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The events from the courtroom played over and over in my mind on the way back to the house. I couldn’t believe Phil Gadson was going to die for protecting my brother.
Emmaline spoke after a few minutes of driving. “You’re more upset than I expected.”
I turned and looked at her as though she had two heads. “What did you expect? Am I supposed to be happy? You told me you weren’t interested in Cato right now, but he’s being sent away forever. You said you wanted to know who was giving the orders from the Outside, yet you got one of your own Leaders sentenced to death. Tell me, what is there to not be upset about? It’s all horrible!”
There was no use trying to hide my emotions. Emmaline knew I was angry. She knew I was hurt. And she knew I lied. She was able to get information from Margo that I never offered to her. There would be no redeeming myself after this.
“Your brother’s life was spared. Isn’t that something to be grateful for?”
“He may be spared for now, but he’ll never make it Outside. You know that.”
Emmaline raised an eyebrow and returned her eyes to the road ahead.
“Would you like to ride along in the cortege tomorrow morning?”
I cocked my head to the side, studying her for a moment. It felt like a trap. But yes—I did want to see my brother off.
“Is that possible?”
“Of course.” Emmaline delivered a small, polite smile and didn’t mention it or anything else again until she pulled up in front of the house.
“I’ll have an officer pick you up here first thing in the morning. And as for the rest of today, feel free to stay home and relax. I’ll let Mr. Saxon know your absence is excused.”
I sat for a beat, trying to decide whether or not to question her. I decided against it. If she was willing to allow me to stay in the program, I wouldn’t be the one to advise her differently. After seeing what happened to those who join forces with the Outside today, becoming a Peacemaker was sounding better and better.
“Actually, Ms. Frasier, I think I might head back to the training center after lunch if that’s okay.”
Her smile widened. “Yes, that will be fine.”
My stomach lurched as I climbed out of the car. Why did I always feel like I was making a deal with the devil when Emmaline left our meetings with a smile?
I sat with the rest of my roommates at breakfast the next morning, listening to their gossip from school and generally trying to blend into the background. My seat was nearest the front door, with Nita beside me so I wouldn’t feel the need to make small talk with Margo. I still wasn’t sure where we stood, or rather, where I wanted us to stand.
Finally, I heard the knock I’d been waiting for. Everyone knew by then that my brother was exiled. Georgia’s big mouth could hardly contain that juicy little secret. So there was no more sneaking around or pretending I was doing anything different than going to see him off.
“That’s my ride.” I hopped up, a little too eager to get out of there.
“Be strong,” Margo called out as I walked to the door.
It was a bold thing for her to say. The others were offering support too, but in more of a we’re so proud of you for doing what’s right kind of way. They believed Cato’s punishment was for The Greater Good. And that’s the appearance I tried to give as well.
But Margo knew my pain. I could ice it over as much as possible, but she knew.
“Hello Claren, long time no see.” I opened the door to find myself standing in the shadow of a very large man. A large man who I would’ve been happy to never see again.
“Hello, Officer Patton. Will you be driving me in the cortege today?”
He scratched his unruly orange beard with a giant finger and looked around before coughing out a gruff laugh. “I don’t see anyone else around here. Do you?”
Hopefully he didn’t see my nose scrunch up in disgust. “Guess not,” I said, trying to fake a smile.
“Then let’s be on our way.”
Patton drove a standard-issue Protector’s vehicle. It was larger and far less comfortable than the coupe I’d become accustomed to riding in with Emmaline. My seat was stained from multiple coffee spills—at least I hoped they were coffee spills, and a few crumpled napkins were shoved between it and the center console.
We drove to the Center Gates but didn’t enter. Instead, Officer Patton tried to make small talk until the boxy black van carrying my brother pulled out into the city. I strained to catch a glimpse of him in the back, but the windows were too tinted. Maybe he saw me, at least. I hated to think of him feeling alone.
There wasn’t a long line of vehicles. It was just a Protector in the front, Cato’s van, Emmaline’s coupe, and Officer Patton and me bringing up the rear. Small as the cortege was, it was usually just the van and two Protectors when citizens were exiled. Emmaline’s interest in my brother’s situation was getting a bit ridiculous.
We drove slowly through the city’s streets, allowing anyone who dared to pause from their work to see justice in action. Typically the streets were empty except for a few friends and family members in the criminal’s home borough.
When my dad was exiled, it was just Cato and me, standing on the windy sidewalk as his van passed us by. I couldn’t see his face, but his hand pressed against the window as the vehicles crawled past us. I still think of it on cold, windy days—the pale skin of his palm in contrast to the tinted window of that black van on the empty streets.
So it surprised me to see people watching us weave through the different boroughs. There weren’t many at first, just a man here, a couple there. But the closer we got to the edge, the more we saw. By the time we reached Morton borough they were lining the streets.
I spotted Sela and a couple of other girls I attended school with. Edgar’s mom and sister stood near the bakery in the business district, and Dax wasn’t far from them. We drove on, slower as the crowds grew thicker. It was astonishing, really. I recognized many of the faces, but there were even more I didn’t know. And as we passed, many of the people would raise a hand to their hearts.
“Idiots.” Officer Patton grumbled in the seat beside me. “They better get out of the way or they’ll get run over— the whole lot of ‘em. And don’t say I won’t do it.” He cut his beady little eyes over to me like he was daring me to say something.
But I couldn’t say a word. I was enchanted by the crowd. Whether it was the gesture, or their expressions, or just the overall emotion surrounding me, I don’t know. But my eyes were wet, tears flowing freely at the show of support for my brother.
Maybe the Outsiders had it all wrong. These people were grieving over the loss of one of their own. Cato didn’t deserve to be lost. He was a good person who had clearly made an impact on many more lives than I ever realized.
Was life in New America really so bad that we needed to sacrifice the ones we loved? We were mostly happy and healthy and well cared for. We had food to eat and shelter and jobs that suited our unique skills. Who cared if they drank wine and carried expensive purses in the Center? It wasn’t worth losing lives over.
The cars were barely rolling forward as we reached the very edge of the city, near the sanitation headquarters. I spotted Lena, who I’d met with Raf a few weeks before, but I didn’t see him. Not at first, anyway. My mind wasn’t able to register the handsome man with a gorgeous brunette woman on his arm as my Raf.
His expression was serious as he watched Cato’s van pass him by. The woman on his arm buried her face into his shoulder, seeking his comfort. What a selfish girl. She should be comforting him! He was watching his best friend leave forever. And who was she—this stranger who acted as though she cared about my brother?
And who was I to even care? Raf wasn’t mine. He never was mine. He only helped me for Cato’s sake. And now that Cato was leaving, Raf would be gone too, playing house with some beautiful brunette.
Our motorcade reached the edge of the city limits, and the leading Protector veered off to the right as the van continued forward. I’d cried out my last tears, and now I sat empty, watching the red taillights carry away the last person I loved on this earth. The van would drive for a few more hours, into some remote land hundreds of miles away from Classen City. If Cato was able to survive, there would be no way for him to find his way back. And even if he did, by some miracle, make it back home, he’d be sentenced to death if he was caught. Cato was now an enemy of the state, just like my dad.
What happened? When did everything go so wrong?
I tried to steady my shaking hands as I watched the van drive away. I had to think. I had to process everything. Maybe if I could just figure out where everything got off track I could prevent this stuff from happening again—prevent the devastation of losing anyone else I loved, if I was ever able to love again. It certainly seemed as though my love was a mark of destruction.
The Outsiders killed my mom, which caused my dad to lose control. Dad became reckless, tried to jump the Center walls, and got exiled. Cato also became reckless, got involved with the Outsiders, and followed in dad’s footsteps.
There was one common denominator in all of it. The Outsiders. Frank seemed like a good guy, but he wasn’t careful with the lives of those who were trying to help him. Sam died. Phil was sentenced to death. Cato was exiled. Who was next? Dax? Raf? Me?
Maybe Emmaline was right all along. Maybe it was time to put an end to Frank’s lethal shenanigans.