On Thursday morning, Mary Beth Kennsington sat on the side of her bed, staring blankly at the golden-pink swirls on the pale blue horizon.
“Honey, I need to leave for work now,” Joe said. “I’m worried about you being alone. I wish you’d go over to Rhonda’s.”
“What for? I can’t think of anything but Sherry. And the minute I walk out the door I’ll have every media maniac from here to kingdom come all over me, not to mention the FBI smothering me so I won’t get smothered.”
Joe gently pulled Mary Beth to her feet. “The more you give in to this, the worse you’re going to feel. The kids and I can get our minds off it for brief periods at school, but I’m concerned you’re not getting a break from it.”
“How can I? I’ve almost lost hope that Sherry’s coming home …”
Joe’s eyes locked on to hers. “Mary Beth … Sherry is the Lord’s.”
She tried to pull away from him, but he held onto her arm.
“You think I’m not feeling it, too?” he said. “I have to confront Sherry’s absence in the eyes of every student I see …” His voice cracked with emotion. “But God gave her to us, and it’s up to Him to give her back or take her home. Either we believe He’s sovereign, or we don’t.”
“I don’t want to hear it, Joe!”
“Shutting Him out is the worst thing we can do. Shutting each other out is a close second.”
Jordan Ellis rubbed his morning stubble. He glanced at the black-and-white clock. Eight-thirty? What was taking Snead so long? He always came up with something when he had enough data.
He got up from the computer and opened the blinds, then poured the last cup of coffee and reached for his electric razor. The phone rang.
“Yeah, it’s Jordan.”
“This is Agent Snead, newlywed-in-the-doghouse.”
There was a long pause.
“Jordan, I’m kidding. Cheryl understood.”
“That’s good.”
“Listen, I don’t have anything solid yet, but I’m narrowing down the field. I need more time. If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to stay with it today.”
“Get some rest, Jason. I don’t want to kill you off. I need you.”
“If I promise not to die, can I keep working?”
Jordan smiled. “You remind me of me. Are you sure it won’t cause problems at home?”
“Cheryl understands this is big. I want to crack this case as much as you do.”
“All right, stay with it. I’ll be planted here until the cows come home. Keep me posted.”
Rebecca Purdy’s eyes flew open, and she sat straight up in bed.
“Honey, are you all right? I heard you call out.” Her mother rushed over to the bed. “Look at you! You’re soaked with sweat again. That does it. You’re going to see Dr. Martin and find out what’s wrong.”
“I just had a bad dream.”
“More like a bad bug. I’m calling his office right now to make you an appointment. Do you want me to stay home from work and take you?”
“No, I can go by myself.”
“You sure you’re up to it?”
She nodded.
Her mother left to make the call.
Rebecca laid her head on the pillow. How long could she ignore what she knew just because she was afraid of getting Wayne in trouble? A wave of nausea swept over her, and she felt as if she were going to be sick.
“All right, honey, Dr. Martin will see you at 10:00. I’m riding to work with Charlotte and leaving you the car. Call me as soon as you get home. I want to know what he says.”
Rebecca nodded.
Velma bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you.”
Rebecca wrapped her arms around her mother and held on longer than she meant to.
“Honey, what is it?”
“Nothing. I just love you.”
Monty’s was bustling with activity on Thursday morning, and Wayne was glad to be busy.
“Wayne, would you clean up those empty booths?” Mark Steele said. “We’ve got people waiting. I think everyone in the media gets hungry at the same time.”
“Sure. No problem.”
Wayne carried a plastic tub to the first booth and began filling it with dirty dishes, aware of his hands. He was surprised how little it bothered him that he had strangled Sherry Kennsington.
Had things not gone into high gear, he might have been irritated that Ellen Jones didn’t print the contents of the note he sent to G. R. and made no mention at all of the one left for Jordan Ellis.
But what difference did it make now? He didn’t need the Baxter Daily News. He was going to kill Taylor Logan before the day was over and make headlines around the country. He was moving on to the ultimate payback, when G. R. Logan would be brought to his knees.
“Wayne, what are you grinning about?” Mark asked.
“Huh? I don’t know. Just feeling up today, I guess.”
Mary Beth heard the phone ring and ignored it. When the answering machine clicked on, she heard Rhonda’s voice.
“I’m not giving up, Mary Beth. Even if I have to call you a dozen times before you answer it. You haven’t talked to me since Sunday. You don’t return—”
“Hello.”
“There you are,” Rhonda said. “I was hoping you’d finally answer.”
“Sorry. I haven’t felt like talking.”
“I’m coming to get you. It’ll do you good to get out.”
“What’s the point?”
“It’s called sanity. You can’t keep holding it all in. Talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say, Rhonda? That God’s in control? That He knows where Sherry is? That she belongs to Him? Well, I already know all that, and I’m sick and tired of … Look, it’s better if I don’t talk right now.”
“The very thing you need to do is talk. Be honest with God, Mary Beth. You’re the one who told me He can handle our feelings, that we’re the ones who have trouble with it. You believe that or you wouldn’t have told me.”
“I’m not sure what I believe right now.”
“Your feelings are mixing you up.”
“Joe and the kids seem to be handling it better.”
“What’s the standard for handling something better?” Rhonda said. “You handle it the way you handle it. Everyone’s different. You need to be honest with yourself and with the Lord. If you do that, you can deal with it.”
“No, I can’t! I’ll never be able to deal with it if Sherry is murdered.” She started to cry.
“Mary Beth, please. Let me come get you and bring you to my house. There’s nothing you could say to make me not love you. You need to vent, get your feelings out. Let me help. This whole thing is hurting me, too …” Her voice cracked.
There was silence.
“All right, Rhonda. It’s 9:00. I’m doing exactly nothing, so when do you want to pick me up? You know we’re stuck with FBI, don’t you?”
“We’ll pretend they aren’t around.”
“But can you deal with the media? I doubt if the president has ever had this many people camped outside the White House.”
“I can deal with just about anything except your not talking to me.”
“I warn you, they’re like a pack of wolves waiting for some fresh kill to devour. After all the times I’ve watched tragedies unfolding on TV and appreciated the media coverage, I never dreamed one day the cameras would be on me. I resent the intrusion. Ironic, isn’t it?”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes to rescue you. Wear a scowl.”
“A scowl? Why?”
“I’ll bring you a two-by-four. Even the media knows better than to mess with a crabby redhead carrying a big stick.”
Mary Beth smiled. “I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed you. Hurry up, Okay?”
The white Ford Taurus rounded the last hill and descended into Baxter. Through the bare trees, Rebecca spotted the water tower and remembered the awful words her brother had hung there.
She dismissed the thought. She had to figure out where Wayne was hiding Sherry and Taylor. They deserved to know Wayne wasn’t really planning to hurt them.
But even if she found them, would she be able to talk Wayne into letting them go and turning himself in? Surely the FBI would go easy on him if he explained that his feelings were mixed up over the loss of their father? At least she hoped so. Wayne was no criminal.
Rebecca counted the chimes as the clock tower struck 11:00. Why not start at the house and rummage around? Maybe she’d find some clue that would tell her where Wayne was hiding the girls.
If she found them, she’d confront him at 2:00 when he left Monty’s.
The phone rang in Jordan Ellis’s office.
“Yeah.”
“Jordan?”
“Who else would be in here?”
“Did we get up on the wrong side of the bed?” John Richards said.
“I haven’t been to bed. I didn’t mean to snap, John. I want this guy, and you know how I get. Anything new for me?”
“Maybe.”
“How promising is maybe?”
“I won’t know until after lunch. I just called to dangle the carrot.”
“That’s really lame, John. I’m not in the mood for your humor.”
“Oh, sure you are. I’ll call as soon as I know if I’m right.”
“Aren’t you going to give me even an itty-bitty hint?”
“Well, let’s just say I’ve got a wild hair. Talk to you later.” Click.
Mary Beth sat in the Wilsons’ kitchen, while two FBI agents stood outside the front door.
“I’m glad to see you eat something.” Rhonda cleared the dishes out of Mary Beth’s way.
“The quiche tasted good. Thanks. Half the time, I forget to eat.”
“Mrs. Kennsington?” Jennifer stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you and your family. This must be so hard.”
Mary Beth nodded. “Thanks, Jen.”
“I’m going for a walk,” Jennifer said. “If I don’t move, I’ll just take another nap or watch some dumb soap opera.”
“Okay, honey. Bundle up,” Rhonda said. “By the way, we’re having your favorite for dinner.”
“Chicken and dumplings?”
“Uh-huh. I thought it might go down pretty well.”
“How’d you know I was craving that?”
Rhonda shrugged, a smile on her face.
“If I’m not back in thirty minutes send a tow truck.” Jennifer turned and went out the front door.
“It’s nice to have Jennifer home. I’ve missed her dry humor.”
Mary Beth’s eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry,” Rhonda said. “That was insensitive. I—”
“Not at all. I’m happy for you. I just miss Sherry …” She began to sob, and felt Rhonda’s hand on hers.
“Mary Beth, I don’t pretend to understand exactly how you feel, but as a mother, I can imagine your pain. I’m so sorry you have to endure this.”
“She’s loved God since she was five years old. She’s served Him with all her heart. Where is He now when she needs Him?”
“You’re the one who taught me that God has a plan and that everything works together for good when you love Him and walk with Him. You told me He doesn’t waste anything. Mary Beth, that’s one of the reasons I became a believer.”
“I’m not sure I even believe that right now.”
“I think you do. You’re just hurting and have a million questions. Who wouldn’t? I don’t understand it either, but I do believe in the God we serve. He is with Sherry. She can’t be out of His presence.”
Mary Beth sighed. “Part of me knows that. Part of me doubts it.”
“Then hold on to the part you know,” Rhonda said. “I’ll hold up the other half.”
Mary Beth was home by noon. She lay on the couch, her feet up, wondering if she had ever felt more exhausted or more defeated.
She remembered the envelope Rhonda had given her and reached over and took it from her purse. She opened it with her thumbnail and removed a notecard. On the outside was a picture of Jesus tenderly holding a child’s face in His hands. She opened it and founded a folded piece of paper inside. She began reading the card:
Dear Mary Beth,
You’ve taught me so much about loving God and trusting Him. I know the truth of that hasn’t left you, even though it’s hard to get in touch with it when you’re overwhelmed with fear and anger. But those are just feelings. They don’t change what you know deep inside: God is faithful and you can trust Him, even with Sherry’s life.
You gave me the enclosed words, and I’m giving them back as a reminder. I hope they reach clear down to your heart and put you in touch with the loving God you helped me to find.
I love you,
Rhonda
Mary Beth unfolded the piece of paper and recognized her own handwriting on a page from her prayer journal. She read the words:
When silence is God’s only voice,
And waiting on Him my only choice,
A banner of faith I humbly raise
And offer a sacrifice of praise.
Though answers He may not impart,
Forever I can trust His heart.
Mary Beth’s hands shook. She stared at the words, wondering if she would ever believe them again.