The cold of the water sank into my feet, chilling my whole body. My shoulders shook, and goose bumps covered my arms. But I couldn’t bring myself to leave the creatures swimming just below me.
With only the moonlight and the soft glow of the tanks breaking the darkness, the silhouetted animals looked like demons or ghosts. The stingrays that swam in slow circles were the spirits of all the people who’d died in service to the domes, sacrificing their lives so the chosen few could wait out the apocalypse in paradise.
A sea turtle surfaced near my feet, taking in a breath of perfectly filtered air before sinking back below the water. The animal was massive and beautiful. In the daylight, I could watch the turtles swim for hours, weaving around the stingrays like life trapped in glass was the most natural thing in the world.
In the dark, even the sea turtles weren’t enough to bring me joy. Or, not even joy. Just a resigned gratitude for my survival.
At night, the turtles were just cursed creatures clawing their way through the ghosts of the dead as they circled in purgatory until it was their turn to die.
I shut my eyes and pressed my hands to the metal grating of the walkway I sat on.
The air vents hummed as they brought in the filtered air. The pumps hummed as they circulated the water for the dozens of massive tanks housing everything from starfish to sharks. The gentle sound of waves lapping came from the far side of the dome.
There were no sirens or screams.
No racket of factory machines.
The air smelled of fish and salt without any hint of smoke or human filth tainting the scent.
“I am lucky,” I whispered to myself. “I am lucky.”
I lifted my feet out of the watery cell the turtles and stingrays shared, letting them drip for a moment before standing on the walkway that reached over the tops of the tanks.
I didn’t bother putting on my still-shiny boots as I headed toward the far side of the dome. Inside the glass, everything was pristine. There wouldn’t be anything on the path to hurt me.
How could there be? The domes wouldn’t be paradise if I got a splinter in my foot.
I stopped at the top of the staircase on the far side of the tanks. Even after more than a month of living in the Arcadia Domes, I still had trouble believing the beach was real.
Sand stretched from one side of the glass to the other. The water beyond reached all the way to the edge of the dome. If I’d known how to swim, I could have dove down into the pool and swum over the reefs and fish. I could have hidden from everyone. Just floated below the surface, staring out at the world beyond the glass.
In my head, I knew the Incorporation’s marine biologists used the pool in their research. Just like they used the animals in the tanks in their research.
But I couldn’t make the beach feel useful or worth whatever sacrifices its creation had demanded.
If the Incorporation had decided to use their resources feeding the starving people in the cities instead of hauling sand and reefs up to the mountains―
“I am lucky. I am lucky.”
I turned my gaze up to the moon peering in through the glass. The moon was almost full, bright enough I could only see a few stars scattered across the sky. It was still more than I’d been able to see through the shroud of smoke and constant glow of the city lights back home.
I tried to make myself enjoy the soft silver gleam drifting into the dome. The Incorporation hadn’t created the moon, or trapped the stars. The kep had nothing to do with the night sky.
But the way the moon peered down through the glass, like it was watching me, made some childish part of me feel like I was the animal trapped in a tank, doomed to swim in circles until I died.
“I am lucky. I am lucky.”
I headed back across the walkway toward the tunnels that linked the Arcadia Domes together.
“I am lucky.”
The feeling of being watched scratched across the back of my neck. I shifted my boots to my left hand, instinctively reaching for the knife I knew damn well I didn’t have.
I froze, listening for footsteps, or the pop of a kep gun shooting a dart into my neck. But the only sound was the hum of the domes maintaining their perfection.
I looked back up to the moon. “Stare all you want. I’ll be right here until I die.”
The weight of all the water in the tanks seemed to press on my chest, drowning me in the certainty that I was a shit for not being grateful for everything I had.
“I am lucky.”
Whispering the words over and over didn’t lift the weight from my chest as I went down the stairs and into the concrete corridor that cut through the earth and led to the other domes.
Only one guard walked by―a woman who pursed her lips at the boots I still carried in my hand. I gave her a shy smile and kept walking.
I should have been more careful to seem happy and normal. To laugh and revel in every luxury my new home had to offer.
I would have shattered the domes to protect my little sister, and I wouldn’t have grieved for the lives lost. But I couldn’t make myself feel joy for her sake.
Maybe that part of me is just broken.
Shadows filled Bloom Dome as I walked up the stairs into the place Mari and I now called home. Dim lights shone from the edges of the tree-lined path, casting their glow onto the delicate flowers the birds feasted on during the day.
The scent of cherry blossoms filled the air as I crept toward our building. I took deep breaths, trying to let the scent calm me.
“I have Mari. I have food and water. I have a home. I am lucky.”
Careful not to crush any of the blooms, I stepped through the flowerbed that surrounded our building, ignoring the front door and slipping around to the side of the housing unit.
The thin strip of metal waited right where I’d tucked it, inside a cluster of flowers with pale purple petals.
It took less than a minute for me to slip the metal into the side of the window and jimmy open the lock. I slid the window up and waited for a moment, listening for any sounds of fear.
Nothing. Just darkness and peace.
I climbed through the window and into the room I shared with Mari. She didn’t even stir as I closed the window and fastened the lock back into place.
With her black hair splayed around her and her face relaxed in a serenity people like us weren’t meant to know, my little sister looked like a girl in a story―sound asleep, waiting for a fairy to come whisk her away on a grand adventure.
We’re so lucky.
I tucked the strip of metal under my mattress and checked the chair I’d jammed against our door. Everything was secure and safe.
I sat at the table, waiting for fatigue I knew wouldn’t come.