It was hard to choose small presents for Isabel and Skye – Isabel worked in this department store, and Stella had no idea what would appeal to Skye. She settled on a selection of artisan chocolate bars for each of them – surely you couldn’t go wrong with chocolate.
She was on her way to the ground floor when a dark red quilted jacket almost jumped out at her from a rack in the outdoor wear department. When she tried it on it fitted perfectly, and it was so warm and such a cheerful colour. She felt guilty as she handed over her credit card; she shouldn’t be spending money on herself unnecessarily. Well, it was too late to worry about it. She asked the assistant to cut the labels off so that she could wear it right away and got on the escalator quickly to avoid any further temptations.
‘Stella! Stella!’
Someone was waving frantically at her from the up escalator.
Carol. Last seen with Gav outside Harmony House after their wedding reception, their guests, including Ross and herself, running after their car, blowing kisses and hurling confetti … Stella little knowing that before the night was over she and Ross would be history.
She remembered with a pang that Carol did try to keep in touch with her. When she and Gav came back from their honeymoon and found out about the split between their two friends, Carol had contacted her immediately. But, as she’d had to be with everyone else, Stella was evasive about what had happened. Continuing to see Gav and Carol wasn’t really an option when Gav and Ross were best mates. So although Carol had tried several times after that to talk to her Stella could not be any more forthcoming and eventually Carol had stopped calling.
It was to her great credit, then, that she was greeting Stella in a friendly way.
Stella waved back and pointed, indicating that she would follow Carol back up.
‘Stell! Couldn’t believe it when Gav said he’d seen you. Didn’t believe him but his sister said, yes, it was you. Ross’s mum told her. Sorry to hear about your granny’s accident. How is she? And is it true Maddie’s in Australia?’
Yes, same old Carol, apparently unchanged by marriage and motherhood, and holding no grudges against her friend.
‘Hold on.’ Stella laughed. ‘It’s lovely to see you, Mrs Armstrong! How are you? Congratulations on your baby. What did you have?’
‘I had Emily, Emily Anne. She is gorgeous. Wait till you see her. She’s in the café with my mother – Mum’s come down to us for Christmas. We’re doing last-minute present shopping and getting some bits and pieces for the babe. You’ve no idea how much stuff you need for someone who’s this size.’ She held up her hands about twelve inches apart. ‘You haven’t answered any of my questions. Is your granny all right? She fell, didn’t she?’
Stella brought her up-to-date on what had happened to Alice.
‘Where were you going now?’
‘On my way out of here,’ Stella said. ‘Another few seconds and we’d have missed each other.’
‘Do you have time to come to the café and I’ll introduce you to my daughter? And I’m not letting you off the hook – I want to know what’s happening in Stellaland and if you and Ross are back together. Gav’s sister says he’s as tight-lipped as ever on the subject.’
‘We’re not together. We ran into each other by accident yesterday. I suppose it was good to get it over with – it would be impossible to keep clear of each other forever. But nothing has changed.’ Stella reached out to touch her friend’s arm. ‘How amazing to hear you say “my daughter”! Imagine you being a mum. I’d love to see her.’
‘Great. Come on. We can have a catch-up.’ She checked her watch. ‘Well, a short catch-up. We have to head back because …’ She stopped. ‘I have to get back,’ she repeated. ‘You know, ever since I heard you were here I’ve thought of calling you. What were you planning to do for Christmas? Spend it with Lilias?’
Stella shook her head. ‘I don’t—’
‘Not in Edinburgh surely? Turkey slices for one? Pull a cracker with yourself? You can’t do that! Or are you going to Ross’s grandpa’s? I s’pose that would be tricky. You’d be very welcome to come to us, we’ve got three bedrooms in our new place, loads of room if you want to stay.’
She was still talking when they arrived at the table where her mum sat, surrounded by parcels, and beside a baby buggy.
‘Mum, this is Stella. Do you remember? She was at our wedding in an amazing green dress.’
‘Hello, Stella.’ Carol’s mum held out her hand. ‘Yes, of course. You go out with Gav’s friend Ross, don’t you?’
There was an embarrassed pause.
‘Sorry. Have I put my foot in it?’
‘Yes, Mum, you have. But you weren’t to know.’ Carol bent over the pram. ‘Moving swiftly on … Stella, this is Emily. Emily, this is Stella.’
Stella peered in past a dangling Christmas reindeer. Above a pale yellow blanket there was a small head with a lick of fair hair. A mini Carol. Her rosy little lips were parted as if she would like to speak – yes, definitely like Carol – but her eyes were tight shut.
‘Well, that’s very rude of you, Emily Anne,’ Carol said fondly. ‘Not to wake up and say hello to your Auntie Stella.’
Stella would have liked to stroke Emily’s round cheek but was afraid she would be startled. ‘She’s lovely, Carol. So sweet.’
‘Isn’t she?’ said Emily’s proud grandma. ‘Stella, I remember now. Your granny was at the wedding too, wasn’t she? We had a nice chat.’
Stella explained about Alice.
‘I’m sorry. It’s a difficult time for you. Do give her my best wishes,’ Carol’s mum said sympathetically. ‘You wanted to get back for two, didn’t you?’ she said to her daughter. ‘You’ve got—’ She broke off.
‘Yes.’ Carol bent over the baby to tuck the blanket in. ‘Stella.’ She spoke without turning round. ‘If you’re at a loose end why don’t you come down to Melrose with us? We could have a late lunch and then Gav could run you to Tweedbank for the train – or he’d take you up to the Infirmary. He’s not at the garage this afternoon – he’s working on a car we have up at the house.’
‘I’m not going to the hospital this afternoon – Alice is having a scan. But haven’t you got other plans?’
‘We’re just going home. Do come.’
‘Are you sure Gav wouldn’t mind? Driving me, I mean?’
‘’Course not. I’ve got him well trained. Besides, he’ll be pleased to see you too.’
Carol’s mum seemed to be signalling to her daughter with her eyes. Carol didn’t respond. ‘Then you can give Emily a cuddle,’ she said to Stella enticingly.
Perhaps Carol’s mum was worried that Gav, Ross’s best friend, might not be as pleased to see her, nor want to be as helpful as her daughter assumed.
‘But Gav – it will be awkward, won’t it?’ Stella said hesitantly.
Carol straightened up. ‘It’s none of our business whatever happened between you and Ross. He was obviously gutted but I very much doubt he’s said anything to Gav about it – you know what men are like. It would be great if you got back together but if that’s not on the cards I’d be sorry if it meant that we didn’t see you.’
So did Gav and Carol know anything about Skye? No doubt Ross would be ‘tight-lipped’ about her too but if she was going to be down in Melrose a lot it wouldn’t be a secret for very long.
‘I’m sorry you and I haven’t been in touch,’ Stella said. ‘That was my fault. Things were … confusing. You’re right – oh, not that there’ll be anything different between Ross and me, but that shouldn’t mean that I can’t see my friends. I’d love to come, Carol, thanks.’
Carol’s mum took charge of the pram as they moved towards the lift.
‘Ross’s restaurant is doing brilliantly,’ Carol said. ‘We haven’t been since Emily arrived but we’ll have her christening lunch in it – on the eighth of January. Will you be able to come? Once when we were there – it wasn’t long after the new chef started – Maddie was in with friends, a flatmate I think and her old crowd from school. We had a fabulous meal – do you think you’ll have a chance to go before you go back to London?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Stella turned to face her. ‘Carol, please, do you mind if we don’t talk about Ross?’
‘I’m sorry.’ Carol didn’t sound very contrite though. ‘It’s still hard to realise that you two aren’t together. We’re going this way,’ she said, indicating right at the back door. ‘I’m parked in the multi-storey at the back of the St James Centre.’
‘Tell me about you and Gav,’ Stella said. ‘I understand that Gav’s with his dad now, at the garage.’
‘Yeah, they’re really busy. The usual repairs and things plus they do up classic cars now – it’s been a good sideline for them.’
‘You’ve moved from the flat you were in?’
‘When we knew that Emily Anne was on the way. A new house up the back of the town. It’s got a garden and there are lots of young families around. It’s great.’
‘And what’s it like being a mum? You look as if it suits you,’ Stella said, as they crossed through St Andrew Square. There was an ice rink here too, and various bars and food stalls with fake snow sprinkled on their roofs. From somewhere came a tinkling ‘Jingle Bells’.
‘Love it. Love it.’ Carol stroked Emily’s little hand which was gripping the silky edge of her knitted blanket. ‘And Gav’s besotted too. Yes, I thoroughly recommend it.’
‘Here we are.’ Carol’s mum spoke loudly and brightly as though she thought her daughter was being a little tactless in promoting motherhood to someone in no position to think about it herself. ‘Carol, do you mind? I want to pop in and get some wool in Lewis’s. I hope I won’t be long – I remember which floor you’re parked on.’
Carol lifted Emily out of the buggy and put her in a seat in the front of the car. ‘Mum’s already knitted enough outfits and blankets for a dozen babies,’ she laughed, as her mother dashed off. ‘Excuse me a sec, Stella.’ She took out her phone and composed a couple of texts, hesitating over the wording of the second one before hitting send. ‘Now I want to hear about life in the big city,’ she said, as she deftly folded up the buggy and put it in the boot. ‘Do you like it? Where do you live? Perhaps we could come down for a holiday sometime – you could show us round. I’d love to do the whole tourist thing. Have you made lots of friends?’
Stella was still answering Carol’s questions when her mother arrived back, and they drove down the car park ramp. She didn’t think Carol would be interested in the minutiae of her job so she told her about the London sights she’d seen and about the area she lived in, a part of the city that not so long ago would have been cheap to rent in but was now mind-bogglingly expensive, like everywhere else.
‘And friends?’ Carol persisted.
‘I’ve got great colleagues and some of them have become friends.’ Stella debated with herself whether to throw Nathan into the conversation, to say that some of the London tourist landmarks had been seen in his company, hint about his Christmas invitation … She remembered how, in the car on Wednesday, Ross had said, ‘We didn’t just drop her off, of course. We went into the terminal building with her, as far as we could go.’ ‘We’. Ross and Skye. Yes, she would talk about Nathan. It would be bound to get back to Ross and let him see that she was moving on too. That they could draw a line in the sand. While knowing that she herself was still behind that line.
She’d hardly embarked on the subject, was telling Carol and her mum about a visit to the Tower of London, when Emily decided to wake up and make her presence felt, which meant no one else could be heard. As Carol’s mum cooed over the baby and, from the back seat, tried to soothe her, Stella realised they were passing the entrance to the Infirmary and blew a silent kiss to Alice, fervently hoping that her scan would show no lasting damage.
Carol put some Christmas music on to play. With the baby’s wails and the songs as background to her thoughts Stella sat back in her seat and looked out of the window as the car sped towards Melrose.
Ross let himself into Gray’s house.
‘Grandpa?’ No reply. He walked through to the kitchen. Out of the window he could see the shed door was open and inside it Gray was cutting wood for the stove.
‘I can do that, Grandpa,’ Ross said. ‘You should let me know when you’re running out of logs.’
‘I can still do a pretty good lumberjack impersonation.’ Gray grinned as he handed over the axe. ‘That wood-burning stove fairly burns the wood and no mistake. It’s a life’s work trying to keep up with it.’
‘It was supposed to make your life easier, not harder,’ Ross said, taking off his jacket. ‘I’ll chop and you stack, okay?’
‘Bette said you’re seeing Gav and Carol this afternoon,’ Gray said, as he added to the neat pile of wood at the back of the shed.
‘The baby – Emily – is being christened next month and they’re having lunch after in the restaurant, so we’re going to talk about the food, whether they want a buffet or a sit-down.’
‘How does Gav like being a dad?’
‘Don’t know. I’ve hardly seen him and when I do he’s too knackered to speak. Goodness knows why. Don’t babies that age sleep all the time?’
Gray laughed. ‘As far as I remember they sleep a lot but not necessarily when you want them too. Well, that should be a lovely occasion – and it’ll spread word about the restaurant too. You’re doing really well there, lad, and in the shop, everyone says so.’
Ross felt a lump in his throat. ‘Thanks, Grandpa.’
‘Could you tell Gav I’ll be bringing my car round to him next week? Engine’s developed a cough of some sort. Getting old like myself, no doubt. Time I had a new one. I’d be glad of his advice.’
‘I’ll tell him. Shall I make you a cup of tea before I go?’
‘No, don’t worry. I’m quite capable whatever your mother might think. Maybe you could pop in later if you have time? Her and your dad won’t be back until late.’
‘I’ll see. I’m hoping I’ll be able to drag Gav out for a swift pint if he hasn’t nodded off. And if Carol lets him. You could join us – shall I let you know if it’s on?’
‘I’d like that.’ Gray clapped his hand on Ross’s shoulder.
‘Grandpa?’ Ross put his hand over Gray’s for a moment. ‘When Dad comes back and he and Mum leave, shall I move back in here? I’m thinking of doing up the flat and asking Tom if he’d like to rent it – he travels from Langholm at the moment.’
‘I’m sure he’d go for that – that road’s tricky this time of year and he’ll be travelling it in the dark mostly.’ Gray dusted his hands on his trousers. ‘It makes sense for Tom but is it really what you want to do? Don’t you want to be in your own place? Has your mother put you up to this? I’ve told her I don’t need looking after.’
‘No, she hasn’t. Not at all. But she was talking about advertising for a housekeeper for you.’
‘I heard her. A housekeeper! It’s a ghastly idea. I don’t want a stranger in the house and I’m perfectly—’
‘I didn’t think you’d like it,’ Ross said, ‘and if I said I was going to be here with you, Mum might get off your case.’
‘Smart thinking.’ Gray’s eyes twinkled. ‘Let’s present a united front. It will be tough but we men shall prevail! But I’m still thinking it’s not the best thing for you. Maybe we could divide the house in some way, have our own space as they say nowadays.’
‘We’ll talk about it.’ Ross zipped up his jacket. ‘I’ll let you know about that pint.’
Back out on the road he debated with himself whether or not to drive up to Gav’s. The new housing estate was only half a mile’s walk away – or run, but he wasn’t dressed for running.
‘Hey, Ross.’ Two boys were coming towards him, one he recognised as living round the corner. ‘This is my cousin. He’s from Glasgow,’ his young neighbour said. He nudged his cousin. ‘Go on. Get his autograph. He got capped for Scotland.’
The other boy’s eyes widened. ‘Who did you play for? Was it Rangers?’
‘Not football, you pillock.’
The cousin looked distinctly unimpressed.
Ross laughed. ‘Sorry to disappoint you. We play rugby down here. But I like watching football.’
Ten minutes later, after a heated discussion on the merits of various teams, Ross headed towards the restaurant to pick up his car. He was running late; he’d have to drive now. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Carol’s car turn up the road to the housing estate. An older lady sat behind her, probably her mum. He got a fleeting impression there was someone else in the back.
‘Stella.’ Gav kissed her on the cheek, rather coolly she thought. He wasn’t surprised to see her – presumably one of the texts Carol had sent from the car park had been to him. Then he turned his attention to the car seat Carol was holding. He swooped down and unbuckled the straps.
‘How’s my best girl? Come to Daddy.’
Stella was amazed to see Gav suddenly so animated. He never used to be someone who showed his feelings easily but here he was, cuddling his baby daughter, his face all lit up, besotted, as Carol had said. Life certainly hadn’t stood still since Stella left Melrose but why should she have expected it to?
Carol handed him a pink-spotted bag. ‘Nappy time.’ She turned towards Stella, laughing, as Gav bore Emily upstairs. ‘Can you believe it? Gav, changing nappies. Now, come through to the kitchen, talk to me while I make a bite to eat. You were telling us about your friend Nathan and the Tower of London.’
Her mother was about to close the front door. ‘Carol?’
Her voice sounded a little strained so Stella followed her line of vision.
Ross’s car had drawn up.
‘Carol?’ Stella said in her turn. ‘Did you know Ross was coming?’ She found herself looking round the hall as if for somewhere to hide.
‘We’re going to have Emily’s christening lunch in the restaurant. He’s come to talk it through. I thought if you saw each other in company it might be easier for both of you.’
‘I really wish you hadn’t done that, Carol. Does he know I’m here?’
‘Not yet.’ Carol went to greet Ross at the door.
She meant it for the best. Stella knew that while at the same time being furious with her. And with herself. She’d walked right into that. To buy herself some time she went through the nearest door correctly assuming that it would lead into the lounge. Carol’s mum followed her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘Carol can’t resist trying to rearrange the world to her satisfaction. Especially if it’s matchmaking between her friends. Look, Stella, of course I can leave you on your own here with Ross but I’m happy to stay if you’d like me to.’
‘I would,’ Stella said gratefully.
Ross could be heard talking animatedly in the hall while Carol, sounding more subdued than before, responded. She took Ross’s jacket, told him Gav would be down in a minute and it sounded as if she was on the point of letting him know that Stella was here when he caught sight of her through the lounge door.
His face paled. He ran his hand through his hair – and then repeated the gesture. His way of buying time presumably. A lock of his hair remained standing on end.
Stella could only hope that he didn’t think that she’d asked their friend to arrange this.
Carol put him right straightaway. ‘Stella didn’t know you’d be here, Ross. I’m sorry if I’ve done the wrong thing.’ Her voice became louder, more upbeat. ‘Guys, it’s almost Christmas! Season of goodwill, remember? You’re here now. Sit down and I’ll make some sandwiches.’
Carol’s mother leaped into the breach and made small talk. She told Stella about Emily’s dramatic arrival two weeks before she was due, and Gav’s midnight dash to get Carol to hospital; she asked her for more details about Alice and her accident; she discussed the weather forecast for Christmas; she said to Ross that she’d read a great review of the restaurant by a well-known local critic. Stella could have kissed her.
Ross could hardly not respond without appearing rude, but he managed not to look in Stella’s direction during the entire conversation.
‘Ross, mate, good to see you.’ Gav was downstairs again, carrying Emily. ‘Come out the back and see this beauty Dad and I are working on. A Rover P4, 1962. Hang on, I’ll get rid of this. Can you hold her for a minute?’ He laid the baby on Ross’s knee and went off to put the nappy bag in the bin.
Ross looked at Emily as if she might explode at any moment. Stella and Emily’s grandma couldn’t help laughing at his terrified expression.
‘That’s the way Gav was to start with,’ Carol’s mum said. ‘He’s an expert now. Put your hand behind her head. That’s it. You’re doing fine.’
Ross relaxed enough to catch a flailing little fist in his other hand. Stella’s heart contracted. What a picture it made – the big man with the tiny baby in his arms; she found it hard to tear her eyes away. But if Ross were happy enough to be holding Emily, Emily herself would have none of it and roared her disapproval.
Her father came in and picked her up. She arched her back and howled even louder. Gav lifted her to his face and kissed her. ‘Nothing I can do for you, my precious. You need your mum.’ He bore her off to the kitchen. Ross nodded in the direction of Carol’s mum and Stella and got up to follow him.
‘Thank you,’ Stella said. ‘I’m glad you were here.’
‘It’s a shame,’ Carol’s mum said. ‘I remember thinking you made a lovely couple at Carol’s wedding. But things don’t always work out, do they? And if you’ve met someone else in London …’
Through the door between the lounge and the kitchen Stella saw Ross miss a beat as it were; he seemed to pause for a moment between one footstep and the next. What had he made of that remark if he heard it? She wanted to say to Carol’s mum, I made it sound different to the way it was. Yes, I was at the Tower of London with Nathan – but two others from the office were there too. They were all born in London but none of them had been before. It was a sort of jokey office outing.
‘Excuse me,’ Stella said. ‘It was lovely to see you again.’ She got to her feet and picked up her bag as Carol came through with the baby clamped to her chest.
‘Peace reigns for the moment,’ she said, sitting down carefully.
Looking through to the kitchen and out of the window Stella could see that the men were standing beside a car in a sort of makeshift garage. A roof stretched out from above the kitchen window, there were two rather flimsy walls and the fourth side lay open to the elements. Gav was talking, stroking the top of the car as if it were a cat.
‘Carol, thanks for trying – I know you meant well – but this isn’t going to work. Maybe I can see you on your own before I go back?’
‘Definitely, but there’s no need to leave now. I’ll finish getting some food for us once this little madam’s had some lunch.’ The baby had one fist wrapped around Carol’s finger, her eyes fixed on her mother.
‘He doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me,’ said Stella. And that hurt so much. ‘We have nothing to say to each other.’
‘Oh you know what the boys are like when there’s a car engine to strip,’ Carol said. ‘That’s why he went out there with Gav.’
Secure in her marriage, Carol must have forgotten that life could be complicated and didn’t always work out the way you wanted, and that a broken relationship couldn’t be easily mended by a well-meaning friend trying to glue it back together over a plate of sandwiches.
‘But Stell,’ Carol went on, ‘we won’t be seeing Ross over Christmas. It’ll be just family. Why don’t you come to us? We’d love to have you, wouldn’t we, Mum?’
‘Yes, do,’ her mother urged.
‘That’s really nice of you, but I want to be able to see Alice on Christmas Day.’ She put up her hand to stop Carol saying what she knew was coming next. ‘And no, Carol, you can’t volunteer Gav or anyone else to take me up. I’ll be fine, honestly.’ She bent over to kiss her friend. ‘Emily’s wonderful. It’s been great to see you. I’ll call you later, shall I? Say goodbye to Gav for me.’
As Carol was occupied with feeding, so in no position to physically stop her, she could only continue to protest as Stella let herself out of the house.
She was thankful for the new jacket as she walked as quickly as her heels would allow back down the steep road into town – although a jacket with a hood would have been even better. Gloves would be a sensible idea too. A sleety wind blew straight into her face and whipped her hair around it. Her smart trousers were soon sodden and her legs very cold.
In the distance she could see the abbey, the ancient monastery where the heart of King Robert the Bruce was buried. It brought back a painful memory.
The day after Gav and Carol’s wedding her heart had leapt when she saw she’d got a text from Ross. She’d spent the night trying to compose one to him and by midday still had not decided on what she would say. His was brief – I can’t believe last night happened, is there any point in meeting? – but she sensed the anger behind it, imagined his finger stabbing out the letters.
She texted back to say she’d meet him at the café near the abbey. The walk there might clear her head. Give her time to decide what to say.
It was a vain hope. However much she went over it in her mind, the facts were the same. She had to go to London. She didn’t want to tell Ross why. She pulled herself right back into a place where he couldn’t reach her – a feeling she dimly remembered having when she and Maddie were told their parents wouldn’t be coming back. After ten minutes he left her sitting there, both their coffees untouched, and the view of the abbey through the picture window became blurred by her tears.
It struck her now, as she came closer to it, that in all its ruined glory it could be a metaphor for her relationship with Ross.
There would be time, she suddenly thought, to go to Hill View, get dried off, changed into jeans and a jumper and boots. She couldn’t remember exactly what was in her wardrobe there but it would be great to get out of her wet clothes. And to see Lilias of course. Thank goodness for Gray and Bette checking on her and keeping her up to speed on Alice’s condition – it was impossible for Stella herself to communicate with someone who wouldn’t answer the phone. But she couldn’t help feeling rather guilty, as she thought of Lilias worrying about rats in the attic and rattling around in that big cold house by herself. Ross was right. The range had had its day and no longer heated the water adequately or kept the house warm enough.
Down in the square she looked at the bus timetable, working out her movements, then, as she turned away from it, she spotted Gray carrying a carton of milk on the other side of the road, his head down against the wind. An ancient waterproof hat was perched on top of his dandelion-clock hair.
‘Gray!’
He couldn’t hear her. She crossed over and came up behind him, caught his arm gently.
He turned round in surprise. ‘Stella, how lovely! Where did you spring from?’
‘I bumped into Carol in town. She asked if I’d like to come down for the afternoon – Alice is having a scan – I drove down with her—’
‘And she took you to her house and Ross turned up.’ Gray was quick to put two and two together. ‘He told me he was going. And you ran away, eh?’ He tipped up his head to see her better, making raindrops fly off his hat in all directions.
Stella didn’t answer. She was colder than she ever remembered feeling in her whole life, and it wasn’t only because of the weather.
‘Lassie, you’re shivering.’ Gray put his arm round her. ‘It’s not a day to be hanging around at bus stops. Come back with me for a cup of tea.’
Stella leaned against him for a moment. ‘I was checking the bus times. I thought I’d go to Hill View, find some of my winter woollies. I only have London clothes with me!’
‘I’ll come with you, shall I? Oh, isn’t that Gav?’
A car drew up beside them and Gav lowered the window. ‘Stella, Carol sent me after you. I was going to give you a lift to the hospital – I’d be happy to take you into Edinburgh now.’
‘Gav, I’m sorry to be such a nuisance.’ She thrust her hands deep into her pockets and tried to keep her teeth from chattering. ‘Please go back. I’m going home now – to Hill View – to pick up a few things.’
Gav looked at Gray as if asking for guidance.
‘Good of you, Gav,’ Gray nodded. ‘But Stella’ll get back to Edinburgh later. I’ll see she’s okay. She’s had a tough time.’
Gav’s expression showed relief but also concern. ‘Of course. Well, if you’re sure,’ he said, sounding warmer than when he’d greeted her earlier. ‘I hope Mrs Greenlaw is on the mend, Stella. Give her our best.’
‘I’ll phone Carol later,’ she said, as the window slid up again.
‘Let’s get you home,’ Gray said. ‘You need to get dry. And I’m sure Lilias will be glad of some company this stormy afternoon.’
‘I know you meant it for the best, but it was never going to work,’ Ross said. ‘I’ve told you, Carol. It’s finished between Stella and me.’ He and Gav had been admiring the Rover’s bodywork when Carol came out and told them that Stella had left. Clearly it was because of him being here. He realised that part of him had hoped that she’d asked Carol to set up a meeting, if only to give him the satisfaction of walking out on it himself.
When he saw her there, so unexpectedly, in that dark red jacket she hadn’t had time to take off, he was reminded of the dress in a similar shade that she wore that Christmas Eve, the night their eyes met under the mistletoe and their lips followed suit …
‘Ross, I’m sorry, it was thoughtless of me.’ Carol walked up and down with Emily, covered in a shawl, over her shoulder. ‘Don’t be mad. We haven’t seen you for ages and we’ve got the christening to discuss.’ She patted the baby’s back. ‘But I’m worried about Stella. Gav – could you go after her? Pretty please? See she’s all right? I would go myself but Emily’s only had half her feed.’
Gav raised his eyebrows at Ross who smiled ruefully back. Over the last fifteen months Gav had never mentioned Stella’s name, not after Ross made it clear that the subject was off limits. So conversations with him were straightforward, not like the minefields Ross seemed to have strayed into during the last few days.
‘Okay,’ Gav sighed. ‘This is another fine mess you’ve got us into, my sweet. Perhaps it will teach you to mind your own business. Although I doubt it. Right,’ he said to Ross as he opened the bonnet of car, ‘there’s something you can do for me. I’ll show you. And then I’ll go and find Stella, although what I’m going to say to her I have no idea.’
‘Thank you, darling.’ Carol pouted a kiss at him. She began to unbutton her blouse as she turned to go back inside.
Ross crouched under the bonnet with Gav. It was indeed a beauty of a car he was working on, its engine complicated in some ways but blessedly uncomplicated in others. You knew where you were with an engine. He’d always enjoyed going round to the Armstrong’s garage with Gav after school and they were allowed to watch the mechanics working, even help, as long as they didn’t muck about. Years later when he got his first car he was surprised at how much useful information he’d absorbed about how they worked.
Gav pointed out what he’d like Ross to do while he was away. When he’d gone Carol’s mum came out with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit. He wanted to ask her what she’d meant when she said to Stella: ‘And if you’ve met someone else in London …’ At least, the words were clear enough but he wanted to know more. That must have been a right old gossip the three women had on the way down here. Well, if he knew Carol it would all spill out at some point.
He bent over the engine and concentrated on the task in hand.
If he took life an hour at a time he’d get through it.
In a surprisingly short time, Gav was back. Merely saying, ‘Stella’s with your granddad,’ he picked up an oily rag and leaned in alongside Ross, polishing the carburettor until it gleamed.
Carol came out, wearing a coat. ‘It’s freezing out here.’ She put her arm round Gav’s waist. ‘Thanks, love. How was she?’
‘Fine. With Gray.’ Carol evidently decided, for once, that discretion was the better part of valour, and didn’t ask any more questions. She perched on the car bumper, oblivious to Gav’s protests. ‘Mum’s doing the lunch. Emily fell asleep before her feed finished so she could wake up any minute,’ she said. ‘Carry on, boys. You both look so industrious. Rossie, can I ask you about the christening now, before Miss Armstrong requires my presence again? You can multi-task like we women do.’
Ross stood up and rubbed his back. ‘Fire away, Mrs Armstrong,’ he said. You couldn’t be cross with Carol for long. ‘Is that a list of questions?’
‘A list of suggestions.’ She flourished a sheet of paper. ‘Right, church finishes at twelve-thirty, allow half an hour for folk to coo over Emily, so we’ll be at the restaurant around one. Fortyish people. Okay?’
‘Okay, so far.’
‘I thought a buffet so folk can mingle more easily. A whole salmon, a ham, something veggie, two or three salads – one of them potato, it’s Gav’s favourite – a couple of puds, maybe a pavlova and a lemon tart? And Gav’s sister is making a fabulous pink and white cake to have with coffee.’
Ross grinned at her. ‘What have you left for me to do, Carol? You wouldn’t like to come and run the restaurant for me, would you?’
‘I like to be organised.’ Carol swatted him with the paper. ‘It’s going to be a very special day. How much would that come to?’
Ross reached out. ‘Can I take your menu plan? I’ll send you some figures – and costs for fizz or wine?’
‘Not so organised then, Car!’ Gav teased. ‘You forgot something to toast the baby’s health.’
‘It’s because I’m not drinking at the moment,’ Carol defended herself. She got off the bonnet. ‘That’s Mum waving at me. I better go. And you two come and have your sandwiches. How long can you stay, Rossie?’ she asked, leading the way indoors.
‘Not long, Carol. Difficult to have a social life with a restaurant. And Tom’s away at a wedding today so I need to get back well before we open. Can I drag your husband away for a quick pint after we’ve eaten here?’
Carol waved her hand. ‘Feel free. Who’s cheffing today then?’
‘Friend of Maddie’s. Skye. She—’
‘Did I meet her when she stayed with Maddie’s gran? Pretty? Kind of bouncy?’
‘If you say so.’ Ross headed off any more questions – he could see Carol’s mind going into overdrive as usual. ‘Pint, later, okay Gav?’
‘Actually, no, sorry. If you two would let me get a word in. I think I’ve got a buyer. Someone’s coming round at four to check out the old girl.’ He inclined his head in the direction of the car. ‘After Christmas, though, mate. Definitely. Well overdue, that pint.’
‘I’ll text you next week then, fix a time.’ Ross felt deflated. He’d been looking forward to talking cars in the pub with Gav – and Grandpa of course. He could still see if Gray felt like coming out but it hadn’t been a definite arrangement, and anyone with any sense would be staying in on a day like this. And, hang on a minute, Gav had said Stella was with his grandfather. So he definitely wouldn’t be going over there – it would appear as though he was chasing after her. He’d see Gray later though, after the restaurant closed, when he went home to Priorsford Road, and his mother and father would be back from the west coast.
‘Great to see you both – and to meet Emily,’ he said, as he took his leave. ‘She’s a poppet.’
‘Oh Rossie.’ Carol put her arm through his. ‘I’d hoped—’
‘Yes, well.’ Ross kissed her cheek. ‘Thanks for the sandwiches.’
‘I know I’m an interfering bat,’ she said, holding on to him as he went out to his car. ‘But I was thinking about you when I was feeding Emily. You and Stella. If you were quite indifferent to each other I’d believe it when you said it was all over. But it seems to me that your feelings, both of you, are as strong as they ever were – they’re just not, not—’
‘Just not good feelings?’ Ross suggested sarcastically, getting into the car.
‘Two sides of the same coin,’ said Carol.
Ross caught sight of himself in the rear-view mirror. Why had no one told him his hair was standing on end? ‘I’ll be in touch about the christening.’ He pulled the door to and managed a brief smile before driving off.