ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
—JOHN HEYWOOD, PROVERBS
"I can tell you that, Alexandria," said the woman whom the hag had named Ernestina. "I am eldest, and remember it best. Indeed, I was of about your age when the Baron of Dwelly and Zeh rebelled against our father, the King of Gilboa, and most treacherously slew him as he dined in friendship at the castle of his Barony.
"The Baron of Dwelly and Zeh had long been promised to Griselda, the Baroness of Breakabeen, and they were allies in this, as in many other evil deeds. When our father lay weltering in his blood on the floor of the Castle of Zeh, the Baron instructed the Baroness to lure my mother with all of her twelve daughters to the Castle of Breakabeen under the pretext that our father had fallen gravely ill.
"When we arrived at the castle, we were immediately taken prisoner and handed over to a soldier for prompt execution. That soldier"—she shifted her gaze to the man standing next the Prince—"was Private Smeatt, at that time in the Baroness's employ. What she promised him in return for our deaths I cannot say, but as he is now in the royal army, I can only assume that some small degree of promotion was considered sufficient recompense for the deed."
Far from being embarrassed by this attention, Smeatt expanded like a rose in bloom. He removed his hat and bowed deeply to the company at large, smiling ingratiatingly all the while.
"Our mother bought our lives and safe conduct over the border from Smeatt," continued Ernestina, "with the crown jewels of Gilboa, jewels so precious to this land that it can never be happy, peaceful, or prosperous unless they adorn our Queen. How our dear Fairy Godmother obtained possession of the crown I cannot say—"
"He traded it for three bottles of rum and a sssackful of tobacco, two days after he got it, that's how," interrupted the hag. '"Twas not of a convenient shape to carry about, ssso he was pleased to see the back of it. I was pretending to be an old sssailor man at the time."
"—But we did hear that he fell into the hands of the Ogresses of Owlsville Valley, and had in turn to buy his own life with the necklace."
Ernestina paused for breath.
"But—pardon my mentioning it, but how did you become Geese? And how do I come into this story?" I asked.
Ernestina sighed. "I fear that we daughters were much to blame for that circumstance, at least as much as was our mother. As for you, Alexandria, why, our mother was with child when our father was killed, and that child was you.
"You see, when once Smeatt had seen us over the border into Dorloo, we were free—free to starve. We soon found the abandoned farmhouse which later became our home, so we were not without shelter. But our mother was a Queen and we were royal children. We did not know how to coax food from the soil and we were accustomed to luxury. Our mother, as I have said, was heavy with child and found work of any kind difficult.
"We children wept continually and quarreled amongst ourselves, crying for sweetcakes and wine. Our mother the Queen, made cross by her thirteenth confinement, finally called out in great vexation, Thou art naught but a lot of silly, quarrelsome Geese, my children!' And then, when yet one more daughter moaned and tugged on her garments, demanding sugar tarts to still the hunger pains, the Queen cried: 'O, how I do wish that thou wert a gaggle of geese, which might be satisfied with a sip of water and a sup of grass, for I do not see how I shall feed all of thee else.'"
Ernestina bowed her head. "I was but young, I know, yet I should have helped her more with the little ones. In a twinkling we twelve became white Geese. Our mother got her wish; born some months later, you were the only child left to her care. And Geese we have remained ever since."
I eyed the hag severely. "Had you aught to do with this?"
"Nay, I had not," she replied, much vexed. "I have had enough toil with your family without sssetting up more difficulties in my way. That horssse, for insstance." She glared at the horse. "Tis true and I'll not deny that the beasst came and fetched me in the nick of time, but was it sstrictly necesssary to pound my bones to a jelly in the processss?"
No one replied to this query, so she resumed.
"One must be careful what one asksss for in this world, that is all. There are more ears lissstening than you think, essspecially on the edge of the wildwood. And sssome who lisssten have a queer sssense of humor. More than that I do not wish to ssay," and she closed her mouth with a snap.
I persisted. "But why was it necessary to find the crown jewels? Why could you not have changed the Geese back into Princesses?"
My Fairy Godmother turned purple with rage. "Do you think it is easy to alter sssomeone elssse's ssspell? The only way is to add a condition that is ssso difficult to meet that it will sssatisssfy the requirementsss of the ssspell. Ssso I sssaid that the daughters of the Houssse of Fortunato should remain domessstic poultry all their days until and unlesss one of their blood wore the crown jewels of Gilboa again."
"I see," I said, thinking it out. "But—"
The old hag rolled her eyes.
I continued. "The Baroness, then, wished to prevent me from telling the King my name, because it was that of the real ruling house of Gilboa. So she pretended to free the Prince and arranged for my death, as she hoped, before witnesses. That way no one would know just how suitable a wife I was for King Claudio."
The hag nodded. "True enough. Had Claudio known who you were he would have watched over your health and safety like a broody mother hen. You would have given him the one thing he lacked: legitimacy. And long life was not in the plans that the Baroness had made for you."
"I suppose she would have suggested that I took my own life rather than marry the King," I brooded. '"Twas one way out, I will confess, but it had little appeal for me."
The crowd was growing weary of this lengthy analysis of events which did not directly affect them. They stared pointedly at their empty goblets and shuffled their feet.
Taking her cue, the hag said, "Now, are you sssatisfied that this is your eldessst sssissster Ernessstina? For if you are, you mussst yield up the jewels to her."
"O, very well," I said, and grudgingly unfastened the necklace, uncrowned my head, and slipped the ring from my finger. I did not mind the ring and the necklace, for I had never regarded them as mine, but 'twas my crown, and I loved it.
Ernestina handed me her gold and ivory coronet and donned the regalia I had put off.
"Behold the Queen of Gilboa," cried the hag. "Do you, people of Gilboa, accept Ernessstina Chrissstiana Fortunato as your lawful Queen?"
An elderly, stooped man came forward, and said, "Madam, I was once counselor to Good King Alfred of Gilboa, foully murdered by the Baron of Dwelly and Zeh. I recognize my King's features and those of his virtuous Queen in the faces of these young women. I likewise recognize these as being the crown jewels of Gilboa. Hail, Queen Ernestina!"
"Hail, Queen Ernestina!" All the court took up the cry, and escorted Queen Ernestina to her throne room amongst a great tumult of jubilation. A few who had been close in the counsels of Claudio the Cruel slunk off and were never seen again, but the vast majority of those present were quite content to have a new mistress. They stamped their feet and shouted out, "Huzzah! Huzzah! Hooray!" until the very walls shook.
When all had departed rejoicing, I flung myself into a chair and inquired of nobody in particular, Are we never to eat any dinner?"
"Mistress Alexandria—or rather, Princess Alexandria," said the King of Dorloo, appearing with a platter piled high. "Look! The cook came up from the kitchen to see what was the matter, and when I told her how hungry we were, she brought me this. See, she has given me these figs, and this cheese and dried meat. Will you not sit with me and eat?"
"You seem to have a way with cooks," I observed sourly, but sat down all the same.
"Tis true enough," said the King peacefully. "They usually do seem to like me."
The horse Bucephalus accepted a fig from his master and began to chew. He then settled down to demolishing the rest of the fruit, this time without being asked.
"1 have never thought of horses as indoor animals, ex actly," I observed as the last fig disappeared down the creature's throat.
"Princess Alexandria, I must apologize," said the Prince. "I most deeply regret the hard words I spoke to you in the valley of the Ogresses, particularly with regard to my beloved horse Bucephalus, for now they do appear to be wholly unwarranted."
"You could not have known, my lord. Indeed, I took great care that you should not know, in order to mislead the Ogresses."
"'Twas neatly done, indeed. I never suspected. And so, do you then forgive me?"
"In certes I do," I said. "That is, I do if you will promise to forgive me for not telling you of the deception sooner and relieving your mind. I began to, once, but we were interrupted."
The horse, seeing that there was naught else fit to eat, began snuffling round my face with his large nose and drooling down my neck.
"Look!" cried the Prince in great delight. "He likes you!"
"Hmmm..."I said, concealing my enthusiasm with ease. However, I had some reason to be grateful to the horse Bucephalus and I am never rude, so I held my tongue.
The door opened and Little Echo reappeared from the throne room where, by the sound of it, a great deal of celebration was going on. Her eyes and feet were both dancing.
"Greetings, little sister of mine. You do understand that you are the youngest of thirteen now, do you not?"
"I do, sister," I said.
"And my name of course is not Little Echo—that is but a childish nickname. I am Elaine. I should prefer you to call me that from now on, little sister."
"I doubt that the occasion will often arise," I said, licking my fingers daintily.
Little Echo looked startled. "Why, how do you mean?"
"I mean that if the King of Dorloo will permit, I was born his subject and I mean to return to the home our mother left us in the land of Dorloo, there to pursue the perfectly happy life I led until our mutual Fairy Godmother began interfering in my life."
"O, but you cannot!" she cried.
"No?" I inquired, lifting one eyebrow. And why is that?"
"Because this is your real home now, here with us."
"I would like to see you stop me, Little Echo" I said.
"O, dear," she said, wringing her hands. "I only meant to tease you a trifle, to pay you back for your imperious ways over the years. If the others thought I had put you against us I should be in such trouble—"
"Here you are, my sisters, Your Highness." 'Twas one of my other siblings. By the size of her lower extremities I deduced that 'twas Cassandra Big Foot. I supposed I would be wise to address her solely as Cassandra from now on. "We wondered where you were. Alexandria and King Edmund are quite the heroes of the night and we wish to toast your health. That is"—she inclined her head courteously toward us—"if you are not too fatigued with your adventures."
Little Echo leaned forward and whispered furiously in my ear. "You see? They want you. We want you dreadfully. You were our lone hope in all of those years, especially after Mother died. I pray you do not desert us now, for I know I shall die if you do. I'll not have time to die of heartbreak, however, for Ernestina will draw and quarter me first."
I meditated upon this.
The King of Dorloo broke in. 'As much as I should like to have you as my subject again," he said, taking my hand in his and speaking gravely, "I believe that your place is here, with your family. You would be most dreadfully lonely, you know, without your beloved Geese."
I thought of our little cottage in the wood. I imagined my life there, quite solitary. Perchance a cow might provide some companionship; I could surely afford one now. King Edmund, no doubt, would come to visit me now and again, but yet—'Twas true 'twould not be at all the same.
Slowly I nodded my head.
"I could try it here, I suppose, just for a time," I said.
"Hurrah!" shouted Little Echo (or Elaine). "Come into the throne room and we will tell the others!"
And she pulled me to my feet (incidentally disengaging my hand from the King's) and dragged me forcibly along.
As we went, she murmured for my ear alone, "Did you speak true to the Baroness? You said that you do not love Edmund. Because if you do not, may I have him? I think he is just wonderful. You cannot imagine how kind and good he was to me in the dungeons of Castle Breakabeen."
"My dear sister Elaine," I said, through clenched teeth. "I believe I have already told you to keep your distance from the gentleman in question."
"O, so then you do—!"
I placed my palm firmly across my new sister's mouth. Whether in human or Goose shape, she was clearly going to be a pest and a botheration to me.
I half turned to look at King Edmund following in our train. Mayhap, I mused, I would have to finish that last stitch on my wedding gown one of these days, after all.
Someone needed to keep an eye on the King of Dorloo.
And that someone most assuredly was not going to be Little Echo.