2

Totes Be Careful

If the students thought the first session with their new teacher was bad, they were in for a shock after morning recess when the principal, Mr. Sternblast, followed Miss Frost into the classroom.

Mr. Sternblast had been in some foul moods lately. The children believed he was taking pleasure in some final outbursts before his imminent departure. Rumor had it he was about to leave Blue Valley School for a higher-paying job in the city. It seemed that by firing Mr. Bambuckle, he had proved his leadership skills and earned himself a promotion.

“Listen up, class,” he snapped. “I need to discuss a few important matters with your teacher. You should all shut up and read.”

The students in room 12B, whose spark had already been squashed, reached silently for their books.

Mr. Sternblast nodded in approval toward Miss Frost. “I see you already have them under good control.”

Miss Frost simply straightened her skirt, demanding perfection even from the clothes she wore.

Mr. Sternblast opened a folder and began discussing school business with the new teacher. Only two students, Sammy Bamford and Carrot Grigson, dared to break the rules of silent reading.

Sammy, an athletic boy who loved to wear baseball caps, passed a piece of paper with a handwritten message to Carrot. Carrot slipped the note beneath his reading book and hastily penciled a reply.

Notes Passed Between

Miss Frost isn’t very nice!

Be careful. I don’t want to get caught passing notes.

She won’t catch us. She’s too distracted with Mr. Sternblast.

That’s even worse! What if they BOTH catch us?!

It will be fine. Don’t worry.

I certainly hope so…

Miss Frost is worse than Ms. Goss.

Yeah, the impossible has been made possible!

LOL.

You just wrote LOL but didn’t laugh out loud.

Because it was funny!

But you didn’t laugh out loud.

I’m not sure that you have to laugh out loud when you write LOL.

Technically, you do. Otherwise, you would write GOTI.

What’s GOTI?

Giggling on the inside.

LOL.

You did it again!

Did what again?

You wrote LOL without actually laughing out loud. You’re breaking the rules of the internet.

There are no rules of the internet.

Yes, there are! Pop taught me.

Like what?

You have to actually laugh out loud when you write LOL.

That’s not a rule of the internet. There’s no such thing. You’re being silly, Carrot.

Miss Frost is watching us—be careful!

Miss Frost darted angry glances at Sammy and Carrot while Mr. Sternblast spoke to her. The boys were now onto their fourth piece of paper, and she was itching to punish them.

Mr. Sternblast’s moustache wiggled as he tried to keep his voice down. “So that’s why it will be time for me to move on.”

Miss Frost nodded, her lips twitching every time she looked at Sammy and Carrot.

“Now, there are some things you should know about room 12B,” said Mr. Sternblast. “It is my job to tell you before I go…”

Did you hear that? Mr. Sternblast is leaving.

I heard! But I can’t believe the rumors are all true.

Miss Frost keeps looking at us.

Totes be careful.

She’s the Wicked Witch of the West.

More like the Wicked Witch of Blue Valley!

LOL.

Stop doing that! You’re supposed to actually laugh out loud. Don’t break the rules of the internet!

There are no rules of the internet! Anyway, even if there were, they would not recommend laughing out loud in the same room as the Wicked Witch of Blue Valley.

She just looked at us again.

She can look all she wants. As long as Mr. Sternblast is talking to her, she can’t do anything.

I don’t want to get caught. Please be careful, and don’t break any more rules of the internet.

For the last time, there’s no such thing!

There is—I promise!

Prove it. What’s another rule of the internet?

ROFL.

?

You can’t type ROFL unless you’re actually rolling on the floor laughing.

I don’t believe it! Besides, you’re not doing it now.

This doesn’t count. But it’s true.

It’s impossible.

Why is it impossible?

You wouldn’t be able to type on a keyboard if you were rolling on the floor laughing.

?

Think about it. Most keyboards are attached to computers on desks. Typing as you are rolling on the floor laughing would mean putting the computer on the floor with you as you rolled around. You would probably head butt the screen or something.

Well, you shouldn’t say ROFL if you aren’t going to actually do it—even if you’re writing with a pencil and paper.

That’s even worse! Can you imagine writing with a pencil while you rolled on the floor laughing?! You’d probably end up with it stuck up your nose!

What about BL?

What’s that?

Belly laughing. You HAVE to be belly laughing to type or write it. Otherwise, you break the rules.

Bellies can’t even laugh!

Then there’s TRDMC.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

Tears running down my cheeks.

That’s just depressing. Whoever types that should be focused on getting a tissue.

They could be laughing.

Rolling on the floor laughing?

ROFL—that’s right!

Yay! I’m getting it. LOL.

Stop writing that without actually physically laughing out loud!!

I keep forgetting.

Miss Frost is watching us again. BRB.

Mr. Sternblast was wrapping things up with the new teacher. He was getting the impression that she was a woman very much after his own heart—someone who believed children should be whipped into shape through strict discipline.

Miss Frost listened closely to the principal. If she were to make her mark on Blue Valley School, she knew she had to make the right impression. Plus, like the principal, she had grand plans of her own. Now was the time to find out everything she could about the school.

Mr. Sternblast handed his folder to Miss Frost. “Before I go, there’s one more thing I need to tell you about our routines here at Blue Valley School.”

Sammy pounced on the opportunity and slid another piece of paper—the twelfth in the chain of notes—to Carrot.

What does BRB mean?

Be right back.

Oooh. That makes sense.

Yeah, unlike Mr. Sternblast’s moustache—that makes no sense at all!

“Ha ha ha!” Sammy’s laugh filled room 12B.

Mr. Sternblast and Miss Frost turned in fury to find the culprit.

“Oops. I probably should have written ‘LOL’ instead,” said Sammy.

The rules of the internet had caught up with the poor boy.

“I’ve been watching you two passing notes,” said Miss Frost, her chilling whisper impressing Mr. Sternblast. “You can’t fool me.”

“A sharp eye for spotting trouble,” said Mr. Sternblast, nodding his balding head in approval. “And what a lovely bobby pin you’re sporting, I might add.”

The students held their breaths. The principal had unwittingly ventured into dangerous territory.

Miss Frost sized up Mr. Sternblast with a single glare. “With respect,” she said, “you will never mention my bobby pin again.”

The principal appeared surprised by this comment, though its steely cold delivery ensured the point was taken.

Miss Frost walked over to Sammy’s desk and picked up a pile of notes. “What do you think this is?” she demanded.

“Please, don’t read them,” said Sammy.

There was desperation in his voice.

Carrot trembled in his chair, too scared to talk.

Miss Frost scanned the first piece of paper. Her lips remained in a thin line. “Not what I was expecting,” she murmured.

This is what she read:

The Indian spark-maker beetle is one of the rarest insects on the planet.

I didn’t know that. Let’s surprise our amazing new teacher, Miss Frost, with some incredible facts about the Indian spark-maker beetle.

What a great idea!

Terrific! I just love school!

Miss Frost is completely brilliant!

She knows her stuff. Her advice about handwriting is some of the best I’ve heard.

We’ll have to thank Mr. Sternblast later. He always hires such wonderful teachers.

I love how Mr. Sternblast is explaining the school routines to Miss Frost.

Outstanding, isn’t it!

Miss Frost just looked at me. She is so beautiful and clever—she even knows when we’re writing lovely things about her!

I hope she finds these notes and reads them. She deserves to know what we truly think of her. Let’s meet at the library at lunch to do our research about the Indian spark-maker beetle.

For sure! The world would be a better place with more Miss Frosts in it.

She’s remarkable. She’s simply remarkable.

If Miss Frost had had her wits about her that day, she would have noticed that the handwriting on the note was much like the previous teacher’s—Mr. Bambuckle.

However, in an attempt to erase all memory of the kindly teacher, she had wiped the board clean of his writing earlier that morning.

“See to it you follow instructions in the future,” said Miss Frost, and for a moment, there was just a hint of cheer in her voice.

“Indian spark-maker beetle,” said Mr. Sternblast to himself. “There’s something familiar about that.”

“Mr. Bambuckle had a—” began Evie Nightingale, her confidence briefly fueled by the memory of her favorite teacher and his mysterious pet insect.

“Silence, child,” hissed Miss Frost, a single stare causing Evie to cower behind her desk.

Evie didn’t speak again that day. The misery heaped upon her by the new teacher was enough to extinguish her voice altogether.

• • •

Another student who was feeling entirely miserable was Scarlett Geeves. That was until she discovered a note in her schoolbag at the end of the day.

Dear Scarlett,

The class needs you now more than ever before. Don’t be disheartened by the events of today, for you are about to discover magic in your fingers. It won’t last long, so use it wisely.

Mr. Bambuckle

Scarlett looked around quickly in search of Mr. Bambuckle. But there was no sign of him anywhere.

She slid the note back into her bag and tightened the red ribbon in her long, black hair. While she was not sure what Mr. Bambuckle’s note meant, Scarlett’s whole body filled with the warmth that had been missing that day.

I need to start keeping a diary, she thought to herself. Things are about to get interesting around here.

She couldn’t have been closer to the truth if she tried.