After the night they’d had together, Mike had expected Josh to accept his dinner invitation. He had not, however, expected Josh to send him a flood of kissy-face emojis, along with some disturbingly suggestive fruit and vegetables. Mike was left staring at his phone, perplexed but also grinning.

The date was set for the day after their results would be in. They were going to have dinner, and—with any luck—celebrate their good news together.

Mike had already made an appointment to get tested. He couldn’t wait any longer. If he was negative, that would mean Josh must be too. If he wasn’t—

He stopped that thought short. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about what it would be like if he’d given Josh HIV. Or what it would mean for their relationship.

Josh hadn’t said anything to him about being nervous, but there was no way he wasn’t. If Mike could remove the burden he’d placed on him, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But for now, he was going to go forward with his plans. Woo Josh. Get to know him. And most importantly, tell him the truth.

Before they went on their real first date, Mike had to come clean about his secret identity.

And he knew exactly how he wanted to do it.

That was how he’d come to spend the entire morning trolling Murmur Inc.’s website, waiting for Josh’s channel to come online. He’d abused the refresh button on his keyboard to the point where it now made an ominous clicking sound every time he touched it. He had to have reloaded the list of gay channels a hundred times, with no sign of Bret Monty.

Morning rolled into afternoon. Mike had eaten two full meals sitting at his desk in his loft, his patience growing thinner than spun glass.

“I swear,” he muttered to himself as he hit F5 for the hundred-and-first time, “if his blond ass is hungover and still in bed, I’m gonna lecture him so hard.”

But then, Josh had another job, didn’t he? What if his boss had called him in on his day off? He wasn’t a full-time sex worker like Mike. Or at least, like Mike had been before he’d been benched.

It’d been so long since Mike had done anything else with his life, he sometimes forgot that other people had things like schedules and managers and hours of operation. What would Mike even put on a résumé at this point? He’d worked a glut of part-time jobs when he was in college, but that wouldn’t help him now.

Why was he fretting about this? He wasn’t going to quit porn anytime soon. No matter how much this break from it had made him look at his life. Or how tired he’d realized he was. Or how much he didn’t want to go back—

Uh-oh.

As if sensing his tumultuous thoughts, Josh’s channel appeared at the top of the Live Now list. Mike almost knocked his mouse across the room in his haste to click on it. When prompted, he typed in the pseudonym he’d created for Martin and drummed his fingers on his desk as he waited for the chat room to load. Knowing his luck, someone else would buy a private show with Josh before he ever got a chance.

But as it turned out, luck was on his side. The camera feed loaded, and there was Josh, with mussed hair and faint pillow marks on his cheek.

I fucking knew it.

Without pausing to say hi in the chat box, Mike bought a private show. A new screen popped up with a toggle at the bottom that would allow Mike to turn on his own camera and mic if he wanted to. He left those off as per usual. For now.

Josh appeared in the new window a moment later. He was smiling from ear to ear. “Hey, Martin! I was hoping I’d hear from you today.”

There was a part of Mike that resented how pleased Josh seemed to be to talk to Martin. He was seldom so cheerful with Mike. But, then, Mike was Martin, so in a sense . . .

He gave himself a little shake and typed, Hey, Bret. You look tired. Rough night?

“No, last night was great. It’s this morning that isn’t agreeing with me. I definitely stayed out too late, but it was worth it. I had a blast.”

That made Mike smile. Oh? Were you out partying?

“Nah, I think I had half a beer. It was more the company I was with that made it fun.” Josh looked off into empty space, and his smile warmed. Mike could almost see Josh replaying bits of their night together in his head. Mike’s pulse couldn’t decide if it wanted to race or skip.

He typed, Were you with that guy you told me about? The one you like?

“Yeah, and it was . . . amazing.” Josh blinked and refocused on the camera. “But you don’t want to hear about that.”

Mike had never typed so fast in his life. No, go on. I’m nosy.

Josh laughed. “Well, if you insist. It’s funny, I never would have pictured myself with someone like him, but he’s checking boxes I didn’t know I had. Funny, smart, sexy as hell. The whole package. And I dunno what it is, but I feel safe with him, you know? Like, I can tell that every time he does something, it’s to protect me. I know that sounds odd, but it’s true. I can’t imagine him ever doing something to hurt me.”

Well, fuck. Josh’s words, sweet as they were, reminded Mike what he was here to do. And how creepy it was that he was having a conversation with Josh about himself while pretending to be a client. Mentally, he added that to the list of things he needed to apologize for.

He took a breath and wrote, There’s something I need to tell you.

“Are you cheating on me with another cam star?” Josh winked.

No, it’s much worse than that, I’m afraid.

Josh sobered instantly. “Did I do something wrong? Is it because I was talking about other guys?”

No, it’s not you. You’ve been great. This is on me. I don’t really know how to tell you, so I’m going to show you. I’m going to turn on my webcam.

Josh’s fine eyebrows shot up. “You never turn on your cam. I gotta admit, I’m curious to see what you look like.”

You already have.

And with that, Mike hit the toggle that activated his webcam. A second, smaller screen came to life next to the big one that showed Josh’s feed. It took a second to load, but when it did, the look on Josh’s face would have been comical had the situation been any less serious.

For a full ten seconds, Josh stared at him, eyes wide, jaw slack. Mike remained silent. There was nothing he could say right now that would make this any easier, and he wanted to give Josh time to process. Though the silence made his ears ring worse than the speakers from the club last night.

Finally, Josh wet his lips. “Mike.”

Mike waved. “Hi, Josh.”

“You’re Martin.”

It wasn’t a question, but Mike answered anyway. “Yes.”

“You’ve been Martin this whole time?”

“Yes, I have.”

Josh was silent for another interminable moment. Then he asked the question Mike had been dreading. “Why?”

“At first, it was to help you. I felt bad for putting you out of work and being so hot and cold toward you. I paid for some private shows to get you and your channel off the ground. Of course, that meant we had all that time to fill. We couldn’t have sex, because that would be a huge ethical violation, so—”

“So you spent it talking to me,” Josh finished. “Getting to know me.”

“Yes.” Mike drew a sharp breath. “I know I shouldn’t have pretended to be someone else, even if I had good intentions. It was still a lie. But for the record, everything I said about myself as Martin was true. I only changed my name.”

Josh didn’t speak, so Mike continued. “It seems so silly now. This was before I knew I had feelings for you. I didn’t think for a moment we were going to end up here. And after we filmed together, I thought I’d be the last person you’d want to talk to. But I saw you giving out personal information, and I had to say something. Plus, it was such an easy, no-pressure way to get to know you. You opened up to Martin, and I got sucked into it.” He paused. “Are you angry?”

“I don’t know what I feel. I think I’m still processing.” Josh studied him through the webcam. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Well, it’s not like I was being subtle about it in the first place. I picked another m name, for Christ’s sake, and my username has the word ‘ginger’ in it, along with my birth year. I was kinda expecting you to figure out it was me. I wanted to come clean last night, but I thought you’d prefer a grand reveal.” He gestured around himself. “And so, here I am.”

To his surprise, Josh gave him a small smile. “What in the world made you think I’m smart enough to figure something like that out?”

“Hey.” Mike frowned. “You’re plenty smart. You don’t want to admit it, for some reason, and lord knows you have no control over what comes out of your mouth—”

“Are you trying to get me to forgive you or break up with you?”

Mike’s heart stilled in his chest. “‘Break up’?”

Josh’s expression turned grave. “Yeah, break up. I know we’re not technically dating, but this right here”—he waved a hand at Mike—“is the sort of big lie that ends relationships before they begin.”

Mike swallowed, throat tight. “You are angry. I was waiting for that.”

“Wouldn’t you be? Mike, it’s not just that you lied to me. You kept lying to me. And then you talked about yourself to me as if you were someone else. You got me to tell you things I might not have told you otherwise. I think I have every right to feel however I want to feel about this.”

Mike was silent for a long moment. He dropped his gaze to his keyboard. “I think you do too.”

Josh made an exasperated sound. “I need some time to think about this. It’s a lot to process, and I don’t want to say anything rash out of anger.” He paused. “But as of right now, our date is off. When I’ve come to some sort of decision, I’ll let you know.”

Mike flinched but nodded. “That’s fair. Take all the time you need.”

There was no response. Mike glanced up.

Josh had signed out of their private show. His channel was gone as well, meaning he’d gone offline entirely. The website prompted him to leave a tip, but he exited out of the window. It wasn’t appropriate to give Josh money anymore; it could be construed as bribery.

Now that Josh was gone, the full force of Mike’s emotions swept through him, making it difficult to breathe. Remorse, panic, and embarrassment warred within him until fear swooped in and stole the show.

He didn’t want to lose Josh. Not like this. Not ever.

To his surprise, his eyes stung, as if he were about to cry. Jesus. He hadn’t cried since he was a kid. He blinked until it went away, though it did nothing to change how he felt.

For a long time, Mike stared at his computer screen. He hit the refresh button again on impulse, but Josh’s channel didn’t pop back up. Not that Mike had honestly expected it to.

Two more days. If they had made it two more days, they could have had their date. But no, that wouldn’t have helped anything. Mike still would have had to confess, and Josh would still have been angry. Rightly so.

Mike understood why he’d done what he’d done, but as he stared in the face of the consequences, it was hard to not wish he could do it over. He’d go back to the audition, and from the moment Josh entered his life, he’d never let him go.

Sighing, Mike climbed to his feet. He couldn’t torture himself like this. It could be days before Josh contacted him—if he ever did.

That was a horrifying thought. If Mike had fucked this up forever, he’d never forgive himself. A fresh gush of panic slithered through him and coiled in his gut.

He needed a distraction, or he was going to work himself into a froth. But what could he do? He still couldn’t work. His address book contained nothing but porn stars who wouldn’t want to see him right now. TV or reading wouldn’t hold his attention for long, social media would be agony, and he could only clean and work out so many hours a day.

It occurred to Mike, as if through a fog, that his life was pretty damn empty. He lived alone in an apartment that was too big for him, paid for by a job he was no longer passionate about, and he’d potentially lost the one person in over a year who’d made him feel . . . awake.

And every single one of these things, he’d brought on himself.

How had he not noticed before how lonely he was?

“This is what happens when you live with your head up your own ass,” Mike muttered to himself. “You miss what’s right in front of you. And, apparently, you start talking to yourself.”

He turned to his computer with the intention of shutting it down. Instead, he hit Refresh one more time.

Josh’s channel popped up right at the top of the list. Mike stared at it, wondering if he’d somehow conjured it there by sheer force of will.

That was ridiculous, though. Josh was probably finishing out his shift. They might be fighting, but Josh still had to work.

The desire to see him was potent, but there was no way in hell Mike could go in his channel. That would be a huge violation of the space Josh had asked for. Mike went to close out of Murmur Inc.’s website entirely. Before he could, his phone—which he’d placed on its usual spot on his desk—lit up.

He glanced at it. His breath caught in his throat. He had a text from Josh.

He snatched his phone up so quickly he half expected to send it flying into the wall.

Come back into my channel and buy a private show.

Mike stared at the message, reading it over and over, convinced he was misunderstanding it. His first thought was that it had to be some sort of mistake. Josh had sent this earlier, and due to a bad connection or something, it’d only gotten delivered now. But hadn’t Josh been asleep earlier? And why would he have asked Mike to buy a show from him? He hadn’t known that Mike was Martin and that he’d been visiting his channel. It didn’t make any sense.

Mike hit Reply with the intent of getting some answers, only to drown in the deluge of things he wanted to say. Why was Josh talking to him already? Why did he want Mike to come back into the channel? What the hell was going on?

A paranoid part of Mike wondered if this was some kind of test, but what would be the point? Regardless, Josh wasn’t the sort to play games. He’d never been anything but straight with Mike.

Well, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words.

Mike put his phone back down, retook his seat, and entered Josh’s cam channel. No matter how wrong it felt, Josh had asked him to, and he didn’t want to piss him off further by ignoring his requests.

As soon as the feed loaded, he saw Josh eagerly scanning the left side of his screen, which Mike knew from experience was where the list of users in the channel was.

“Ah, gingersnap93,” he said. His eyes nipped up to the camera, and he seemed to look right at Mike. “Just who I was waiting for.”

Well, that clinched it. Josh had really asked him to come back. Pushing aside his trepidations, Mike bought a private show. This time, he set it so that his mic and cam would turn on right away.

When the new screen appeared, he blurted out the first of his many questions. “Josh, why did you ask me back here?”

“Because you’re a shitty tipper.” Josh had switched positions so he was leaning back against the headboard, laptop balanced on his knees. “Zero percent? Seriously? A lot of us cam stars live on tips, you know. Twenty percent is the new fifteen.”

Mike stared at him in disbelief. “Dude, if this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny.”

“Not at all. I take my tips very seriously.” Josh seemed to sober somewhat, however. “Sorry for the back and forth. I wanted to talk to you, but I had to finish out my shift. I thought I’d kill two birds.”

“You can’t be serious. You want to talk already? It’s been like five minutes.”

“Twelve minutes, and what can I say? I’m decisive.”

Mike was still half in shock, but it occurred to him that this didn’t bode well. If Josh hadn’t needed long to think, that might mean he was so furious, he couldn’t even consider forgiving Mike.

There was no sense in delaying. Mike braced for impact. “What did you decide?”

Josh chewed on his lip. It would have distracted Mike under normal circumstances, but now he wished he’d spit it out already.

“I want to go on our date.”

Mike took a quick breath. “You do? You mean it?”

“Yeah. I think it’s something that we need to do. Though make no mistake, Mike Harwood.” He stuck up a single finger. “You get one more chance. One. Think of this date as a test. If it doesn’t go well—if you don’t prove to me that you’re sincere—it’s over.”

That should have scared Mike, but he was too busy being relieved. “What made you decide to give me another shot?”

Josh shrugged. “I like you. After everything we’ve been through, it seemed like a shame to give up on this. Before, when I called off the date, I felt . . . sick. Like, nauseated. It made me realize how much I’d been looking forward to it.”

Mike smiled. “I know what you mean.”

“It’s funny, I know I should be angrier, but the lie you told, it was such a you thing to do.”

“What do you mean? I swear that’s the only time I’ve ever lied to you.”

“I believe you. I mean the fact that you were watching out for me.” Josh flicked a hand at his computer. “Helping me get my channel off the ground. Giving me all that advice about how to stay safe and get clients to book shows. You’ve been doing this from the start. Teaching me. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a big ol’ mama bear inside.”

Mike grinned. “Nah, I’m just a know-it-all. I wanted to impart my wisdom.”

“And I understand that part of what you did. The bit that still weirds me out is all those conversations we had about you while you were Martin.”

Mike flinched. “Yeah, that wasn’t the best move I’ve ever made. I tried not to influence your decisions. When you asked Martin whether or not you should go out with me, I didn’t say either way.”

“I remember that, but you also used Martin to find out how I felt about our date, and that is creepy. You could have asked me yourself.”

There was no denying it. “You’re right. I’m so sorry. I got carried away. Hearing you say such nice things about me made me realize how wrong that was. But if I can beg you to believe me, what you said before was true. I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Josh looked away and rubbed his chin. His expression was unreadable. Mike overanalyzed every micro twitch of his facial muscles.

After an eternity, Josh nodded. “All right, you convinced me that I made the right decision. You’re still on probation, but we’re definitely going to have that date. Oh, and Mike?” Josh winked. “That sappy speech you just gave was priceless.”

Mike glared at him. “Brat.”

“You know it.”

“All joking aside, I’m thrilled you decided to give me another chance. You won’t regret it.”

“See that I don’t.” Josh stuck out his tongue. “Although, to be honest, if the roles were reversed, I dunno that I would have acted any different.”

“What do you mean?”

Josh shrugged. “It’s natural to be curious. If I’d had an anonymous way to find out what you really thought of me when we met—or anytime after that—I would have jumped on that so fast. And I did enjoy the big reveal. I’m a sucker for drama. Not that this means you’re off the hook or anything, but I do think I understand.”

“Well, I swear I’ll never do anything like that again. I’m gonna make it up to you.”

“Are you?” Josh’s expression grew mischievous. “How?”

“Name it.”

Mike might have imagined it—Josh’s cam didn’t have the best quality—but he thought he spotted some color in Josh’s cheeks. “Before, when you were Martin, I always wondered why you never asked me to do anything sexy.”

Mike shook his head. “You couldn’t consent. You thought you were performing for Martin, not for me. I would never have crossed that line.”

“Yeah, and I think you made the right decision, but it’s also . . . kind of a shame.” Josh glanced down, like he was too embarrassed to make eye contact. “Last night, I learned what a gift you have for dirty talk. We could have been enjoying that this whole time.”

Mike had a suspicion he knew where this conversation was going, and his cock was already taking a pronounced interest. “You bring it out in me. Everything I said, all the fantasies I talked about, were true. Ever since I met you, I can’t seem to get enough.”

Josh looked up again. His eyes were dark with desire. “Well, we’re here now, and you did book this private show. We have to fill the time somehow.”

Mike’s body made what it wanted very clear to him, but he had to ask, “Are you sure this is what you want? You haven’t forgiven me yet.”

“If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I always want you. I haven’t stopped thinking about last night. All those things you said to me, describing how you wanted to fuck me, and watching you touch yourself . . .” Josh shivered. “I think that was some of the best sex I’ve ever had, and it was technically masturbation. I can only imagine what it’ll be like when we can fuck for real, and I imagine it a lot.”

The last of Mike’s reservations crumbled away. “Liked that, huh? Hearing me talk about how badly I want to fuck you? All the ways I’d do it?”

Josh nodded, shifting on the bed. Mike was positive his pants were getting tight. “That was so hot. I can’t believe how hard I came. If you really want to make it up to me, I wouldn’t mind another orgasm like that.”

“It’d be my pleasure. How do you want to do this?”

Josh’s eyes blazed like green fire. “When I’m being Bret Monty, guys tell me to do all sorts of things to myself, and I have to pretend to be into it.” He reached for his pants and undid the button, slid the zipper down. They didn’t come off, though. He gave Mike a little peek at the blue boxers he had on underneath. And the impressive erection straining against the fabric. “But in your case, I think I’d really enjoy being told what to do.”

That pushed every single button Mike had all at once. His hand moved to his groin, and when it brushed his cock through his jeans, the pleasure that jolted through him from that indirect contact was so intense, he hissed. He couldn’t believe how turned on he was.

“Would you like that, Mike?” Josh’s smile was a sinful mixture of coy and cocky. “Watching me touch myself in all the ways you want to but can’t?”

“Tease. If I were with you right now, I’d kiss that smug look off your face.” Mike took a deep, shuddering breath and unbuttoned his jeans. “We still have two days left on our sentence. I suppose this’ll have to do for now.”

“You say that like you’re not loving this.” Josh pushed the flap of his pants open and fingered his boxers. “Like you’re not every bit as hard as I am.”

Mike salivated but teased him back. “Maybe I’m not.”

“Oh?” Josh’s eyes tracked down to where the camera cut off his view of Mike’s lower half. “Prove it.”

Mike scooted his chair back, which brought his hips and the tops of his thighs into the frame. He watched the screen that showed his feed as he arranged himself: legs spread, one hand resting casually next to his groin. “Is that good?”

“Almost. Looks like you’ve got something in your pants there. Why don’t you unzip them and show me?”

The zipper slid down easily, helped along by the pressure from his erection. As soon as it was down, his cock sprang up, tenting his underwear. Josh’s eyes locked on to it. His expression was so wanting, so downright hungry, it made Mike’s breath catch.

“If you’re satisfied, I’d like to make a couple of requests of my own.”

Josh dragged his eyes back up to Mike’s face in a reluctant way. “Please do.”

“Get on your feet and strip. Slowly. Turn the camera around so I can watch.”

Josh almost fell over himself in his haste to comply, and that was mega hot. There was a blurry moment as the laptop swiveled, but then it stopped on a view of a small, cluttered bedroom. Mike took in details in an instant: worn paperbacks on the dresser, the same posters on the walls that he’d noticed before, and a pile of laundry with, bewilderingly enough, what looked like the shredded remains of the pants Josh had been wearing last night.

Mike was more interested in the man standing in the room, however. He was visible from head to mid-calf. His long fingers were toying with the hem of his shirt, giving Mike little peeks at his stomach.

“You want me to take this off?” A smile curved Josh’s mouth.

“Oh yeah.” Mike had told him to strip slowly, but now he kinda wished he hadn’t.

Josh slid his shirt up to the bottom of his rib cage. “Like what you see?”

“Very nice.” Mike leaned closer. “Did you start working out?”

“How kind of you to notice.” He flexed, and his stomach—which had been toned before but not exactly ripped—divided into a faint six-pack.

“You’ve got abs now. Very nice.”

“You like?”

“I do, but honestly your whole tall, leggy look does it for me any way you want to serve it up. Always has. Did Colette tell you she showed me a photo of you before your audition?”

“She didn’t. I had no idea.”

“I wasn’t going to perform with you, but when I saw your photo . . . I knew I had to have you.”

Mike wondered, not for the first time, if Josh had a bit of a praise kink, because the compliments seemed to charge him up. He dropped the hem only to reach behind him and pull the shirt off his back. He tossed it aside with the ease of a professional stripper.

Mike whistled. “That was some Magic Mike shit right there.”

“Maybe I missed my calling.” Josh hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “What now?”

“Pants off. And I’m thrilled you decided to wear skinny jeans. I want to watch you work them down those thighs of yours.”

Josh’s pants were already unzipped, so he slipped his thumbs between them and his underwear and pushed them down one tantalizing inch at a time. He made a relieved sound when his cock was freed that Mike could listen to all day.

“Better?” Mike asked.

“You have no idea. I’m so hard, it ached.” He paused to run a hand over his clothed erection.

He stopped when Mike made a dissenting noise. “No touching yet. Pants off first.”

Josh did indeed have to work them down his thighs. Mike loved every second of watching it. When they reached his ankles, Josh pulled them off and threw them aside. “What now?”

“Underwear.”

Josh pouted. “So, I’ll be totally naked, and you’ll still be dressed?”

“Good point. That doesn’t seem fair, does it?” Mike peeled his shirt off and tossed it over his shoulder. Showing off, he flexed his stomach and ran a hand down the sharp cut of his abs. “Now we’re even.”

“Much better.” Josh slipped his underwear down. His cock bobbed up when it was free and stood straight out from his body. He let his boxers fall to his feet and swept them to the side with his toes.

Mike made an appreciative sound. “Turn around.”

Josh did, moving without a hint of tension, like there wasn’t an uncomfortable bone in his body. When his back was to Mike, he folded his arms behind his head. It might have been to get them out of the way, but it emphasized the curve of his broad shoulders as they sloped into his narrow waist.

“Fuck,” Mike said under his breath. Josh had clearly learned how to make himself look good on camera, which wasn’t hard, considering he had a great canvas to work with. Louder, Mike said, “You’re beautiful.”

“Gonna compliment me all day?” Josh glanced over his shoulder. “Or can we get this show on the road?”

Mike smirked. “I bet I could make you come by complimenting you.”

Josh flushed. “After last night, I believe it.”

“Come back to the bed. Sit against the headboard, and put the laptop between your legs.”

“Like this?” Josh got into the position Mike had described, angling the camera and slumping so he fit in the screen. Mike had the most delicious, obscene view between his legs.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” Mike lifted his hips and started to push his pants down.

“Wait.” Josh bit his lip. “Push ’em down just enough, yeah? To get your cock out, but otherwise keep everything on.”

Desire pulsed between Mike’s legs. “You have a clothed-sex kink?”

Josh nodded. “No idea why.”

“I can imagine.” Mike lowered his voice to a deep rumble. “People don’t take their clothes off all the way when they’re dying to fuck. They pull down or lift up the bare minimum so they can get to it. It’s frantic and messy and hot.”

Josh made a soft noise. “Sounds about right.”

“I’ve done that to you before, in my head. The other day, I was looking at my dining room table, and suddenly all I could picture was bending you over it, fumbling between us to shove our clothes out of the way, and fucking you. I swear, I could hear you moaning and picture your hands slipping as you tried to brace yourself.”

“Shit, that’s good.” Josh’s hand started to reach for his cock, but he paused. “Can I touch myself now?”

“You remembered. Good boy. But not just yet, I’m afraid.” Mike pulled his pants and underwear down enough to free his cock, like Josh had asked. “If I were there right now, no way I would have taken the time to have you do that striptease. I would have had you on the bed, ass up in seconds. I doubt I would have done more than get my cock out before I absolutely had to fuck you.”

“Oh fuck.” Even through the webcam, Mike could see pre-come leaking from the tip of Josh’s cock. “That’s . . . fuck, so good.” Josh’s cock was straining against nothing, begging for contact. “Please let me touch myself. I’m so hard.”

“Since you asked nicely. Start at the head. Make a loose fist and go slow. I don’t want you coming too soon.”

Josh fisted the head of his dick, but when he stroked himself, his pace was fast. Mike growled at him. Josh whimpered but slowed his movements.

“That’s right, baby. Exactly like that. Enough to keep you gagging for it but not enough to make you come.”

“Jerk.” Josh let his head fall back, and it hit the headboard with a soft thud. “I can’t believe you called me a tease earlier. You’re the tease.”

“Oh baby, you haven’t seen anything yet. One of these days, I’ll lay you out and spend hours fucking you open with my fingers. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, feel you tremble and moan from the inside. You’ll beg me to fuck you, but I won’t until you’re almost sobbing with need. And even then, I’ll draw it out. Long, deep thrusts that feel so good but leave you wanting more. By the time I’m finished, you’ll come like you never have before.”

Josh’s cock spilled so much pre-come, Mike thought he’d orgasmed, but he didn’t stop touching himself. “Holy shit, Mike. I want that. I want you.” His hand sped up, seemingly against his will. “Sorry. I need—”

“It’s okay. Keep going. Tight and fast.” Mike spit on his palm and started touching himself too, but slower. If he went as fast as Josh, he’d come in no time. He didn’t think he’d ever been this turned on from doing so little. “That’s good, Josh. So good.”

Josh lifted his head, opening one eye to look at Mike. Mike gave his dick a long stroke and spread his legs until he couldn’t any more.

Josh moaned. “Perfect. Stay like that.”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“Amazing.” Josh shuddered. “So much better than jerking off in the shower or whatever. Last night, I thought it was because of what you said, but now I know it’s you.”

“What’s me?”

Josh’s eyes were lidded, but he made an effort to look at Mike. “Sex is so much more intense with you. You turn me on so much, I can’t think. It’s like drowning, but wanting to drown.”

Fuck. Mike was suddenly right on the edge. With extreme force of will, he pulled his hand off his dick, fearing it might be too late. He felt one mini pulse, but it seemed he’d stopped in time. His orgasm hovered over him, or maybe it was buried under his skin. He couldn’t tell. The precipice was back, and he was dangling over it.

Josh’s mouth had gone slack. “Do you feel it too, Mike?”

Mike’s voice was nothing more than a rasp. “I feel it.”

“Gonna come. Are you close?”

“I’m there. I wanna watch you come. Would you like that?”

Josh nodded, mouth forming the word yes as if he lacked the strength to speak.

“Do one last thing for me, baby. Take your other hand and slide it down to your hole. Touch yourself there and think about me fucking you.”

Josh sobbed. “I can’t. It’s too much. Want you so bad. I—” He mewled and arched his back, hand working his cock furiously. “Can’t wait any longer.”

“Almost there, baby. You’re doing so good.” Mike wasn’t going to push Josh to finger himself, but to Mike’s surprise, Josh’s free hand slid down a second later, past his balls, down his perineum, where a single finger found his hole. Mike let out a low moan. “Fuck yes. Touch yourself right there. Can’t wait to put my cock there.”

Josh barely swiped his hole before he moaned, loud and broken. “Ah, oh God, Mike!” He dissolved into orgasm. It was stunning to watch. His body went rigid, and his eyes clenched shut. He pumped his cock a few more times before his hand stilled. Undoubtedly, the stimulation had reached critical levels. There wasn’t much come—surprising, after all that pre-come—but a glob slid down the underside of his cock beautifully.

Mike took himself in hand again and managed to stroke himself half a dozen times before he toppled into pleasure so intense, it blacked out the world around him. Shockwaves ripped through him; he couldn’t tell if he was shouting or was silent. All he knew was that when he returned to his body, his hand was a mess, and so were his pants. Good thing he kept tissues on his desk.

Josh was panting, eyes closed, slumped against the headboard. He looked like the life had been drained out of him through his dick. “Fuck.”

“I agree.” Mike took a deep breath to try to corral his wild pulse. It continued to pound like waves slapping against rocks. “You okay?”

Josh slurred something that sounded like “I’m fucking fantastic” before he pushed himself up. “God, I can’t wait for our date. Though part of me is worried that since this is so good, the actual sex will be terrible.”

“I’m not concerned. That first time notwithstanding, I have the utmost faith in us.” Mike smirked. “Although, who says we’re gonna have sex after our first date?”

“After? Fuck that. I was thinking before. And possibly during, as well. Don’t take me anywhere you want to go back to.”

Mike laughed. “Deal. As fun as that was, I have to get going. I spent half my day waiting around for you, and now I have things to do.”

Josh looked hesitant. “Before you go, there’s something I want to ask.”

“Anything. But can you put some clothes on first? With you all naked and sweaty, I’m having trouble focusing.”

“Hell no. I’m not standing anytime soon. But here.” Josh grabbed his tangled sheets and spread them over his lap. “Better?”

“Marginally. What’s up?”

“I guess I, um—” Josh scratched behind his ear with his clean hand. “Well, I was wondering . . . There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you tongue-tied before. It’s refreshing. But whatever it is, you can ask me. I promise.”

Josh took a breath. “Once we go on this date—assuming that everything goes well, and I forgive you and all that—are we, you know, dating? Like, do you want to be a couple, or is this casual to you?”

Mike’s stomach flopped at the word couple. Not in a bad way. “You always ask boys what their intentions are before a first date?”

“When I’ve had sex with them three times already, yes. But truth be told, I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I don’t know what the protocol is. We have to get tested before we can be together, and then there’s the fact that we’re both in sex work, which brings a whole other set of complications to the table, and I don’t know if our anniversary would be the day we first had sex or the night we went to the club, or should it be when we have dinner, or—”

“Baby. Your mouth. It’s big.”

Josh looked sheepish. “Sorry. I tend to babble.”

“I’ve noticed. After some debate, I’ve decided it’s charming.” Mike grabbed a handful of tissues and cleaned up. He needed a distraction while he said this next part. “In all seriousness, Josh, I like you. Obviously. But I’m not a hundred percent sure what I want right now. I think I do, but I’m afraid to say it before we’ve figured some things out. You said it yourself: this date is a test. I don’t want to make any decisions until we see if we pass or not.”

Josh nodded. “I’m kinda scared too. Is that weird?”

“If it is, we’re both weird. Why don’t we take this one step at a time? Let’s have our first official date. We can worry about it after that, assuming we’re both still in this.”

“I like that plan.”

Mike paused before plunging ahead. “For the record, though, I have never quit porn over a boyfriend in the past. I might quit for other reasons, when I’m good and ready, but I’ll never quit for you. Just like I wouldn’t ask you to quit any of your jobs for me. Can you deal with that?”

Josh paused before answering, making Mike squirm.

“Honestly, I have to think about it. I don’t love the idea of you sleeping with other people, even though I know it’s your job. It would take getting used to.”

Mike supposed that was all he could expect for now. “I can be patient. For the record, I haven’t slept with anyone else since you, and not just because I’m waiting to get tested. Though if I go back to porn, I would be doing my job, just like when you go on your cam channel and masturbate while people watch.”

“I get that. I wouldn’t quit my channel if you asked me to.” Josh smirked. “Unless you wanna make me your kept man.”

“Don’t tempt me. I could keep you handcuffed to the bed.”

Josh shivered. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll make you buy another hour.”

“Two more days, Josh. We can make it.” Mike blew him a kiss. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay. Hey, one more quick thing.”

“Yeah?”

“How do you like your eggs?”

Mike blinked. “Scrambled with salt and pepper. Why?”

“Just curious. I’ll text you later. Bye.”

Mike signed off and watched as Bret Monty went from offline back to on. He was only there for a second though before his channel disappeared again. Mike couldn’t be sure if he’d logged off or if someone had immediately bought a show with him. He hoped it was the former, if only to give Josh’s poor cock a rest.

Two more days.

In two days, he might have his first boyfriend in over a year. It was scary to think about. But also exhilarating. For the first time in a long time, Mike was ready for a taste of something real.

But there was a phone call he needed to make first.