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By the end of Friday afternoon, I was so antsy to get out of class I could have burst. The other students were ready to leave, too, though theirs was a more casual, bored anticipation for a free weekend. Mine was more intense. I needed to leave—needed to see if I had a response from Raf.
But I tried my best to keep my emotions contained. The last thing I needed was to draw attention to myself right before checking for the letter, especially if it revealed information about my brother. I stared hard at the boy in front of me, taking on his feelings of boredom as if they were my own. My mind drifted to thoughts of dinner. Come to think of it, I was a little hungry.
“Focus Ms. Greenwood, we’re almost finished.” Mr. Saxon’s monotone reminder from the front of the room drew me back into the lecture. At least my plan worked. And thankfully it was really easy to channel other students’ apathy. I was surrounded by it.
“So to summarize, we have the five Chief Justices for each city, and three Justices in each borough. Rarely, a Justice will go on to the District level. And any case that goes beyond the District level, which is extremely rare, is handled by the Supreme Justice of New America. And as you know, we are not privy to what takes place among the Supreme Leaders of the country. But none of you have to worry about that—as Peacemakers, you will never reach the levels of Supreme Leadership.”
Much of this was a review from my primary education, but it was somewhat interesting to hear it with the knowledge that I now fell among the ranks of the Peacemakers. It was much more relevant than it had ever been before.
“So now we’ve covered the roles of City and District Liaisons and the Justices. Most of you will likely fall into one of these two career channels. As we continue through the training, we will begin to see where you should be placed based on your aptitudes as an Empath.”
I was anxious to begin the real training in empathy. We all knew we had the natural ability to feel others’ emotions, but we weren’t able to control our empathy or use it with purpose just yet.
“But before we move forward with empathy training, we need to touch on some basics in self-defense.” The room shifted a bit, as everyone’s attention was drawn back into what Mr. Saxon said. Self-defense?
“As Peacemakers, we are larger targets for those who have been impacted by the law. Outsiders and criminals have attempted to put an end to certain hearings and trials in the past. And some of those who have been exiled have attempted to seek retaliation against the Justices who sentenced them.” His eyes drifted to me for a nanosecond before he continued. Mr. Saxon was good at blocking his own affect, but that tiny error told me he knew about my past, or rather, my father’s past.
“As such,” he continued, “it is imperative that you learn how to defend yourselves in the event something like this should happen again. We’ll begin on Monday with some introductory information. Then we’ll move into the gym late next week to practice what you’ve learned.”
The room came to life again as students began to realize what he meant. We’d be getting stun guns. Many were buzzing with excitement at the thought. Some were a touch fearful. I didn’t know what to think. Real guns were outlawed in New America. Only Leaders were allowed to use them, and only in dire circumstances. But even a stun gun was a bit intimidating.
“So enjoy your weekend, and I will see you all again with fresh faces on Monday morning.”
Students around me bustled with life as we all gathered our things and headed toward the door. Finally I’d be able to get back to the house and check to see if Raf sent a response.
The boy in front me, Lennie—the same one who’d lent me his hunger and boredom a few minutes earlier—turned to his friend on their way to the exit. “I’m so glad they’re going to get us started on the self-defense training already. My mom said the number of Outsiders caught in Classen City this year is double what they saw last year.”
“How is that even possible?” his friend asked in a low voice. “There’s no food or Healers out there. I don’t know how they’re surviving.”
“That’s just it. They shouldn’t be. That’s why they got exiled in the first place—to pay for their wrongdoings. If you don’t wanna work for the greater good, the greater good won’t work for you. Good luck!” Lennie gave a sarcastic wave and kick with his foot, earning a chuckle from his friend.
“But they are surviving,” he continued. “And they’re strong. Mom said all of the Peacemakers, even the ones nearing retirement, are required to go through new basic defense training this year. I guess it’s getting bad.”
I thought of Frank in the church building a few weeks earlier. He was strong. Lennie was right about that. But Frank was about as far from violent as anyone I’d ever met. Even Dave with his gun didn’t seem like he would ever want to hurt someone.
But maybe Cato’s friends were unique on the Outside. Maybe they weren’t all so kind, with intentions only of educating city-dwellers on “freedom.” After all, it was Outsiders who murdered Mom.
“Well I, for one, am ready.” I didn’t even notice Georgia approach the boys, but her nasally overconfidence couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else. Her head was held high and there was some extra swagger in her step as she continued.
“You know my mom is the Chief Justice of Classen City,” she said loudly, proudly reminding us all of her background. “And let’s just say she may have taught me a thing or two back home. She always knew I’d be a Peacemaker.”
Georgia scooted a little closer to Lennie, cocking her head to the side. “I was a strong Empath from a very young age.” Her voice lowered to a breathless whisper. “I’ve always been good at reading people.”
Lennie’s caramel skin flushed, his blood pulsing hard through his veins. Poor guy. She’s totally messing with you.
“I’m just glad I didn’t grow up on the edge.” Her voice returned to its normal loud volume. “I almost feel sorry for them. They have no idea what it’s like to live as a Peacemaker, and I’m afraid they just won’t have the natural abilities it takes to defend themselves. They weren’t bred for this.”
Georgia stopped abruptly to fix the hem of her sweater, causing me to run right into the back of her.
“Oh, Claren, I’m so sorry.” Her tone was extra syrupy. “I didn’t know you were behind me. I hope I didn’t offend you with anything I said.”
“Not at all.” She was obviously trying to get under my skin, but I didn’t have time to mess with Georgia. I needed to get to the garbage bin across the street.
“Oh good,” she said with an insincere shrug. “With your fall last week and crashing into me now, I’m sure you know it’s the truth. I just hope you can find enough balance for the self-defense training coming up. I’d sure hate to see you fail and go back to... where are you from again?”
My hands balled into fists at my side. “Morton borough.”
Georgia’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “That’s right. Morton.”
“Thanks, Georgia. It’s always a pleasure!” I slapped a sarcastic grin on my face and waved her off with my hand before trotting past the group to the glass door up ahead. Pushing through, I jogged across the street.
Students were still trickling out of the building, taking their time to return home for the weekend. I couldn’t check the trash bin until they were all cleared out, but I was too excited to go up to my room. Using my left foot, I stepped on the end of the shoelace of my right boot, pulling it untied. Doing so tripped me up a bit, eliciting a snicker from Georgia as she crossed over to Unit 502 beside my house. But at least I had a reason to linger outside for a few more minutes.
I grabbed a spot on the cement stairs leading up to my unit and sat to tie my laces, taking as much time as I could. I silently begged the others to hurry back inside.
Looking up again, I was startled to find Edgar’s deep set eyes staring at me over his round pink cheeks. He stood awkwardly before me, his bag hanging loosely from his hands in front of his body.
“Hi Edgar, I’m so sorry if I’m blocking your way.” I scooted over, giving him more than enough room to pass by into our unit. Everyone else was already inside. But to my dismay, he turned and sat in the open spot instead.
“You’re not in my way,” he said, avoiding eye contact.
“Oh. Well is there something I can help you with?” Hopefully quickly so I can be alone?
“No, actually. I just...” Edgar’s heart was racing like a mouse caught in a trap. “I just wanted to say thank you.”
Thank you? “For what?”
“For being strong.” He looked at me, briefly, before turning back down toward his shoes. I could feel his anxiety, his shyness, but I willed my muscles to relax as I took in the sight of him. It was difficult for him to sit and talk to me, but he was doing it anyway. He was the one being strong here, not me.
“I was so scared when I got the letter. I knew I wouldn’t fit in here. I don’t even fit in back at home.” Thoughts of Edgar eating muffins alone during lunch danced through my mind. “But the way you talk to Georgia and the rest of them helps me feel like maybe I can do it too. Being from Morton borough isn’t stopping you, so maybe I can find a place here, too.”
“Of course you have a place here.” This was the longest conversation I’d ever had with Edgar. He’d been around for years, and I was ashamed I’d never taken the chance to get to know him better. I made a mental note to reach out to him more in the future.
“I know it’s hard, taking on everyone else’s feelings. And it was especially hard back home, where some people really had it rough.” Edgar nodded, staring into the distance. “But now we know why we felt everything so much stronger. You have a gift, Edgar. And you are just as equipped to use it as anyone else.”
I said the words to Edgar, but I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear them myself. I reached over and gave his hand a quick squeeze. Edgar flushed even redder and quickly stood.
“Well, thanks again,” he said before scurrying inside.
I allowed the evening air to fill my lungs before releasing it again slowly through my mouth. Of course Edgar deserved to be here. So did I, and everyone else in Unit 501. I wouldn’t let Georgia and the others who were raised near the Center go on trying to intimidate us.
I was still circling over Edgar’s words when the sidewalk in front of our row of houses finally cleared. I was alone. My right hand reached into the bag laying at my feet and pulled out a scrap piece of paper I’d wadded up in class earlier. I nonchalantly made my way down to the trash bin, concentrating on keeping a frozen wall around my emotions just in case anyone was near enough to sense my belly doing somersaults.
I lifted the lid to drop my paper inside and let out an audible squeal when I saw the envelope tucked under the clasp I’d put under there earlier that week. I slid the letter into my bag and scampered inside and up the stairs to my room without saying a word to anyone.
The envelope was unmarked. Using a letter opener from the desk in my room, I carefully opened the envelope and pulled out a small piece of folded parchment.
Hey you,
Glad to hear you’re safe. I hope you’re using what I taught you.
Everything is great here. I found my dog, and he’s happy to be home—as ornery as ever. I’ll keep him out of trouble now.
Work is going well, too. There will be a lot more education in the near future. Exciting things are happening. I can’t wait to fill you in on everything.
There was no signature, but I giggled like a little girl when I saw the simple image of a cat’s head drawn at the bottom of the page.
I was so happy I could’ve burst into song. But it wasn’t the cat head. Cato was safe. I sprawled out across my fluffy green duvet, and for the first time since Officer Patton came knocking, I relaxed.