Only once I was certain Inara was completely out did I shut the book and gently set it down on the nightstand beside her. With her face relaxed in the release of sleep, she looked so much younger than when she was awake. She had an old soul; her eyes filled with far too much pain and suffering, aging her beyond her years.
I bent over and kissed her brow softly. Her eyelids fluttered, but she stayed asleep. I tiptoed from the room, shutting the door carefully. When I turned, someone was sitting in the shadows, leaning against the wall across from her room, his blue-fire eyes glittering in the darkness. I swallowed a gasp as Raidyn quickly scrambled to his feet.
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said. “But I wanted to make sure I got to talk to you before we go.”
My already-racing heart stumbled in my chest, sputtering at those two words: we go.
“Did they decide to do it, then?” Though my parents were both furious, I’d tried to force them to accept Sachiel’s plan—telling them I would leave with Sachiel if they refused—when Inara ran out of the room. I hadn’t heard their final decision because I’d gone after my sister. I knew it could quite possibly end with my death. But it was the only hope we had of trapping Barloc and stopping him. No one had any idea what he was capable of with the power of three Paladin. And I couldn’t bear the thought of him hurting anyone else because my parents were too afraid of losing me.
I couldn’t read Raidyn’s expression in the darkness, but it looked like he grimaced. “Yes, they finally agreed.”
I exhaled, long and low, equal parts resignation, relief, and terror.
“Loukas offered to use his power as the bait instead of yours, but Sachiel’s plan hinges on his power being a surprise. If Barloc doesn’t know he’s a mentirum, Loukas can use it to force him to freeze, unable to draw on his power—even for just a few seconds—which will hopefully be enough time to cut his head from his body.”
My lip curled at the gruesome image. “So, who is going? How will we make sure he finds out what I am? And when do we leave?” I asked faintly.
“Adelric refuses to let Sachiel be the one to lead the trap, not with your life on the line.” The words seemed to strangle him. “She’s staying here with her battalion members. It’ll be both of your parents—because your mother refuses to stay behind, me, Shar, Louk, and you.”
I nodded, hoping I looked braver than I felt. A flash of heat raced over my arms, immediately followed by a frigid shudder scuttling down my spine, my body rebelling against what my mind knew needed to be done. I’d just helped my sister through a panic attack, but now I was the one who needed help. My throat tightened.
“You don’t have to do this, Zuhra. We can figure out another way to stop him.”
Even though his words echoed my deepest wish, I knew it was a false hope. “There is no other way. Not one fast enough to keep him from killing others.”
Raidyn winced. “We could try to lure him back here—then no one has to split up.”
“And bring him back to the gateway? He might have enough power to open it on his own now.” Caustic desperation burned in my belly. “Sachiel was right; we have to try to trap him before he comes back here.” I shivered, a cold sweat breaking out on the nape of my neck.
Raidyn reached for me, taking my hand in both of his. “You’re freezing,” he said, rubbing it gently.
“When do we go?” I repeated, the words shaking with the rest of my body.
He didn’t look up. “Tomorrow.”
I stared at him. “So soon.”
“I don’t want to, but Sachiel made the same point you just did—he can’t be allowed to come back here and open the gateway. If he does…” He continued to rub my skin, but even the heat of his touch couldn’t chase away the chill of his words.
We were silent for several moments, except for the sounds of the storm still lashing the citadel, unrelenting and ferocious.
“When we go … I can ride with you, can’t I?”
Raidyn stared down at me, my hand clasped between his. We stood close enough that when he breathed, his chest brushed my fingertips. “If that’s what you want,” he said, his voice low.
Lightning flared in the skylight overhead, instantly followed by a blast of thunder that reverberated through the stones beneath my feet, making me jump. Even Raidyn flinched.
“That’s what I want,” I said. “Please.”
His thumb moved in slow circles on the pad of my hand, sending a small wave of warmth up my arm, nudging back the chill that still gripped my body. “What about Inara? Are you sure you can leave her?”
It was difficult to think clearly standing so close to him in the sweltering darkness. “She should come too. She can ride with Sharmaine or Loukas.”
“I don’t know if they’d be willing to do that. If we do find Barloc, they both have jobs to do to keep you safe. Shar is going to try to shield you, while Loukas takes control of Barloc’s mind. It would complicate things quite a bit for them to have another person riding on their gryphon to worry about.”
“Oh.” I didn’t want to put them in danger. But I couldn’t stand the thought of Inara being left at the citadel, trapped once again. “Maybe Loukas could stay farther back? So they won’t be in danger?”
A dark shadow that had nothing to do with the storm flashed across Raidyn’s face. “Possibly. But he has to be fairly close to the person to be able to fully control their mind. As you know.”
“He didn’t use his power on me. He never has.”
“There’s no way for you to know that.”
“If he had, I would have been completely convinced you were using me to get here to search for your parents. But his words only put doubts in my mind. He didn’t convince me of anything.”
Raidyn exhaled. “It’s not always that simple. He’s very gifted … he can use his power more subtly than you may realize.”
“Don’t you think I would know if he had forced me to think or feel a certain way? Would I have decided I trusted you after all if he had?” I pulled my hands free of his and stepped back. “He’s not the one making me doubt you—you are.”
Raidyn gaped at me. “I don’t understand.”
“Why did you go to Sharmaine after you talked to him? I saw you two flying together. Instead of coming to find me, you went to her.” I hated how I sounded—but couldn’t keep the question from leaving my mouth.
“Sharmaine is my friend—and she’s known Loukas as long as I have.” He shoved one hand through his already-disheveled blond hair. “I needed to talk to someone who really knows him, who could help me figure out if I should believe him or not.”
“He told me about the three of you,” I said. “How you both … you both love her.” The words burned their way up my throat and out, too late to be smothered.
Raidyn reeled back as if I’d slapped him. “He told you what?”
I couldn’t look at him anymore. The cold panic was replaced entirely by misery that was both hot and nauseating. “That … that you both love her. But that she loves you.”
“Zuhra.” My name came out a strangled plea. “You have to believe me when I tell you that he’s wrong. He’s using his power to confuse you. I just don’t know why.”
“He didn’t use his power on me!” I insisted angrily. “I’ve seen you with her—I’ve seen her with you. It’s obvious you do care for each other. And … when we were healing Inara … I saw you … I saw the day when you found them kissing. I felt your anger, your hurt.”
Raidyn flinched. “That was years ago, Zuhra. That was—”
Another clap of thunder growled around us, drowning out his words so he had to repeat himself.
“Yes, there was a time when I thought I cared for her that way. But Loukas is the one who is in love with her, not me. I love Sharmaine, it’s true. But”—he rushed on, grabbing my arm to stop me when I tried to spin away—“as a sister. As the only family I have left.”
I kept my head turned, even though his words chipped away at the confusion in my heart. “I’ve never had friends before,” I admitted quietly. “I’ve never been around boys. I don’t … I don’t know what to believe. And it’s not because of Loukas.”
“Zuhra … please. I’m sorry I went to her first. Search my feelings. You can believe me.” He touched my chin and gently tilted my face back toward him. “You want the truth? Yes, I talked to her about Loukas. But I was really asking her for advice. About you.”
I swallowed. “About me?” I squeaked. Doing as he bid, I tried to search out his feelings—tried to separate them from my own. There was confusion, hope, an aching need that echoed the heat in my veins … and something deeper, something even more powerful than all the rest. It was similar to what I felt for Inara, a love so intense, it took my breath away, but different too … it did things to my heart and body that I’d never felt before.
His feelings or mine?
He cupped my face with one hand and took my other and pressed it to his chest. I could feel the thundering of his heart beneath my fingers. “Did you see anything else when we were healing Inara? Anything that had happened between us?”
The intensity of his gaze made my breath catch in my throat. The blue-fire in his eyes seemed to travel down his arm, through his fingertips on my face, and out into my body. My stomach tightened and my heart throbbed in the suddenly too small space beneath my lungs.
“Yes,” I admitted, my voice trembling. “I saw our flight together…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the rest. That I’d felt how much he’d wanted to kiss me. But he must have known, because his gaze dropped to my mouth. I could barely draw breath as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.
“This is real, Zuhra,” he said, the words low and raspy. “What you and I are feeling right now.” Raidyn left my hand on his chest and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his body. I tilted my chin to look up into his face. “This is real,” he repeated, so quiet, I wondered if it was more to himself than me.
Then, slowly, he bent his head toward me—achingly slow. Giving me the chance to stop him. When I didn’t move or speak, his arm tightened around me and then finally … finally his lips touched mine, as soft as a butterfly’s wings brushing my mouth.
As common as storms were, lightning had only struck the citadel once. I still remembered the charge in the air, how the hair on my arms stood on end in the instant before the room exploded with light and thunder and heat. Raidyn’s kiss was like that bolt of lightning, cleaving the darkness in me. That brief, life-altering touch burned through my body, making my muscles tremble, so that I had to clutch his shirt to stay standing. He made a noise deep in his throat, and then he kissed me again, harder this time. The heat from his lips erupted into a blaze that scorched through me. I pressed into him as his mouth moved on mine. His hand slid down my spine, his fingers plying my lower back, sending a rush of sensation around my hips, straight into the depths of my belly. I wished I’d worn pants and a top like I had in Visimperum, instead of a dress, so he could have pulled my top up, allowing me to feel his fingers on my skin, as he had when we’d ridden on Naiki together.
Everything I felt was enhanced by Raidyn’s emotions that flowed into me more fully than I’d ever experienced before. I wanted him closer, I wanted him to keep kissing me forever, and it was all compounded by the heat of his matching need, until we were consumed by it.
He suddenly started walking me backward, his mouth never leaving mine, until I bumped into the wall. Then he spun me around, our legs tangling together, so he leaned against the wall, and his hands could roam freely over my back. His mouth opened over mine. I moaned, feeling somehow completely weak and strong all at once. Growing braver by the minute, I slid my own hands off his shoulders and over the strong planes of his chest, down to his abdomen, feeling the ridges of his muscles beneath my fingers. He groaned and kissed me even harder, pulling me against him, trapping my hands on his stomach. His mouth left mine, but only to leave a scorching trail of fiery kisses across my jaw, to the groove below my ear, on my neck.
I gasped, lost in a mesmerizing sea of fire, and then a sudden scream split the night air.
We both froze and then sprang apart.
“Was that—”
“Inara,” I breathed and dashed for her door.