Who are you?

I’m Albert Smithers. You’ve served me exactly seventeen times before.

I don’t remember, and I don’t care. What do you want?

Hmm, the chicken noodles do smell good.

Is that what you want?

Yes.

Yes, please.

Yes.

Yes, please!

Yes.

Do you know any other words?

Yes.

I don’t believe you.

I know all 171,476 words in the Oxford dictionary.

That’s just scary.

Do you mean scary in the alarming, horrifying, or spooky way? Or scary in the intimidating, unnerving way?

Who are you?

I’m Albert Smithers.

Yes, I know that part!

Well, you did ask.

I suddenly remember why I don’t like children.

Children are complex creatures, influenced by those entrusted to guard over them and establish scholarly acquirements.

Can you speak English?

I just did. Since we’ve been talking, I’ve used almost fifty different English words.

Here, take the noodles and go. I never want to see another child again.

I’ve just been to see another child—my buddy. He gave me a present.

What was it wrapped in?

A purple folder.

A purple folder?

Yep.

How odd.

Not as odd as one, three, five, and seven.

Huh?

It was a math joke.

Get out of here!

I think you mean, “Get out of here, please!”