There is no shortage of food-related traditions in France, the home of croissants, fine wine, and snail eating. There’s even a frog leg–eating festival—although the rest of the world has pretty much recoiled in horror from this culinary delicacy. Still, there’s lot of stuff for foodies to celebrate. The Fête de la Truffe (Truffle Festival) in Sarlat-la-Canéda and the Salon du Chocolat (Chocolate Fair) in Paris are but two events that attract foodies from far and wide. But one of the biggest happens on Easter in the southwestern town of Bessières. It’s not cosmopolitan or chic. It seems more like something you might see as a promotion for the grand opening of a greasy diner in the American South (which might explain why the town of Abbeville, Louisiana, has their own version): an omelet the size of a minivan.
To prepare this absurd feast requires the sacrifice of fifteen thousand eggs and an unknown number of exhausted chickens. According to legend, this custom originated when Napoleon Bonaparte stopped by the village in between conquering Europe and enjoyed an omelet so delectable that he appropriated every egg in town in order to create a meal humongous enough to feed all his soldiers.
Garçon, There’s a Gonad in My Soup
Did you think masticating on oysters and nibbling on frog legs were the grossest things the French do at their tiny café tables? Well, maybe they are if you don’t mind the horse meat options you can commonly find on the menu. Or the delicious-sounding ris de veau, which is a nice way of saying “calf pancreas.” Perhaps you’d prefer the elegance that is frivolites beneventines couilles de mouton, an expensive delicacy from the Périgord region, the main ingredient of which is sweet, tender sheep testicles.
Remember how we mentioned that a town in Louisiana does something similar every year? Well, they’re not the only non-French locality with a strongly Gallic heritage to create their own monument to fried chicken fetuses. The official Giant Omelet Festival takes place in seven locations around the world, including multiple locations in France; Granby in Quebec, Canada; Dumbéa in the South Pacific territory of New Caledonia; Malmedy, Belgium; and Pique, Argentina. And if the city administrators of Egg, Austria, haven’t yet considered applying for membership, they’re really missing out on a tourism opportunity.
It’s not mere amateurs who are charged with the cooking duties, by the way. Only members of the eminent Brotherhood of the Omelet (duly appointed by the Knights of the Giant Omelet) are given the weighty responsibility of cracking all the eggs and sizzling up a breakfast fit for Godzilla. The preparation involves a ridiculously large pan, of course, along with an equally immense fire and vigorous stirring with oar-sized spoons. The Brotherhood doesn’t get to hog the final product all for themselves: Reasonable portions are handed out to the thousands of nonvegans in attendance.
The outsized omelet cooking is but one of the events that take place during this festival (which actually doesn’t always fall on Easter, should you be hankering for a slice and don’t want to show up late). Attendees can also enjoy music, dancing, parades, and the like, but you can experience that sort of stuff anywhere. The real attraction is watching very serious chefs stir up an omelet big enough to appease a giant coming through town (and maybe, in the process, raise his cholesterol to heart attack levels).
Down Home on the Villa
Just as the making of a giant omelet has been replicated by other countries, France’s Pig-Squealing Championship strikes a familiar chord. This event, held in Trie-sur-Baïse, would make any porker proud. Contestants see who can best mimic porcine noises through different stages of their life cycle. There’s also the Fête de la Dinde in Licques, which is a parade consisting entirely of (we’re going to assume highly anxious and suspicious) turkeys.
Maybe we downplayed the other attractions a little too much. At least according to the 2018 schedule of events, there do seem to be plenty of other sights to divert one’s attention from the behemoth breakfast preparation. On November 3, there was a Tractor Egg Cracking Competition, which sounds wasteful yet entertaining. On the following day you had to show up early to register for an intriguing attraction called the Giant Omelet Ride. The Louisiana counterpart livened things up with an egg-cracking contest and an antique car show, while the one in Belgium is perfect for daredevils as they’ve had a recent egg production pesticide scare. New Caledonia brings in a merry-go-round if you need to park the kids somewhere while you scarf eggs.
