Being alone was harder than Kel thought. She missed Jax. Alone sucked.

But she stuck to her regimen of running, journaling, and tending to her plants. That was how she thought of them—her plants. No one else was here to take care of them.

Now Jax’s trips were usually around three days long, sometimes four, but he only traveled during daylight. On the days he came back, he’d usually return shortly before dusk. In spite of herself, Kel found herself eager for his arrival.

Planting herself on the porch steps, elbows on her knees, she stared out at the surrounding forest. She plucked a blade of grass and chewed it slowly. Even after so much time, the cravings still sometimes hit her after lunch.

A rustle from the foliage caught her attention. She sat up, the hair on the back of her neck bristling. His fourth trip out, Jax had been gone only two nights, not three full days yet. And it was still early, hours of daylight remaining. She frowned at the movement, wondering whether she should bolt for the house and bar the door. But some demented form of curiosity kept her rooted to the spot.

The rustling grew louder, tree branches shaking, leaves flying. Was it an animal? Some type of dangerous creature? The figure broke into the clearing. Bent and hobbling, Jax lurched toward her in awkward lopsided strides, eventually collapsing on the ground just off from the cabin.

“Jax! Are you okay?” She rushed over to him. When he sat up she could see the wounds. Dark red streaked his chest in long gashes. His shirt was ripped, shreds hanging in some places while other patches were glued to his flesh with blood. His hair was a mess of tangles, and on one side, his cheek was cut from temple to chin in a bright red arc. Kel gasped when she saw him. “What happened?”

He was panting. Several seconds ticked past before he could get his breath enough to answer. The tunic he’d used as a pack slid from over his shoulder onto the ground, and she stared at the ragged fabric that was left.

“I…got…attacked,” he managed, between gasps.

Kel held out her hand. “Wait here. I’m going to get some supplies while you catch your breath.” She rose and stopped for a moment, turning back to him. “Is anything following you now?”

He shook his head. She let out a relieved breath and went inside. When she returned with a pitcher of water, some shirts they could use as bandages and a bowl of an herbal mixture, he sat with his legs stretched out, leaning back on his hands. In addition to his other injuries, dark red gashes streaked the tops of his thighs.

“I need to wash the wounds first,” she said, pointing to his chest, where they looked the worst. He nodded. Unbuttoning his shirt, he winced. She put her hand on his arm to halt him but noticed the gash across his elbow from forearm to bicep. It must hurt to flex the arm. “Here, let me.”

She finished unbuttoning his shirt and slid what was left of it down over his shoulders, letting the shredded fabric fall to the ground. With him sitting there bare-chested, her face grew hot for a moment, but she quickly regained composure, pushing the feelings aside to focus on his injuries. The gashes were long but not as deep as she’d feared. He clenched his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut when she dabbed a wet cloth along the cuts. She was grateful he wasn’t hurt worse. They had no access to anesthetic, and if he’d needed stitches, it wouldn’t be pretty. Not to mention how she would handle having to sew him up.

“So what happened out there?” she asked while she worked, partially because she wanted to know and partially to keep his mind off the pain.

He took a deep breath. “It happened the night before last. I was asleep, using my pack as a pillow, like normal.” He frowned and shook his head. “It was weird. I was having this dream, I was surrounded by wild animals—they were strange looking, unnatural somehow. In my dream they were attacking me, and I was fighting back, punching and kicking like I knew self-defense.”

“Do you?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. I woke up to searing pain with my limbs flailing. Guess I really had been trying to fight back in my sleep. Anyway, by the time I scrambled up and tried to get out of there, the thing had swiped me good.” He pointed to his face. “This one hurt most.”

“What did you do?”

“I had my pack in my hand, and the thing was going at it like crazy. I was so groggy with sleep that it took me forever to realize the animal was going for my food. It had already ripped my bag open by the time I was able to get out of there.” He reached for the pack, wincing as his torso twisted, and pulled a book out. “I’m just lucky I was able to snag this before I dashed out of there.”

“The map?”

He nodded.

“Sorry,” she said when a grimace screwed up his face. “Some of these have dirt in them. I’m trying to get it out.”

He took a deep breath and nodded. “I tried to wash in the brook, but I didn’t want to scrub them. Especially without having bandages.”

She steered the conversation back on track. “So what was it? What attacked you?”

He shook his head. “It was pitch black. I was out of it, you know? Like really groggy. I saw claws, fur, glowing eyes. I don’t know. Maybe a wolf? Coyote? I’m not sure.”

“There was just one?”

“I don’t know. It seemed like only one attacking me, but there may have been others close by. I can’t remember.”

He was quiet for a moment while Kel worked. She imagined how terrifying it must have been to be attacked while sleeping. Swallowing hard, she tried not to think of what could have happened. He’d gotten off easy, she realized. That thought squeezed something inside her chest. What if something worse had happened? What if he’d been unable to return? She finished cleaning his chest and turned her focus to the cuts.

Once she was finished, she wiped the cut on his cheek. She was acutely aware of how close his face was to hers. She could feel his gaze penetrating her but fought to keep her focus on the wound. When it was clean she set the rag down but hesitated before grabbing the ointment. With her thumb, she brushed the smooth skin of his cheek just below the gash then moved down to his jaw. She touched the wiry carpet of hair that had appeared there over the last few weeks, running her fingers along that line from his ear to his chin. Her fingers trailed down his neck, following the tiny hairs until they ended at his throat. Only then did she let herself meet his gaze.

His dark eyes were intense, almost probing. She felt her face growing hot again but couldn’t look away. He looked as if there was something on his mind. Maybe a million things. She waited, but he didn’t speak. She held the gaze, eyes locked onto his for what felt like ages. He didn’t look away. Didn’t blink. Distantly, she had a vague awareness that a world existed somewhere beyond them, beyond that eternal gaze. But at the moment, his brown eyes, so wide and soul-piercing, were the only things that mattered.

She had to say something, to break this impossible silence. When she finally found her voice, it came out soft, almost a whisper. “I’m so glad I didn’t lose you.”

Before she knew what was happening, he closed the gap between them. His lips were on hers, first tentative, testing the waters with restrained passion. Two sensations hit her instantly: passion and recognition—like déjà vu. A flood of emotion released inside her, sweeping away any pride, any fear, any reservation. She kissed him back, responding with her own desire. But topping off the passion was the vivid sense of familiarity—of rightness—like nothing she’d experienced. It was the way his lips tasted, the way he was provocative and tender at the same time, the way his kiss pressed in then backed off, waiting for her lips to seek him again. The sensation was so unexpected, so intense, that for an instant it felt like a dream.

She wasn’t entirely sure, but she had a strong feeling that at one time she’d been in love with him. Maybe she still was.

When the kiss ended, she was surprised that her own arms clung to his back, pulling him closer. She gasped when she saw the grimace on his face, realizing she might be hurting him. Heat filled her cheeks for the third time since his return. Tearing her hands away and dropping them in her lap, she gave him a sheepish look.

“What was that for?” she asked. Considering her reaction to the kiss, he probably had just as much of a right to the question as she, but he’d started it.

He shrugged. “I guess because I sorta need you.”

His frankness startled her. She could think of absolutely nothing to say, although he seemed to be waiting for an answer. Their gazes were snagged on each other. Time seemed to stretch on, the moment growing longer, the space after his words too empty. She had to say something, but she couldn’t.

Finally, he blinked and cleared his throat. He thumbed at his face as if there had been no awkward pause. “I need you to finish bandaging me up so that I can scarf some food down.”

She cleared her throat. “Right. I’m on it.” She picked up the medicine and went to work on his face. “Hungry, huh?”

“Are you kidding? That beast stole my grub two nights ago. I’m famished.”

She stopped long enough to gawk at him. “You haven’t eaten anything since?”

He shook his head.

“You couldn’t even find some berries or anything?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want to risk it. I don’t know about plants like you do. Didn’t want to go poisoning myself or anything.”

She frowned at him and shook her head. “Get inside. I’ll make you something while you change.” She pointed to the gashes on his legs. “You think you can wash the rest okay?”

He nodded.

“Okay. Get cleaned up and put on some shorts. I’ll fix up those cuts once you’ve eaten.”

He smiled gratefully at her. “Thanks.”

 

 

~

 

 

Patched up with bandages, Jax was ready to get back to his mission the next day, but Kel refused to let him go. For someone so independent, she sure was protective of him. He kept trying to tell her they were only surface wounds, but she refused to listen. Finally, a week later when his scabs were starting to itch, she agreed he was ready.

With his longer trips, he’d pushed the limits, gone as far as he could on foot. Now, there was just one last section of terrain he had to cover. On the third day when he’d reached as far as he dared and his food supply was beginning to run low, he decided to turn back. The creek was his guide, his source of hydration and hygiene. He nibbled the remaining nuts and dried fruits, only bothering to stop when the sky grew dark.

Ever since the incident with the wild animals, he’d taken to affixing his pack high up in a tree, removing his map journal and the large chef’s knife he’d brought from the kitchen, and sleeping a distance away with the tree still in sight. Some nights were quiet, and on others, he heard a commotion of feral sounds. Those nights he barely slept.

When Jax headed back, disappointment settled over him. It started as a nagging frustration and worked its way up to a full-blown state of despondency. None of his efforts had amounted to anything. They were still as lost as they’d been the first day. He kicked a clod of dirt and watched the dust billow around his feet. The whole stupid search was pointless.

He walked a ways, letting his feet drag in the dirt, in no hurry to return to Kel and give her the bad news. If he was honest with himself, he’d suspected for days, if not weeks, that this was the case. They were just too far out from civilization. There was no hope. Absolutely none.

A bit of unexpected traction broke the dry scuffling rhythm from his feet. He stopped, noticing the slightly wet patch of dirt. That was odd…. He hadn’t seen wet dirt anywhere except around the stream. Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember it ever raining here.

He bent down to inspect the dirt, stuck his finger in it, and brought it up to his face. His heart pounded. Red.

Searching the ground with frantic eyes, Jax found another wet spot. More red. Drops of a thick substance were scattered across the dirt. The trail sprawled a few feet and ended at the creek with a bright smear of red on one of the rocks. He scrambled over to the water, following the drops. From the bank he squinted, searching the ground on the other side. There! Another, larger patch of red was faintly visible in the grass. He leaped into the stream, fighting the current. His heart raced. He urged his legs through the water. Finally, he made it to the other side. Drenched and breathing hard, he examined the ground. Just as he’d expected, there was the trail. He hurried to follow it.

Leaves and branches hit him in the face as he made his way forward, but he ignored them, only focused on his feet. After a few minutes, he pushed his way through the brush and onto the dry ground again. In front of him loomed the tall cliff, the one that housed the building. He was too far down to spot the door they’d escaped through—it was probably another days’ walk or so ahead. But at the moment, only one thing concerned him. It was the easel standing in the open. Another white canvas was painted with sloppy letters that dripped down, leaving a puddle of red on the ground below. The words sent chills down his back.

 

YOU KNOW WHERE THE ANSWERS ARE.

 

 

~

 

 

Her shirt was already heaped with apples, but Kel piled several more on top, not wanting to waste any of the fruit. Now fallen, they wouldn’t stay good for long. She put one last apple on top, cinching the hem of her shirt tight around the top. A light breeze brushed past her exposed waist, making her shiver involuntarily. And then she heard the sound.

It was a gentle snap, not loud by any means, but a telltale sign just the same. It was a sound only a footstep could make.

She froze for an instant, unsure what to do. She whirled around. A few of her apples tumbled out of her shirt and rolled through the grass. Her mouth dropped open.

The same little girl she’d spotted earlier stood at the edge of the surrounding forest. She was barefoot again, wearing the same simple white dress. Her soft gray eyes held Kel’s stare without blinking.

Kel stood, heart racing, afraid to speak or move as if she was staring down a frightened deer, thinking at any moment the creature could dash away. After several moments she tiptoed forward. The girl held her ground, watching.

“Who are you?” Kel asked, cautiously assuming a soothing voice as if she were speaking to a frightened animal.

The girl shook her head.

Kel eased a few steps closer. “Are your parents close by?”

The girl stared back but didn’t answer.

Kel tried again. “Are you alone?”

The girl blinked once, almost consciously. She pointed at her lips and shook her head.

“You can’t speak?”

The girl nodded.

Kel bent down slowly, kneeling on one leg. She pulled the hem of her shirt down and let the apples cascade to the ground. Then she stood and took a few more cautious steps closer to the girl, stopping when she was about five feet off.

“Do you need help?” she asked.

No response.

Kel frowned. She had so many questions, but the girl seemed incapable of communication. Suddenly, a thought struck her. She held up her hand.

“Wait. Can you write? I have a pencil and paper at the house. If you come with me, I can get it.”

The girl stared at her a moment and then nodded slowly.

“Great,” Kel said, feeling her own excitement build but making a conscious effort to stay calm. She took a few hesitant steps, but the girl didn’t move. “Come this way,” she said, urging her with a beckoning hand. The girl blinked. She took a step toward Kel.

Kel led her the short distance to the cabin and climbed the steps up the porch. She turned back. “Wait here, okay?” She hoped the girl wouldn’t go running off before she could find a writing utensil.

The girl nodded.

Kel ran into the house, grabbed her journal and a pencil from the kitchen table, and rushed back out the door. She heaved a deep breath when she stepped back out. The girl was still there.

She took a few hesitant steps up to the girl and held out the instruments. After plucking the tip of the book and the pencil without brushing Kel’s hand, the girl pulled back a few steps and wrote one line on the journal. She handed it back.

I know who you are.

Kel’s heart raced when she read the words. “What do you mean?” she asked, shoving the book back toward the girl. The girl backed away, her gray eyes widening.

“No, wait,” Kel said, forcing her feet to stop. “I won’t hurt you. How do you know who I am? What do you know? Were you a prisoner too?”

The girl held out her tiny white hand, palm to the sky, then flicked the tips of her fingers toward herself, beckoning. Kel dropped the book on the ground, taking several quick steps forward. Just as fast, the girl stepped backward, maintaining an even distance between them. As Kel followed, the girl turned, parted the foliage with her hands, and stepped into the forest.

Kel dove through the trees, but already the girl was farther ahead. She hurried to catch up, but the girl’s strides were getting faster and longer. Kel started to sprint, her heart banging inside her chest. Flashes of white fabric here and there were all she had to go by. She was afraid of losing the girl. Not again. Not when I’m so close. Sprinting through the woods, she weaved in and out, following without another thought in her mind. Don’t lose her. I can’t lose her. Was the girl leading Kel somewhere, or was she running away? This chase gave Kel a sense of déjà vu. They’d played this game before.

The last visible hem of white vanished into the trees. Kel ran faster, waiting for it to reappear. She searched desperately for something—any trace of the girl. She was gone. Not willing to give up, Kel kept running, not stopping until she saw the creek. Even then she wasn’t ready to admit defeat. Plunging ahead without a thought, she splashed through the water, climbing the bank on the other side and hurrying ahead. She didn’t stop until her feet hit the dusty ground of the opening. There was no sign of anyone. She bent over, hands on her knees, heaving deep breaths for a few minutes. She didn’t know if she’d ever run that fast in her life.

After she’d caught her breath, she straightened, only then considering what was before her. Beyond the bare dirt expanse that stretched from left to right, the rocky cliff rose high above. Kel spotted the harnesses on the ground first. Right where we left them, she thought. Her eyes trailed up the ropes to the top of first the lip then to the door. Her mouth fell open. High above, a blonde head peeked out over the cliff. The girl stepped forward. The hem of her white dress was barely visible above the rock. She locked eyes with Kel, held out her hand and beckoned again, gesturing to the door behind her. Then the girl disappeared inside.

Kel stood staring at that door for a long time.

Then she turned around and returned to the cabin.

That afternoon she waited on the porch for Jax. Even after dusk settled and the sky turned black she didn’t go inside. He’d been gone five days this time. His longest trip yet. The longest they’d ever been apart. Only when the sounds of the night made her insides squirm did she go inside, grab her journal, and sit down at the kitchen table. When she opened it, the words the girl had written leaped out at her. She ripped out the page and crumpled it into a ball. Then she squeezed her eyes closed, pressed the heels of her hands against her temples and took a long, slow breath. She let it out even more slowly. When the air had escaped, she opened her eyes and picked up the pencil. She took another deep breath and began to write.

After a while, Kel put down the pencil and gazed out the dark windows. She had no sense of how late it was or how long it had been since the sun had set. She felt like she was in a daze. Another deep breath, in and out.

Jax never came home after dark. It was too dangerous to travel at night. What if his wounds had been worse than she thought? What if something had happened to him?

When grogginess overtook her, she stood and got ready for bed. She changed, crawled into Jax’s bed and pulled the covers up around her face. After lying awake for a while, she heard a thud and a rattle at the front door. Her heart stuttered. She’d forgotten to bolt it. The hinges creaked. Soft footsteps crossed the kitchen, just outside the bedroom door. Chills shot down her spine, but she was paralyzed. Terror gripped her. She clung to the blankets, unable to do anything but wait for whatever it was. She imagined a stranger’s cold hands grabbing her by the throat and wrenching her out of bed.

Suddenly a bright light flooded the room, blinding her. She strained to see, but it hurt her eyes. She struggled for a moment, but before her eyes adjusted, she heard the familiar voice, full of surprise.

“Kel!” Jax said. After his shock wore off, he lowered his voice. His low, familiar tone soothed her nerves. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled. “I wasn’t asleep.” She sat up and squinted at him.

He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, breathing a deep sigh of exhaustion as he sank into the soft mattress. “Do you sleep in here every night I’m away?”

She shrugged. “Not always. Just when I’m worried about you.”

He smiled and cocked his head. “You were worried about me?”

She nodded. “I saw the girl again,” she blurted out.

His eyes widened. “You did?”

She nodded.

“Did she say anything this time?”

“No.” Kel hesitated. “But she wrote me a message. It said, ‘I know who you are.”’ A slight tremble shook her shoulders. She hugged her arms around her chest.

“What did she mean? Did she explain?”

Kel shook her head. “She disappeared before I could get anything else out of her.” Kel remembered watching the girl enter the building, but she couldn’t bring herself to mention it. She wanted to deny that she’d seen it at all.

Jax didn’t say anything for a minute.

“How was your trip?” she asked.

He sighed and shook his head. “Uneventful. But since you’re awake, I want to show you something.” He pulled a patched stack of paper out of his pocket. Opening it carefully, he spread the map out across the bed. Cellophane tape held the pieces together. Its edges were worn from being unfolded so often. Kel had seen him looking at it before, but she’d never examined it closely.

She sent him a questioning look. “I thought you had a photographic memory. Why do you need a map, anyway?”

“It’s pretty easy to navigate corridors in a building, but being in the woods is a totally different animal. After a while, every tree and rock start to look the same.” He shook his head. “My memory isn’t perfect. Not by a long shot.”

“Oh.”

He cleared his throat. “So. Here’s where we are.” He pointed to a small square in the center. Near that, a long, squiggly line ran vertically down the paper, cutting the map in half. “Here’s the creek, basically running what I assume is north-south. Here’s the orchard, the garden.” With a finger, he stabbed two areas near the cabin. Other than those landmarks, the only other designations seemed to be terrain-related: trees, clearings, hills, and ponds. There were no other buildings.

“I’ve covered all the surrounding area,” he said. “There’s no sign of civilization within days—and I’ve been making good time. If we went together it would take even longer—maybe five days to make it here.” He pointed to a spot at the edge of the map. “We couldn’t carry enough food for that long.” He sighed. “There’s just no way to know how far we’d have to go. Hundreds of miles, maybe.”

The meaning behind his words hit home as Kel stared at the patchwork of notepaper. Her heart sank. When they’d first found the cabin, she’d wondered if she could be happy here. They were self-sufficient. They had food, water, shelter. And they had each other.

She hadn’t wanted to face it until now, but hearing the finality in his words made Kel realize what seeing the girl today had done to her. It had given her hope, if only for an instant. Stoked her dormant questions. Filled her with a renewed desire. It had summoned a longing for home. Part of her now understood the desire for answers that burned so constantly inside Jax.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to bury herself in the covers, weep, and not come out for days. Yes, she was alive. Yes, she had food and shelter. Yes, she had Jax. But somehow not even that was enough.

Before any of her emotions broke through to the surface, Jax moved his hand just slightly, and she saw another marking on the map that she hadn’t noticed earlier. It was a long, straight line, further out from the house and parallel to the creek. That line was the edge of the cliff, she realized. In the center of the line was a small rectangle. She looked into Jax’s eyes. An odd expression clouded his face. It gave her chills. She thought she knew what was coming.

“Kel.” His voice was soft but grim, “Do you want to know who we are? To find out where we came from? To figure out how to get back—to where we truly belong?”

She hesitated. Then nodded.

“I can think of only one option.” He placed one finger on the rectangle and tapped the map. “We have to go back.”

“Back?” Her voice sounded hollow to her own ears. She was aware of only the dull thudding of her heart.

“Back to where this all began.”