutions, quashed conspiracies,

failed assassinations —

preserved in documents

dating back eight centuries

to which he alone has access.

11/19

Streets alternately named after saints and sinners

and a single Street of Angels,

unmarked, unmapped,

with barred windows

padlocked doors

and a wall where the graffiti draws itself.

11/24

The old woman’s dream:

a violin, a thimble, half a picture frame,

and constellations in the South Seas

known only to sailors.

12/1

Icy rain.

Church bells where there is no church.

The long streets.

No one.

12/17

I crossed paths with a woman

who gave me the name

of a place where people

can only speak in short sentences.

Meet me there, she says.

5/26/2014

Tonight I found this notebook

misplaced on a high shelf

six years ago,

wedged between old editions

of Strabo’s Geography

and the Poems of Meng Chiao.

In the latter when I was twenty-two

I marked this line,

composed in the ninth century:

The traveller’s heart is a flag a hundred feet high in the wind.