The ringtone reached her through her half-awake fogginess. She’d been quite sure she wouldn’t sleep a wink but she must have done.
‘How’re you doing in Heatherland? How’s your gran?’
‘Pete.’ She sat up and rubbed her eyes.
‘Did I wake you up?’
She held out the phone and peered at it to see the time. ‘Ten o’clock! Is everything all right?’
‘That’s what I rang to ask you. It’s a social call. On Saturday. Christmas Eve. So how is she?’
‘She should get out the day after tomorrow, thank goodness, although her ankle will be in plaster for ages. I’ll have to get some care sorted out for her, for after I go back to London – she’ll need more help than the friend she lives with will be able to give, I think.’
‘Good to hear,’ Pete said, ‘that she’s on mend, I mean.’
‘And, it’s all been amazing, but she’s got a brother in Australia, he was adopted and she never heard from him in seventy years but now she has. That’s where my sister’s gone.’
‘To Coolharbour?’
‘Yes, she says it’s wonderful.’
‘Turns out my wife’s got friends of friends there – what’s the brother’s name?’
‘Charlie, Charlie Hollis.’
‘I’ll pass that on. Tell me all about it when you get back.’ Pete’s tone changed a little. ‘Nathan’s set up another meeting with your man at InsideOut, ninth of January. You’ll be back for that?’
So not just a social call then.
‘Definitely.’ She crossed her fingers. ‘Back to the fray. Bye, Pete. Have a lovely Christmas.’
She leaned back against the bedhead and pulled the duvet round her against the chilly morning – and remembered, with a pang of horror, what Pete’s call had temporarily put out of her mind. Gray had crashed his car after leaving her last night. He was fine, Bette assured her, shaken up a little of course. But then it transpired that Bette hadn’t even seen him until much later when he was asleep so how did she know how he was really? She wasn’t even sure how it had happened, only that ‘Ross and Skye’ had got to him as quickly as they could. Ross and Skye. The names sounded as though they should always go together like … like Romeo and Juliet. Victoria and Albert. Fish and chips.
Her second pang of horror came when she recalled how she’d literally wept on Gray’s shoulder last night – not only did he now know Alice’s secret but perhaps thinking about what she’d told him had caused him to lose concentration when he was driving. His accident was all her fault – doubly so, because he wouldn’t have been in his car last night if he hadn’t been doing her a kindness. If he had any repercussions from that she’d never forgive herself.
So the first thing she must do was phone to see how Gray was this morning. Then she’d have a shower and wash her hair. She’d go out – she needed to buy herself some food for tomorrow, Christmas Day. She’d get some croissants too and have them with a cafetière of coffee. And when she’d finished her late breakfast it would be time to go and see Alice and tell her the joyful news about Charlie coming to visit.
Maddie’s other news would be best told by herself but Alice would be ecstatic to hear that Maddie wanted to move back home, and about her plans for the future. And she was being very practical for once. There was plenty of room in Hill View for Maddie to have workspace and the money saved from renting her room in the flat and the workshop in Edinburgh could go towards a shop unit in Melrose when a suitable one became available.
Maddie was sure to know plenty of people making beautiful things that could be stocked in the shop; there was Skye’s pottery for a start. Hmm. Maybe Skye would be moving to Melrose too of course. Ross and Skye.
That must be Skye she could hear in the shower although she hadn’t been aware of her coming in this morning. Isabel would be at work and she was catching the train to Stirling straight after she finished.
With any luck Skye would be keen to get away as well to wherever her mum lived and Stella wouldn’t have to see her again.
She was astonished and delighted to hear Gray at the other end of the line when she phoned Priorsford Road.
‘Lot of fuss about nothing.’ He brushed aside her anxious questions. ‘Bette hauled me off to the doc. I’ll live. I’ll see you at the hospital this afternoon.’
‘You’re still coming in?’
‘Of course.’
‘Right,’ she said weakly, ‘I’ll see you there.’
There was a tap on her door. Skye looked round it, her hair wrapped in a towel.
‘You are in. I wasn’t sure,’ she said. ‘Any word of Mr Ramsay this morning?’
‘Gray? I spoke to him a few minutes ago – he sounded fine. Determined to come up to see Alice this afternoon.’
‘I’m glad. Ross was really worried about him.’
‘He would be. They’re very close.’
‘I’ve heard from Mads,’ Skye said. ‘She’s jammy, isn’t she? Christmas in the sun. And all those fit Aussies. Maybe she’ll bring one back in her suitcase for me.’
‘Maybe.’ Skye was being friendly but Stella found it hard to be light-hearted in return. A ‘fit Aussie’, when she had Ross!
‘I’ll see you next week, then.’ Skye hovered at the door as if there was something she would like to say. ‘Hope Santa’s good to you! Bye.’
She’d get through Christmas. She’d get Alice home. She’d get through New Year. And then she’d go back to London. A fresh start. She’d have to let Nathan down gently – she’d hardly thought about him during the last few days; that had to mean something.
There would have to be more in her life though. More than flat, tube, office, tube, flat. Perhaps she should try online dating – Jane from the office went out with a different man every week or so it seemed.
But before any of that there was something she had to do. Unfinished business …
This afternoon she would take a deep breath and ask Gray for Ross’s mobile number as she didn’t have it any more. She would take an even deeper breath and she would ring him. Keeping her voice very steady, she would tell him she’d gone to London because Alice had incurred a large debt and she had undertaken to pay it off. She was so very sorry that she hadn’t been able to tell him at the time and that if she could go back she would have tried to get round that, handle things differently somehow. She would wish him and Skye all the best. She would say goodbye in a dignified manner. And that would be the end of it.
These sound and sensible plans sat like a lead weight in the middle of her chest.
‘So how did it go? We still in business?’ Tom asked as he put on his whites.
‘No problems at all with the cooking. Skye coped well. And the mushroom risotto went down a storm at lunchtime. We had an unexpected end to the evening though.’ Ross told Tom about Gray’s ‘argument’ with a fence post. ‘Gav had the car towed back to the garage this morning.’
Tom whistled. ‘But your grandpa wasn’t hurt, was he?’
‘Up at his usual time this morning. He swears he feels fine but he’s not quite himself I don’t think, and neither does Mum.’
‘And your dad’s back? Hey, I’ve only been away for twenty-four hours! It’s all been happening here.’ Tom put brussels sprouts, parsnips and a couple of red cabbages on the table ready for prepping.
‘He is,’ Ross confirmed. ‘Not that I’ve had much chance to catch up with him yet. But when lunches are finished he’s going to come along here and we’ll see if we can manage a bit of a walk up the hill.’ Perhaps now would be a chance to sound Tom out about the flat before his kitchen assistant arrived. ‘Tom, you know that Dad’s back in Scotland for good this time?’
‘Aye, your mum was telling me. They’re moving over Glasgow way, she said. That’ll be a bit of a change for you all.’
‘And maybe for you. I’ll move back home with my grandpa. What would you think about taking on the flat? I’ll do it up,’ Ross added hastily, remembering that Tom had seen round the place when he’d helped carry the new fridge upstairs. ‘It’s a time-warp, I know.’
‘I’m not bothered about the decor. I’m retro myself.’ Tom grinned. ‘That would be grand, Ross, if you’re sure. That landlady of mine – well, I’ll be glad to see the back of her. And it’ll be a relief not to have the drive every day.’
‘That’s settled then.’
So the die was cast there. No going back. As soon as New Year was over he’d arrange – despite Tom’s comment about the wallpaper – to have the flat replumbed, rewired and decorated. One plan coming to fruition.
However, his plan to have a walk with his father didn’t work out.
‘Ross.’ Even in that one syllable Gray sounded almost as agitated as he had last night, when he phoned Ross later in the morning.
‘Grandpa? Everything all right?’
‘No – we were going to the Infirmary to see Alice and of course I don’t have a car now. Could you drive us?’
Drive to the hospital when there was a chance he might see Stella. He would very much rather not, but concern for Gray overrode that.
He organised a member of staff to take his place – thank goodness he had staff he could rely on – but it was a bad time to be leaving the restaurant. It was almost half-past one when he was able to get away. Gray and Bette were waiting on the doorstep, Gray looking at his watch.
‘We’ll be late. Visiting time’s only till four.’
‘We should get there before three, Grandpa.’ Ross held the passenger door open for him.
‘Hang on a minute.’ Ross looked at his grandfather and then round at his mother in the back seat. Why can’t you go in Mum’s car? he was going to say, but he could hardly tell them he was backing out now. Besides, he didn’t want to upset Gray who sat in uncharacteristic silence beside him.
He started the car and concentrated on the road. Fortunately, yesterday’s mist had lifted and the weather was crisp and clear. Gray should still have plenty of time with Alice.
If Alice’s ankle hadn’t been in plaster she would have got out of bed and jumped for joy when Stella told her that she and Charlie would soon be reunited.
‘I’ve only got one photo of him. Uncle Frank took it almost seventy years ago,’ she said. ‘He was a lovely little boy. I’ll show you it to you when I get home.’
Stella clicked on the text Maddie had sent her with its attached picture. She enlarged it and passed the phone to Alice.
‘That’s what he looks like now,’ she said.
Leaving Alice to pore over the photograph, she went to look out of the window. She should have told Alice as soon as she came in that she’d blurted out her secret to Gray; now she didn’t want to burst her granny’s bubble of happiness.
Alice had run out of paper hankies so when Gray and Bette arrived Stella would pop down to the shop. Had Gray misunderstood the visiting times? It was five to three. She thought he’d have been here sharp at 2.30 – surely he wasn’t having any ill effects from his accident?
She breathed a sigh of relief. A tall figure with dandelion-clock hair could be seen striding across the car park, his daughter trying to keep up with him.
‘There’s Gray and Bette,’ she said. ‘I’ll go down and meet them and get your tissues.’
Alice blew her a kiss, hardly bearing to take her eyes off her brother.
Down on the ground floor, Gray and Bette were coming through the revolving door.
‘Are you all right?’ She ran to hug Gray.
He didn’t answer that. ‘I asked Ross to drive us up,’ he said in her ear. ‘Please tell him what you told me yesterday.’ He stepped back. ‘How is Alice?’
‘She’s definitely on the up.’ Stella smiled at Bette. ‘She can have two visitors at a time so I’ll just—’
‘No.’
They looked at Gray in surprise.
‘I will see Alice on my own first,’ he said. ‘Remind me where the lift is, Stella, if you would.’
Stella took him along and waited until he had pressed the button and the door closed.
‘He is behaving oddly,’ Bette said. ‘Nothing to do with his accident, I don’t think. His car’s in the garage – we could have gone in mine of course but he insisted on enlisting Ross as chauffeur. And what’s he up to now, marching off like that?’
Stella shrugged her shoulders helplessly. ‘Is Ross coming in?’ she asked.
‘No, he’s waiting in the car.’
She should get it over with, do what Gray said – tell Ross face-to-face what she’d been mentally rehearsing this morning. ‘I’m going out to have a quick word,’ she said to Bette. ‘Can you point out where he’s parked? I won’t be long.’
Bette’s eyes were full of questions but she gave her directions and ‘Off you go, my dear’ was all she said.
Once outside, she regretted that her jacket was upstairs in the ward – the Christmas jumper she’d worn again today offered only limited warmth out here in the car park. She tapped on his window and stood wrapping her arms around herself, although it wasn’t just the cold air that was making her shiver.
Ross turned off the radio and got out. He leaned against the car, his arms folded, his eyes expressionless. Dark trousers, white shirt – he always did scrub up well.
She spoke to him with her gaze fixed over his right shoulder. ‘Ross, I’ll be going back to London straight after New Year, as soon as I’ve got Alice taken care of. I wanted to say I wish you and Skye all the best.’
No! Mentally she clapped herself on the forehead. That wasn’t what she planned to say first; that was to have been her parting shot. She began again, talking as if she were reading from a script with the words she’d thought out earlier.
‘Hold on, hold on.’ Ross stood up straight and raised his hand. ‘I don’t know where to start with all this. You took the job in London to pay a debt of Alice’s? Why did you do that?’
His dark blue eyes weren’t expressionless now. They were bewildered.
‘Because Alice brought us up. She means everything to Maddie and me.’
‘I can see that of course,’ he said, ‘but what I don’t get is why you had to take it on and not, well, I don’t know, sort something out with the bank?’
‘It was nothing to do with the bank. It was a debt from a loan company. It has to be paid back as quickly as possible because the interest accumulates at a very high rate.’
‘But why couldn’t you tell me? I thought you … does Grandpa know?’
Stella rubbed her cold hands up and down her sleeves. ‘No one knew until yesterday – but Gray does now. Alice told me in the afternoon that she’d borrowed from another source to pay for Maddie’s fare – I asked Gray if it was him but he said it wasn’t.’
‘That’s what that was all about.’ Ross’s face cleared a little. ‘I thought he was confused after his crash.’
‘What?’
‘He asked me if I’d lent the money for the fare. I didn’t, by the way.’
‘Anyway, it all came out then. I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain.’
‘Can you try? Because I really really still don’t understand.’
Why hadn’t he just listened to her apology and let her walk away? She blew on her hands to try and warm them.
‘Do you want to sit in the car?’
She shook her head, to indicate no, but also to try to sort out her thoughts. This was going off-script. ‘Alice and Maddie are so alike,’ she said eventually. ‘Even when I was only about eight I was the one who tidied up after both of them when they’d been having a craft session. I was the one who said it was time for Maddie and me to go to bed. The one who reminded Alice about lunch money and new school uniforms. The boring practical one.’
‘You were too young to cope with all that.’
She didn’t want his sympathy, if that’s what it was. ‘I didn’t mind. I never thought about it until now. That’s the way it was. I should have taken over the money side of things too.’
‘Stella.’ For a moment she thought he was going to reach out to her but that was wishful thinking. ‘Alice might be dreamy and laidback but she was the grown-up, not you. You can’t blame yourself for her problems.’
Isabel had said something similar. Neither of them understood – or she wasn’t able to make them understand. She tried again. ‘Well, I do. Especially in the few years before … before I found out there was a problem. I was a trained accountant for goodness’ sake.’
‘Yes, working hard, passing all your exams with flying colours, working your way up the firm. You were in Edinburgh, you weren’t living at home. You had other things to think about – what’s wrong with that? You’ve no reason to feel guilty.’
Stella swallowed. And falling in love with you. That occupied a lot of my time.
Now that she’d started she would see it through if it killed her. If she didn’t die of frostbite first. ‘Alice has always hated talking about money; she’s not materialistic and she has no head for figures at all. So she didn’t read the small print in the documents she signed – she had no idea what she was getting into. She cried and cried when I found the statements; she’d stopped even opening them weeks before. It was awful, and it would have felt like a betrayal to tell anyone. So I made the decision not to, and once I’d done that it felt like there was no going back. I just put my head down and got on with it.’
‘But what about me? What about us?’ Ross’s voice cracked.
‘There was no going back,’ Stella repeated. She felt her eyes brim up and blinked furiously. ‘I didn’t want to lie so it seemed best not to say anything. It’s only now, these past few days, that I’ve allowed myself to think about what I did to you, running away without an explanation. I’ve made such a mess of everything. I’m so sorry.’ She dashed her arm over her eyes. ‘I hope that you can forgive me and we can part as friends.’
This was when she should put out her hand for Ross to shake but she couldn’t do it.
‘For God’s sake, Stella. I don’t want to be your friend.’
‘What?’ The words were like a blow.
‘I want … is there anyone else? In London?’
‘No.’ Not in the way he meant. ‘But now that we’ve cleared the air I hope I can move on, like you.’ I won’t cry, she told herself, I won’t.
‘Move on? When the last fifteen months have been … what do you mean “like you”?’
‘Skye, of course. She’s a sweet girl.’
‘You said something about Skye at the beginning of this conversation. I did – we did—’
‘Ross, I know she’s been in Melrose the last two nights.’
‘Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking.’ His face flushed. ‘We did get together a few months ago but it was never going to be a serious thing.’
‘So you’re not going out with her? But why was she—?’
For the first time in so long Stella saw a hint of a smile on Ross’s face when he looked at her. ‘No, I’m not. Tom, my regular chef, was away and Skye came down to cover for him.’
‘She went down to cook for you? She’s not your girlfriend?’
Ross took a step towards her. ‘Can we stop talking about Skye?’
And there he was, her own Ross, looking at her the way he used to, not with the indifferent mask she’d seen the last few days.
‘Can we work it out?’ He came closer. ‘Start again? If you feel the same. I love you, Stella. I never stopped. I tried to but I couldn’t do it.’
She ran into his arms. ‘Oh yes. Are you sure? After the way I treated you?’
‘I’m sure.’ Ross found her lips with his and began to make up for the last fifteen months.
‘Come and sit in the car,’ he said a few minutes later, ‘before you turn into an icicle.’
Reluctantly, Stella lifted her left arm from around his neck so that she could look at her watch.
‘It’s quarter to four!’ she said. ‘Your poor mum! I left her in the foyer saying I wouldn’t be long. And Alice will be wondering where I am. I was supposed to be buying her tissues.’
‘I don’t think either of them will mind, do you? I know Mum always hoped that we’d get back together. And I think Alice will be pleased.’ He put his arm around Stella as they crossed the car park.
‘She’ll be thrilled to bits,’ Stella said. ‘I can’t wait to tell her.’
Bette was nowhere in sight so they got the lift up to the ward on their own. It felt to Stella as they kissed again as if light years had passed since she’d got the lift down, unhappy and uncertain about the rest of her life.
Ross put his finger under Stella’s chin and tipped up her face. ‘Stay with me tonight? Or shall I take Grandpa and Mum home and come back to Maddie’s flat? Whichever you want.’
Tonight. Christmas Eve.
‘What about Bette’s party? You should be there.’
‘We should be there. But she put it off until Hogmanay because of Alice. So tonight is just for you and me and I don’t think we’ll be needing any mistletoe.’
To wake up with Ross on Christmas morning. Perhaps the fairy had been listening after all.
The lift stopped and the doors slid open. Bette stood there, her face alight with excitement.
‘There you are! I was coming to find you, Stella.’ She obviously didn’t take in that they were both there, standing close together. ‘You’ll never guess: Gray and Alice are going to be married!’
Stella peeked round the door of the ward. Gray was sitting in the chair holding Alice’s hand.
She tried to take in the news as she went over to them. She knew that Gray and Alice had been friends and neighbours for a very long time, that they were fond of each other, but she’d never dreamt that this would happen. Had they each harboured romantic feelings for the other for years and years or had Cupid mischievously bided his time before firing his arrow? But then the ways of Cupid were mysterious – she knew that better than anybody.
Gray stood up. ‘Bette’s told you?’
‘I can’t believe it. You’re going to be my step-grandpa!’ She flung her arms round his neck for a moment before bending over to kiss Alice. ‘What a wonderful day for you.’ She didn’t say that it was a truly wonderful day for her as well. That could wait. This was Alice’s moment.
‘Oh, lovey, isn’t it? I’m so lucky. I hope this silly ankle doesn’t take long to heal. How can I get married with it in plaster?’
‘We’ll get married whenever you want, plaster or no plaster,’ Gray said. ‘The main thing is I’m here to look after you now.’ He sat down again and patted Alice’s arm but he was looking at Stella, his eyes saying, Everything’s going to be fine for you too. You don’t have to do it all any more. We’re in it together.
‘Oh.’ Alice clasped her hands under her chin, her pansy-brown eyes shining. ‘I’ve had a wonderful thought. Maybe we could be married when Charlie comes over – he could give me away, if that doesn’t sound crazy for an old lady.’
‘Less of the “old lady”!’ Stella said. Charlie would be coming over in a few weeks, Maddie had said. Not a long time in which to arrange a wedding … But Alice looked so happy. ‘That would be perfect, wouldn’t it?’
‘Absolutely perfect,’ said Alice.
A bell rang. The visitors at the other beds began to gather up their belongings. Gray leaned down and kissed Alice on the forehead. ‘I’ll hang about here and come back at half past six.’
Alice caught Stella by the hand before she could follow Gray out of the ward. ‘I told Gray about you-know-what. He tried to take it as a new story but I could see in his face that he knew. He said you hadn’t meant to tell him but it just came out.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Stella said. ‘That’s what happened. But I’m glad you told him – you shouldn’t have any secrets from him now.’
‘I’m the one who’s sorry,’ said Alice. ‘I should never have allowed you.’
Stella didn’t want Alice to follow a train of thought that would lead to the harsh truth that the debt had been the cause of the break-up with Ross. It would be painful for both of them, and in any case that was water under the bridge now – and that was news she’d save for tomorrow. Besides, Alice was looking pale and tired – if they’d thought she was well enough surely they would have let her out for Christmas.
‘Don’t think about it,’ she said. ‘Try and sleep. We’ll see you later.’
Outside in the corridor Gray had a broad smile on his face as he stood with his daughter and grandson. ‘And I understand you’ve got some news for me, Stella?’
‘Ross and I have some news for you,’ Stella amended happily. ‘He knows all about everything and, well, we’ve made up.’
‘He’s just told me,’ Bette said. ‘Thank goodness. Perhaps we’ll get a smile out of him now.’
Gray clapped Ross on the back. ‘Great news. Great news. Alice will be delighted.’
‘Grandpa, you’ve got great news yourself! So that’s what you were up to.’ He pulled Stella close to him. ‘Love is in the air this afternoon.’
‘I think we should wait until tomorrow to tell Alice about us. She’s had a proposal of marriage’ – Stella flashed a grin at Gray – ‘and she’s also seen her brother for the first time in almost seventy years. Maddie texted a photo of him. I think she’s had enough excitement for one day.’
‘That sounds sensible,’ said Bette. ‘I’d love to hear more about Alice’s brother. Dad, what do you want to do? Shall we go and have a cup of tea and wait until you can go and see Alice again – if that would be all right with you, Ross?’
‘Sure,’ Ross said. ‘I’d like to hear the Australian story too.’ His arm tightened around Stella. Have to wait a little while longer until we’re alone.
‘I’m not going to tell Alice this,’ Stella said, as they sat down in the café. ‘Maddie can give her news – more good news! – herself. She wants to move back home, work from the house, and she says she’d like to open a shop in Melrose like one that Charlie’s granddaughter has … oh, but how will that work out now? With Alice and you? And what about Lilias?’
‘Stella.’ Ross and his grandfather spoke in unison, evidently two minds with a single thought.
Gray wagged his finger at her. ‘It will all work out, Stella, don’t you fret. Let’s enjoy the moment. There are undoubtedly practicalities to think about but there’s nothing we can do about them today. Let’s be seeing that photo of your long-lost uncle.’
Stella fished out her phone. ‘Oh, no,’ she said in exasperation, ‘I’ve got a text from my boss.’ She’d spoken to Pete this morning – what more was there to say? Out of force of habit she clicked to read it.
‘Isn’t this brilliant?’ She looked up, a big smile on her face. ‘Pete says that his wife asked a friend who knows someone in Coolharbour. Apparently Charlie is a very big noise there, a much-respected artist and “an absolute gem of a man”.’
As she had done for Alice she enlarged the photograph to show them a cheerful-looking man with hazel eyes and receding silvery-fair hair. She told them the little she knew about Charlie. ‘Alice is going to write it all down,’ she said, ‘and it will be interesting to hear from him how he found her.’
‘It happened a lot then, I believe,’ said Gray, ‘children being adopted for economic reasons and a lot of them went abroad. Very sad. But,’ he raised his teacup, ‘they’ll see each other soon, and today our two families have been united. Cheers!’
‘Cheers!’ Stella bumped her cup against his. He’d always been the grandfather figure in her life and soon the relationship would be official.
‘I was thinking about tomorrow,’ Bette said. ‘I know that visiting hours are more flexible on Christmas Day so Kenneth could take you,’ she turned to Gray, ‘and Stella up around midday.’
‘The restaurant’s open for Christmas lunch,’ Ross said apologetically to Stella. ‘I’ll be finished around five, I hope.’
‘You’ll have the afternoon with Alice and then we’ll have our Christmas dinner when you get back,’ Bette went on. She looked at her son, a spark of mischief in her eyes. ‘Santa hats optional.’
Ross reached for Stella’s hand under the table and laughed. ‘I wouldn’t rule them out.’
Stella could picture it now. The dining room in Priorsford Road. Glittering tree in the bay window. Delicious food and wine. Crackers. Maybe Santa hats! She recognised the reference to the romantic films she loved to watch at this time of year. It would be perfect if Alice and Maddie could be there, but everyone else she loved would be sitting round the table. Especially one person.
‘Stella, how about you and Ross go now and get anything you need from Maddie’s flat?’ Bette suggested matter-of-factly. ‘You’ll be coming back to Melrose tonight?’
Stella nodded, clutching Ross’s hand tightly. Yes, she would. Back where she belonged.